Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘I Finally Whipped J.R. Ewing’

Laugh while you can

Laugh while you can

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “Five Dollars a Barrel,” Cliff (Ken Kercheval) is seated on the edge of his office desk when J.R. (Larry Hagman) enters.

CLIFF: Come right in. Did you come to pay your note early? It’s not due until tomorrow.

J.R.: [Steps forward] You know why I’m here.

CLIFF: I just want to hear you say it.

J.R.: [Another step forward] I need that extension.

CLIFF: [Smiles] Do you? [Walks behind his desk, sits] Well, I’m a man of my word. I have the papers right here. Sit down. [J.R. walks to Cliff’s desk, sets his hat on it] It’s all right here. Ten-day extension, at $200 million, 25 percent. But first, my lawyer drew that up. [Hands J.R. a document] It gives me total and permanent ownership of Ewing 6. [Hands a pen to J.R., who retrieves one of his own from his jacket’s inner pocket] You know you’re only buying a temporary delay because the price of oil is still dropping. And when this 10-day extension is up, there’s no more time. You can’t pay, you’re out. [J.R. signs the paper, tosses it onto Cliff’s desk, grabs his hat and begins walking away.] I can’t believe it. After all these years, I finally whipped J.R. Ewing.

J.R. turns, glares and smiles slightly as Cliff laughs uproariously.

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 86 – ‘Five Dollars a Barrel’

Keep your grin up

Keep your grin up

In “Five Dollars a Barrel,” Cliff takes over J.R.’s bank note and offers him an extension on his loan – in exchange for ownership of the oilfield that split up Jock and Digger’s partnership decades earlier. J.R. all but laughs Cliff out of his office when he hears these terms. But by the end of the episode, with J.R.’s confidence fading, he goes to Cliff, hat in hand, and signs over the field to get the extension. “I can’t believe it,” Cliff says as he reclines in his chair. “After all these years, I finally whipped J.R. Ewing.”

It’s a measure of the power of the J.R. character that we don’t feel happy for Cliff at this moment. Quite the opposite. We feel sorry for him because we know he hasn’t whipped J.R. at all. This is a temporary defeat. J.R. is going to come roaring back – and when he does, he’s going to make Cliff pay for trying to humiliate him.

Watching Larry Hagman in this scene makes me appreciate how good he is, not that I need the reminder. When Ken Kercheval delivers Cliff’s line about “finally” whipping J.R., Hagman responds with a single, slight smile. It’s more unnerving – and oddly more satisfying – than any dialogue the writers might have come up with.

There’s also a lot of humor in “Five Dollars a Barrel,” and almost all of it flows from Hagman’s deadpan delivery. In the second act, J.R. is working at his desk when Sly buzzes him. “There’s a Mr. Cliff Barnes here to see you,” she announces. “Who?” J.R. responds.

In another scene, Ray arrives home after dropping off Donna at the airport and finds J.R. waiting for him in the yard, his boots propped up on the Krebbs’ patio table. “You getting good mileage on Donna’s car?” J.R. asks through a big grin.

It’s pretty remarkable that the same smile that seems so sinister at the end of the episode is so hilarious here – but that’s Larry Hagman’s genius.

Grade: A

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Splendor in the grass

Splendor in the grass

‘FIVE DOLLARS A BARREL’

Season 5, Episode 9

Airdate: December 4, 1981

Audience: 22 million homes, ranking 2nd in the weekly ratings

Writer: Leonard Katzman

Director: Irving J. Moore

Synopsis: Gary visits and gives his voting shares to Lucy, while Ray rejects J.R.’s offer to bail him out of his foundering deal. With the cartel’s help, Cliff takes over J.R.’s bank note and extends the deadline on his loan in exchange for ownership of one of the original Barnes-Ewing oilfields. Farraday agrees to sell Christopher to Bobby.

