Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 194 — ‘Those Eyes’

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, Those Eyes

Get a grip

In “Those Eyes,” the Ewings finally take off their blinders where Sue Ellen’s drinking is concerned. She lands in a detox ward at the beginning of the episode, and one by one, Miss Ellie, J.R. and the people who love her most come to realize how destructive her alcoholism has become. Sue Ellen realizes this too, although she remains powerless over her addiction. In a chilling scene, when Dusty visits her in the hospital, Sue Ellen begs him for a drink. “Oh, God, no, darling,” he says, explaining that more booze would kill her. Clutching his hands, she looks into his eyes and whispers, “Kill me.”

This is a moment of reckoning for Sue Ellen, and for “Dallas” itself. Too often, the writers have used Sue Ellen’s alcoholism as a crutch to lean on whenever the show needed something to complicate the character’s life. Witness Sue Ellen’s third-season relapse, which seemed to occur primarily so she’d have a reason to not remember her whereabouts during J.R.’s shooting. Now, in the ninth season, Sue Ellen’s drinking is no longer an afterthought — it’s one of the main storylines. By showing the character trembling her way through withdrawals, we have a better sense of what it means for her to be an addict. It’s much more meaningful than merely seeing her passed out in her bedroom next to an empty vodka bottle.

No one seems to appreciate this opportunity more than Linda Gray, whose performance here is nothing less than a tour de force. “Those Eyes” was filmed in an era when television actresses were eagerly shedding their glamorous wardrobes to demonstrate their acting bona fides — think of TV movie queens like Farrah Fawcett in “The Burning Bed” and Raquel Welch in “Right to Die” — but Gray goes further than any of her peers. She looks positively wasted in “Those Eyes,” wearing little makeup and allowing every hair to fall out of place. True to the episode’s title, Gray also uses her famously expressive eyes to draw the audience into her character’s fear and confusion, although nothing touches me more than the moment Dusty arrives at the hospital and Sue Ellen shields her face. It’s such a childlike gesture; as soon as I see it, my heart breaks.

Interestingly, Gray appears in just three scenes in this episode, which means we mostly see Sue Ellen’s descent through the eyes of the other Ewings. It begins when Miss Ellie bravely enters the detox ward and is horrified to discover the Jane Doe in bed No. 13 is her daughter-in-law. In the next scene, Ellie declares she wants to take Sue Ellen home — a typical reaction for the Ewings, who always believe they can handle problems on their own. The doctor forcefully explains that no one — not even the Ewing matriarch — is powerful enough to cure addiction. Later, Ellie tells J.R. he must help his wife. This isn’t unlike a scene that occurred between J.R. and his mother at the end of the second season, except the conversation in “Those Eyes” has an air of finality to it, as if the Ewings are taking her problem more seriously.

“Those Eyes” is one of the first “Dallas” scripts from Peter Dunne, a “Knots Landing” veteran who briefly replaced Leonard Katzman as the show’s behind-the-scenes creative force. The episode is a good example of the darker, more realistic tone Dunne brings to the ninth season. Think about it: One year before this episode aired, the Ewings were “coping” with Bobby’s post-shooting blindness, which miraculously cleared up after a few episodes. Sue Ellen’s struggle in “Those Eyes” feels a lot more grounded by comparison, don’t you think? Sure, there are still plenty of soapy moments, including J.R. and Dusty’s memorable fistfight at Sue Ellen’s bedside, and the camp factor isn’t muted completely. (How else to explain the screaming woman that Sue Ellen encounters on the floor of the jail cell?) For the most part, though, “Dallas” seems a little smarter now.

Dunne’s touch also can be felt in other areas of “Those Eyes,” including the scene where J.R. sweetly helps John Ross with his necktie and the subplot about Ray and Donna deciding to build a bigger house. The latter feels like another metaphor: Steve Kanaly and Susan Howard’s characters are growing as people, so why shouldn’t they have a bigger place to call home? I also like how this episode shows Ray and Jack becoming friends; as much as I love Patrick Duffy, Dack Rambo is doing a nice job filling some of blank spaces created by Bobby’s departure. Heck, I even find myself applauding Jenna’s decision in this episode to stick around Southfork. Maybe it’s because Priscilla Beaulieu Presley’s short bob makes her look more stylish than ever — or maybe it’s because the character no longer feels like a distraction now that one half of the Bobby/Pam coupling is gone — but “Those Eyes” actually makes Jenna seem tolerable.

If you find this revelation surprising, imagine how I feel. But what can I say? They don’t call this the dream season for nothing.

