The Dal-List: 19 Reasons to Love ‘Dallas’s’ Ninth Season

Barbara Bel Geddes, Clayton Farlow, Dallas, Howard Keel, Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow

Dream on

Dallas Decoder will soon begin critiquing the original show’s ninth season, which aired from 1985 to 1986. Here are 19 reasons to love it.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow

True blue

19. Mama returns. We never needed her more.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Mourning in America

18. J.R. says goodbye. Does anyone do the single tear thing better than Larry Hagman?

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing


17. Sue Ellen relapses. Linda Gray’s tour de force.

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing


16. Sue Ellen recovers. The most satisfying storyline in “Dallas” history?

Dallas, Linda Gray, Lou Diamond Phillps, Sue Ellen Ewing

Welcome to the jungle

15. La Bamba shows up. Arriba y arriba!

Bibi Besche, Dallas

Genesis of the matter

14. And so does Dr. Carol Marcus. Can she analyze or can’t she?

Dallas, Russell Johnson


13. The Professor’s here too. But where was he when Julie Grey needed him?

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

The widow Ewing

12. Pam’s speech. Chills!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Wake up, darlin’

11. Sue Ellen’s nightmare. A dream-within-a-dream. Meta!

Dallas, Jenna Wade, Priscilla Beaulieu Presley

Post-Bobby Stress Syndrome

10. Jenna’s flashback. Hyper-meta!

Dack Rambo, Dallas

Ewing genes

9. Dack’s rambo. Talk about an Alaskan pipeline.

Dallas, Deborah Shelton, Mandy Winger

Super bowl

8. Mandy’s flush. Oh, honey. That’s not how you clean jewelry.

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Bag it, J.R.

7. “Phyllis, I’d like a cup of tea — a cup of herbal tea.” But hold the eggs and toast, please.

Cliff Barnes, John Beck, Ken Kercheval, Marc Singer, Mark Graison, Matt Cantrell, Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Dorothy and friends

6. South America. Pam, Cliff, Mark and Matt search for emeralds. It’s “Dallas’s” version of “The Wizard Oz.”

Dallas, Just Desserts, Linda Gray

Direct hit

5. “Just Desserts.” Victory!

Angelica Nero, Barbara Carrera, Dallas

“L” word

4. This hat. Even Katherine wouldn’t dare.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Cock of the walk

3. This mask. Who feathered J.R.?

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Next: The world!

2. Total control of Ewing Oil. Who has the heart to tell him it’s just a dream?

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy


1. Bobby’s back! His chest and arms too!

Why do you love “Dallas’s” ninth season? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: 18 Reasons to Love ‘Dallas’s’ Eighth Season

The middle

Middlin’ along

Dallas Decoder will soon begin critiquing the original show’s eighth season, which aired from 1984 to 1985. Here are 18 reasons to love it.

Side eye

Side eye

18. Whenever Pam throws shade. She does it a lot this season.

Metaphor much?

Metaphor much?

17. When Bobby stops wearing shades. Those things are as big as Southfork!

In good hands

In good hands with him

16. Dr. President David Palmer. Babe’s farmer shows up too.

Bitches be crazy

Bitches be crazy

15. This nut finally gets caught. Even better: She gets away.

Genus: Hipsterous precursorous

Genus: Hipsterous precursorous

14. Eddie’s wall of hats. Keep on trucking, dude.

Me, me, me

Me, me, me

13. Mandy’s wall of Mandy. Keep it classy, honey.

Be nice, J.R.

Be nice, J.R.

12. Jamie’s makeover. “What’s next? Are we going to cap her teeth?”

Poke an eye out!

Don’t poke out his eye

11. These lapels. All hail Sue Ellen, intergalactic space empress!

Never change, Ray

Never change, Ray

10. Ray’s workout gear. It’s also the outfit he wears to weddings, funerals, birthdays and bar mitzvahs.

Blonde ambition

Blonde ambition

9. This. I bet Jordan helped do her hair.

Groin show

Groin show

8. Sue Ellen’s parting shot. Who kneed J.R.?

Far out

Far out

7. Road trip! Best part of this storyline: Philip Chan guest stars as Edward Chan.


Stay. Please.

6. Jenna goes to jail. She also gets out. (Can’t have everything.)

Eat your heart out, Harv

Eat your heart out, Harv

5. Scotty Demarest. “It is a sy-lun-suh.”

Also: Schwing!


4. Cousin Jack. Best mole since Julie Grey’s.

Beats the sanitarium

Beats the sanitarium

3. “The Institute for Advanced Awareness.” Because if anyone needs their awareness advanced, it’s her.

Again with the metaphors

Again with the metaphors

2. We don’t like tomato juice either. But we never turn down eggs and toast.

Death is but a dream

Death is but a dream

1. “Swan Song.” Who cares if the last few scenes are a dream? This is “Dallas’s” finest hour. (Or its finest hour-and-a-half, if you want to get technical about it.)

Why do you love “Dallas’s” eighth season? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: 37 Reasons to Love ‘Dallas’

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Love to love them

“Dallas” debuted 37 years ago today. Here’s why we still love the Ewings.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal

Drive us crazy

37. “Digger’s Daughter.” Bobby marries Pam, Lucy and Ray take a roll in the hay and Jock calls J.R. a jackass. Could this show have gotten off to a better start?

Dallas, Southfork

Big house on the prairie

36. Southfork. To a lot of us, the white house on Braddock Road is more revered than the one on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing

Is blood thicker than liquor?

