TNT’s Dallas Styles: ‘Like a Bad Penny’

Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, Jesse Metcalfe, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, Julie Gonzalo, Like a Bad Penny, Linda Gray, Pamela Rebecca Barnes Ewing, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

I knew I’d found my look of the week the moment Pamela turned up in that black-and-white dress in “Like a Bad Penny,” “Dallas’s” latest episode. The dress was a brilliant choice for Julie Gonzalo’s character for many reasons, beginning with its symbolic value: Pamela increasingly reminds fans of her mother-in-law Sue Ellen, who long ago made black-and-white outfits one of her signature looks.

Pamela’s dress, a Stella McCartney design, is a work of art: It features a rounded neck, long sleeves and contrasting panels that create a sexy, hourglass illusion. I also love how Gonzalo moved in it: The first time we saw her wearing it, when Pamela and John Ross turned the corner and came down the hall in the Las Vegas hotel, notice how Gonzalo sashayed. She looked so striking, I’m surprised the show didn’t give her a bigger entrance; if ever a scene called for a dramatic, slow-motion walk, this was it.

The dress was costume designer Rachel Sage Kunin’s pièce de résistance in “Like a Bad Penny,” but let’s also hear it for hair stylist Charles Yusko, who once again showed off Pamela’s emerald earrings without putting her hair up. Instead, Gonzalo’s hair was swept back; it reminded me of one of Victoria Principal’s styles on the original “Dallas.” The dress may have been Sue Ellen, but the hair was Aunt Pam.

Not to be “out-blinged,” Josh Henderson sported a nifty tie tack and cuff links during the Las Vegas scenes, along with the much-loved J.R. wristwatch, which boomeranged back to him after he gambled it away. I also loved Emma Bell’s red, multi-zippered coat; it wasn’t a traditional trench coat, but it still made an ideal accessory for Emma, who went Nancy Drew on us and started snooping into her father’s scheme against John Ross. I also want to give one more nod to Jesse Metcalfe’s beard, which is slated to go away during next week’s midseason finale. Sigh.

Finally, a few thoughts on the sanitarium stylings of Sue Ellen Ewing. She spent much of this episode in a gray T-shirt and seemed to wear very little makeup, which allowed us to focus on Linda Gray’s moving, heartfelt performance. And yet Sue Ellen remained beautiful nonetheless. If there’s a lesson here, it’s this: Even when she’s wearing nothing more than a simple tee, Linda Gray still looks amazing.

What were your favorite looks in “Like a Bad Penny”? Share your thoughts in the comments section below and read more “Dallas Styles.”

Dallas Drinks: The Nicolas

To honor Juan Pablo Di Pace’s performance on TNT’s “Dallas,” Dallas Decoder and Cook In/Dine Out offer a Nicolas Treviño-inspired “Dallas Drinks” cocktail.

Dallas, Juan Pablo Di Pace, Nicolas Trevino, TNT

Say What?! This Week’s Best Dallas Sound Bites

“Dallas” delivers the most delicious dialogue on television. Here are the best sound bites from “Like a Bad Penny,” this week’s episode.

Dallas, Fran Kranz, Hunter McKay, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, Juan Pablo Di Pace, Like a Bad Penny, Mitch Pileggi, Nicolas Trevino, TNT

What are your favorite lines from “Like a Bad Penny”? Share them below and read more “Say What?!”

TNT’s Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘Nice Hand, Your Highness’

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, Like a Bad Penny, TNT

Poker face

In “Like a Bad Penny,” a third-season “Dallas” episode, John Ross (Josh Henderson) sits at a card table with Sheik Ali and his son, Nasir (Pej Vahdat).

NASIR: You don’t have enough to cover the raise.

JOHN ROSS: [Pushes his chips to the center of the table, begins to unfasten his watch, lays it down] My father’s watch. One of two things he left me when he died. He wanted me to carry out his legacy, be the man he taught me to be. If my father was king, this watch would be his crown — the symbol of everything he was. I call. [The sheik and other players fold. Nasir reveals his hand: a full house. John Ross peeks at his hand, which trumps Nasir’s, but John Ross leaves his cards face down.] Nice hand, your highness. [Turns to the sheik.] I thought by leaving you out of the Arctic-lease play, I was showing everybody that I could close a deal that not even my father could close on his own. I lost sight of the fact that, well, he made you a promise, and that promise meant more than any deal on the table. A person’s word defines who they are, and I disgraced myself, my father and you by not following through with his promise. And I can only hope to be worthy one day of the legacy that he left me. Thanks for the game. [The sheik nods, John Ross rises and walks away with Pamela in tow.]

