TNT’s Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘It’s the Ewing Way’

Blame Game, Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Life’s cycles

In “Blame Game,”second-season “Dallas” episode, Bobby and Sue Ellen (Patrick Duffy, Linda Gray) sit together in the Southfork living room, where the Ewings are being held hostage.

SUE ELLEN: Even if Christopher does get here on time, I don’t see this coming to an end without somebody getting hurt. Or worse.

BOBBY: J.R. and John Ross brought this on us, Sue Ellen, by getting mixed up with these guys. Bad begets bad. It always has. It always will.

SUE ELLEN: J.R. does bad, you do good. And repeat. A vicious cycle that our sons seem destined to continue. It’s the Ewing way.

BOBBY: It doesn’t have to be. If we get out of this, you could break the cycle.

SUE ELLEN: By giving Elena her shares back?

BOBBY: It’d be a start.

The Dallas Decoder Guide to Surviving a Hostage Crisis

Blame Game, Dallas, Drew Ramos, Kuno Becker, TNT

Drew to the rescue

In “Blame Game,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode, Vicente Cano ambushes Southfork and holds the Ewings captive. Dumb move, Vicente. These people are experts at surviving hostage crises, as they demonstrated time and again on the original “Dallas” and its “Knots Landing” spinoff. Let them show you how.

Charlene Tilton, Cooper Huckabee, Dallas, Lucy Ewing, Payton Allen

Light her fire

Beware of cute boys with shaggy hair. The best way to survive hostage crises is to avoid them altogether – a lesson Lucy (Charlene Tilton) learned the hard way. When Payton Allen (Cooper Huckabee) showed up at Southfork one windy afternoon, she flirted with him shamelessly – until he took her whole family hostage. Eight episodes later, when Lucy saw Willie Gust at a roadside diner, she gave him a coquettish glance. His response: taking her hostage as he traversed Texas in his far-out custom van, waging a one-man crime spree.

Brian Dennehy, Dallas, Greg Evigan, Luther Frick, Willie Gust

Bear and B.J.

Don’t get star-struck. Once you find yourself in a hostage situation, you may notice that at least one of your captors looks familiar. In the Ewings’ cases, Willie (Greg Evigan) bore a striking resemblance to that one guy who used to ride around in a semi-truck with a monkey (or that one guy who raised a daughter with Paul Reiser), while Luther Frick (Brian Dennehy), Payton’s partner in crime, looked an awful lot like that one guy who’s been in everything. Don’t let this cause you to lower your defenses. Remember: These are bad men!

Dallas, Ginger Ward, Joan Van Ark, Karen Fairgate, Kim Lankford, Knots Landing, Michele Lee, Valene Ewing

Please, Karen. Not again.

Stay calm. Don’t let this picture mislead you. When Val (Joan Van Ark) threw a baby shower for her Seaview Circle neighbor Ginger (Kim Lankford) and armed robbers burst in and took everyone hostage, the ladies remained admirably restrained. The only reason they look panicked here is because Karen (Michele Lee) was threatening to recite her famous “Pollyanna speech” for the umpteenth time. Kidding! We love you, Karen. And you’re right: Nice should be the norm. If only the hostage-takers of the world felt that way!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Peter Ellington, Philip Anglim, Sue Ellen Ewing

Hurt her and you’ll answer to us

Keep your priorities straight. J.R. was hashing out a big oil deal with Bobby, Ray and Carter McKay when he discovered McKay’s nutty protégé Peter Ellington (Philip Anglim) was holding Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) at gunpoint in the next room. So what did J.R. do? He finished negotiating his deal of course! Once that was settled, J.R. let everyone know what was happening on the other side of the door so they could rescue Sue Ellen. Hey, don’t look so surprised. These are Ewings we’re talking about. Oil comes first. Always.

Abby Ewing, Dallas, Donna Mills, Knots Landing

Hi, bob

Always look your best. When villainous Mark St. Clair took Gary’s second wife Abby (Donna Mills) hostage in the back of a limousine during the final moments of “Knots Landing’s” 1983-84 season, her flaxen hair fell onto her shoulders. The following fall’s season premiere picked up moments later, yet Abby was now sporting a chic bob. How? Why? It was never explained. Perhaps she gave herself a trim to ensure she’d be camera-ready in case the press showed up to cover her eventual rescue. Now that’s thinking like a Ewing.