35. Bourbon and branch. Forget oil. This is what really fueled the Ewing empire.

Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing

Can’t touch this

34. Every time Jock asks for “a touch” of bourbon. Spoiler: It was always more than a touch.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

Stop or mom will shoot

33. “Ray, get me the shotgun out of the hall closet.” The quintessential Miss Ellie moment.

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Long walk

32. Pam’s middle screen during the opening credits. It never changed! For almost a decade, she never stopped crossing the Southfork lawn.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman


31. J.R.’s first visit to “Knots Landing.” J.R.: Hey, that is good. What do you call this? Valene: Tuna fish.

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby


30. Kristin Shepard. So much more than the answer to a trivia question.

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

About face

29. Sue Ellen’s 180s. No one does the slow, dramatic turn better.

Dallas, Who Shot J.R.

Clean scream

28. The cleaning lady who found J.R. Her reaction alone made it worth waiting eight months to find out who shot him.

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Moment of truth

27. “It was you, Kristin, who shot J.R.” The most famous line in “Dallas” history.

Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing

Daddy’s decree

26. “Real power is something you take.” Or maybe this is the show’s most famous line. Six words that encapsulate the Ewing creed.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

He sizzles

25. Breakfast on the patio. Would you like some insults with your bacon?

Afton Cooper, Audrey Landers, Dallas

Them pipes!

24. The musical stylings of Miss Afton Cooper. She can steal us away anytime she wants.

Dallas, Dallas Press

Bleeds it leads

23. Headlines like these. The editors of The Dallas Press: The only people more obsessed with the Ewings than we are.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Snake in the grass

22. “Hey, Ray. … You getting good mileage on Donna’s car?” So nice of him to be concerned, isn’t it?

Dallas, Donna Culver Krebbs, Susan Howard

Wind ’em up

21. Donna vs. Bonnie. “Dallas’s” best barroom brawl.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing

Will power

20. Daddy’s will. Pitting your hyper-competitive sons against each other in a yearlong battle for control of the family empire? Sounds like a plan!

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Watch out, wallpaper

19. “I’m going to drink myself into oblivion.” And she damn near did.


Paging KITT

18. The synthesized seventh-season theme music. We half expect Knight Rider to come roaring into the credits.

Bobby Ewing, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Eric Farlow, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Oh, that lighting!

17. Bradford May’s cinematography. The Ewings never looked as gorgeous as they did from 1983 to 1984.

Dallas, Larry Hagman, J.R. Ewing

J.R. Ewing here

16. The phone at the Oil Baron’s Club. Be careful with that thing or you’ll poke out Dora Mae’s eye!

Charlene Tilton, Christopher Atkins, Dallas, Lucy Ewing, Peter Richards

Yes, sparklers

15. Lucy’s modeling career. There’s nothing about this picture I don’t love.

Dallas, Katherine Wentworth, Morgan Brittany

Hat attack

14. Katherine Wentworth. How can you blame a gal for going a little nuts over Bobby Ewing? Also: the hats!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Turban renewal

13. When Sue Ellen changed into this outfit to go to the movies. What, you mean you didn’t wear something similar when you saw “Porky’s II” in 1984?

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Ken Kercheval

The best loser

12. Cliff Barnes. As essential to the “Dallas” mythology as any Ewing. Ken Kercheval is brilliant.

Dallas, Fern Fitzgerald, Marilee Stone

Drip drop

11. “Marilee, you all right, honey? Did it go up your nose?” Best pool dunking ever.

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Buzz kill

10. When Bobby flat lines, jolting Pam. Gets us every time.

Dallas, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

Who says cowboys don’t cry?

9. … And then when Ray loses it. Few things move me more than this moment.

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

What a dream

8. The dream season. Look, we love Bobby as much as anyone, but this is one of “Dallas’s” best years — especially where the leading ladies are concerned.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy

Mr. Clean

7. Bobby’s return. Was the dream explanation a cop-out? Sure, but who’s going to complain about seeing Patrick Duffy in the shower?

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

The long goodbye

6. Pam. Give the lady her due: Fans spent twice as long clamoring for her return as she spent on the show.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Omri Katz


5. “John Ross, this is Ewing Oil.” Chills.

Brad Pitt, Dallas, Randy

A star is born

4. Brad Pitt’s hair. Also: “Randy”!

Dallas, J.R.'s Masterpiece, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Woman of the hour

3. “J.R.’s Masterpiece.” Linda Gray’s tour de force. If you can watch this episode without bawling like a baby, you’re stronger than me.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Another star is born

2. “I am not my father!” Chills again!

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Forever our hero

1. Larry Hagman. How we loved this man. What an actor! What a guy! We’ll never stop missing him, and we’ll always be grateful he shared his gift with the world.

Why do you love “Dallas”? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.” 

The Dal-List: What’s In and What’s Out for ‘Dallas’ in 2015?

Dallas, Jesse Metcalfe, Jordana Brewster, Juan Pablo Di Pace, TNT

What does the new year hold for “Dallas” fans? Your guesses are as good as mine, but one thing is certain: Just because our favorite show isn’t returning in 2015 doesn’t mean we have nothing to look forward to. Here’s what Dallas Decoder’s crystal ball shows. What about yours?


In: Visitors

In: Cameos

Out: VIPs

Out: Chiefs

Guesting | Starring

Celebrating | Mourning

Hardcore fandom |
Casual viewing

Deleted scenes | New episodes

Dreaming up your own resolutions | Limbo

In: Saviors

In: Saviors

Out: Sinners

Out: Sinners

Have mercy, Jesus! |
Have mercy, Nicolas!