Critique: TNT’s ‘Dallas’ Episode 32 — ‘Like a Bad Penny’

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, Like a Bad Penny, TNT

Not afraid to lose

John Ross has never reminded me of J.R. as much as he does in “Like a Bad Penny.” To salvage a botched business deal with a powerful sheik, John Ross competes against him in a high-stakes poker game and deliberately loses, even though it means gambling away his prized “J.R.” wristwatch. Except the watch is never really at risk, is it? John Ross bets that by humbling himself in the sheik’s presence, he’ll win the man’s approval and eventually recover the timepiece, which is precisely what happens at the end of the episode. Could J.R. have played it any better?

At every turn in “Like a Bad Penny,” Josh Henderson evokes a little of the old Hagman magic. After John Ross throws the game and surrenders the watch, he offers the sheik a J.R.-esque, fake-sincere apology for bungling the deal in the first place. Then, John Ross huddles privately with Pamela and hints his defeat is part of a bigger scheme. This is the kind of conversation J.R. used to have with Sly on the original “Dallas”; whenever the chips were down, he’d let his loyal secretary — and by extension, the audience — know he had one more trick up his sleeve. John Ross does something similar here by offering Pamela a sly grin and a nugget of J.R.-style wisdom: “Sometimes the only way to win is to show the other person you’re not afraid to lose.”

Sure enough, in “Like a Bad Penny’s” most satisfying scene, the sheik’s son Nasir comes to Southfork, tells John Ross the sheik wants to do business with him after all — and returns the wristwatch. This is a poignant moment because it gets to the conflict brewing within John Ross. Earlier, when he loses the watch, he expresses his relief to Pamela, saying he wants to his “own man, instead of the man everybody else wants me to be.” John Ross seems sincere in that scene, but you can also see how happy he is when he gets the watch back and hears Nasir say, “My father saw J.R. in you.” I can’t help but feel sympathy for John Ross: He desperately wants to escape J.R.’s shadow, but he’s also as desperate as ever to make his father proud. (I also have to wonder: What kind of snow job did J.R. pull on his old friend the sheik to make him think he was such an upstanding, honorable businessman?)

I’m less enthralled with this episode’s depiction of Pamela. If John Ross is the “new” J.R., is she doomed to fulfill Sue Ellen’s old role of the subservient wife? Despite all the “us against the world” talk between John Ross and Pamela at the top of the hour, she’s relegated to the background during the big poker scene. Even worse, she’s still in the dark about her husband’s affair with Emma. (At this point, who doesn’t know John Ross and Emma are sleeping together?) Also worth mentioning: While John Ross eventually reclaims his watch, Pamela doesn’t get back her emerald earrings, which she puts up as collateral so he can enter the card game. It’s just like the old days, when Sue Ellen always seemed to pay the price for J.R.’s transgressions.

But not all the Sue Ellen/Pamela parallels are lamentable: In the poker scene, I love how costume designer Rachel Sage Kunin puts Julie Gonzalo in that spectacular black-and-white dress, evoking one of Linda Gray’s signature looks. Speaking of Gray: She’s very moving in Sue Ellen’s sanitarium scenes, although it’s hard to see the character slip back into her bad, old habits. During her conversation with Ann, Sue Ellen blames J.R.’s cheating for turning her into an alcoholic, which suggests she has forgotten all the lessons she learned during the original series about taking responsibility for her own life. Bobby also falls back into an old pattern when he insists on taking Sue Ellen home to Southfork over the objections of her doctor. This lapse I don’t mind, though, because the Ewings’ insistence on taking care of their own has always been one of “Dallas’s” charms.