Cast: Robert Ackerman (Wade Luce), Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Peter Brandon (Greer), Lee de Broux (McCoy), J.R. Clark (Earl Holiday), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Art Hindle (Jeff Farraday), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Sally Kemp (Mrs. Rogers), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Jared Martin (Dusty Farlow), Leigh McCloskey (Dr. Mitch Cooper), Pamela Murphy (Marie), Dennis Patrick (Vaughn Leland), Priscilla Pointer (Rebecca Wentworth), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Ted Shackelford (Gary Ewing), Paul Sorensen (Andy Bradley), Don Starr (Jordan Lee), Robert Symonds (Martin Porter), Aggie Terry (Lori Rogers), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Cooper), Deborah Tranelli (Phyllis), David Tress (Walter Sher), Edward Winter (Dr. Frank Waring), Gretchen Wyler (Dr. Dagmara Conrad)

“Five Dollars a Barrel” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

The Dallas Decoder Interview: Howard Lakin

Howard Lakin

Howard Lakin penned several “Dallas” episodes as a freelancer in the early 1980s, then returned to the series as a writer and producer for its final three seasons. To my delight, he agreed to share his memories of working on the show, as well as his thoughts on the TNT revival.

You wrote some of my favorite “Dallas” episodes, beginning with “The Fourth Son,” the one where Ray discovers Jock is his father. What do you remember about making it?

Not too much, honestly. But my own dad was adopted so I’m sure I was able to find plenty of emotional traction in the Jock-Ray relationship. And I think that also might have been a factor later on when I got to plot the J.R.-Vanessa Beaumont-James Beaumont illegitimate son story.

That’s interesting. Did that happen a lot – your drawing on your own family experiences when writing for the Ewings?

In some of the subtle details, maybe. But not in any real core way.

How did it feel when you’d see “Written by Howard Lakin” appear on screen?

Funny to think back on it. But I was in my 20s during my first three-year stint as a freelance writer for “Dallas” and most of my close friends were not TV watchers. Even my wife wasn’t much of a TV watcher so it was kind of hard to muster up a feeling of self-importance when I saw my name onscreen! Although secretly … yeah, it was cool.

J.R. (Larry Hagman) in “Sunrise, Sunset”

Did you have favorite characters to write for?

Don’t know why this came to mind, but I remember this one scene I wrote for J.R. where he had to walk into a swimming pool fully clothed in order to cut a deal. [“Sunrise, Sunset” during Season 13 – Ed.] But when I saw the dailies, Larry Hagman had ad-libbed a kind of Texas strip tease before getting wet. Off came his hat slowly, off came his watch slowly, out came his wallet, almost seductively. Larry Hagman gave J.R. such character nuance that writing J.R. was fun; whatever I brought to the table, Larry made it better. That said, I also especially enjoyed writing Sue Ellen. Her long character trajectory was one of the most engaging to work on.

Any favorite “Dallas” episodes?

“Wedding Bell Blues” always pops into my head. It was the first “Dallas” episode I both wrote and produced and it marked a change for the show. “Dallas’s” ratings were being impacted by fresh new competition in the late 1980s. These new shows had a much faster pace and a lot more flash. [Producers] Len Katzman and Art Lewis both wanted to keep the show moving forward so it was agreed we’d try to change with the times. “Wedding Bell Blues” was the first step in the process. I guess the feeling at the time was that if we were going to grow old, it wasn’t going to be a rocking chair thing. We were going to take some chances and go down fighting.

J.R. and Cally (Hagman, Cathy Podewell) in “Wedding Bell Blues”

I love “Wedding Bell Blues”! That’s the episode where a storm strands everyone at Southfork on the night of J.R. and Cally’s wedding. It’s probably one of the most light-hearted “Dallas” episodes.

Larry Hagman directed the episode and really had fun with it.

Were there times you’d see one of your scenes after it was filmed and think, “Wow, that’s not how I envisioned it when I wrote it?”

Not really, not that I can remember. More credit to Len Katzman. He was that rare exec producer who came up the hard way, sweeping out sound stages as a teenager – I think I have that right – followed by decades of hands-on experience. He had a great grasp not just of his own job but he really understood the intricacies and elements of everyone else’s job. And in an industry that is known for “creative conflict,” he had a calming influence, it seemed, on everyone. This translated into a “no surprises” kind of show when it came time to look at the rough cut.

What was it like to work on “Dallas” toward the end of its run? It seems like a lot of fans are critical of the final years. What’s your response?

