The Dallas Decoder Quiz: First-Season Follies

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy, TNT

Yes, we’re sure

TNT’s “Dallas” will begin its second season on Monday, January 28. Take this quiz to refresh your memory of Season 1. The correct answers appear at the end.

1. Which threesome controls the Southfork mineral rights?

a) J.R., Bobby and Gary

b) J.R., Bobby and Ray

c) John Ross, Christopher and Lucy

d) Jack, Janet and Chrissy

2. Which foursome owns Ewing Energies?

a) J.R., Bobby, John Ross and Christopher

b) Bobby, John Ross, Christopher and Elena

c) John Ross, Christopher, Elena and Cliff

d) John Ross, Christopher, Elena and Rebecca

3. Ann secretly recorded ex-husband Harris Ryland confessing to …

a) Counterfeiting

b) Money laundering

c) Murder

d) His commitment to a sanitarium in the early 1990s

Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Jesse Metcalfe, TNT

Wake up call

4. Christopher was shocked when he answered Tommy’s phone and heard whose voice?

a) John Ross

b) Cliff Barnes

c) Frank Ashkani, Cliff’s henchman

d) Becky Sutter, Tommy’s real sister

5. Christopher’s alternative energy technology relies on what natural resource?

a) Methane hydrate

b) Solar power

c) Wind power

d) Linda Gray’s fountain of youth

6. What did Bobby toss in the fireplace?

a) Ann’s locket

b) The Southfork deed

c) The envelope that Harris gave him

d) The painting hanging above it

7. What did Bobby tell Vicente Cano when he visited Southfork?

a) “Get the hell out of my house!”

b) “Help me put the living room and dining room back where they belong!”

c) “Help me birth this calf!”

d) “Wipe your feet!”

Dallas, Julie Gonzalo, Pamela Rebecca Barnes, Rebecca Sutter Ewing, TNT

Daughter of the Alamo

8. Who is Rebecca’s father?

a) Harris Ryland

b) Carlos del Sol

c) Cliff Barnes

d) Tommy’s Uncle Fred

9. What was the real name of the woman who impersonated Marta del Sol?

a) Andrea Barrett

b) Verna Ellers

c) Veronica Martinez

d) Ben Stivers

10. Why did Marta descend from the high-rise balcony?

a) She thought it would be faster than taking the elevator.

b) She jumped.

c) She was pushed by Vicente’s henchmen.

d) She was spooked by Julie Gray’s ghost.

11. Before he died, Elena’s father worked in what industry?

a) Oil

b) Ranching

c) Trucking

d) Cosmetics

Dallas, Elena Ramos, Jordana Brewster, TNT

Debt in the family

12. Who loaned Elena the money to buy the Henderson oil leases?

a) Harris Ryland

b) Vicente Cano

c) Franklin Horner

d) Sue Ellen

13. Who is Clyde Marshall?

a) J.R.’s lawyer

b) Bobby’s lawyer

c) John Ross’s private eye

d) The Dallas County sheriff

14. What is the name of the medical examiner that Sue Ellen blackmailed?

a) Dr. Bruce Rasmussen

b) Dr. Varun Rasmussen

c) Dr. Peyton Hayslip

d) Dr. Mitchell Ackerman

15. What is the full name of Patrick Duffy’s character?

a) Bobby James Ewing – and don’t let anyone tell you differently

Answers: 1) a. 2) b. 3) b. 4) d. 5) a. 6) c. 7) a. 8) c. 9) c. 10) c. 11) a. 12) d. 13) c. 14) b. 15) a.

How did you do? Share your score below and read more features from Dallas Decoder.

Things Ewings Say

Things Ewings Say copy

Don’t darlin’ her either

J.R. isn’t the only sharp-tongued Ewing on TNT’s “Dallas.” To help you prepare for tomorrow’s telecast of “Revelations,” the first-season finale, we offer this review of memorable lines from other characters.

• “Count your blessings, Christopher. Those two old geezers would still find a reason to fight.”

Lucy (Charlene Tilton), after her cousin announces J.R. and Cliff won’t be able to attend his wedding in “Changing of the Guard”

• “We ain’t family, bro.”

John Ross (Josh Henderson) to Christopher in “Hedging Your Bets”

• “OK, can we just go bake something?”

Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo), after failing to hit the target during shooting practice with Ann in “The Price You Pay”

• “Hair loss isn’t one of them, right?”

Bobby (Patrick Duffy), upon hearing his new medication has side effects in “The Price You Pay”

• “You got your daddy’s charm. Let’s hope you didn’t get his morals.”

Miss Henderson (Margaret Bowman), responding to John Ross’s sweet talk in “The Last Hurrah”

“He was dyslexic, not stupid.”