Grade: A

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Dallas, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Omri Katz, Those Eyes

Ties that bind

‘THOSE EYES’

Season 9, Episode 3

Airdate: October 4, 1985

Audience: 20.4 million homes, ranking 3rd in the weekly ratings

Writer: Peter Dunne

Director: Nick Havinga

Synopsis: After the police find Sue Ellen, Miss Ellie persuades J.R. to commit her to a sanitarium. J.R. and Jeremy each set their sights on Christopher’s share of Ewing Oil. Ray and Donna begin planning to build a bigger home. Jenna decides to stay at Southfork.

Cast: Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Farlow), Fern Fitzgerald (Marilee Stone), Tony Garcia (Raoul), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Laurence Haddon (Franklin Horner), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Joshua Harris (Christopher Ewing), Jenilee Harrison (Jamie Barnes), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Harlan Jordan (Sheriff Baldwin), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Omri Katz (John Ross Ewing), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Jared Martin (Dusty Farlow), Shalane McCall (Charlie Wade), Gary Moody (Doctor), George O. Petrie (Harv Smithfield), Priscilla Beaulieu Presley (Jenna Wade), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Dack Rambo (Jack Ewing), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Sherril Lynn Rettino (Jackie), Deborah Shelton (Mandy Winger), William Smithers (Jeremy Wendell), Don Starr (Jordan Lee), Norma Young (Sanitarium manager)

“Those Eyes” is available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘I’m So Sorry’

Dallas, Deeds and Misdeeds, John Ross Ewing, Linda Gray, Omri Katz, Sue Ellen Ewing

Significant mother

In “Deeds and Misdeeds,” an eighth-season “Dallas” episode, Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) enters a hospital room, where John Ross (Omri Katz) lies in bed.

SUE ELLEN: Hello, sweetheart.

JOHN ROSS: [Turns to face her] Mama.

SUE ELLEN: [Strokes his hair] My poor baby.

JOHN ROSS: Where were you?

SUE ELLEN: Well, I’m here.

JOHN ROSS: Were you here when they operated on me?

SUE ELLEN: No. Mommy was out. I didn’t even know about the operation until it was all over.

JOHN ROSS: Oh.

SUE ELLEN: I’m so sorry. It was a mistake. Mommy should have been here.

JOHN ROSS: That’s okay. You didn’t know.

SUE ELLEN: How’s your tummy? Does it hurt?

JOHN ROSS: A little bit. But not like it did when Grandma brought me to the hospital.

SUE ELLEN: Well, it hurts right now because of the operation, but it’ll go away soon.

JOHN ROSS: I know. [Reaches up and hugs her]

SUE ELLEN: Sweetheart, easy. Don’t strain yourself. [Kisses him] I’m so sorry. Mommy should have been here so you didn’t have to go through that operation alone.

JOHN ROSS: It wasn’t your fault.

SUE ELLEN: [Crying] Yes, it was. [Kisses him] Yes, it was. I’m so sorry. [Kisses him]

Watch this scene in “Deeds and Misdeeds,” available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes, and share your comments below.

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 187 — ‘Terms of Estrangement’

Dack Rambo, Dallas, Jack Ewing, Jenilee Harrison, Terms of Estrangement

Hello, stranger

Jack Ewing is a bad boy who makes a good impression. “Terms of Estrangement” introduces the character, a long-lost cousin who comes to town offering to sell J.R. information that could undermine Cliff’s efforts to snag a piece of Ewing Oil. Is Jack telling the truth? Who knows, and who cares? The newcomer, played with roguish charm by Dack Rambo, injects an element of unpredictability into “Dallas’s” ho-hum eighth season. By the time this episode debuted in 1985, the show had added several new faces to its cast, each with mixed results. Finally, here’s one that works from the get-go.

Make no mistake: Rambo’s debut deserves to rank alongside Susan Howard’s and Howard Keel’s as one of “Dallas’s” best. Many fans never warmed to Rambo three decades ago, mostly because he was hired to replace the soon-to-depart Patrick Duffy as the show’s romantic male lead. It’s easier to judge Rambo on his own merits today. The actor has a natural charisma that makes Jack instantly appealing, even when we don’t know much about him. In “Terms of Estrangement,” he arrives as a stranger who summons J.R. to the Oil Baron’s Club and offers to help him squash Cliff’s lawsuit — in exchange for 10 percent of the company. Rambo holds his own against Larry Hagman throughout the scene, making it a fun exchange between two scoundrels. It reminds me of the first time J.R. tussled with Clayton Farlow during the fifth season. I didn’t mind seeing Clayton one-up J.R. then, and I don’t mind seeing Jack do it now. That’s as good measure of a new character’s potential as I can think of.

Rambo also is effective in this episode’s final scene, when his character unexpectedly shows up on Jamie’s doorstep. She’s packing her belongings to move and seems less than pleased to see him, and for the first few moments, it seems as if Rambo’s character is an ex-lover who’s come to upset Jamie’s relationship with Cliff. We soon discover the mystery man is Jack, Jamie’s estranged brother, a good twist that shifts the dynamics of the scene. Once we know the characters are siblings, his attempts to needle her come off as playful, not threatening. The scene ends with Jack letting her know he plans to stick around (“I kind of like it here in Dallas”), raising hopes his presence will help the series continue to recover from the Jenna Wade murder trial that dragged down the preceding episodes.