Instead of focusing on negatives, because in a weird way that just tarnishes the show’s overall reputation, I’d love to hear about some upbeat takeaways from the show’s later episodes now that 20-plus years have passed. What was fun, what made folks feel, what do they still remember with fondness, you know? After 20 years, it might be time to look back and re-visit the good stuff. Personally, having experienced both the glory years and the do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night years, I prefer the latter. CBS, Lorimar and Elvis had left the building. Len had won the right to bring the ship home all on his own and in terms of working conditions, it had the most relaxed vibe of any show I ever worked on.

Don and Sue Ellen (Ian McShane, Linda Gray) in “The Serpent’s Tooth”

Do you have a favorite storyline from those final years of the show? Something you think worked really well?

Off the top of my head, I think …well, I don’t know if these were the story lines that worked best but I really enjoyed crafting the three romances which featured Bobby-April, J.R.-Vanessa, and especially Sue Ellen and Don Lockwood because I was determined that Sue Ellen should have a powerful, positive walk-off ending. I really enjoyed Ian McShane. He was fun to work with and a cool dude – aside from being an awesome actor. Gayle Hunnicutt was a class act and a nice person to boot. And Sheree Wilson did a good job with the long romantic build-up and payoff in Paris with Patrick Duffy.

If the show had been renewed for a 15th season, do you have any idea what storylines you might have pursued? Any idea how the cliffhanger with J.R.’s “suicide” attempt would have been resolved?

I don’t remember any discussion of “what if” so I can’t help you there. If we had known there was going to be a 15th season, I doubt very much that the suicide storyline would have been used at all.

You’ve talked in past interviews about how every “Dallas” character reflected some facet of Leonard Katzman’s personality. Can you talk a little more about that?

It’s just my opinion. But here’s an example: Art Lewis and I would sit with Len for endless hours in his dark office, windows shut, stuffy as hell, hashing out stories. I would have mock arguments with Art, each of us taking the story choices in different directions. Len would just listen. More argument, Len would just listen. Ideas, ideas, how a character should react, what would Bobby do, whatever, then at some point Len would literally swivel in his chair so we couldn’t see his face – this could last for five seconds or two minutes. Then he’d swivel back and give us a satisfied smile and let us know which of our many ideas were correct according to the grid through which he saw the whole arc of the show. It was like he could slip into the skin of each character.

Any thoughts on what Mr. Katzman might make of the new TNT series? And what do you think of the show?

I definitely like the new show. It’s really remarkable how it remains true to the spirit and mythology of the original and yet adds all this new good stuff. Can’t speak for Len Katzman but I know he’d be very pleased with its success.

John Ross (Tyler Banks) in “Head of the Family”

It’s funny: One of the first episodes you wrote, “Head of the Family,” ends with little John Ross sitting in Jock’s chair at the head of the Southfork dinner table. It kind of predicts the whole TNT series!

Damn, I totally forgot about that.

You’re now a rare book dealer. How did that come about?

Showbiz, especially episodic work, is so adrenaline-driven that I really needed ways to chill. Before I got my MFA degree at UCLA film school, I got a degree in lit from Antioch College. Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy – read everything they wrote. Decided to collect their first editions. Built such a good collection that eventually it morphed into Lakin & Marley Rare Books here in San Francisco.

You just published a novel. What can you tell us about it?

It’s brand new, called “California Noir.” You can buy it on Amazon or ask for it at your local bookshop. It’s an emotional thriller, equal parts suspense and romance. Don’t want to do any spoilers so, in classic TV shorthand, think of it as “Dallas” meets “Casablanca,” a film noir novel that’s just as much a love story as it is a mystery to be solved.

Getting back to “Dallas:” The series has now spanned several decades. What do you think is the secret of its enduring appeal?

Live long enough and you can end up literally watching hundreds and hundreds of television series, many absolutely brilliant, most the usual re-mix or formula. “Dallas” is much more saga than series. Its narrative is expansive, and larger than life and convoluted in a good way. From my point of view, what makes it endure is also what makes it iconic. I mean, despite its oversized Texas storytelling, anti-heroic bluster and Dickensian cast of characters, there is still so much to care about on a human level and a whole lot of universality in how it deals with complex family love, family business and family conflict. That’s my take on it anyway.

Share your comments below and read more interviews from Dallas Decoder.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘You Do Like to Get Down in the Dirt’

American gladiators

American gladiators

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “The Split,” a helicopter lands on the football field at the Cotton Bowl. Dusty (Jared Martin) exits and walks toward J.R. (Larry Hagman).