Elena (Jordana Brewster), responding to J.R.’s quip about John Ross’s childhood aversion to reading, in “The Last Hurrah”

“I know all the things Daddy used to say.”

Bobby, after J.R. quotes Jock for the umpteenth time, in “Truth and Consequences”

“I like your husband. And I always thought his brother was a prick.”

Harris (Mitch Pileggi), agreeing to Ann’s request to help Bobby by cancelling his contract with J.R. in “Truth and Consequences”

• “The people in Texas are way too friendly. It tries my nerves.”

Tommy (Callard Harris) in “The Enemy of My Enemy”

• “What now?”

John Ross, after Bobby and Christopher enter his room in “The Enemy of My Enemy”

“I’m sorry I threw up in your bathroom.”

Rebecca to Elena in “Collateral Damage”

“The first thing I thought was, ‘Yep, he’s his mama’s son.’”

Lucy, recalling the time she found John Ross drunk after he broke into the Southfork liquor cabinet as a child, in “Collateral Damage”

• “You’ve been writing more prescriptions than Michael Jackson’s doctor – which is odd, since all of your patients are dead.”

Sue Ellen (Linda Gray), blackmailing a medical examiner in “No Good Deed”

“If I catch you anywhere near Bobby’s room, I’ll shoot you. And since you have no heart, it’ll be somewhere more vital.”

Ann (Brenda Strong), chasing J.R. away from her ill husband in “Family Business”

What’s your favorite quote from “Dallas’s” first season? Share your choices below and read more features from Dallas Decoder.

Things Ewings Say (J.R. Edition)

Things Ewings Say (J.R. Edition) copy

Bullet-proof

If the first season of TNT’s “Dallas” taught us anything, it’s this: J.R. Ewing (Larry Hagman) still has a way with words. With “Revelations,” the eagerly awaited season finale two days away, here’s a look back at some of his best lines.

• “Son, the courts are for amateurs and the faint of heart.”

Responding to John Ross’s suggestion that he could win a legal fight with Bobby in “Changing of the Guard”

• “Son, never pass up a good chance to shut up.”

Imparting more wisdom to John Ross in “Hedging Your Bets”

• “I hate to hit a man below the belt, but you know I will.”

Threatening Mitch Lobell in “Hedging Your Bets”

• “Time has not been kind to that face.”

Upon seeing Cliff Barnes for the first time in many years in “The Price You Pay”

• “Bullets don’t seem to have much an effect on me, darlin’.”

Greeting a shotgun-wielding Ann in “The Price You Pay”

• “I’m going to tell you the truest thing my daddy ever told me: Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take.”

Quoting Jock to John Ross in “The Price You Pay”

• “Those people are not passing away because of old age. They’re trying to get away from the food.”

Describing the culinary options at his nursing home in “The Price You Pay”

• “That Mexican girl?”

Describing Elena in “The Last Hurrah”

• “Our girl is crazier than an outhouse rat.”

Describing Marta in “The Last Hurrah”

• “Are you really going to break bread with this lowlife?”

Upon learning Sue Ellen plans to have lunch with Cliff in “The Last Hurrah”

• “Well what fun would I get out of telling you that?”

His response when John Ross asks where he’s going in “Truth and Consequences”

• “For a chance to make money from me, Cliff Barnes would push his mama in a puddle of piranhas.”

Assessing his chances of joining Cliff’s high-stakes poker game in “The Enemy of My Enemy”

• “A cheated man is a dangerous man. Just ask my son.”

Describing Frank Ashkani in “Collateral Damage”

• “OK, I admit, I have lapses where I do wrong now and then.”

Offering Bobby the understatement of a lifetime in “Family Business”

What’s your favorite J.R. quote from “Dallas’s” first season? Share your choices below and read more features from Dallas Decoder.

‘Dallas’s’ Grand Opening

Dallas, opening credits, three-way split, title

Three, three, three

Here’s how I know “Dallas’s” opening credits are special: My husband Andrew never fast-forwards through them.

Andrew watches “Dallas” on DVD, which is how he has consumed a lot of other classic television over the years. With those other shows, whether it’s “Star Trek” or “Sex and the City,” Andrew almost never sits through the opening credits. As he puts it, once you’ve heard Captain Kirk explain the Enterprise’s five-year mission or seen Carrie Bradshaw get splashed by that bus, you really don’t need to experience it again.

For Andrew, “Dallas” is different. He says the title sequence is an essential part of the viewing experience because it puts you in the right frame of mind for each episode.

I agree, of course. For my money, “Dallas” title sequence is television’s all-time best. Jerrold Immel’s driving theme music is a huge part of the credits’ appeal, but so is the iconic three-way split screen used during most of the show’s run.

The sequence was designed by Wayne Fitzgerald, whose other credits include the opening titles for series such as “Matlock” and “Quincy” and movies like “The Godfather, Part II” and “Chinatown.”