Indeed, “Terms of Estrangement” offers other signs “Dallas” is getting its act together. J.R. is crueler than ever: He ridicules Sue Ellen’s decision to join group therapy — which are held at the delightfully dippy “Institute for Advanced Awareness” — and shoves a glass of bourbon in her face, saying, “The only institute that works for you is this.” The show is always better when these characters are at war, although it’s also good to see Sue Ellen pour out the drink without taking a sip. (Her decision to dump it in a potted plant in the Southfork living room is another matter altogether.) Later, Sue Ellen and Donna — two characters who don’t interact much — commiserate about their troubled marriages over a post-midnight plate of cookies. Sue Ellen refers to their fates as “the curse of the Ewings,” prompting Donna’s poignant response (“It wasn’t supposed to happen to me”), which Susan Howard delivers with breathy perfection.

Meanwhile, Jenilee Harrison’s character continues to come into her own. In addition to her reunion with Jack, Jamie receives a surprisingly charming marriage proposal from Cliff and has a good scene with Sue Ellen. The latter begins when Jamie arrives at Southfork to mend fences with her friend, only to be told by Teresa that Sue Ellen doesn’t want to see her. Jamie refuses to take no for an answer and barges into Sue Ellen’s room, where she gives her a much-needed talking to. In a similar spirit, I love the small scene in which Sue Ellen calls John Ross out of the kitchen and tells him it’s time to go to school. With a lunchbox in one hand, Omri Katz marches around the breakfast table and receives a hug from Donna Reed, a high-five from Patrick Duffy and a pat on the bottom from Howard Keel. It’s an early glimpse of the swagger John Ross would one day exhibit on TNT’s sequel series.

“Terms of Estrangement” has its share of novelties too. Priscilla Beaulieu Presley appears only in one scene, but she now sports a stylish bob. Perhaps the hairdresser who famously gave Sue Ellen a makeover in the hospital has now worked his magic on Jenna in jail? This episode also features two actors from John Hughes movies: Lyman Ward, the dad from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” plays the airline executive who gives Bobby the tape that shows Veronica Robinson being murdered on the plane, while Paul Gleason, the principal from “The Breakfast Club,” plays the police detective who investigates the crime. (Andre Schumann, the hit man seen on the tape, is played by Rod Arrants of “Search for Tomorrow.”)

Speaking of that tape: Ward’s character tells Bobby that the airlines are beginning to install hidden cameras on planes to deter hijackings. It’s prescient — in real life, TWA Flight 847 was hijacked in Athens two months after this episode aired — and also a little silly. The tape offers a fixed, wide angle view of the plane’s interior cabin, making it look like the kind of surveillance video that one would have expected to see in the mid-1980s. However, once Schumann takes his seat next to Veronica and poisons her drink, the camera suddenly zooms in for a close-up of Schumann’s hands. It’s one of those only-on-television moments, although I wouldn’t be surprised if the cameras trained on the public today are zooming in and zooming out on us all the time.

Grade: B

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Dallas, Terms of Estrangement

Close at hand

‘TERMS OF ESTRANGEMENT’

Season 8, Episode 26

Airdate: April 12, 1985

Audience: 18.7 million homes, ranking 6th in the weekly ratings

Writer: Peter Dunne

Director: Alexander Singer

Synopsis: Jamie accepts Cliff’s marriage proposal and receives a visit from her brother Jack, who approaches J.R. and offers to sell him information that could prove Cliff and Jamie have no legal claim on Ewing Oil. Bobby uncovers videotape that shows assassin Andre Schumann murdering Veronica on the plane, but Jenna refuses to believe she’ll get out of prison. Sue Ellen begins group therapy. Lucy receives a letter from Mitch.

Cast: Rod Arrants (Andre Schumann), Roseanna Christiansen (Teresa), Pat Colbert (Dora Mae), Ben Cooper (Parris), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Paul Gleason (Lieutenant Lee Spaulding), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Jenilee Harrison (Jamie Ewing), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Omri Katz (John Ross Ewing), Stacy Keach Sr. (Waldron), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Anne C. Lucas (Cassie), Laura Malone (Janice Hopper), Priscilla Beaulieu Presley (Jenna Wade), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Dack Rambo (Jack Ewing), Donna Reed (Miss Ellie Farlow), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Sherril Lynn Rettino (Jackie Dugan), Barry Sattels (Greg Rupp), Deborah Shelton (Mandy Winger), Gail Strickland (Veronica Robinson), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing), Lyman Ward (Norman)

“Terms of Estrangement” is available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘With Family, You Play Fair’

Battle Lines, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Daddy knows best

In “Battle Lines,” an eighth-season “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) stands over John Ross (Omri Katz), who is cleaning his bike on the Southfork patio.