DUSTY: Ewing.

J.R.: Well, that was a very impressive entrance. You looking to see if I had any troops stationed outside?

DUSTY: I didn’t come here to play games, Ewing. What is it you wanted?

J.R.: Well, we got almost 72,000 empty seats there. [Motioning toward Dusty’s cane] You sure you wouldn’t like to sit down?

DUSTY: Look, why don’t we just get on with it, huh?

J.R.: All right. I suppose you think I came here to ask you to give me my boy back.

DUSTY: Yeah, that had occurred to me. So don’t even bother.

J.R.: Well, actually, I came here to do you a service.

DUSTY: Really?

J.R.: Ever since I found out about your … your problem – at the trial – well, I’ve been thinking about you.

DUSTY: I don’t know why you should think about me at all. Except for the fact that your wife is living with me.

J.R.: Well, in a sense, I suppose that’s true – technically. But how long she’s going to be living with you under the circumstances, I wouldn’t make a hazard to guess.

DUSTY: [Smiles] You do like to get down in the dirt, don’t you?

J.R.: I find it advantageous at times, yes.

DUSTY: All right, let’s get this over with.

J.R.: All right. My wife – and she is still my wife – is a lady of very tempestuous moods. Mostly sexual. Now I can give you a rundown of the names of her lovers if you’re really interested but –

DUSTY: No, not at all.

J.R.: There is a point here. I don’t want to be so crude as to call her a nymphomaniac, but all while she and I were enjoying a very healthy relationship, she was out looking for more elsewhere.

DUSTY: [Walks toward J.R., stands close to him] You are a disgusting man, Ewing. You think I don’t realize what kind of cheap trick you’re pulling here?

J.R.: Maybe a trick. But it’s certainly the truth. Hasn’t it occurred to you? Now surely you remember how she was before your accident. My bet is that you could hardly keep her out of bed. [Dusty backhands him] How long do you think she’s going to stay with a sexual washout? Hell, she can’t go without it forever. [Dusty turns and begins walking way; as J.R. continues speaking, he steadily raises his voice.] Maybe she won’t have to. I’ve seen your daddy. Maybe she’s staying with you because she’s not going without it. There’s only one person who’s man enough to keep that lady happy and on the Southern Cross. [Shouting] And that sure as hell ain’t you. [Chuckles as Dusty stops and looks down.]

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 85 – ‘The Split’

Mind games

Mind games

Sending J.R. and Dusty to the Cotton Bowl for their big showdown at the end of “The Split” doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but who cares? The sequence is a logistical feat, and Larry Hagman and Jared Martin deliver terrific performances. This is one of those moments from the classic “Dallas” series that fans still talk about.

Leonard Katzman, who wrote and directed “The Split,” opens the scene with J.R. arriving at the stadium in his Mercedes. He drives through the gate, down the ramp and parks at the edge of the AstroTurf. This is the sort of thing Ewings can get away with. As J.R. gets out of his car and walks onto the field, we hear whirring, and then Katzman switches to a wide shot as Dusty’s helicopter floats in from the Dallas skyline and touches down on the 50-yard line.

The arrival is another example of how the Farlows are constantly one-upping the Ewings. Southfork is grand, but the Southern Cross is grander. Jock’s relationship with his sons is full of angst, while Clayton and Dusty get along just fine. One family spends years obsessing over the birth of their first grandson, and after he finally arrives, the other family ends up raising him.

Interestingly, J.R. doesn’t summon Dusty to the stadium because he wants him to turn over John Ross. No, this is about Sue Ellen. J.R. wants his wife back, and he knows to get her, he must first drive a wedge between her and Dusty. Why else does J.R. go to the trouble of insulting Dusty’s manhood and insinuating Sue Ellen and Clayton are sleeping together? This whole sequence is confirmation that J.R. still loves Sue Ellen.

As for the setting of the scene, the only reason to have it take place at the Cotton Bowl is for metaphorical value. J.R. and Dusty are a couple of gladiators, after all. And while I’m generally not a fan of excess – please note this site isn’t called “Dynasty Decoder” – there are times when big moments are called for. J.R.’s confrontation with the man who stole his woman is one such instance.