“Dallas” is his masterpiece.

The scenes Fitzgerald chose are perfect because they depict the real-life Dallas in all its contradictory glory. He shows us how the city is big enough to host a major-league football team, but raw enough that tractors still roam its countryside. It’s home to glass skyscrapers and long stretches of highway, but it also has herds of cattle and soggy oil fields.

The three-way split screen is also ideal for the cast shots because it signals how multi-faceted the characters are. The images often change from season to season, but we usually see Linda Gray smiling nicely in one screen, while looking pensive and sultry in the other two. For several seasons, Patrick Duffy is depicted as a shirtless grimacer, a cowboy-hatted yelper and a butterfly-collared worrier.

Larry Hagman is usually all smiles in his screens — which is entirely appropriate, since J.R. grins whether he’s savoring a sweet victory or knifing an enemy in the back — while Victoria Principal’s middle screen is almost always that same shot of her walking across a Southfork pasture wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans.

“Dallas’s” titles carry other meanings too. I don’t think it’s a coincidence the shape of each actor’s middle screen suggests the sloped angles of an oil derrick. More obviously, the titles also let the audience know which actors and characters to invest in.

For example, we know it’s time to start paying closer attention to Sue Ellen and Ray when Linda Gray and Steve Kanaly are added to the credits at the beginning of the second season. Similarly, Ken Kercheval — like Gray and Kanaly, a regular from the beginning — finally gets the title-sequence treatment during the third season.

“Dallas” throws viewers for a loop toward the end of its run, when producers abandon the split-screen in favor of a single shots. Ho-hum. Producers also begin adding actors to the credits the moment they arrive on the show. It doesn’t feel like “Dallas.”

TNT apparently hasn’t decided how to handle the opening credits for its new “Dallas” series, which will debut in June. Jason Matheson, a Minneapolis TV and radio host and a huge “Dallas” fan, raised the question on Twitter last week, prompting a debate over whether TNT should revive the sliding split-screen or find a fresh design for the titles.

I’ll respect whatever decision TNT makes, but it would be a lot of fun to see a new version of those iconic titles.

After all, the classic “Dallas” had television’s grandest opening — and that’s not the kind of thing you close the door on lightly.

What’s your favorite part of “Dallas’s” opening credits? Share your comments below and read more features from Dallas Decoder.

TV Critics Had Little Love for the Ewings at First

Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Lucy Ewing, Miss Ellie Ewing, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal

What’s not to love?

Television critics never loved “Dallas” – especially in April 1978, when CBS introduced the series as a late-season replacement for “The Carol Burnett Show.”

The New York Times’ John J. O’Connor dismissed “Dallas” as a “daytime soap opera gussied up with on-location Texas settings.” He called the show “enervating” and made the curious observation it offered “innumerable scenes of people getting into, driving or getting out of cars.”

O’Connor also lamented how “the fine stage actress” Barbara Bel Geddes was relegated to “wandering around among the players with about three lines of dialogue,” and he described Charlene Tilton as “sulking sexily through was appears to be an audition for a remake of ‘Baby Doll.’”

According to Barbara A. Curran’s 2005 book “Dallas: The Complete Story of the World’s Favorite Prime-Time Soap,” the Hollywood trade publication Variety assailed “Dallas” as “dull and contrived,” “the TV equivalent of women’s-magazine fiction” and “a limited series with a limited future.”

The Associated Press was a bit kinder, praising CBS for filming “Dallas” in Texas. “[T]he look it gives the show was worth the effort,” wrote the wire service’s critic, who wasn’t given a byline.

This critic also pointed out how “Dallas” was conceived as a star vehicle for “a certain glamorous actress” – Linda Evans, although the review doesn’t name her – and suggested Larry Hagman stole the spotlight from Victoria Principal, who was cast as Pam after Evans was dropped from consideration.

“By far, the meatiest role, at least in the opener, goes to Hagman,” the AP’s critic wrote. “He is deliciously wicked as he attempts to reject Miss Principal from the family bosom by any foul means.”

In the Globe and Mail, a Canadian newspaper, Blaik Kirby declared Hagman “curls a lip better than anyone,” while the Los Angeles Times’ Cecil Smith asserted the actor’s “smiling villainy is the role you remember.”

Smith also praised Jim Davis’s “flinty ferocity,” but the critic bemoaned how “Dallas’s” first episode spent so much time introducing the characters and their backstories “that there isn’t much room for plot.”

Still, Smith saw some promise in the new series.

“[T]he scene is set,” he wrote, “for some very steamy drama to come on the arid Texas plains.”

What did you think of “Dallas” the first time you watched it? Share your comments below and read more features from Dallas Decoder.