Live chatting | Live tweeting

Gratitude | Griping

Wands | Flasks

Cheap gas from everyone |
Cheap gas from the Ewings

In: Mothers

In: Matriarchs

Out: Madams

Out: Madams

More Shelly, please |
Less Judith, please

Ooh, what’s Jane wearing? |
Ooh, what’s Elena wearing?

Bust | Boom

#JRForever | #FarewellJR

“Next year in Dallas!” |
“Next year in Cuba!”

 Now it’s your turn. Share your ins and outs for 2015 below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: 36 Experiences Shared by Longtime ‘Dallas’ Fans

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Master of the universe

Remember when “Dallas” ruled the world? Here are 36 experiences shared by fans who’ve loved the show since its heyday.


Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy1. Getting together with the fam on Friday nights to watch the show.


Dallas, Dukes of Hazzard 2. Feeling excited when you saw this because it meant “Dallas” was up next.


Dallas, credits, theme, titles3. Getting chills when the “Dallas” theme music began. It didn’t matter how many times we’d heard it before, we always got chills.


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing4. Loving when these two fought.


Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal5. Loving when these two made up.


Barbara Bel Geddes, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, Miss Ellie Ewing6. Loving these two. Period.


Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing7. The highlight of each season premiere? Seeing how everyone’s split-screen would be updated.


Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Clayton Farlow, Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Howard Keel, J.R. Ewing, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow, Sue Ellen Ewing8. Wondering whose face would get covered by Leonard Katzman’s name at the end of each episode.


Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Kristin Shepard, Larry Hagman, Mary Crosby, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal9. Wondering who would get shot, blown up or soaked at the end of each season.


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Who Shot J.R.?10. Obsessing over this.


Dallas, TV Guide11. Hating summer.


Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Christopher Atkins, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Miss Ellie Ewing, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Peter Richards, Victoria Principal12. Covering your school folders with these.


Bobby Ewing, Cliff Barnes, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy13. Trying to trade your Cliff for a J.R. or Bobby. How come no one ever took us up on the offer?


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, shirt14. Dressing “Dallas.”


Dallas, J.R. Ewing Beer, J.R. Ewing's Private Stock15. Drinking “Dallas.”


Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Dallas game, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Lucy Ewing, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing, Victoria Principal16. Playing “Dallas.”


Dallas, Flip Out, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman17. Flipping out.


Dallas, 1980, Southfork18. Dreaming of visiting Southfork.


Dallas, Dallas cologne19. Wanting to smell like Southfork.


Bobby Ewing, Cliff Barnes, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, National Enquirer, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing, Victoria Principal20. Reading the National Enquirer to learn the latest spoilers.


Dallas, Dallas is Better than Dynasty, Dallas vs. Dynasty, Dynasty, Moldavian massacre21. Rolling your eyes whenever someone said “Dynasty” was better than “Dallas.”


Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Dallas: The Complete Ewing Family Saga, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Laura Van Wormer, Linda Gray, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal22. Devouring this book.


CBS, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, Thanksgiving Day parade23. Skipping NBC’s Thanksgiving Day parade coverage because CBS’s coverage was always hosted by the “Dallas” stars.


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, New York magazine, People, Sue Ellen Ewing, TV Guide24. Wondering why “Dallas” never did holiday episodes. At least we got to see the Ewings celebrate on magazine covers.


Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing25. Wondering why Barbara Bel Geddes won only one Emmy for playing Miss Ellie.


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman26. Wondering why Larry Hagman never won any Emmys for playing J.R.


Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing27. Worshipping Linda Gray.


Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy28. Crushing on Patrick Duffy.


Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal29. Crushing on Victoria Principal.


Beauty Principal, Body Principal, Dallas, Diet Principal, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal30. Wanting to have Victoria’s body, beauty and diet.


Dallas, Jhirmack, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal31. Washing your hair with Jhirmack because Victoria did.


Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, Justin boots32. Wearing Justin boots because Jim Davis did.


BVD underwear, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman33. Wearing BVDs because Larry did.


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman34. Hating J.R.? Nope. Never.


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman35. Just loving him.


Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman36. Always.

What are your favorite “Dallas” memories? Share them below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: Classic ‘Dallas’s’ 13 Most Harrowing Kidnappings

Ann Ewing, Boxed In, Brenda Strong, Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, TNT

Your turn, Annie

The Ewings discover Ann and Emma (Brenda Strong, Emma Bell) have been kidnapped in “Boxed In,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode. Fortunately, our favorite TV family has plenty of experience dealing with this kind of thing. Here’s a look at the 13 most harrowing kidnappings from the original series.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Greg Evigan, Lucy Ewing, Willie Gust

Far out!

13. Lucy (1978). When the Ewings refused to let Valene come to Lucy’s birthday party, Lucy ran away from Southfork and hitched a ride with Willie Gust (Greg Evigan) — and who can blame her? Willie had the tightest jeans, the most feathery hair and the grooviest custom van in Texas, right down to the wall-to-wall fake-fur carpeting. Too bad Willie was also a lunatic who ended up taking Lucy (Charlene Tilton) on a cross-Texas crime spree. Bobby rescued her, of course, but we never found out what happened to Willie. Was he really as psychotic as he seemed? Or were those jeans merely cutting off the circulation to his brain?