“Like a Bad Penny,” the first “Dallas” script from Pierluigi D. Cothran, is directed by Millicent Shelton, who previously helmed “Trust Me,” the episode that brought back Judith Ryland in such memorable fashion. There are no coke-snorting shockers here, although it is kind of surprising to see “Dallas” adding more characters. Besides introducing Nasir, the sheik’s son, this episode brings back Drew; the Mexican drug lord Luis; and Hunter, the mysterious McKay offspring who surfaced in “Like Father, Like Son.” I recognize “Dallas” needs newcomers to interact with the core cast, but I would’ve preferred the show devote more attention to Sue Ellen’s sanitarium stay or to Elena, who needs clarity. She doesn’t mind lying to Christopher about Nicolas’s identity, but she refuses to show Pamela the video of John Ross and Emma? And can someone explain why both Ramos siblings blame the whole Ewing family for J.R.’s sins against their father?

I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m being overly critical, because there’s a lot about this episode to admire. Christopher’s entanglement with Heather and Bo has turned into one of the third season’s most effective storylines: The McCabes bring a touch of working-class humanity to the show, helping to keep it grounded, and all of the actors are doing good work. I also get a kick out of Emma’s investigation into Harris’s shenanigans in “Like a Bad Penny”; if ever she tires of being John Ross’s girl on the side, she could have a future as “Dallas’s” resident girl detective.

This raises a question: Who — or what — does the title of this episode refer to? Is it the John Ross/Emma video clip, which pops up repeatedly during the course of the hour? Is it Candace’s blue dress, which seems destined to join the list of “Dallas’s” most famous outfits? Is it Drew? Or is it J.R.’s watch? If it’s the latter, here’s hoping more of J.R.’s “bad pennies” turn up. I’m impressed by the clever way “Dallas” is using props to help keep his spirit alive, beginning with the J.R. Ewing Bourbon bottle in “D.T.R.” and now the wristwatch in “Like a Bad Penny.” The scene where Nasir stands at the Southfork gate and places the timepiece in John Ross’s hand is surprisingly moving; it’s almost as if J.R. himself has come home.

Let’s just hope John Ross remembers to check the watch for bugs.

Grade: B

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dallas, Linda Gray, Like a Bad Penny, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Blame game

‘LIKE A BAD PENNY’

Season 3, Episode 7

Telecast: April 7, 2014

Audience: 1.87 million viewers on April 7

Writer: Pierluigi D. Cothran

Director: Millicent Shelton

Synopsis: John Ross meets Nasir Ali and persuades his father, a powerful sheik, to supply the capital he needs to buy a controlling interest in Ewing Global once it goes public. Bobby and Ann get Sue Ellen released from the sanitarium and bring her to Southfork to recover. John Ross and Harris each dismiss Candace, who tells Emma about her father’s scheme to frame John Ross for a sex crime. Christopher tries to help Bo, who tells Heather he wants to reconcile. Drew returns to Dallas and vows revenge against the Ewings after discovering J.R. swindled the Ramoses out of their land. Elena refuses to show Pamela the video of John Ross and Emma, so Nicolas goes behind her back and sends it Pamela on his own. Nicolas also meets with his secret partners: Hunter McKay, who wants to bring down the Ewings, and the Mexican drug lord Luis, who wants to take over Ewing Global and use it to launder the cartel’s drug profits.

Cast: Jonathan Adams (Calvin Hanna), Kuno Becker (Drew Ramos), Emma Bell (Emma Ryland), Donny Boaz (Bo McCabe), Jordana Brewster (Elena Ramos), Dallas Clark (Michael), Gail Cronauer (Dr. Monika Englert), Jude Demorest (Candace Shaw), Juan Pablo Di Pace (Nicolas Treviño), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Julie Gonzalo (Pamela Ewing), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Josh Henderson (John Ross Ewing), Janeen Howard (Nadia), Antonio Jaramillo (Luis), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Fran Kranz (Hunter McKay), AnnaLynne McCord (Heather), Jesse Metcalfe (Christopher Ewing), Kevin Page (Bum), Mitch Pileggi (Harris Ryland), Brenda Strong (Ann Ewing), Pej Vahdat (Nasir Ali)

“Like a Bad Penny” is available at DallasTNT.com, Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Drill Bits: It’s Another Ratings Uptick for ‘Dallas’

Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Jesse Metcalfe, Like a Bad Penny, TNT

Crunch those numbers, Christopher

“Dallas” experienced another slight increase in the ratings this week. The latest episode, “Like a Bad Penny,” debuted to 1.87 million viewers on April 7, up 3 percent from one week ago. The episode drew 580,000 viewers in the advertiser-coveted demographic of adults between ages 18 and 49, an increase of almost 4 percent.

