Things Ewings Say

Things Ewings Say copy

Don’t darlin’ her either

J.R. isn’t the only sharp-tongued Ewing on TNT’s “Dallas.” To help you prepare for tomorrow’s telecast of “Revelations,” the first-season finale, we offer this review of memorable lines from other characters.

• “Count your blessings, Christopher. Those two old geezers would still find a reason to fight.”

Lucy (Charlene Tilton), after her cousin announces J.R. and Cliff won’t be able to attend his wedding in “Changing of the Guard”

• “We ain’t family, bro.”

John Ross (Josh Henderson) to Christopher in “Hedging Your Bets”

• “OK, can we just go bake something?”

Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo), after failing to hit the target during shooting practice with Ann in “The Price You Pay”

• “Hair loss isn’t one of them, right?”

Bobby (Patrick Duffy), upon hearing his new medication has side effects in “The Price You Pay”

• “You got your daddy’s charm. Let’s hope you didn’t get his morals.”

Miss Henderson (Margaret Bowman), responding to John Ross’s sweet talk in “The Last Hurrah”

“He was dyslexic, not stupid.”

Elena (Jordana Brewster), responding to J.R.’s quip about John Ross’s childhood aversion to reading, in “The Last Hurrah”

“I know all the things Daddy used to say.”

Bobby, after J.R. quotes Jock for the umpteenth time, in “Truth and Consequences”

“I like your husband. And I always thought his brother was a prick.”

Harris (Mitch Pileggi), agreeing to Ann’s request to help Bobby by cancelling his contract with J.R. in “Truth and Consequences”

• “The people in Texas are way too friendly. It tries my nerves.”

Tommy (Callard Harris) in “The Enemy of My Enemy”

• “What now?”

John Ross, after Bobby and Christopher enter his room in “The Enemy of My Enemy”

“I’m sorry I threw up in your bathroom.”

Rebecca to Elena in “Collateral Damage”

“The first thing I thought was, ‘Yep, he’s his mama’s son.’”

Lucy, recalling the time she found John Ross drunk after he broke into the Southfork liquor cabinet as a child, in “Collateral Damage”

• “You’ve been writing more prescriptions than Michael Jackson’s doctor – which is odd, since all of your patients are dead.”

Sue Ellen (Linda Gray), blackmailing a medical examiner in “No Good Deed”

“If I catch you anywhere near Bobby’s room, I’ll shoot you. And since you have no heart, it’ll be somewhere more vital.”

Ann (Brenda Strong), chasing J.R. away from her ill husband in “Family Business”

What’s your favorite quote from “Dallas’s” first season? Share your choices below and read more features from Dallas Decoder.


  1. Just paraphrasing…”Don’t you have some cows to birth?” John Ross to Christopher.

    • That might be the best one of all!

      • That one was too funny. John Ross is becoming a bit more like J.R every episode. I can’t wait to see how ‘Ewing Energies’ pans out. Has a nice ring to it. Poor Bobby wants so hard to believe in it, but he’s seen too much through the years. If those kids only knew.

      • I know, right? Don’t these kids watch the “Dallas” reruns and see all the mistakes their parents made? Jeez!

      • LOL! John Ross and Christopher should have a long sit down chat with Lucy, she’ll fill them in on all the dirt and then some. One thing I noticed in the show, nobody is downing drinks. haha. Ann doesn’t allow cocktail hour? haha. They drank like fiends in the old one. I’d be passed out with all that liquor, and then driving around with no seatbelts, ahh the seventies and eighties!

      • Perhaps they misplaced the liquor cart when they remodeled Southfork.

  2. ” I am sorry I threw up in your bathroom” Liked that one!!

  3. Okay this is a Cliff Barnes quote– season 6 ep. 15. “Isn’t this ironic? No matter which way we go we wind up helping Bobby Ewing. How’s that for a bone in your throat?” LOL.

  4. “Think ahead, Sue Ellen. Think 25 or 30 years ahead. I won’t be here then. And the fight won’t be between J.R and Bobby, It’ll be between John Ross and Christopher. Think carefully Sue Ellen, your loyalty to your husband is a wonderful thing, but you’re a mother too. And where will this all end?”

    Wise words, Miss Ellie! It’s just beginning on Dallas 2012!


  1. […] thing you know, the name of that actress is gonna be Farrah Fawcett-Guzzler.” Oh, J.R.! Leave the pop culture references to Sue […]

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