Dallas, John Ross Ewing

J.R. Duncan

12. John Ross (1979). Hey, remember when Sue Ellen nipped a little too much from her “special bottle” of Scope, escaped from the sanitarium, wrecked her car and gave birth to John Ross? And remember how Priscilla Duncan (Sheila Larken) quietly snatched the baby from the hospital? And then remember how happy we all were when Pam figured out what happened and reunited J.R. and Sue Ellen with their son? Well, hindsight being what it is, am I the only one who now thinks John Ross might have been better off with Ms. Duncan? Sure, she was nuts, but think of all the daddy issues the kid would’ve avoided.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Who shut up J.R.?

11. J.R. Ex-mobster Joseph Lombardi wanted answers when his son Nick Pearce plunged to his death after tussling with J.R. (Larry Hagman) on a high-rise balcony, so Lombardi sent his goons after our hero. They bound and gagged J.R. and brought him to a cheap motel, where Lombardi grilled him about the night Nick died. J.R. insisted it was all an accident — and fortunately Sue Ellen confirmed his account, prompting Lombardi to release him. It was cool to see Hagman act opposite the great Joseph Campanella, and we have to give Lombardi props for stand up to ol’ J.R. But would I want to see him kidnapped again? Fahgettaboudit.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy

Cuff him if you can

10. Bobby. “Dallas” has given us a lot of credibility-stretching storylines over the years (cough, cough Haleyville), but you know what I’ll never believe? I’ll never believe that Bobby James Ewing (Patrick Duffy) — that strapping, hunk of Grade A Texas beefcake — could be outmuscled by the clowns who kidnapped him during the middle of the show’s second season. For goodness sakes, Bobby is the kind of guy who can take on a barroom full of drunk cowboys and walk away without a scratch. The only thing more ridiculous than seeing him abducted is seeing the Ewings turn to Cliff Barnes to rescue him!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Darlin’ detained

9. Sue Ellen. Oh, for the love of Pete. Sue Ellen, what have you gone and done now? Did you really allow that creep B.D. Calhoun to slip you a mickey so he could photograph himself with you and send the pictures to J.R.? Didn’t you learn not to trust strange men during Pam’s dream the previous season? Actually, even though Sue Ellen should have known better, this subplot marked the beginning of a turning point in her marriage: Once J.R. vanquished Calhoun, he felt so bad about what happened to his family, he finally kicked that Winger tramp to the curb. Hmmm. On second thought, maybe Sue Ellen knew what she was doing all along.

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Welcome to the jungle

8. Pam. When an old back injury flared up during “Dallas’s” ninth season, Victoria Principal took a break from the show, leaving the writers scrambling to explain her absence. Their solution? Have Pam kidnapped by jungle mercenaries, of course! The subplot proves surprisingly effective, especially when we see Cliff’s determination to rescue his sister. (Their reunion after the bad guys release her is one of many great scenes between Principal and Ken Kercheval.) Looking back, I can’t help but wonder: Why couldn’t “Dallas” come up with a good storyline to explain Principal’s absence when she left the show for good two years later?

Dallas, Daniel Pilon, Jenna Wade, Priscilla Beaulieu Presley

Take her. Please.

7. Jenna. When Jenna (Priscilla Beaulieu Presley) fled Dallas on the day she was supposed to marry Bobby, she left behind a note that explained she had fallen in love with someone else and was running away. Except that wasn’t true: Jenna’s ex Renaldo Marchetta (Daniel Pilon) had kidnapped her and forced her to pen the letter to throw the Ewings off their trail. When this storyline aired during the winter and spring of 1985, I spent weeks on the edge of my seat, anxious to see how it would turn out. Little did I know things would end on such a tragic note, when Dreadful Jenna™ returned to Southfork. Oh, the humanity!

B.D. Calhoun, Dallas, Hunter von Leer, John Ross Ewing, Omri Katz

Captive audience

6. John Ross (1986). Here we go again. After B.D. Calhoun (Hunter von Leer) kidnapped and released Sue Ellen, he set his sights on John Ross (Omri Katz), J.R. and Sue Ellen’s son. Calhoun snatched the kid from a hotel pool in Los Angeles, where J.R. and Bobby sent their wives and boys to protect them from the threat Calhoun posed. The crazed mercenary forced little John Ross to make a hostage tape, which turned Sue Ellen into a blubbering mess when she watched it. Fear not, honey: The Ewing brothers eventually rescued John Ross, who would grow up to star alongside Emma Ryland in a much different kind of video.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Lucy Ewing

Gagged, reeling

5. Lucy (1982). Well, what do you know? Lucy’s been kidnapped yet again. This time, the culprit is Roger Larson, the photographer who helped turn her into Texas’s tiniest top model. Unlike most of the other kidnappings on this list, Roger didn’t abduct Lucy for ransom or revenge — he was obsessed with her. He kept the Ewing heiress locked in a room plastered with the pictures he took of her. (Do stalkers do this in real life, or only on TV?) Bobby and Pam eventually rescued Lucy, but not before Pam told off Roger in one of Principal’s best scenes. Gee, like Sue Ellen, maybe Lucy should’ve gotten kidnapped more often too.

Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, Valene Ewing

Feet first

4. Lucy (Early 1960s). Lucy’s first kidnapping is an integral part of “Dallas” lore. It’s mentioned in the first episode, when Lucy recalls how J.R.’s “old boys” snatched her from Valene’s arms when she was a baby and brought her to Southfork to be raised by Jock and Miss Ellie. We finally saw the kidnapping in a “Knots Landing” flashback, where we learned the ugly mess probably could’ve been prevented: No, I’m not referring to the fact that Lillimae refused to let Val (Joan Van Ark) into her shack when J.R.’s henchmen were chasing her. I’m talking about the fact Val was barefoot when she was trying to outrun them. Good grief, Val. Buy some shoes.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, Tyler Banks

Carry on

3. John Ross (1981). When Sue Ellen and John Ross went to live at the Southern Cross, J.R. was determined to get his boy back. He saw an opportunity when Sue Ellen took the child with her to Kristin’s funeral in New Mexico. Mother and son were gliding through a Love Field terminal when two of J.R.’s thugs approached. While one man distracted Sue Ellen, the other snatched the child. Suddenly, Dusty Farlow and a trio of Southern Cross cowboys swarmed the dude holding John Ross. “Give us the boy,” Dusty demanded — and of course the guy did. This might have been “Dallas’s” briefest abduction, but wasn’t it exciting!

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

Trunk show

2. Miss Ellie. Look everybody, Donna’s here! What’s wrong, Donna? You seem upset. What’s that, you say? Jessica called Dusty and told him Clayton’s wedding to Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) is off? And then Jessica knocked you out with the phone? And then she stole your car? And then she took Mama?! Geez, Donna, couldn’t you have given us that last bit of information first? No matter. Between Susan Howard’s pained delivery and Richard Lewis Warren’s tension-building score, the scene where the Ewings discover Mama has been abducted by loony tune Jessica is positively thrilling — even if Donna did bury the lede.

April Ewing, Dallas, Sheree J. Wilson

Grand theft auto

1. April. Every abduction on this list ends happily for the victim — except this one. The original “Dallas” kicked off its final season with the kidnapping of April (Sheree J. Wilson) during her Parisian honeymoon with Bobby. The storyline was a little complicated — the culprit was Hillary Taylor (Susan Lucci), a mystery woman who took April so she could assume her identity and make a big speech at an OPEC conference — and yet it was also a dramatic thrill ride. Fans expected Bobby to get his bride back by the time all was said and done — and so imagine our surprise when she was gunned down at the conference. It was a hell of a way to start the original show’s last season, telegraphing to the audience that this would be the year anything could happen on “Dallas” — and damn near did.

Which kidnapping did you find most harrowing on “Dallas”? Share your thoughts below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: Another 15 Reasons to Watch TNT’s ‘Dallas’

Dallas, Elena Ramos, John Ross Ewing, Jordana Brewster, Josh Henderson, TNT

Never take your eye off a Ewing

“Dallas” is back to finish its third season on TNT, beginning Monday, August 18. If Dallas Decoder’s earlier list didn’t persuade you to start watching this show, hopefully this one will.

Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, TNT

Reading is fundamental

15. “Dallas” is “Beach Read TV.” The world becomes a different place this time of year, don’t you think? Even when you’re not on vacation, you’ve mentally checked out, at least a little. That’s what makes “Dallas” the ideal summertime show. It’s pure entertainment, although it can also be surprisingly smart without getting too heavy. In other words: “Dallas” is the television equivalent of a great beach read. Dive in and let yourself get lost in it.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Cool down

14. “Dallas” will help you stay cool. Here’s another reason “Dallas” makes great summertime viewing. You know how eating spicy food in hot weather makes you sweat, which in turn helps you cool off? Well, “Dallas” essentially does the same thing. Don’t believe me? Then check out the picture at right and the one above. These are the kinds of scenes you get in every “Dallas” episode. If that doesn’t raise your perspiration levels, I don’t know what will.

Ann Ewing, Bobby Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, Patrick Duffy, TNT

Dynamic duo

13. Patrick Duffy and Brenda Strong are kicking ass. Of course, “Dallas” isn’t just sex and skin. This show also boasts one of prime time’s strongest ensembles, beginning with Duffy and Strong. The increasingly rocky marriage of their characters, Bobby and Ann Ewing, has become the stuff of great domestic drama, especially whenever he accuses her of lying. Don’t you want to be there when Ann finds out all the stuff Bobby’s been keeping from her?

Dallas, Juan Pablo Di Pace, Nicolas Trevino, TNT

The dark side

12. Juan Pablo Di Pace is on fire. When Di Pace showed up on “Dallas” earlier this year, his character, Nicolas Treviño, was a charming rapscallion. What a difference a half-season makes! Nicolas has gotten darker and more twisted — as Elena’s poor, punctured diaphragm would tell you. (If diaphragms could, you know, talk). It’s impressive to see how effectively Di Pace has altered his performance, turning that suave smile into something so sinister.

Dallas, Elena Ramos, Jordana Brewster, TNT

Read ’em all

11. “Dallas” has the world’s most passionate fans. I hope you enjoy reading Dallas Decoder, but this site isn’t the only game in town. You’ll find fun interviews at Dallas Fanzine, nifty graphics and insightful commentary at Dallas Divas Derby, and all-around excellent coverage at Ultimate Dallas, the granddaddy of “Dallas” fan sites. And that’s just to name a few! Only a great show like “Dallas” could inspire this kind of hardcore obsessiveness.

Dallas, Judith Light, Judith Ryland, TNT


10. If you like (blank), you’ll love “Dallas.” Our show has a lot in common with many of TV’s best dramas. Examples: Do you get a kick out of the twisty “Scandal”? You’ll go crazy for “Dallas,” which offers a steady stream of OMG! moments. Are you addicted to “Downton Abbey”? “Dallas” is pretty much the same show, but without the funny accents. Do you go gaga over the evil witches of “American Horror Story”? Good news! We’ve got one of those too.

