
American gladiators
In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “The Split,” a helicopter lands on the football field at the Cotton Bowl. Dusty (Jared Martin) exits and walks toward J.R. (Larry Hagman).
DUSTY: Ewing.
J.R.: Well, that was a very impressive entrance. You looking to see if I had any troops stationed outside?
DUSTY: I didn’t come here to play games, Ewing. What is it you wanted?
J.R.: Well, we got almost 72,000 empty seats there. [Motioning toward Dusty’s cane] You sure you wouldn’t like to sit down?
DUSTY: Look, why don’t we just get on with it, huh?
J.R.: All right. I suppose you think I came here to ask you to give me my boy back.
DUSTY: Yeah, that had occurred to me. So don’t even bother.
J.R.: Well, actually, I came here to do you a service.
DUSTY: Really?
J.R.: Ever since I found out about your … your problem – at the trial – well, I’ve been thinking about you.
DUSTY: I don’t know why you should think about me at all. Except for the fact that your wife is living with me.
J.R.: Well, in a sense, I suppose that’s true – technically. But how long she’s going to be living with you under the circumstances, I wouldn’t make a hazard to guess.
DUSTY: [Smiles] You do like to get down in the dirt, don’t you?
J.R.: I find it advantageous at times, yes.
DUSTY: All right, let’s get this over with.
J.R.: All right. My wife – and she is still my wife – is a lady of very tempestuous moods. Mostly sexual. Now I can give you a rundown of the names of her lovers if you’re really interested but –
DUSTY: No, not at all.
J.R.: There is a point here. I don’t want to be so crude as to call her a nymphomaniac, but all while she and I were enjoying a very healthy relationship, she was out looking for more elsewhere.
DUSTY: [Walks toward J.R., stands close to him] You are a disgusting man, Ewing. You think I don’t realize what kind of cheap trick you’re pulling here?
J.R.: Maybe a trick. But it’s certainly the truth. Hasn’t it occurred to you? Now surely you remember how she was before your accident. My bet is that you could hardly keep her out of bed. [Dusty backhands him] How long do you think she’s going to stay with a sexual washout? Hell, she can’t go without it forever. [Dusty turns and begins walking way; as J.R. continues speaking, he steadily raises his voice.] Maybe she won’t have to. I’ve seen your daddy. Maybe she’s staying with you because she’s not going without it. There’s only one person who’s man enough to keep that lady happy and on the Southern Cross. [Shouting] And that sure as hell ain’t you. [Chuckles as Dusty stops and looks down.]





















