
Chew on this
In “True Confessions,” a seventh-season “Dallas” episode, Edgar (Martin E. Brooks) approaches J.R. (Larry Hagman), who is seated in a French restaurant, eating.
J.R.: Oh, hello, Edgar. You were late so I decided to start without you.
EDGAR: I wouldn’t eat with you anyway. I’m only here because you demanded it.
J.R.: Well, I can appreciate your sentiments.
A waitress approaches.
WAITRESS: Would you like a drink first, or would you like to order now?
EDGAR: Neither, I’m not staying.
J.R.: The gentlemen’s pressed for time.
WAITRESS: Oh, that’s perfectly all right. [Walks away]
EDGAR: Well, what is it?
J.R.: [Coughs, sips a glass of wine, clears his throat] I think I’ve got a fishbone caught in my throat. Ahem. Let me see, what did I want to talk about? Oh, yeah. Um, I got to thinking, it’s getting very close to auction time for those offshore leases. [Begins cutting food] And it occurred to me, I ought to find out who I’m going to be bidding against. So who filed intention to bid? [He puts a forkful of food into his mouth and chews. Edgar is silent.] Edgar, who filed intention to bid?
EDGAR: Intentions to bid were filed by Westar, Four State, your company and Barnes/Wentworth.
J.R.: There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? My second question is: Who has actually placed bids? Which one of those?
EDGAR: Everyone bid but Westar, Barnes and Ewing.
J.R.: All right. Next, I want a phone call from you when Westar and Barnes make their bid. We’ll have a meeting and you tell me what the highest bid is — and I’ll hand you mine.
EDGAR: [Leans forward] I don’t see how you can live with yourself.
J.R.: Oh, it’s not hard. You’ll see. Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake. [Chuckles]