Abby Cunningham, Dallas, Donna Mills, Knots Landing

She never liked Val’s curtains anyway

Give Abby the weapon. Speaking of Abby: If you’re able to wrest control of your captor’s weapon and she happens to be nearby, by all means toss the instrument to her. She’ll know what to do with it. During Val’s baby-shower-from-hell, Abby used a fire extinguisher to blow away one of the bad guys (literally!). Later, during her own hostage crisis, Abby managed to grab St. Clair’s gun and turn it on him. In that instance, her rescuer Greg Sumner insisted she give him the gun. Just like him to waltz in and take over a show, isn’t it?

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

What’s the big deal?

Master the art of the fake-out. When J.R. (Larry Hagman) went to an abandoned theme park to negotiate the kidnapped John Ross’s release, the boy’s captor, B.D. Calhoun, thought J.R. was alone. Wrong! Bobby and Ray secretly tagged along and helped J.R. stage a daring rescue of his son. Years earlier, J.R. and Ray pulled a similar stunt when they helped Cliff negotiate Bobby’s release from a trio of dim-witted kidnappers. In that instance, Cliff was almost killed, which seemed to upset a lot of people. J.R. never understood why.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Lucy Ewing

Command performance

When all else fails, sing! If your captors are anything like the bad guys the Ewings encounter, chances are they’re going to want you to sing. Don’t ask why; apparently this is something hostage-takers do. You could be like Sue Ellen, who sobbed her way through Barbra Streisand’s “People” for Frick and Allen, or you could play it like Lucy, who was forced to enter a talent competition by Willie and absolutely killed it with her rendition of “Silver Threads and Golden Needles.” It was a great performance, but we wonder: Why didn’t Lucy sing “Rescue Me” instead?

What have the Ewings taught you about surviving a hostage crisis? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Decoder Guides.”

Dallas Burning Questions: Season 2, Week 5

Another fine mess

Another fine mess

Here are the questions we’re pondering as we await tonight’s telecast of “Blame Game,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode.

• Will Ann go to prison? In “Trial and Error,” last week’s episode, Ann (Brenda Strong) proved she shot Harris and went on trial, where her dirty laundry was aired in front of everyone. Judith and Harris (Judith Light, Mitch Pileggi) testified that Ann had been a bad wife and neglectful mother, which Ann tried to refute in her own testimony. The strategy failed: The jury found Ann guilty, and in the final scene, she was hauled off to jail. Will Bobby (Patrick Duffy) find a way to spring his wife from the slammer?

Will Emma forgive her mother? Throughout Ann’s trial, Emma (Emma Bell) seemed to struggle with her feelings toward her estranged mother. During a recess, Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) appealed to his newly discovered stepsister on Ann’s behalf, but Emma ended up delivering damaging testimony against Ann. Yet when the guilty verdict was announced, Emma went running from the room in tears. Might there be hope for a mother/daughter reconciliation?

Pamela and Christopher: Now what? The enmity displayed at Ann’s trial prompted Christopher to soften toward Pamela (Julie Gonzalo). “I don’t want our kids to be raised with their parents poisoning their minds against each other,” he said. Christopher agreed to Pamela’s request for mediation and seemed concerned when Pamela experienced a pregnancy pain. Later, Cliff (Ken Kercheval) congratulated his daughter on getting Christopher to the negotiating table, but Pamela didn’t seem so enthused. Is she having second thoughts about her scheme against Christopher?

Pamela and John Ross: Is it over? Two episodes ago, when it looked like the police were closing in on Pamela during the investigation into Tommy’s death, John Ross (Josh Henderson) tipped off Cliff about J.R.’s plot against Pamela. In “Trial and Error,” J.R. (Larry Hagman) found out about John Ross’s betrayal and was angry for awhile, until Sue Ellen persuaded him to forgive their son. Meanwhile, Pamela thanked John Ross for helping her, but when he hinted he wanted a deeper relationship with her, she demurred. “Nothing personal. Just protecting our business arrangement,” she told him. Will John Ross give up on Pamela?

When will Sue Ellen make her move against Elena? Three episodes ago, Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) told Elena (Jordana Brewster) that if she didn’t strike oil on the Henderson property in one month, Sue Ellen would call in her loan. A month elapsed during “Trial and Error,” which means Elena’s time is up. It seems unlikely she’ll be able to pay Sue Ellen back, especially since she had to bail out brother Drew (Kuno Becker), who was arrested for smuggling stolen goods. Does this mean Sue Ellen and John Ross will finally seize Elena’s share of Ewing Energies?