JOHN ROSS: Are you going to see Uncle Bobby at the hospital?

J.R.: Well, I might drop in on him this afternoon. [Looks at his watch] I’ve got an awful lot of work to do at the office.

Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) exits the house and stands on the patio, listening.

JOHN ROSS: Maybe I can go to the office and help you.

J.R.: [Chuckles] Well, that’s a good idea. Maybe we ought to wait until you’re a little older, though, huh?

JOHN ROSS: Daddy are you going to be running Ewing Oil all by yourself?

J.R.: Well, I’m just going to run it until Bobby gets back. Why do you ask that?

JOHN ROSS: Well, you said you were going to run the company all by yourself some day and then give it to me.

J.R.: Well, I couldn’t take it away from Bobby while he’s in the hospital.

JOHN ROSS: But Mama said Bobby can’t see right now.

J.R.: [Sits in a patio chair] John Ross, there’s something I want to explain to you, son. One of these days I expect to control all of Ewing Oil, and Bobby won’t work there. He’ll be doing something else. But I want you to remember that he’s my brother — and I love him very much. And it just wouldn’t be fair to take advantage of him while he’s sick. That’s just something you don’t do to people you love. But when he’s well — and able to defend his shares in Ewing Oil — well, I’m going to fight for it. And of course I’ll win. Then I’m going to give you the whole company — and you’ll never have to share it with anybody. Now you understand that?

JOHN ROSS: I think so.

J.R.: Good. And you’ve got to remember: With family, you play fair. Because there are rules to follow. And if you do, you’ll be able to live with yourself.

Watch this scene in “Battle Lines,” available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes, and share your comments below.

The Dal-List: Classic ‘Dallas’s’ 13 Most Harrowing Kidnappings

Ann Ewing, Boxed In, Brenda Strong, Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, TNT

Your turn, Annie

The Ewings discover Ann and Emma (Brenda Strong, Emma Bell) have been kidnapped in “Boxed In,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode. Fortunately, our favorite TV family has plenty of experience dealing with this kind of thing. Here’s a look at the 13 most harrowing kidnappings from the original series.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Greg Evigan, Lucy Ewing, Willie Gust

Far out!

13. Lucy (1978). When the Ewings refused to let Valene come to Lucy’s birthday party, Lucy ran away from Southfork and hitched a ride with Willie Gust (Greg Evigan) — and who can blame her? Willie had the tightest jeans, the most feathery hair and the grooviest custom van in Texas, right down to the wall-to-wall fake-fur carpeting. Too bad Willie was also a lunatic who ended up taking Lucy (Charlene Tilton) on a cross-Texas crime spree. Bobby rescued her, of course, but we never found out what happened to Willie. Was he really as psychotic as he seemed? Or were those jeans merely cutting off the circulation to his brain?

Dallas, John Ross Ewing

J.R. Duncan

12. John Ross (1979). Hey, remember when Sue Ellen nipped a little too much from her “special bottle” of Scope, escaped from the sanitarium, wrecked her car and gave birth to John Ross? And remember how Priscilla Duncan (Sheila Larken) quietly snatched the baby from the hospital? And then remember how happy we all were when Pam figured out what happened and reunited J.R. and Sue Ellen with their son? Well, hindsight being what it is, am I the only one who now thinks John Ross might have been better off with Ms. Duncan? Sure, she was nuts, but think of all the daddy issues the kid would’ve avoided.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Who shut up J.R.?

11. J.R. Ex-mobster Joseph Lombardi wanted answers when his son Nick Pearce plunged to his death after tussling with J.R. (Larry Hagman) on a high-rise balcony, so Lombardi sent his goons after our hero. They bound and gagged J.R. and brought him to a cheap motel, where Lombardi grilled him about the night Nick died. J.R. insisted it was all an accident — and fortunately Sue Ellen confirmed his account, prompting Lombardi to release him. It was cool to see Hagman act opposite the great Joseph Campanella, and we have to give Lombardi props for stand up to ol’ J.R. But would I want to see him kidnapped again? Fahgettaboudit.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy

Cuff him if you can

10. Bobby. “Dallas” has given us a lot of credibility-stretching storylines over the years (cough, cough Haleyville), but you know what I’ll never believe? I’ll never believe that Bobby James Ewing (Patrick Duffy) — that strapping, hunk of Grade A Texas beefcake — could be outmuscled by the clowns who kidnapped him during the middle of the show’s second season. For goodness sakes, Bobby is the kind of guy who can take on a barroom full of drunk cowboys and walk away without a scratch. The only thing more ridiculous than seeing him abducted is seeing the Ewings turn to Cliff Barnes to rescue him!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Darlin’ detained