You also have to admire “Dallas” for going to all this trouble, as Martin recalls in Barbara A. Curran’s “Dallas: The Complete Story of the World’s Favorite Prime-Time Soap:”

“[T]he chopper had to arrive on time and touch down at the right spot, the light had to be constant, with no wind, Larry and I would be standing on the right spot, with the cameras rolling and in focus and if either actor came up dry all the elaborate step-by-step mechanics would need to be repeated – at great cost.”

TNT’s “Dallas” memorably paid tribute to Hagman and Martin’s scene at the end of its first episode, “Changing of the Guard,” when John Ross went to Cowboys Stadium to meet with Marta del Sol. Having those characters meet in that setting made no more sense than having J.R. meet Dusty at the Cotton Bowl.

But I loved it all the same.

Grade: A

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He'll take his wife, please

He’ll take his wife, please

‘THE SPLIT’

Season 5, Episode 8

Airdate: November 27, 1981

Audience: 23.5 million homes, ranking 2nd in the weekly ratings

Writer and Director: Leonard Katzman

Synopsis: Jock divides control of Ewing Oil among the family. Bobby decides against running for re-election. Donna’s book about Sam Culver is published, while Ray’s development deal hits a snag. Afton stops moonlighting for J.R. and spills his secrets to Cliff. J.R. tells Dusty he’ll never make Sue Ellen happy.

Cast: Bernard Behrens (Haskell), Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Art Hindle (Jeff Farraday), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Andy Jarrel (Neal Hart), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Audrey Landers (Afton Cooper), Leigh McCloskey (Mitch Cooper), Dennis Patrick (Vaughn Leland), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Ted Shackelford (Gary Ewing), Barbara Stock (Heather Wilson), Robert Symonds (Martin Porter), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Cooper), Deborah Tranelli (Phyllis), David Tress (Walter Sher), Joan Van Ark (Valene Ewing), H.M. Wynant (Edward Chapman), Gretchen Wyler (Dr. Dagmara Conrad)

“The Split” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

The Art of Dallas: ‘Blocked’

J.R. (Larry Hagman) gets shoved into the Southfork swimming pool in this 1981 publicity shot from “Blocked,” a fifth-season “Dallas” episode.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘No Deal, J.R.’

Don't box him in

Don’t box him in

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “Blocked,” Clayton (Howard Keel) arrives in a hotel suite for a meeting with J.R. (Larry Hagman).

J.R.: Well, I was beginning to think that you had changed your mind.

CLAYTON: I heard a lot of stories about you, J.R. I heard you were a snake – but I never realized just how low you’d sink.

J.R.: [Smiles] Did you come here to give me an evaluation of my character?

CLAYTON: No, J.R., I didn’t. I just want to know why you bought up all my crude – what your terms are so I can get back into business.

J.R.: Why don’t you have a little eye-opener. We can discuss this in a civilized manner.

CLAYTON: No, thank you. [Walks closer] And this is not a civilized situation. How much do you want for the oil?

J.R.: Oh, I think you’ll find my terms acceptable.

CLAYTON: You paid over market price. Otherwise you wouldn’t have got it. Now why would I find that acceptable?

J.R.: You have no choice. [Sits, smiles] See, I happen to know that you’re shutting down your refineries.

CLAYTON: You’ve invested a fortune trying to box me in. Why? Is it vengeance because I protected Sue Ellen?

J.R.: It’s business. Before I sell you a drop of my oil, I want Sue Ellen and John Ross off the Southern Cross ranch – away from you and your son.

CLAYTON: You’re holding my oil hostage in return for Sue Ellen?

J.R.: I don’t give a damn for Sue Ellen. I want my son back. And I’m willing to sell you that oil at the going market price – if you send those two packing.

CLAYTON: Then what? You think Sue Ellen’s going to return to Southfork? [Chuckles] She hates you so much she’d never do that.

J.R.: Well, Mr. Farlow, I know that woman a lot better than you do. She can’t make it on her own. Every time she runs away, it’s to another man. And what do you care anyway? [Rises, walks toward Clayton] With this deal you can keep your refineries open, your employees employed and not suffer any loss.

CLAYTON: No deal, J.R.

J.R.: Just how long do you think you’re going to be able to keep open?

CLAYTON: The terms you just offered me? Forever.

J.R.: She means nothing to you.