Will Vicente get revenge? Bobby and Christopher were outraged to discover Vicente (Carlos Bernard) might be extradited to Venezuela. “Don’t forget, we still have some unfinished to conclude,” Vicente told Bobby with a wink. In the promos for tonight’s episode, Vicente and his henchmen are seen leading an ambush on Southfork, where most of the Ewings – even Pamela – are gathered. What brings them together – and will they all survive their latest hostage crisis?

What will be J.R.’s final scene? The final scenes that Hagman filmed before his death last November appeared in “Trial and Error.” The producers were expected to insert one of Hagman’s unused scenes in “Blame Game,” which means tonight could be the last time we’ll see him portray J.R. What will be his swan song?

What “Dallas Burning Questions” are on your mind? Share your comments below and watch TNT’s “Dallas” tonight.

Dallas Drinks: The Pamela

To honor Julie Gonzalo’s kick-ass performance on TNT’s “Dallas,” Dallas Decoder and Cook In/Dine Out offer a new Pamela-inspired “Dallas Drinks” cocktail. 

Dallas Drinks - The Pamela

TNT’s Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘… And She Was Gone’

Ann Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, TNT, Trial and Error

Judge not

In “Trial and Error,” a second-season “Dallas” episode, Ann (Brenda Strong) testifies before her attorney Lou (Glenn Morshower) and a packed courtroom.

ANN: I was a tall, awkward girl. Most of my life, I felt ugly. My mother took me to doctors when I hit puberty so they would make me stop growing. No one had really ever paid any attention to me until Harris. My family didn’t have much money. And Harris took me to fancy restaurants, stores, bought me nice clothes. We were happy. He had grown up in a suffocating home. His father had committed suicide before he was born. And his mother controlled his every breath. Harris kept telling me how good I was for him, that I brought life into the dark of his life. Then his mother began to interfere. Nothing I could do was right. She made fun of the fact that I had never gone to college. She put ideas in his head about me, that I was a gold-digger, that I was seeing other men. And he believed her. So he began trying to control me the way he had always been controlled. If I picked the wrong blouse, picked up the wrong fork, did my hair a certain way, he’d shout at me. I began to realize that the marriage had been a mistake. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt trapped. By the time Emma was born, I felt like I was drowning. I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and put on medication. I had a difficult time being a young mother. I’m sorry. But I did not leave my daughter at home alone! I left Emma with Judith so I could go see a divorce lawyer. But Judith lied to Harris for her own twisted purposes. And then Harris found out about my plans to divorce him, and he forced me to see a psychiatrist to put me on more medication.

LOU: Tell us what happened at the state fair.

ANN: Emma was 18 months old. Harris and his mother were particularly cruel to me the night before, so that morning, I took a few more pills than I should’ve. I couldn’t think straight, but I couldn’t stand to be in that house another minute, so I took Emma to the fair. It was so very hot. I remember being so thirsty, so I left her in her stroller and went to get a soda. Only a couple minutes passed. I turned back, and she was gone. I had stepped away from my baby for only a few moments and she’d been kidnapped. God had punished me by taking my baby.

The Dallas Decoder Guide to Texas Justice

Rogue’s gallery

Gang’s all here

The Ewings go to court in “Trial and Error,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode, and if past is prologue, the experience will be as enlightening as it is entertaining. Here’s what we learned about the Texas legal system from watching the original “Dallas.”

Rush to judgment

Rush to judgment

Justice is swift. (Except when it isn’t.) When someone in the Ewing camp is accused of a crime, the wheels of justice either spin super fast – or grind to a halt. Jock (Jim Davis) was charged with killing Hutch McKinney and indicted a week later, and then his trial lasted all of one day. But when Bobby’s girlfriend Jenna Wade went on trial for murdering Naldo Marchetta, the case dragged on for 11 episodes – almost a third of that season!

Snide and prejudice

Snide and prejudice

What conflict of interest? When Jock’s case went to trial, the assistant prosecutor was – drumroll, please – Cliff Barnes (Ken Kercheval). Did it matter that Cliff’s father was once Jock’s business partner? Or that Cliff’s sister was married to Jock’s son? Of course not! Look, if Senator Bobby Ewing could preside over a legislative inquiry into J.R.’s shady dealings, surely Cliff could prosecute Jock without prejudice. Right?