9. Sue Ellen. Oh, for the love of Pete. Sue Ellen, what have you gone and done now? Did you really allow that creep B.D. Calhoun to slip you a mickey so he could photograph himself with you and send the pictures to J.R.? Didn’t you learn not to trust strange men during Pam’s dream the previous season? Actually, even though Sue Ellen should have known better, this subplot marked the beginning of a turning point in her marriage: Once J.R. vanquished Calhoun, he felt so bad about what happened to his family, he finally kicked that Winger tramp to the curb. Hmmm. On second thought, maybe Sue Ellen knew what she was doing all along.

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Welcome to the jungle

8. Pam. When an old back injury flared up during “Dallas’s” ninth season, Victoria Principal took a break from the show, leaving the writers scrambling to explain her absence. Their solution? Have Pam kidnapped by jungle mercenaries, of course! The subplot proves surprisingly effective, especially when we see Cliff’s determination to rescue his sister. (Their reunion after the bad guys release her is one of many great scenes between Principal and Ken Kercheval.) Looking back, I can’t help but wonder: Why couldn’t “Dallas” come up with a good storyline to explain Principal’s absence when she left the show for good two years later?

Dallas, Daniel Pilon, Jenna Wade, Priscilla Beaulieu Presley

Take her. Please.

7. Jenna. When Jenna (Priscilla Beaulieu Presley) fled Dallas on the day she was supposed to marry Bobby, she left behind a note that explained she had fallen in love with someone else and was running away. Except that wasn’t true: Jenna’s ex Renaldo Marchetta (Daniel Pilon) had kidnapped her and forced her to pen the letter to throw the Ewings off their trail. When this storyline aired during the winter and spring of 1985, I spent weeks on the edge of my seat, anxious to see how it would turn out. Little did I know things would end on such a tragic note, when Dreadful Jenna™ returned to Southfork. Oh, the humanity!

B.D. Calhoun, Dallas, Hunter von Leer, John Ross Ewing, Omri Katz

Captive audience

6. John Ross (1986). Here we go again. After B.D. Calhoun (Hunter von Leer) kidnapped and released Sue Ellen, he set his sights on John Ross (Omri Katz), J.R. and Sue Ellen’s son. Calhoun snatched the kid from a hotel pool in Los Angeles, where J.R. and Bobby sent their wives and boys to protect them from the threat Calhoun posed. The crazed mercenary forced little John Ross to make a hostage tape, which turned Sue Ellen into a blubbering mess when she watched it. Fear not, honey: The Ewing brothers eventually rescued John Ross, who would grow up to star alongside Emma Ryland in a much different kind of video.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Lucy Ewing

Gagged, reeling

5. Lucy (1982). Well, what do you know? Lucy’s been kidnapped yet again. This time, the culprit is Roger Larson, the photographer who helped turn her into Texas’s tiniest top model. Unlike most of the other kidnappings on this list, Roger didn’t abduct Lucy for ransom or revenge — he was obsessed with her. He kept the Ewing heiress locked in a room plastered with the pictures he took of her. (Do stalkers do this in real life, or only on TV?) Bobby and Pam eventually rescued Lucy, but not before Pam told off Roger in one of Principal’s best scenes. Gee, like Sue Ellen, maybe Lucy should’ve gotten kidnapped more often too.

Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, Valene Ewing

Feet first

4. Lucy (Early 1960s). Lucy’s first kidnapping is an integral part of “Dallas” lore. It’s mentioned in the first episode, when Lucy recalls how J.R.’s “old boys” snatched her from Valene’s arms when she was a baby and brought her to Southfork to be raised by Jock and Miss Ellie. We finally saw the kidnapping in a “Knots Landing” flashback, where we learned the ugly mess probably could’ve been prevented: No, I’m not referring to the fact that Lillimae refused to let Val (Joan Van Ark) into her shack when J.R.’s henchmen were chasing her. I’m talking about the fact Val was barefoot when she was trying to outrun them. Good grief, Val. Buy some shoes.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, Tyler Banks

Carry on

3. John Ross (1981). When Sue Ellen and John Ross went to live at the Southern Cross, J.R. was determined to get his boy back. He saw an opportunity when Sue Ellen took the child with her to Kristin’s funeral in New Mexico. Mother and son were gliding through a Love Field terminal when two of J.R.’s thugs approached. While one man distracted Sue Ellen, the other snatched the child. Suddenly, Dusty Farlow and a trio of Southern Cross cowboys swarmed the dude holding John Ross. “Give us the boy,” Dusty demanded — and of course the guy did. This might have been “Dallas’s” briefest abduction, but wasn’t it exciting!

