Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘I Don’t Want to Feel This Way’

Poor Pam

Poor Pam

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “The Sweet Smell of Revenge,” Pam (Victoria Principal) is sitting in her bed at Dallas Memorial Hospital when Dr. Conrad (Gretchen Wyler) enters the room.

CONRAD: Mrs. Ewing? I’m Dr. Conrad. [Sits on the bed but Pam doesn’t look up] Perhaps you can tell me how you’re feeling right now.

PAM: [Makes eye contact, then looks away] Like nothing matters. Empty. Worthless. Like I’m dying or already dead.

CONRAD: I see. Where do you suppose these feelings come from?

PAM: [Makes eye contact, speaks sharply] I thought you were supposed to tell me that.

CONRAD: They’re your feelings.

PAM: [Looking away] I don’t know.

CONRAD: How long have you been feeling this way?

PAM: For a long time.

CONRAD: Do you know when the feelings began?

PAM: No. Not really. I think in one way, I’ve been feeling like this all the way back to when I was a little baby and –

CONRAD: And? What?

PAM: And my mother left me. [Angrily] Why did she do that? Leave a little baby? What did I do to deserve that? [Deflated] I’m sorry. I don’t mean that. I love my mother and it wasn’t her fault.

CONRAD: There’s always a lot of anger underneath any depression.

PAM: [Looks up, then away] You think I’m angry?

CONRAD: Well, I’m sure that wanting to stop the world and get off doesn’t come from feelings of sweetness and light. The important question is, what happened recently to arouse all those old feelings of hopelessness and futility? You have a good marriage, a loving husband, good job. You were feeling fine until just recently. And suddenly it all seems empty and futile. Why?

PAM: [Voice breaking] I don’t know why. I have these feelings and I don’t know why but I don’t want to feel this way anymore.

CONRAD: I know. That’s why we better start to find out why you do feel this way.

PAM: How do we do that?

CONRAD: Well, we might begin by trying to find out what it is in yourself that you’re trying so hard to kill off.


  1. […] does some of her finest work on “Dallas” in this episode – particularly in the scene where Dr. Conrad meets Pam after her suicide attempt. Principal goes through an emotional gamut here – from numbness to […]

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