
Who done it
In “Who Done It?,” a fourth-season “Dallas” episode, Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) arrives at Southfork to find J.R. (Larry Hagman) reading in his wheelchair on the patio.
SUE ELLEN: J.R.?
J.R.: [Looks up from his book, startled] What are you doing here?
SUE ELLEN: Where’s Kristin?
J.R.: Don’t come any closer. [Moves his wheelchair toward the table] I’m going to call the police. Don’t you come any closer. [Struggles to get out of the wheelchair]
SUE ELLEN: [Looks at him with pity] J.R., I didn’t come here to hurt you. I just want to know where Kristin is.
Kristin (Mary Crosby) exits the house, steps onto the patio.
KRISTIN: [Cheery] Sue Ellen, I brought your things.
SUE ELLEN: [Sarcastic] Regular angel of mercy, aren’t you? So supportive. Keeping my secrets. Taking me in.
KRISTIN: What happened? What are you talking about?
SUE ELLEN: I have finally figured everything out, that’s all. You have been trying to frame me.
KRISTIN: [Laughs] You’re crazy.
SUE ELLEN: [Smiles] Well, you were right. I was at that condo that night, looking for J.R. And yes, I did have his gun. But you saw how drunk I was, and you still gave me a drink, knowing I’d put the gun down to take it. You went to the office that night with J.R.’s gun. It was you, Kristin, who shot J.R. Then the next morning, while I was showering, you hid the gun in the closet. [Flashbacks appear as Sue Ellen speaks.]
KRISTIN: You think you’ve got it all figured out.
J.R.: [Speaking into the phone] Get me the police.
KRISTIN: I wouldn’t do that if I were you, J.R. [She and Sue Ellen walk toward him.] Not unless you want your child born in prison. Now wouldn’t that be a scandal? Jock Ewing’s grandson: jail baby. [Snickers] I think I’ll write my memoirs there.
J.R.: You’re bluffing.
KRISTIN: Call Dr. Gibson. I saw him yesterday. He’ll tell you. [A voice on the phone says, “Dallas Police Department.”]
SUE ELLEN: [Reaches for the phone] Give me that phone. I’m not going to jail for her.
J.R.: Nobody’s going to jail. I’ll handle Kristin my own way.
Perfect script. Sound bites with horses in the pasture, wind blowing, and the nonchalant attitude of Kristin!!