
No stairway to heaven
In “Things Ain’t Goin’ Too Good at Southfork,” a sixth-season “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) enters Southfork and heads toward the stairs, unaware a drunken Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) is waiting for him in the living room.
SUE ELLEN: You bastard! You finally came home. [Sips from her glass, pours another]
J.R.: You’ve decided to come back to Southfork, I’m happy to see. [Enters the living room, sets his car keys on a table]
SUE ELLEN: [Glares at him] Not because I wanted to.
J.R.: I was so worried about you, Sue Ellen.
SUE ELLEN: When were you the most worried? Before or after you made love to Holly Harwood?
J.R.: Sue Ellen, just because you may have seen my car in front of her house doesn’t mean anything happened.
SUE ELLEN: [Guffaws] Your car? You think this has anything to do with your car? I saw you and Holly in bed.
J.R.: You couldn’t have.
SUE ELLEN: Why not, because you didn’t see me? No, because you were too damn busy doing other things to see anything. [Begins to cry]
J.R.: [Steps forward] Sue Ellen, don’t fly off the handle. I can explain all of this.
SUE ELLEN: [Swats at him] Don’t you touch me!
J.R.: Darlin’. …
She tosses her drink in his face, grabs his keys and runs out of the room as Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) comes down the stairs.
ELLIE: Sue Ellen!
J.R.: [Rushing into the foyer] Sue Ellen!
ELLIE: Well, you’ve destroyed her again. Don’t you ever learn?