Cliff jumping

Cliff jumping

What courtroom etiquette? You know how Christopher has a penchant for courtroom outbursts on TNT’s “Dallas”? Uncle Cliff had the same habit on the old show. Remember when he interrupted a Ewing Oil ownership hearing by loudly telling opponent Jack Ewing, “This is all a setup by J.R. Ewing! You are here to cheat me!” The judge vowed to eject Cliff, but of course he didn’t. Do TV judges ever follow through on that threat?

Greasing the wheels

Chamber of commerce

Judges are for bribing. J.R. (Larry Hagman) never met a judge he didn’t try to influence. When Cliff tried to weasel his way into Ewing Oil, J.R. gave Judge Loeb (Jerry Hardin) some valuable stock tips in exchange for an injunction stalling Cliff’s case. Of course, these things sometimes backfired. When J.R. tried to pressure Jenna’s judge, the judge jacked up her bail to $2 million. Silly jurist. That’s what the Ewings call “pocket change.”

Mr. Cool

Mr. Cool

Scotty Demarest: Texas’s Matlock. Whenever the Ewings landed in hot legal water, they summoned Scotty (Stephen Elliott), an ultra-cool legal eagle whose disarming drawl added a few extra syllables to every word. Scotty’s best stunt: putting accused shooter Jenna on the witness stand and asking her to activate the gun’s “sy-luntz-uh.” She couldn’t, giving “Dallas” its own if-it-doesn’t-fit-you-must-acquit moment.

Spectacles of justice

Spectacles of justice

Harv Smithfield was cool too. Who didn’t love Harv (George O. Petrie), the Ewings’ loyal consigliere? He wasn’t quite as flamboyant as Scotty, but he had a flair for legal theatrics nonetheless. I mean, is it me or did Harv only trot out his lawyerly pince-nez spectacles when he was in court? The other remarkable thing about Harv: He was highly ethical. So how’d he manage to stay on the Ewing payroll for so long?

He must object

He must object

Don’t forget about Cole Young! Cole (Walter Brooke) helped acquit Cliff of Julie Grey’s murder through sheer incredulity. During J.R.’s three-minute testimony against Cliff, Cole objected five times. Cole was especially outraged when he thought the prosecutor was being mean to Pam on the witness stand. As Cole put it: “I protest that, not only as an officer of this court but as a citizen of the great state of Texas!” You tell ’em, Cole!

He’ll smell ya later

He’ll smell ya later

Trials are for stargazing. In addition to Brooke, who famously gave Dustin Hoffman career advice in “The Graduate” (“plastics!”), “Dallas” also gave us stars-in-the-making, including Steven Williams (the boss on “21 Jump Street”) as the bailiff during Ray’s trial for Mickey Trotter’s death and James Avery (Will Smith’s Uncle Phil on “The Fresh Prince Bel-Air”) as the judge in one of little Christopher’s many custody hearings.

Got a stack of those?

Might want a stack of those, just in case

Testify! The amazing thing about the Ewings: They often told the truth in court. For example, Bobby allowed the sordid story of Christopher’s paternity to come out during his final custody fight for the boy. J.R. even delivered potentially damaging testimony against his daddy at Jock’s trial, although he declined to drag Sue Ellen’s name through the mud at their first divorce hearing. Who says miracles don’t happen in “Dallas”?

What have the Ewings taught you about the justice system? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Decoder Guides.”

Dallas Burning Questions: Season 2, Week 4

Too little too late?

Too little too late?

Here are the questions we’re pondering as we await tonight’s telecast of “Trial and Error,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode.

Will the police believe Ann or Harris? In last week’s episode, “False Confessions,” Bobby (Patrick Duffy) tried to protect Ann by confessing to shooting Harris. Meanwhile, as Harris lay in a coma, his mother Judith (Judith Light) vowed revenge. “I will make sure Bobby goes to jail, take him from Ann the way she took you from me,” she whispered into her son’s ear. After Bobby was arrested and freed on $1 million bail, Ann (Brenda Strong) persuaded him to recant his confession, then told family lawyer Lou (Glenn Morshower) the truth: that she shot Harris. There was just one problem: When Harris (Mitch Pileggi) woke up and the police asked him to name his assailant, he lied. “It was Bobby Ewing,” Harris said as Judith smiled. So which Ewing will go on trial – Bobby or Ann?