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

Trunk show

2. Miss Ellie. Look everybody, Donna’s here! What’s wrong, Donna? You seem upset. What’s that, you say? Jessica called Dusty and told him Clayton’s wedding to Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) is off? And then Jessica knocked you out with the phone? And then she stole your car? And then she took Mama?! Geez, Donna, couldn’t you have given us that last bit of information first? No matter. Between Susan Howard’s pained delivery and Richard Lewis Warren’s tension-building score, the scene where the Ewings discover Mama has been abducted by loony tune Jessica is positively thrilling — even if Donna did bury the lede.

April Ewing, Dallas, Sheree J. Wilson

Grand theft auto

1. April. Every abduction on this list ends happily for the victim — except this one. The original “Dallas” kicked off its final season with the kidnapping of April (Sheree J. Wilson) during her Parisian honeymoon with Bobby. The storyline was a little complicated — the culprit was Hillary Taylor (Susan Lucci), a mystery woman who took April so she could assume her identity and make a big speech at an OPEC conference — and yet it was also a dramatic thrill ride. Fans expected Bobby to get his bride back by the time all was said and done — and so imagine our surprise when she was gunned down at the conference. It was a hell of a way to start the original show’s last season, telegraphing to the audience that this would be the year anything could happen on “Dallas” — and damn near did.

Which kidnapping did you find most harrowing on “Dallas”? Share your thoughts below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

#DallasChat Daily: What’s Your Favorite ‘Dallas’ Wedding?

April Stevens Ewing, Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Cally Harper Ewing, Cathy Podewell, Cliff Barnes, Dallas, J. Eddie Peck, Jim Davis, Joan Van Ark, Jock Ewing, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow, Omri Katz, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Sheree J. Wilson, Sue Ellen Ewing, Tommy McKay, Valene Ewing, Victoria Principal

Everyone loves the weddings on the original “Dallas.” Do you have a favorite?

Was it Lucy and Mitch’s 1981 extravaganza, or Miss Ellie and Clayton’s understated 1984 affair? How about J.R. and Sue Ellen’s remarriage in 1982, or Bobby and Pam’s second-time-around in 1986? Perhaps you prefer J.R. and Cally’s union in 1989, or Bobby and April’s 1990 nuptials?

Your #DallasChat Daily question: What’s your favorite “Dallas” wedding?

Share your comments below and join other #DallasChat Daily discussions.

Dallas Parallels: Teach Your Children Well

Battle Lines, Dallas, False Confessions, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

J.R. imparts a lot of wisdom to John Ross over the years — and like all fathers, sometimes he has to repeat himself before the lessons sink in.

In “Battle Lines,” one of the original “Dallas’s” eighth-season episodes, J.R. is leaving for work when he runs into John Ross on the Southfork patio. The little boy has heard Uncle Bobby is in the hospital after being shot and wants to know if Daddy is going to take control of Ewing Oil now that Bobby is sick.

J.R. sits in a patio chair, looks John Ross in the eye and gently explains that’s not how he operates. “There’s something I want to explain to you, son,” J.R. says. “One of these days I expect to control all of Ewing Oil, and Bobby won’t work there. He’ll be doing something else. But I want you to remember that he’s my brother — and I love him very much. And it just wouldn’t be fair to take advantage of him while he’s sick. That’s just something you don’t do to the people you love.”

This is a sweet father-son moment and a nice reminder that J.R. has limits. But how much of an impression does his lesson make on John Ross?

In “False Confessions,” one of TNT’s second-season “Dallas” episodes, Bobby is once again involved in a shooting — except this time, Bobby has been accused of gunning down archenemy Harris Ryland. The shooting occurs while J.R. and John Ross are plotting to seize control of Ewing Energies, and so John Ross suggests using Bobby’s arrest to gain leverage against him in their takeover scheme.

Once again, J.R. sets his son straight — but this time, he’s not as nice about it as he was when John Ross was a child. “You still got a lot to learn, boy. When the family’s in trouble, we don’t take advantage,” J.R. says.

To be fair, J.R. doesn’t always play by this rule, as Bobby and the other Ewings would surely attest. One example: In the TNT episode “Family Business,” when J.R. resists John Ross’s plea to give Southfork back to the cancer-stricken Bobby, J.R. snaps, “You’re confusing emotion with business.”

So much for not taking advantage of family, huh? Then again, this is J.R. Ewing we’re talking about. Of course he’s going to break the rules — even his own.

‘It Just Wouldn’t Be Fair to Take Advantage’

Battle Lines, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Play fair

In “Battle Lines,” an eighth-season “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) stands over John Ross (Omri Katz), who is cleaning his bike on the Southfork patio.

JOHN ROSS: Are you going to see Uncle Bobby at the hospital?

J.R.: Well, I might drop in on him this afternoon. [Looks at his watch] I’ve got an awful lot of work to do at the office.

Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) exits the house and stands on the patio, listening.

JOHN ROSS: Maybe I can go to the office and help you.

J.R.: [Chuckles] Well, that’s a good idea. Maybe we ought to wait until you’re a little older, though, huh?

JOHN ROSS: Daddy are you going to be running Ewing Oil all by yourself?

J.R.: Well, I’m just going to run it until Bobby gets back. Why do you ask that?

JOHN ROSS: Well, you said you were going to run the company all by yourself some day and then give it to me.

J.R.: Well, I couldn’t take it away from Bobby while he’s in the hospital.

JOHN ROSS: But Mama said Bobby can’t see right now.

J.R.: [Sits in a patio chair] John Ross, there’s something I want to explain to you, son. One of these days I expect to control all of Ewing Oil, and Bobby won’t work there. He’ll be doing something else. But I want you to remember that he’s my brother — and I love him very much. And it just wouldn’t be fair to take advantage of him while he’s sick. That’s just something you don’t do to people you love. But when he’s well — and able to defend his shares in Ewing Oil — well, I’m going to fight for it. And of course I’ll win. Then I’m going to give you the whole company — and you’ll never have to share it with anybody. Now you understand that?

JOHN ROSS: I think so.

J.R.: Good. And you’ve got to remember: With family, you play fair. Because there are rules to follow. And if you do, you’ll be able to live with yourself.

‘When the Family’s in Trouble, We Don’t Take Advantage’

Dallas, False Confessions, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Fair play

In “False Confessions,” a second-season “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) is standing at his bedroom window, ending a phone call, when John Ross (Josh Henderson) enters.

JOHN ROSS: What’s going on?

J.R.: Bobby got arrested for shooting Harris Ryland.

JOHN ROSS: You serious? [Steps forward] You think that will help us get him out of Ewing Energies?

J.R.: You still got a lot to learn, boy. [Slides his cell phone in his pocket] When the family’s in trouble, we don’t take advantage.

JOHN ROSS: You got a problem with me?

J.R.: You damn right I do. [Steps forward] I hear you’ve been cavorting with Pamela Barnes. What do fathers say? I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed? Well, I am both.

JOHN ROSS: Who I cavort with ain’t none of your business.

J.R.: It is when her last name is Barnes. [Sits] What do you want with Christopher’s scraps anyway?

JOHN ROSS: I’m working her.

J.R.: And apparently not learning from your mistakes. You already got in bed with one crazy woman in that Marta. Not a good idea to get in bed with another one.

JOHN ROSS: I’ve got a plan to get her shares of Ewing Energies after the divorce.

J.R.: You let that Barnes girl get a piece of our company and you’re inviting a vampire into our home. She’ll suck the life out of us. That’s why I’ve seen to it that there won’t be a divorce.

JOHN ROSS: How’s that?

J.R.: I made a deal with Cliff’s man Frank. We’ve got a plan to take Pamela out of the picture.

JOHN ROSS: You must be getting senile in your old age, Daddy, because I’m the one calling the shots here. Remember?

J.R.: You asked me to teach you every dirty trick I know so we can take Ewing Energies. I teach by example.

JOHN ROSS: What do you and Frank plan on doing to Pamela?

J.R.: You got feelings for this girl?

JOHN ROSS: No.

J.R.: Then why do you care?

What do you think of the lesson J.R. teaches John Ross? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Parallels.”

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘Southfork Should Be Yours’

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Omri Katz, Quality of Mercy

Lessons from Daddy

In “The Quality of Mercy,” a seventh-season “Dallas” episode, John Ross (Omri Katz) is lying in bed when J.R. (Larry Hagman) enters the room.

J.R.: You still awake?

JOHN ROSS: Yes, Daddy.

J.R.: Want me to tuck you in?

JOHN ROSS: Yes.

J.R.: [Kneels beside the bed, adjusts the blanket] You had a good day at camp?

JOHN ROSS: Yes, but there’s a bigger boy there that’s mean to me.

J.R.: [Concerned] Mean to you? What’s his name?

JOHN ROSS: I don’t know.

J.R.: Well, I’ll tell you what. You find out his daddy’s name and I’ll see what I can do about getting him kicked out of camp — and maybe out of Dallas. I’m not going to have anybody picking on my boy.

JOHN ROSS: Peter talked to him, and he said he wouldn’t be mean anymore.

J.R.: Oh, Peter did, did he? Well, that’s good. That’s good. But the one person you come to when you’re in trouble is your daddy. You remember that. I’ll make everything good for you. Matter of fact, I’ll make everybody happy around here. I’m going to make your Uncle Bobby happy by making sure that he won’t have to worry about running Ewing Oil. And that’ll make your mama happy, seeing that we’re not fighting anymore. Well, and then I have a feeling that pretty soon, Uncle Bobby’s going to be leaving Southfork too. And that’ll leave everything for me — and for you. That’d be fun, huh?