This is the third week in a row that “Dallas” has grown its audience since March 17, when the show hit a series low of 1.78 million viewers.

Interestingly, “Dallas” faced tougher-than-usual competition on April 7. “Like a Bad Penny” debuted opposite CBS’s coverage of the NCAA basketball championship, which drew 16.7 million viewers from 9 to 10 p.m. Also during this hour, ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” grabbed 14.2 million viewers, followed by NBC’s “The Voice” (11.9 million) and Fox’s “The Following” (4.5 million).

“Dallas’s” previous episode, “Like Father, Like Son,” debuted on March 31 to 1.82 million viewers, including 559,000 adults between ages 18 and 49. However, when DVR users who recorded the episode and watched it a few days later are counted, the “Like Father, Like Son” audience rose to 2.6 million viewers, including 1.2 million adults between ages 25 and 54, an audience TNT targets.

“Dallas” is averaging 1.98 million viewers on Mondays at 9 p.m. this season, down from 2.7 million viewers in this time slot last year. However, when DVR users are included, “Dallas’s” weekly viewership rises to approximately 2.7 million viewers, making it the fourth most-watched original drama on TNT’s winter schedule. “Major Crimes” is the top show with 7.4 million viewers, followed by “Rizzoli & Isles (5.6 million) and “Perception” (3.3 million).

TNT also continues to replay new “Dallas” episodes later on Monday nights, where the show draws hundreds of thousands of additional viewers. On April 7, after “Like a Bad Penny” debuted at 9 p.m., TNT showed the episode again at 10 p.m., where it clocked 703,000 viewers.

Behind the Scenes at ‘Dallas’

The “Dallas” producers hosted an NCAA-themed bash on their Dallas soundstages last week. WSAW, the city’s CBS station, has a behind-the-scenes look at the sets, including a brief chat with executive producer Michael M. Robin.

Return to Forney

Before “Dallas” wrapped production on the third season last week, the crew filmed scenes around Forney, Texas — which also happens to be home of the Southern Cross Ranch, the Farlow family spread seen on the original series. InForney.com has the scoop, although it isn’t clear if the Ewings will be paying another visit to the Southern Cross on the TNT show.

Look Who’s Talking

DVR alert: Patrick Duffy is scheduled to appear on “The Talk” on Thursday, April 10. CBS airs the show at 2 p.m. in most cities.

“Drill Bits,” a roundup of news about TNT’s “Dallas,” is published regularly. Share your comments below.

TNT’s Dallas Recap: ‘Like a Bad Penny’

Dallas, Like a Bad Penny, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Welcome home, darlin’

Here’s what happened in “Like a Bad Penny,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode:

• Sue Ellen came home. Bobby and Ann (Patrick Duffy, Brenda Strong) found Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) in the sanitarium and tried to talk the physician in charge, Dr. Monkia Englert (Gail Cronauer), into releasing her into their custody. Englert reluctantly agreed to let Sue Ellen leave, but warned Bobby and Ann that “she needs to get her alcoholism under control. Otherwise, she will be a danger to herself.” When John Ross (Josh Henderson) ran into his mother at the ranch, he told her he acted in her best interest by having her committed, but she didn’t want to hear it, telling him, “You only did it to help yourself.”

• John Ross gambled … and lost. The final piece in John Ross’s plan to take Ewing Global public fell into place: He went to Las Vegas to meet Sheik Sharif Ali, with whom J.R. was planning to do business before he died. John Ross hoped to ask the sheik for money to finance his initial public offering in exchange for a piece of the Arctic lease deal; unfortunately, the sheik felt insulted because John Ross didn’t come to him sooner. To smooth things over, John Ross talked his way into the sheik’s high-stakes poker game and intentionally lost it, even though he bet his wristwatch and Pamela (Julie Gonzalo) put up her emerald earrings as collateral. After the game, Pamela asked her husband why he threw it. “Sometimes the only way to win is to show the other person you’re not afraid to lose,” John Ross said.