Has Pamela ruined all of her relationships? After J.R. and Frank conspired to expose Pamela’s role in Tommy’s death, Cliff (Ken Kercheval) turned the tables on them. Cliff framed Frank (Faran Tahir) for the shooting, then persuaded his “son” to fall on his sword for the good of the Barnes family. When Frank went before the judge, he lied and said he shot Tommy – then admitted to killing Becky, swallowed a poison pill and died. Elsewhere, Pamela (Julie Gonzalo) – sensing that John Ross (Josh Henderson) was falling for her – rejected his offer to help, while Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) was outraged to see her beat the rap for Tommy’s death. So, to recap: Pamela has angered her father, alienated her lover and made her estranged husband madder than ever. Can any of her relationships be saved?

• Will John Ross regret betraying J.R.? J.R. (Larry Hagman) learned John Ross was “cavorting” with Pamela and ordered him to stop, but John Ross refused and turned to Cliff, tipping him off that Frank was in cahoots with J.R. What will happen when J.R. learns his son sold him out?

Will Elena strike oil? John Ross bribed Elena’s foreman to sabotage the Henderson drilling site, hoping it will cause her to miss the deadline to strike oil and repay her loan to Sue Ellen (Linda Gray). Unfortunately for John Ross, Elena’s brother Drew (Kuno Becker) realized the foreman was up to no good and fired him. Will this give Elena (Jordana Brewster) time to get her project back on track – or will Sue Ellen end up calling in the loan and seizing Elena’s share of Ewing Energies?

What’s Drew up to? Speaking of Elena’s brother: Clyde (Brett Brock), John Ross’s private eye, watched Drew go to the outskirts of Dallas, where he met a truck driver and had a cryptic conversation about “the boss” they share. The driver tossed Drew the keys, and then Drew climbed into the truck and drove away. Where was he headed – and who is his mysterious employer?

What “Dallas Burning Questions” are on your mind? Share your comments below and watch TNT’s “Dallas” tonight.

TNT’s Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘You Got a Lot to Learn, Boy’

Dallas, False Confessions, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT

Family man

In “False Confessions,” a second-season “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) is standing at his bedroom window, ending a phone call, when John Ross (Josh Henderson) enters.

JOHN ROSS: What’s going on?

J.R.: Bobby got arrested for shooting Harris Ryland.

JOHN ROSS: You serious? [Steps forward] You think that will help us get him out of Ewing Energies?

J.R.: You still got a lot to learn, boy. [Slides his cell phone in his pocket] When the family’s in trouble, we don’t take advantage.

JOHN ROSS: You got a problem with me?

J.R.: You damn right I do. [Steps forward] I hear you’ve been cavorting with Pamela Barnes. What do fathers say? I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed? Well, I am both.

JOHN ROSS: Who I cavort with ain’t none of your business.

J.R.: It is when her last name is Barnes. [Sits] What do you want with Christopher’s scraps anyway?

JOHN ROSS: I’m working her.

J.R.: And apparently not learning from your mistakes. You already got in bed with one crazy woman in that Marta. Not a good idea to get in bed with another one.

JOHN ROSS: I’ve got a plan to get her shares of Ewing Energies after the divorce.

J.R.: You let that Barnes girl get a piece of our company and you’re inviting a vampire into our home. She’ll suck the life out of us. That’s why I’ve seen to it that there won’t be a divorce.

JOHN ROSS: How’s that?

J.R.: I made a deal with Cliff’s man Frank. We’ve got a plan to take Pamela out of the picture.

JOHN ROSS: You must be getting senile in your old age, Daddy, because I’m the one calling the shots here. Remember?

J.R.: You asked me to teach you every dirty trick I know so we can take Ewing Energies. I teach by example.

JOHN ROSS: What do you and Frank plan on doing to Pamela?

J.R.: You got feelings for this girl?

JOHN ROSS: No.

J.R.: Then why do you care?

Dallas Burning Questions: Season 2, Week 3

Caught

Will she get caught?

Here are the questions we’re pondering as we await tonight’s telecast of “False Confessions,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode.

Is Harris dead? At the end of “Sins of the Father,” last week’s installment, Ann (Brenda Strong) learned Harris (Mitch Pileggi) couldn’t be prosecuted for kidnapping their daughter Emma (Emma Bell) and went to his home to confront him. When Harris taunted Ann, she pulled a handgun from her purse and shot him, leaving him bleeding on the floor. Since Pileggi was added to “Dallas’s” opening credits three weeks ago, it seems unlikely Harris will die. Then again, this is the new “Dallas,” where anything can happen and usually does. So who knows?