AnnaLynne McCord, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Heather McCabe, Jesse Metcalfe, TNT

True romance

9. Jesse Metcalfe and AnnaLynne McCord are charming. “Dallas’s” most pleasant surprise this year? The pairing of Metcalfe and McCord’s characters, Christopher and Heather, whose down-to-earth romance has proven a nice antidote to the show’s wackier plotlines. Of course, this is “Dallas,” where couples rarely live happily ever after, so we probably shouldn’t get too attached to Christopher and Heather. Kinda like Metcalfe’s beard, which we still miss.

Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, TNT

So good, so bad

8. Emma is excellent! Do you love to hate a wicked witch? Oh, have we got one for you! Meet Emma Ryland, the home-wrecking hussy played to perfection by Emma Bell. It’s fun to hiss at the vixenish Emma whenever she slinks onto the screen, but don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling sorry for her. That’s because Bell never lets the audience forget that Emma is more damaged than evil. I mean, cut the gal some slack. She was raised by Judith, after all.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

It’s a party, Uncle Bobby

7. Every “Dallas” episode is a party. The only thing better than watching “Dallas” is watching it with your fellow fans. With Twitter, you can view the show live on Mondays while simultaneously tweeting about it with other “Dallas” diehards. Everyone comes together to OMG when John Ross outmaneuvers his rivals and LOL when Harris cracks wise about Judith. Each episode is a celebration, and who couldn’t use one of those on Monday nights?

Dallas, Harris Ryland, Mitch Pileggi, TNT

The chameleon

6. Mitch Pileggi is one of television’s most watchable actors. Pileggi has been entertaining us for years, and never more so than in his role as Harris Ryland, “Dallas’s” resident chameleon. Is Harris really carrying a torch for ex-wife Ann, or is he just trying to spite his controlling mama Judith? Is he really trying to help the CIA bring down the drug cartel, or does he have a trick up his sleeve? No one keeps us guessing like the awesome Pileggi.

Dallas, Julie Gonzalo, Pamela Rebecca Barnes Ewing, TNT

What’s next, darlin’?

5. Just say Julie! You know who else keeps “Dallas” fans on their toes? Julie Gonzalo, who plays irrepressible Pamela Rebecca Barnes Ewing. In three seasons, Pamela has been a desperate con artist, a bitch-on-wheels corporate tigress, a would-be mother devastated over the loss of her unborn children, and a hopeful wife who has no idea her husband is a cheat. What will be Pamela’s next role? I have no idea, but I know Gonzalo will nail it.

Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Elena Ramos, Jesse Metcalfe, John Ross Ewing, Jordana Brewster, Josh Henderson, TNT

Those jackets! Those boots!

4. Watch and be inspired. Not only will “Dallas” help you cool off, the show can also help you look cool. Part of the fun of watching “Dallas” is to see what the characters are wearing — and then recreating those looks in your own wardrobe. That’s easy to do, thanks to mega-talented costume designer Rachel Sage Kunin, who dresses the cast in clothing that’s aspirational yet accessible. Let “Dallas” show you how to dress like a million bucks without spending it.

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Shades of Gray

3. Linda Gray is amazing. As I’ve written before, Gray is great because she makes you feel everything her character, Sue Ellen, does. This season, we’ve experienced Sue Ellen’s joy when she outmaneuvered the governor, as well as her shame over her never-ending battle with the bottle. Will our heroine rise from the ashes of the Southfork fire? Maybe, maybe not. The only sure bet is that Gray will continue to dominate this series like no one else.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

The future has arrived

2. Josh Henderson is outstanding. The most thrilling part of “Dallas” this season? Watching Henderson become one of the most captivating actors on TV. His character, John Ross Ewing, is still struggling to escape the shadow of his legendary father J.R., and Henderson is rising to the occasion, delivering complex, absorbing performances. I have no doubt he has Emmys and Oscars in his future — and maybe a Grammy or two. (Dude can sing!)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT

Long live the king!

1. J.R. Ewing lives! We all miss Larry Hagman and “Dallas” will never be the same without him, but the new show is doing a splendid job preserving his memory. The spirit of J.R. lives through props like his wristwatch and painting, as well as those J.R. Ewing Bourbon bottles that keep popping up. Mostly, J.R.’s presence is felt through costars like Gray and Henderson, whose performances honor Hagman and the remarkable legacy he left behind.

Why do you watch TNT’s “Dallas”? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: 10 Reasons TNT Should Renew ‘Dallas’ (Again)

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Never turn your back on a Ewing

We’ll find out who survived the Southfork fire when “Dallas’s” third season resumes on Monday, August 18, but there’s an even bigger cliffhanger afoot: Will TNT give the series a fourth season? To ensure the cable channel’s executives make the right decision, here are 10 reasons TNT should renew “Dallas” again.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Watch like you mean it

10. “Dallas” is TNT’s most-watched show (right now). “Dallas’s” midseason cliffhanger episode clocked 2.1 million viewers on April 14, making it TNT’s most-watched regularly scheduled show last week. Only the cable channel’s NBA coverage performed better. One week earlier, “Dallas” finished first overall, besting basketball and the ever popular “Law & Order” reruns. TNT, surely you wouldn’t drop your top show at the moment!

Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Jesse Metcalfe, TNT

Audiences grow back too!