• Or did he? Not long after Mr. and Mrs. Ewing returned to Southfork, the sheik’s son, Nasir (Pej Vahdat), arrived and told John Ross his father was impressed by the way he handled his loss in Las Vegas. Nasir returned the wristwatch and agreed to supply John Ross with the money he needed for his IPO, explaining, “When you gambled the watch, my father saw J.R. in you. You were humble enough to know you were wrong and brave enough to risk something you care deeply about to prove it.” Meanwhile, Bobby tapped banker Cal Hanna, an old college buddy, to underwrite the IPO; John Ross, not wanting to delay the Arctic deal, reluctantly agreed to go along with Bobby’s choice. Later, Cal asked Bobby, “You really think John Ross is going to come after me?” Bobby’s response: “Oh, I’m sure of it. And when he does, make him think he got you.”

• Emma uncovered Harris’s scheme. After John Ross fired Candace (Jude Demorest), he told Bum (Kevin Page) to investigate her. Perhaps John Ross should’ve hired Emma (Emma Bell) for the job instead. When Harris (Mitch Pileggi) told Candace her services were no longer required, Emma began snooping into Candace’s life and discovered Harris was trying to get Candace to frame John Ross for a sex crime. Emma got her hands on Candace’s blue dress instead and posed with it in front of her mirror, not long after Harris chastised his daughter for getting involved with John Ross. “Are you deluded enough into thinking that he’s going to leave his wife for you, or are you just content in being his little piece on the side?” Harris asked.

• Drew returned to Southfork. Drew (Kuno Becker), wracked with guilt over the Ewing rig explosion, returned to Dallas and tried to apologize to Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe), who instead took out his rage on Drew and beat him up in a parking garage. After the fight, Christopher turned to Heather (AnnaLynne McCord), which infuriated Bo (Donny Boaz), while Drew retreated to Elena’s cottage on Southfork. While there, he stumbled across their father’s old land deed and angrily confronted Elena (Jordana Brewster), asking how long she had known J.R. switched the records. Elena told Drew she and Nicolas have a plan to take down the Ewings, but Drew was too upset by the discovery that J.R. had swindled their papi. “He wasted his life on a dream that was already taken from him — and I wasted mine, hating myself for not being able to save him. Everything that’s happened is because of J.R.’s betrayal. Their greed took everything from our family,” Drew said before running into the night.

• Nicolas got down to business, part 1. Nicolas (Juan Pablo Di Pace) assured Elena he would find Drew and protect him; little did she know her lover had his own business to take care of. Nicolas had a midnight meeting with two secret partners: Hunter McKay (Fran Kranz), Carter’s grandson, who wants to take down the Ewings; and Luis (Antonio Jaramillo), the Mexican drug dealer who cut a deal with Judith at the beginning of the season. Their scheme: Hunter is setting up a series of shell corporations to buy up the Ewing Global stock when it hits the market; Luis will then use the shares to gain a controlling interest in the company. As Nicolas told Luis, “By the time the Ewings and Cliff Barnes realize what happened, you’ll be in control of the company, free to launder billions of drug profits for years to come.”

• Nicolas got down to business, part 2. Luis threatened Nicolas’s children if their arrangement doesn’t pan out, but Nicolas didn’t seem fazed and even asked the drug lord for help with his next task: finding Drew. So much for keeping his promise to Elena to protect her brother, huh? But this wasn’t the first time Nicolas betrayed Elena in this episode. After she told him she couldn’t bring herself to show Pamela the video of John Ross and Emma, Nicolas got his hands on a copy of the video and forwarded it to Pamela’s phone, which was on her nightstand as she and John Ross made love.

What did you think of “Like a Bad Penny”? Share your comments below and look for Dallas Decoder’s critique later this week.