What will happen to Ann? In a chat last week with Dallas Decoder and other bloggers, Strong said Ann was in “an altered state” when she plugged Harris. The trailer for tonight’s episode shows Bobby (Patrick Duffy) being arrested for the shooting. If Ann allows her husband to take the rap for a crime she committed, does that mean she’s still out of her mind?

• Will Pamela get caught? An update on “Dallas’s” other shooting storyline: After Pamela (Julie Gonzalo) gunned down Tommy last season, she turned to Frank (Faran Tahir) to dispose of the weapon and the body. Last week, the police discovered Tommy’s blood in Pamela’s old condo, and J.R. (Larry Hagman) urged Frank to expose her role in Tommy’s death. Will he?

• John Ross and Pamela: What will J.R. and Cliff say? Pamela believes she’ll snag a percentage of Ewing Energies during her divorce from Christopher, and she promised to share her piece of the company with her new lover/partner-in-crime John Ross (Josh Henderson). Meanwhile, John Ross seems to be falling for Pamela, unaware that J.R. is out to get her. Will John Ross be forced to choose between his father and his lover – and how will Cliff (Ken Kercheval) feel when he discovers his daughter has hooked up with J.R.’s son?

Will Christopher and Elena learn the truth about John Ross? Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) is angling to win a lucrative contract to fuel the city’s municipal fleet, unaware that John Ross is trying to undermine him. Meanwhile, Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) has vowed to call in Elena’s loan if she doesn’t strike oil on the Henderson property. This prompted Elena to ask for drilling help from her brother Drew (Kuno Becker), who recently returned to town with a chip on his shoulder. What Elena doesn’t know: John Ross has bribed her foreman to sabotage the Henderson project. Will John Ross’s schemes succeed?

Where’s Becky? When Pamela got frustrated with Tommy’s demanding sister Becky (Alex McKenna), she urged Frank to pay her off once and for all. Later, Becky didn’t show up for the court hearing where she was supposed to recant her false testimony against Christopher. Did Frank run Becky out of town – or did he make her disappear forever?

What “Dallas Burning Questions” are on your mind? Share your comments below and watch TNT’s “Dallas” tonight.

TNT’s Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘A Rare and Beautiful Thing. …’

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Sins of the Father, TNT

Night visitor

In “Sins of the Father,” a second-season “Dallas” episode, Frank (Faran Tahir) enters his darkened home and finds J.R. (Larry Hagman) seated there.

J.R.: You lost a step, Frank. It’s a sad day when an old man can sneak up on a super ninja.

FRANK: What are you doing here?

J.R.: Well, I heard they found some – what do you call it? – high velocity blood splatter at Pamela Barnes’s old condo. Word is it might belong to Tommy Sutter.

FRANK: I’m no detective, but whatever they found in Pamela’s condo is Pamela’s problem.

J.R.: Well, I’m no detective either, but it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to know you clean up whatever mess Cliff asks you to. And this certainly is a mess.

FRANK: It may be hard for an old, retired fellow like you to understand this, but I’m a busy man. I don’t have time to chat.

J.R.: Well, I’m retired, but not by choice. Getting pushed out of my place at the table stung like hell. But you know how that feels, don’t you Frank? After all the jams you’ve gotten Cliff out of, to be treated like a lapdog by that spoiled princess? You’re not a Barnes, Frank. No matter how much Cliff appreciates what you’ve done, when push comes to shove, he’s going to protect his daughter. Now we both know that rich folks don’t go to jail. However, the people that clean up after them do.

FRANK: What are you suggesting?

J.R.: Tell me where the body and the gun are. I’ll make sure they pop up. You can get your place back at the Barnes Global table, and I make sure that Barnes girl doesn’t get a piece of Ewing Energies. [Smiles]

FRANK: If there were a body, the moment it appeared, Cliff would know I sold him out.

J.R.: [Chuckles] Frank, I’m J.R. Ewing. I can make a body appear in the middle of a church social without anybody knowing how it got there.

FRANK: Why should I trust you?

J.R.: Because we both want to destroy Pamela. And it’s a rare and beautiful thing when enemies share the same enemy. [Rises] I’ll be expecting your call. [Walks past him] Make it soon.