9. “Dallas’s” ratings are growing. Yes, we all know “Dallas’s” numbers dipped this year, but they’re bouncing back. Since March 17, when the show hit a series low of 1.78 million viewers, “Dallas’s” audience on Mondays at 9 p.m. has grown 15 percent, with that cliffhanger episode hitting 2.1 million viewers. This means for the past five consecutive weeks, the show’s numbers went up.  This is what’s known as “momentum,” TNT.

Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Jesse Metcalfe, TNT

Not that kind of hit, dude

8. “Dallas” is a DVR hit. Last season, roughly 800,000 DVR users recorded “Dallas” each Monday night and watched it within the next three days. This number has pretty much held steady this year, lifting “Dallas’s” Monday night average of 1.9 million viewers to 2.8 million viewers overall. This means “Dallas” has one of the most reliable DVR audiences in prime-time cable television. That’s nothing to skip over, TNT.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, Julie Gonzalo, Pamela Rebecca Barnes Ewing, TNT

Real. Love.

7. Adults love “Dallas.” This might be the most important number of all: “Dallas” is averaging 1.2 million adults between ages 25 and 54 (including DVR users). Why should you care? First, TNT targets 25-to-54-year-olds, so these are the viewers the channel cares about most. Second, last year, “Dallas” averaged 1.5 million 25-to-54-year-olds, so even though the show has declined overall, it’s held fairly steady with TNT’s favorite viewers.

Dallas, Elena Ramos, Jordana Brewster, TNT,

Who knew?

6. “Dallas” is TNT’s biggest show on social media. “Dallas” has 1.6 million Facebook “likes” and 88,800 Twitter followers — more than any other TNT series. In fact, TNT’s biggest hit, “Major Crimes,” has only 488,000 Facebook likes and 12,500 Twitter followers. That’s right: “Dallas” is three times as big as “Major Crimes” on Facebook and seven times as big on Twitter. Suck on that, “Major Crimes”! (Sorry, “Major Crimes.” Couldn’t resist.)

Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, Julie Gonzalo, Pamela Rebecca Barnes Ewing, TNT

Feel the heat

5. “Dallas” has buzz. “Dallas” raised a ruckus with that notorious three-way in the midseason cliffhanger, but the show has made its mark in other areas too. Entertainment Weekly went gaga over Judith Ryland’s coke-snorting scene, and on separate occasions, Judith and Sue Ellen each wound up near the center in EW’s weekly “Bullseye” feature. You know what show hasn’t hit EW’s “Bullseye” this year? “Major Crimes.” Just sayin’.

Ann Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, Harris Ryland, Mitch Pileggi, TNT

Love. Really?

4. Metacritic loves “Dallas.” From a creative standpoint, “Dallas” has never been better, but don’t take my word for it: Users at Metacritic, the online review aggregator, currently give the show’s third season a score of 8.6 (out of 10), up from a 6.7 for Season 2 and a 7.3 for Season 1. This means “Dallas” outranks the current cycles of “Scandal” (7.4), “The Walking Dead” (7.4), “Downton Abbey” (7.3) and, yes, “Major Crimes” (5.5).

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

A star is born

3. Two words: “Josh Henderson.” “Dallas” is blessed with one of the strongest acting ensembles on television, but this season, Henderson has emerged as first among equals. He’s delivering a remarkably complex performance, alternately making John Ross a source of scorn and sympathy. (Remind you of someone else we once knew?) Trust me: Henderson is going to be a big star someday. Hold on to him as long as you can, TNT.

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Always our darlin’

2. Two more words: “Linda Gray.” As much as we love everyone on “Dallas” — and we adore them all! — Gray is special. Our admiration for her knows no limits. Dare I suggest she’s the main reason most of us watch, DVR, tweet and Facebook the show? No one does a better job evoking the old Hagman magic, and if there’s any justice in the world, TNT will renew “Dallas” and campaign like hell to get Gray the Emmy she deserves.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy, TNT


1. If you don’t renew “Dallas,” Bobby Ewing will be pissed. And take our word for it: You don’t want him mad at you. Just ask Ann.







Why do you think TNT should renew “Dallas”? Share your thoughts below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: 31 Things That Happen When You Watch ‘Dallas’

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Mr. Cool

What happens when “Dallas” fans watch the show? Here are 31 experiences we all share when we tune in to TNT on Monday nights.

1. You settle into your comfiest chair with a pint of ice cream and/or a tall glass of wine and think, “It’s ‘Dallas’ night. Life is good.”

2. The teaser scene starts. If it features Josh Henderson, you reach for something to fan yourself.

3. The theme song begins and you get chills because it’s biologically impossible to not get excited when you hear this music.

4. You see the three-way split-screen opening credits. You feel joy.

5. Before the first commercial break, someone blackmails someone else. (Note: This will happen at least six more times before the episode ends.)

6. Sex!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

How does she do it?

7. Linda Gray appears and looks fantastic. You turn to the spouse/roommate/cat sitting next to you and say, “How does she manage to get more beautiful each week?”

8. The spouse/roommate/cat doesn’t make a peep because you’ve trained him/her/it to be completely silent when “Dallas” is on.

9. Is Sue Ellen blackmailing someone? Putting John Ross in his place? It doesn’t matter. Whatever she’s doing, you think, “Gray is totally crushing this scene.”

10. Someone mentions J.R. You smile and feel thankful for all the wonderful performances Larry Hagman gave us over the years.

11. Bobby (Patrick Duffy) calls John Ross “boy.” You realize you never get tired of hearing him do this.

12. Brenda Strong appears and you can’t help but wonder: Is Ann is going to shoot someone tonight?

13. Something happens in the storyline that doesn’t quite add up but you decide not to dwell on it because the rest of the show is So. Damn. Good.