#DallasChat is Back! Join Our Discussion on April 8

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Like father, like son

Did you enjoy “Like a Bad Penny,” this week’s episode of TNT’s “Dallas”? Let’s discuss it during my next #DallasChat on Twitter, which I’ll hold Tuesday, April 8, from 9 to 10 p.m. Eastern time. Since I didn’t hold a #DallasChat last week (sorry!), we can also discuss the previous episode, “Like Father, Like Son.”

Leave your suggested questions in the comments section below, tweet them to me @DallasDecoder or post them to my Facebook page. I’ll choose one or more questions and ask them during our discussion.

If you’re new to #DallasChat, here’s how it works: For one hour, I tweet a series of questions to my fellow “Dallas” fans. Each question is numbered and includes the hashtag #DallasChat, so your answers should do the same. Please include the show’s official hashtag, #DallasTNT, in your tweets too.

Here’s a sample exchange:

Q1. How do you feel about John Ross these days? #DallasChat

A1. Sometimes I want to throttle him; sometimes I want to give him a hug. What a fascinating character! #DallasTNT #DallasChat

Here are two tips:

• During the discussion, enter #DallasChat in Twitter’s search field. This will help you watch the search results so you can follow the conversation. Click “All” to see all the related tweets.

• Be sure to include #DallasChat in your tweets. This allows the other participants to see your contributions to the conversation.

This will be another fun discussion. Please join us!

The Dal-List: 31 Things That Happen When You Watch ‘Dallas’

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Mr. Cool

What happens when “Dallas” fans watch the show? Here are 31 experiences we all share when we tune in to TNT on Monday nights.

1. You settle into your comfiest chair with a pint of ice cream and/or a tall glass of wine and think, “It’s ‘Dallas’ night. Life is good.”

2. The teaser scene starts. If it features Josh Henderson, you reach for something to fan yourself.

3. The theme song begins and you get chills because it’s biologically impossible to not get excited when you hear this music.

4. You see the three-way split-screen opening credits. You feel joy.

5. Before the first commercial break, someone blackmails someone else. (Note: This will happen at least six more times before the episode ends.)

6. Sex!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

How does she do it?

7. Linda Gray appears and looks fantastic. You turn to the spouse/roommate/cat sitting next to you and say, “How does she manage to get more beautiful each week?”

8. The spouse/roommate/cat doesn’t make a peep because you’ve trained him/her/it to be completely silent when “Dallas” is on.

9. Is Sue Ellen blackmailing someone? Putting John Ross in his place? It doesn’t matter. Whatever she’s doing, you think, “Gray is totally crushing this scene.”

10. Someone mentions J.R. You smile and feel thankful for all the wonderful performances Larry Hagman gave us over the years.

11. Bobby (Patrick Duffy) calls John Ross “boy.” You realize you never get tired of hearing him do this.

12. Brenda Strong appears and you can’t help but wonder: Is Ann is going to shoot someone tonight?

13. Something happens in the storyline that doesn’t quite add up but you decide not to dwell on it because the rest of the show is So. Damn. Good.

14. You suddenly get a hankering for a Miller Lite. You’re not sure why.

15. You hop onto Twitter, read the cast’s tweets and feel impressed by how cool the actors are.

16. “Maybe I should buy a Microsoft Surface,” you think.

17. You notice how fantastic Jordana Brewster and Julie Gonzalo’s hair looks and wish Charles Yusko could style your hair too.

18. You see everyone’s amazing clothes and wonder if Rachel Sage Kunin would be willing to go shopping with you.

19. Nicolas appears. It occurs to you: Juan Pablo Di Pace is wearing too much clothing.

Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, TNT

Love to hate

20. Emma (Emma Bell) does something scandalous and you love it even though you pretend to hate her.

21. Harris (Mitch Pileggi) does something mean and you love it even though you pretend to hate him.

22. Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) doesn’t smile until Heather (AnnaLynne McCord) shows up but it’s OK because it’s the best smile ever and it’s always worth the wait.

23. Fracking!

24. Also: “Heritage!” “Tradition!” “Legacy!”

25. More sex.

26. Judith Light does something nuts.

27. The episode ends with a twist. You exclaim, “How did I not see that coming?!” followed by, “How is the show over already?!”