CLAYTON: You’re wrong. I respect her. And she means everything to my son. And the child belongs with her. [Turns and heads for the door]

J.R.: I’ll break you.

CLAYTON: Better men than you have tried it. No, J.R., you’re the one who’s going broke. I was late getting here because I stopped to find out the latest report on oil prices. Down almost a dollar a barrel and still falling. And you’re sitting on five million barrels. Now, your bankers are not going to be patient forever. [Reaches the door, stops, turns] By the time your daddy gets back from South America, there just might not be a Ewing Oil.

He exits, leaving J.R. looking worried.

Dallas Parallels: Fatal Falls

A beautiful woman feels mistreated by her Ewing lover. She is distressed, distraught, desperate. There’s a confrontation. Harsh words are exchanged. Before you know it, the woman has plunged to her death, leaving the police to sort out if this was a suicide or murder.

Sound familiar? This scenario has played out on “Dallas” more than once. More than twice, actually.

In the original show’s second-season episode “The Red File, Part 1,” J.R.’s ex-secretary and on-again/off-again mistress Julie Grey realizes he doesn’t love her, so she decides to give Cliff Barnes a copy of J.R.’s “red file,” which details his shady dealings with Jeb Ames and Willie Joe Garr. Dumb move, darlin’: When Jeb and Willie Joe find out what Julie’s up to, they show up at her apartment and chase her to the roof – and then they chase her off it.

Flash forward two seasons: In “Ewing-Gate,” Kristin Shepard, another of J.R.’s ex-mistresses/ex-secretaries, threatens to spill the beans about their secret love child if he doesn’t pay her more hush money. When J.R. refuses to give in to Kristin’s scheme, she shows up at Southfork and, after a confrontation with J.R., falls from the balcony and drowns in the swimming pool.

Now, flash forward three decades: In “Collateral Damage,” an episode of TNT’s “Dallas,” John Ross races to the high-rise hotel room of his ex-lover Marta del Sol, who has tricked him into believing she has kidnapped his girlfriend Elena. Once John Ross realizes this is a ruse, he leaves, passing two shadowy men on his way to the elevator. Marta ends up reaching the driveway before John Ross.

Echoes from both older episodes reverberate in the newer one. All three women feel used by the Ewing men in their lives, but they’re also victims of their own deceit: Julie secretly copied J.R.’s red file and Kristin fooled both J.R. and Jordan Lee into believing they fathered her child, while Marta cheated business partner Vicente Cano during their Southfork swindle.

There are other similarities: Marta dies at the hands of two men, just like Julie. The shot of Kristin’s dead body (in “Missing Heir,” the episode that follows “Ewing-Gate”) is creepily reminiscent of the haunting image of Marta’s bloodied corpse. The police briefly suspect J.R. killed Kristin, while John Ross is arrested for Marta’s murder.

Eventually, John Ross is cleared of wrongdoing, just like J.R. was in Kristin’s death. But did John Ross learn a lesson? Or like his daddy, will he continue to get involved with dangerous women? Most importantly: Will those women be smart enough to steer clear of heights?

 

‘What Do You Want?’

Baby daddy?

In “Ewing-Gate,” a fourth-season “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) walks into his office, followed by the visiting Kristin (Mary Crosby).

J.R.: What ill wind blew you into Dallas? I thought we had a deal. [Sits his briefcase on his desk]

KRISTIN: The baby’s just fine, J.R. Thank you for asking. He looks just like his daddy.

J.R.: [Turns to face her] What do you want?

KRISTIN: More.

J.R.: Do you now?

KRISTIN: I’m tired of your little monthly checks, J.R. I picked up some very expensive habits in California – and I want you to pay for them.

J.R.: This is not the time to try to negotiate with me, Kristin.

KRISTIN: Well, now I think it’s the perfect time. Judging from what I read in the papers, you’re making the headlines everywhere. Poor Jock and Miss Ellie. They must be shattered. Think of how they’d feel if they read about a paternity suit on top of everything else.

J.R.: All right, but you gotta give me time. I can’t pull too much out of the bank right now.

KRISTIN: Don’t take too long, J.R. I’m not very patient.

J.R.: You’ll be hearing from me real soon. Where can I call you?

KRISTIN: [Rises] I’ll call you, J.R. Somehow, I’d feel safer that way. Don’t take too long now. [Walks toward the door, stops, turns to face him] Oh, and give my love to Sue Ellen.

