Knots Landing Scene of the Day: ‘You Are Disgusting!’

Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, New Beginnings, Val Ewing


In “New Beginnings,” a fourth-season “Knots Landing” episode, Valene (Joan Van Ark) is seated behind the counter in a bookstore, signing a copy of her book for a customer (Rita Crafts).

VAL: There you go. [Slides the book across the counter]

CUSTOMER: I’ll bet you’re glad this day’s almost over.

VAL: [Smiles] Oh, no. Not really. I enjoy meeting people who buy my book.

CUSTOMER: Thank you.

The customer walks away as a man slides an open book in front of Val.

VAL: OK, how would you like that signed, sir?

She looks up and sees it’s J.R. (Larry Hagman).

J.R.: “To my favorite brother-in-law in the whole wide world.”

VAL: What are you doing here?

J.R.: Well, aren’t you going to sign it? I bought it fair and square, with the promise that you’d autograph it for me.

VAL: [Whispers] You are disgusting!

J.R.: [Looks around with mock concern] Come on, darlin’. Your public’s waiting. [She scribbles on the page, closes the book, slides it toward him and looks away.] Oh, thanks. [Examining her signature] Oh, that’s just wonderful. I’m going to stick this in my special collection of memorabilia. Right next to the knitting needles of Madame Defarge.

VAL: Leave me alone, J.R.

J.R.: Well, honey, what’s the rush? You know, it’s not often I get a chance to talk to a real, live celebrity. [Chuckles] You know, everybody said I’d hate what you wrote about us, but I don’t. I really don’t. And it’s nice having a best-selling authoress in the family. Especially since I own her publishing company.

VAL: You what?

J.R.: That’s right. Lock, stock and all the profits. I’m glad to keep it in the family. Oh, golly. I forgot. You’re on your way out of the family, aren’t you?

VAL: Well, you know what they say. Behind every cloud there’s a silver lining. Now would you please step aside because I’ve got paying customers to attend to. [Takes a book from someone else and smiles]

J.R.: Oh, of course. I’m looking forward to your new book. And just remember: I have first rights.

VAL: Yes, thank you.

As he walks away, the first customer approaches him.

CUSTOMER: Aren’t you J.R.?

J.R.: Yeah, that’s right.

CUSTOMER: Oh, would you sign this for me, please? [Hands him her book and a pen]

J.R.: Well, sure. [Looks at Val and shrugs] There you go.

CUSTOMER: Oh, thank you so much.

J.R.: My pleasure. [Chuckles]


  1. I haven’t been able to post anything lately…. But I got this scene via email and got such a laugh out of it. Great choice!

    God, I loved scenes between these two! The are so delish! I never tire of them. I am still so sad that we didn’t get to see them together on Dallas TNT… I would love to have seen what Cidre and co would have wrote for the two of them.. Plus Larry and Joan had incredible chemistry together! They sizzled together.

    He he… To my favorite brother in law in the entire world…….you are disgusting …. Lol I have not seen that scene in many years… But can still picture the hate/ disdain dripping from Val and the smirky charm from JR!!!


  1. […] scene really does nothing to advance the storyline in this episode, yet it’s still the most […]

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