14. You suddenly get a hankering for a Miller Lite. You’re not sure why.

15. You hop onto Twitter, read the cast’s tweets and feel impressed by how cool the actors are.

16. “Maybe I should buy a Microsoft Surface,” you think.

17. You notice how fantastic Jordana Brewster and Julie Gonzalo’s hair looks and wish Charles Yusko could style your hair too.

18. You see everyone’s amazing clothes and wonder if Rachel Sage Kunin would be willing to go shopping with you.

19. Nicolas appears. It occurs to you: Juan Pablo Di Pace is wearing too much clothing.

Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, TNT

Love to hate

20. Emma (Emma Bell) does something scandalous and you love it even though you pretend to hate her.

21. Harris (Mitch Pileggi) does something mean and you love it even though you pretend to hate him.

22. Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) doesn’t smile until Heather (AnnaLynne McCord) shows up but it’s OK because it’s the best smile ever and it’s always worth the wait.

23. Fracking!

24. Also: “Heritage!” “Tradition!” “Legacy!”

25. More sex.

26. Judith Light does something nuts.

27. The episode ends with a twist. You exclaim, “How did I not see that coming?!” followed by, “How is the show over already?!”

28. Once again, your spouse/roommate/cat knows better than to answer.

29. You think, “I can’t wait to read Dallas Decoder’s critique of this episode, which will probably be posted on Wednesday unless he’s busy in which case I’ll have to wait until Thursday.”

30. TNT plays the previews for next week’s show. You look at the nearest calendar and curse it because you have to wait seven whole days for another episode.

31. The closing credits end and TNT starts replaying the episode. You grab another pint of ice cream and/or refill your wineglass and start all over.

What did I overlook? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: Classic ‘Dallas’s’ 5 Hottest Rolls in the Hay

AnnaLynne McCord, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Heather, Jesse Metcalfe, Lifting the Veil


The only thing the Ewings love more than a dip in the pool is a roll in the hay. In “Lifting the Veil,” TNT’s most recent “Dallas” episode, Christopher and Heather (Jesse Metcalfe, AnnaLynne McCord) got romantic in the Southfork barn, continuing a tradition that goes back to “Dallas’s” earliest days. Here’s a look at the five hottest hayloft scenes from the original series.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, James Canning, Jimmy Monahan, Lucy Ewing, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Pammus interruptus

5. Lucy and Jimmy. Lucy (Charlene Tilton) was hot to trot for Camaro-driving Jimmy (James Canning) when he attended a Ewing Barbecue with his Uncle Digger. But as soon as she lured Jimmy to the hayloft, killjoy Pam arrived and told Jimmy he had to take Digger home before he drunkenly belted out any more verses to “The Yellow Rose of Texas” on the dance floor. Pam then hung around the hayloft for some alone time, which turned out be a big mistake: J.R. showed up and tried to mend fences with her, which ended in a different kind of hay roll for poor Pammy.

Dallas, Jenna Wade, Priscilla Beaulieu Presley, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

Power tools. Grrr.

4. Ray and Jenna. Not long after Jenna (Priscilla Beaulieu Presley) started shacking up with the newly divorced Ray (Steve Kanaly), she went roaming around his house and eventually wound up in the barn, where she found him doing manly Ray things. The next thing you knew, these two were undressing each other in one of the stables. Was it the sight of the shirtless Ray working with power tools that turned on Jenna? Or was this her way of thanking him for taking in her and her two bratty kids? We never found out. Maybe it’s better that way.

Dallas, Dusty Farlow, Jared Martin, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing


3. Sue Ellen and Dusty. Hey, look everyone: Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) is home from the sanitarium — and just in time for the annual Ewing Rodeo. Hooray! How is she going to celebrate her return to Southfork? Well, for starters, she’s going to tell off J.R.’s latest tramp, Mandy, and then she’s going to head over to the barn for a little extra-marital lovin’ of her own with Dusty (Jared Martin). Good plan, Sue Ellen! I suppose it’s kind of shocking to see this uptown lady cavorting in such a down-home setting, but let’s be honest: When Sue Ellen rolls in the hay, she makes it look classy.

Bethany Wright, Dallas, Dallas: The Early Years, J.R. Ewing, Kevin Wixted, Laurette

Virgin territory

2. J.R. and Laurette. “Dallas: The Early Years” is full of historic moments, but the biggest event of all might be when the teenaged J.R. (Kevin Wixted) loses his virginity to his poodle-skirted girlfriend Laurette (Bethany Wright) in the Southfork barn. It’s a kick to see J.R. learning how to charm a lady — he calls her “sugar” and brings along a bottle of beer to get her in the mood — and even though this isn’t exactly the kind of romantic setting we’re used to seeing our hero in, it beats that time he seduced a different floozy (cough, cough Afton) in his own marital bed.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Lucy Ewing, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

Head games

1. Lucy and Ray. “Dallas’s” first roll in the hay is still the kinkest — and the ickiest, in retrospect. On the day Bobby brought home his new bride Pam, Lucy was in the hayloft getting chummy with Ray, who was still carrying a torch for Pam, his ex-girlfriend. Naughty Lucy even made Ray call her by Pam’s name during their encounter, which is pretty darn twisted. Years later, the audience discovered Ray is Lucy’s uncle, which rendered their past relationship into the Storyline No One Dare Speak of Again. Maybe the producers forgot about it, but the fans never did. (Do we ever?)

What’s your favorite “Dallas” hayloft scene? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”