 

‘What the Hell Do You Want?’

Oh daddy, what a babe!

In “Collateral Damage,” TNT’s seventh “Dallas” episode, John Ross and Marta (Josh Henderson, Leonor Varela) argue in her hotel room.

MARTA: Vicente froze my bank accounts. I have no money. And I really need to get out of the country.

JOHN ROSS: How much?

MARTA: What?

JOHN ROSS: Money. How much money?

MARTA: I don’t want money.

JOHN ROSS: Then what the hell do you want?

MARTA: I want you to take responsibility. You got me into this. You need to help me!

JOHN ROSS: Marta, I’m here to find Elena. Where the hell is she? [She stares at him silently.] You don’t have her.

MARTA: It was the only way to get you here.

JOHN ROSS: You stole that phone.

MARTA: [Goes to him] You need to help me. Please, John Ross. Please. [He notices a camera in the corner.]

JOHN ROSS: [Pushing her away] You’re filming this? What did you think was going to happen here? What is wrong with you?

MARTA: I have earned what I have. I’ve earned my way out of the slums of Caracas.

JOHN ROSS: Congratulations.

MARTA: I need to watch out for myself. I thought we had that in common. But you’re just a spoiled boy. You’re not entitled to anything. Not me. Not your girlfriend’s love. Nothing.

What do you think of J.R. and John Ross’s entanglements with Julie, Kristin and Marta? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Parallels.”

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘I Guess It’s Going to Have to Be Me’

Focus, Mama!

Focus, Mama!

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “Little Boy Lost,” after the Southfork helicopter lands on the ranch’s lawn, Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) exits and walks swiftly toward the house, followed by J.R. (Larry Hagman).

J.R.: Mama? Say, Mama? Mama, what you all upset about? [She stops and faces him.] You haven’t said a word since we left the Southern Cross ranch.

ELLIE: You used me, J.R. And my love for John Ross. You intended to fly down with me and try to get him away all along, didn’t you?

J.R.: You can’t blame me for that, Mama. Not for trying to get my boy back.

ELLIE: I blame you for using other people to achieve your aims.

J.R.: [Tips back his hat] Mama, I’d do anything to get him away from Sue Ellen. She’s not exactly the most perfect wife and mother, you know. I don’t know what he’s being exposed to down there. She’s living in sin with a cowboy. Hell, he can hardly even walk.

ELLIE: Then why would she prefer him to you?

J.R.: Because she’s crazy! That’s why I want to get the boy back.

ELLIE: You want him back without Sue Ellen?

J.R.: Yes, I’d prefer that.

ELLIE: And what would you bring him back to? Being raised by nursemaids and tutors? Seeing you five minutes a day, if he’s awake when you finally get home?

J.R.: Well, I figured that you and Daddy could –

ELLIE: Could do what? Raise him for you? No, I’m too old to raise another grandchild.

J.R.: You sound like you don’t want him back here.

ELLIE: [Slight smile] That’s not fair, J.R. You know I want him here. But only if his mother’s with him. He needs his mother more than he needs you or me or his grandfather.

J.R.: I love him just as much as Sue Ellen does.

ELLIE: I know you do, J.R. But he belongs with her. There’s nothing in this world that would make me happier than if you brought John Ross back to Southfork – but only if Sue Ellen is with him. [Begins walking away, then turns to face him] I saw a part of you I didn’t like very much today, J.R. In the past, I’ve put up with your games and tricks. I’ve even closed my eyes to some of them. But no more. As long as your daddy isn’t here, I guess it’s going to have to be me that has to keep an eye on you. [Turns and walks away]

Dallas Parallels: ‘Power’ Tips

Few moments during TNT’s first “Dallas” season made me smile as much as the scene where J.R. tells John Ross, “Real power is something you take.” This was more than a great line – it was also a tribute to one of the old show’s classic sequences.

In the fourth-season episode “Executive Wife,” Bobby storms into the Cattleman’s Club and interrupts Jock’s lunch with J.R. and a couple of their buddies. The youngest Ewing son is furious because he just discovered Jock yanked millions of dollars out of the Ewing Oil coffers without telling him, even though Bobby is supposed to be running the business while J.R. recuperates from his shooting.