28. Once again, your spouse/roommate/cat knows better than to answer.

29. You think, “I can’t wait to read Dallas Decoder’s critique of this episode, which will probably be posted on Wednesday unless he’s busy in which case I’ll have to wait until Thursday.”

30. TNT plays the previews for next week’s show. You look at the nearest calendar and curse it because you have to wait seven whole days for another episode.

31. The closing credits end and TNT starts replaying the episode. You grab another pint of ice cream and/or refill your wineglass and start all over.

What did I overlook? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

Dallas Burning Questions: Season 3, Week 7

Bryan Pitts, Dallas, Kenneisha Thompson, Like a Bad Penny, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Gone, darlin’, gone?

Here are the questions we’re pondering as we await tonight’s telecast of “Like a Bad Penny,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode:

• Where’s Sue Ellen? In “Like Father, Like Son,” last week’s episode, John Ross (Josh Henderson) blackmailed a judge into ordering Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) to have a mandatory psychiatric evaluation. The last time we saw our heroine, paramedics were placing her in the back of an ambulance while John Ross watched. Later, he told Bobby (Patrick Duffy), Ann (Brenda Strong) and Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) that he was forced to call the police after having a huge fight with his mother. “What have you done, John Ross?” Bobby asked. Good question, Uncle Bobby, but a better one is this: Where is Sue Ellen, and will she get the help she needs?

• Will John Ross take Ewing Global public? John Ross and Sue Ellen’s fight began after she voted against his proposal to take Ewing Global public, an idea given to him by his childhood friend Hunter McKay (Fran Kranz). John Ross pitched the idea to the Ewing Global co-owners as a way to raise money for their Arctic drilling venture; Pamela and Nicolas (Julie Gonzalo, Juan Pablo Di Pace) supported John Ross, but Bobby and Christopher accused him of wanting to put everyone’s shares in play so he can buy up the controlling interest for himself. With Sue Ellen incapacitated, John Ross has control of her piece of the company, which means his plans for an “initial public offering” are probably back on. Will he succeed?

• Will Elena bust John Ross? To get Nicolas’s support for an IPO, John Ross offered him a 3 percent royalty on all oil produced by the Arctic leases. Nicolas agreed, but he had another plan in mind: He told Elena (Jordana Brewster) he was going to take control of the company before John Ross could. She told Nicolas he was playing “a dangerous game” and set off on her own scheme, hiring private eye Jasper (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) to follow John Ross and determine if he’s cheating. Elena’s plan worked all too well: With Jasper’s help, she watched surveillance video that showed John Ross having sex with Emma (Emma Bell). Will Elena tell Pamela what she saw?

• Will Bobby make Nicolas’s life miserable? After Bobby gave Christopher control of his Ewing Global shares, he settled into his new job as one of the state’s powerful railroad commissioners. First order of business: abusing his office. Bobby had a run-in with Nicolas and suggested he was going to use his newly obtained political muscle to put the squeeze on Treviño Industries’ Texas holdings. Nicolas wasn’t fazed, telling Bobby, “Take your best shot, Mr. Ewing.” Will Nicolas feel so cocky once he’s messed with badass Bobby?

• Will Christopher keep smiling? Ever since Heather (AnnaLynne McCord) entered his life, Christopher has been uncharacteristically chipper. In “Like Father, Like Son,” he even seemed to enjoy babysitting Heather’s son Michael (Dallas Clark) when Bo (Donny Boaz) left her in a childcare lurch. The good vibrations seem destined to end, especially since Drew (Kuno Becker) will appear in tonight’s episode. What will happen when Christopher sees him again?

• What’s next for Harris? Although Harris (Mitch Pileggi) didn’t appear in “Like Father, Like Son” (boo!), we saw Candace (Jude Demorest) receive a text from him, demanding to know why she hadn’t succeeded in seducing John Ross. The message prompted Candace to slip into the blue dress Harris gave her and try to seduce John Ross, but he rejected her, saying, “Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you’ve got to start taking ‘no’ for an answer. I’m a married man. I’m sorry, but it ain’t ever going to happen.” Will Harris give up? If so, will Judith (Judith Light) let him?

What “Dallas Burning Questions” are on your mind? Share your comments below and watch TNT’s “Dallas” tonight.