“You gave me the power to run that company, and damn it, I intend to run it,” Bobby fumes.

“So I gave you power, huh?” Jock huffs. “Well, let me tell you something, boy. If I did give you power, you got nothing. Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take!”

Flash forward three decades: In the TNT episode “The Price You Pay,” J.R. delivers the “real power” line during a clandestine meeting with John Ross at Southfork, where father and son are secretly plotting to steal the ranch from Bobby. J.R. calls it the “truest thing” his daddy ever told him. (Technically Jock told Bobby, but let’s not quibble.)

In addition to evoking Jock’s philosophy, the new scene is staged a lot like the old one. Director Michael M. Robin looks over Josh Henderson’s shoulder when he films Larry Hagman, just as Leonard Katzman shot Jim Davis while looking over Patrick Duffy’s shoulder.

But ultimately, the differences between the scenes are more revealing than the similarities. Jock delivers his “real power” line with characteristic bluntness while standing in a public space, reflecting his unapologetic, tell-it-like-it-is style. Jock was barracuda in business – and he didn’t care who knew it.

J.R. is much more cunning. He plots against his enemies behind their backs, so he shares his “real power” tip with John Ross while they are alone, shrouded in the darkness of J.R.’s bedroom. Even J.R.’s wardrobe reflects his deceptive style: He wears a cardigan sweater because he wants to give everyone the impression he’s become warm and fuzzy in old age. (Ha!)

Of course, regardless of whether the words are yelled or whispered, they still mean the same thing. Jock and J.R. are both demanding fathers who only want the best for their sons. By telling them to go out into the world and seize power for themselves, the fathers are letting the sons know they care.

It’s a tough message and it’s tough love, but it’s love nonetheless. Would the Ewings have it any other way?

 

‘Nobody Gives You Power …’

Like daddy …

In “Executive Wife,” a fourth-season “Dallas” episode, Bobby (Patrick Duffy) enters the Cattlemen’s Club and begins questioning J.R. (Larry Hagman) about Jock’s business deal, while Jock (Jim Davis) looks on.

JOCK: Now, you just hold on Bobby. J.R. don’t discuss my business with you or anybody else unless I tell him. You understand?

BOBBY: OK Daddy, then why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you think I should know?

JOCK: I was gonna tell you tonight.

BOBBY: Tonight? I want those kind of things discussed with me before you act, not after. Your dealing behind my back is making me look like a fool.

JOCK: Now just what the hell are you talking about?

BOBBY: I called Les at the bank and asked him to transfer $12 million from the account.

JOCK: So what? We’ve got 100 times that much.

BOBBY: I’m talking liquid assets. Cash, Daddy, cash – and we don’t have that amount. And you know why? Because you took $10 million.

JOCK: [Rises from his seat, faces Bobby] You damn right I took it. It’s mine.

BOBBY: That money belongs to Ewing Oil.

JOCK: And who in the hell do you think Ewing Oil is? It’s me! Ewing Oil belongs to me and don’t you forget it, boy.

BOBBY: And you gave me Ewing Oil to run, in writing. And that makes you obliged to consult me before you do anything that concerns that company.

JOCK: Obliged? You’re telling me that I’m obliged to ask you how to spend my own money any damn way I see fit?

BOBBY: That’s right. You gave me the power to run that company, and damn it, I intend to run it.

JOCK: So I gave you power, huh? Well, let me tell you something, boy. If I did give you power, you got nothing. Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take.

BOBBY: Well, I’m gonna remember that.

JOCK: You do that.

Bobby walks away.

 

‘… Real Power is Something You Take’

… like son

In “The Price You Pay,” TNT’s third “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) shows John Ross (Josh Henderson) the leather-bound diary he uncovered in the Southfork storage barn.

J.R.: Time to get your hands dirty, son. [He hands him the diary.]

JOHN ROSS: What’s this?

J.R.: All my mama’s secrets. And you’re about to use them to get the Southfork deal moving. Your Uncle Bobby’s going to find out that you are my son, tip to tail.

JOHN ROSS: What do I have to do?

J.R.: You up for it?

JOHN ROSS: Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.

J.R.: Well, I’m going to tell you the truest thing my daddy ever told me: Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take.

What do you think of Jock and J.R.’s philosophy on “real power?” Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Parallels.”