JOHN ROSS: I guess so.

J.R.: No, son. No, that’s one thing you’ve got to be sure of. Ewing Oil and Southfork should be yours. And I’m going to get ’em for you. [Smiles, kisses him on the forehead] Night now.

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 132 — ‘The Road Back’

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy, Road Back

What hath they wrought?

With “The Road Back,” “Dallas” delivers the first hour of its seventh season and the most thrilling opening in its history. It begins with a nighttime shot of Southfork, which looks familiar against the dark sky except for the flames shooting out of the roof. Director Nick Havinga then brings us inside the house, where we find the occupants right where we left them at the end of “Ewing Inferno,” the previous season’s cliffhanger: Sue Ellen and John Ross are asleep in their beds, each unaware of the smoke filling their rooms; Ray is unconscious in the foyer; and J.R. has collapsed in a hallway. Next, we see Bobby zipping down Braddock Road in his red convertible. When he spots the blaze, he slows down and stares for a moment. “Oh, my God,” he says.

And then, the rescue sequence: As Jerrold Immel’s underscore surges, Bobby guns the car down the driveway and screeches to a halt near the garage. He leaps out of the vehicle and dives into the swimming pool, then runs into the house, where he finds Ray awakening. Together, the two men race upstairs and drag the dazed J.R. down the hall and through the doors to the balcony. Bobby and Ray go back into the house and retrieve Sue Ellen and John Ross, and when they return to the terrace, Ray orders everyone into the pool below. With sirens wailing in the background, J.R. cradles the screaming John Ross and jumps into the water.

When I revisited “The Road Back” for this critique, I had no doubt these scenes would retain their emotional value, but I was surprised by how well they hold up from a technical perspective. The wide shots of the burning house look a little crude by today’s standards, but they still work. Likewise, the scenes inside the home are as chaotic and scary now as they were three decades ago. “Dallas” producer Leonard Katzman built replicas of the Southfork sets so he could burn them down, so those are real flames you see surrounding Patrick Duffy, Steve Kanaly and Larry Hagman. I’m guessing “The Road Back’s” opening was filmed at the same time as the final scenes in “Ewing Inferno,” although if it turned out Katzman staged one fire for the cliffhanger and another for the resolution, I wouldn’t be surprised. This man had a DeMillian appreciation for spectacle.

“The Road Back” also includes a fantastic scene where Bobby summons J.R. to a Southfork pasture to broker a truce between him and Ray, whose beef with J.R. caused the fire in the first place. Ray angrily reminds J.R. how he made an enemy of Walt Driscoll, the vengeful bureaucrat who tried to kill J.R. but ended up injuring Ray’s cousin Mickey instead. J.R. responds by pointing out that Bobby and Ray had a hand in ruining Driscoll too. “None of us have clean hands, boys. None of us,” J.R. says, and for once, he isn’t twisting the truth. In another poignant moment, J.R. and Bobby stand inside the charred Southfork living room and survey the damage. “We sure made a mess out of everything. Ewing Oil, Southfork, the family. Every damn thing,” J.R. says. It’s nice to see him humbled for a change, no?

I also like the scenes in “The Road Back” that show J.R being nice to the embittered Sue Ellen, not just because it’s good to see his compassionate side, but also because it allows Linda Gray to deliver some terrific zingers. In my favorite exchange, J.R. gets a call from Bobby and rushes out of the hotel room where he’s staying with his wife and son. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” J.R. says. “Don’t remind me,” Sue Ellen responds. Later, when J.R. encourages Sue Ellen to get some rest, she turns to Pam and quips, “Isn’t it wonderful how thoughtful he can be when he’s caught with his boots parked under the wrong bed?”

(J.R. and Sue Ellen’s dynamic here brings to mind the third-season opener “Whatever Happened to Baby John, Part 1,” when he makes a sincere attempt to patch up his broken marriage, only to discover she’s unwilling to forgive him. Other scenes in “The Road Back” also harken to earlier “Dallas” moments. For example, when J.R. drives away from his meeting with Bobby and Ray, the shot of his Mercedes rolling across the Southfork plains recalls a similar shot at the end of “Digger’s Daughter.” Also, during “The Road Back’s” cattle drive sequence, we hear Ray speak on his walkie-talkie to Hal, a ranch hand seen during the first season, while Miss Ellie and Clayton spend this episode at Lake Takapa, the subject of a major fourth-season storyline.)

Of course, even though the tragic events of the previous season reveal J.R.’s humanity in “The Road Back,” this episode makes it clear he hasn’t been fully redeemed. In one scene, he schemes with Katherine Wentworth to ensure Bobby and Pam don’t reunite. Later, after Sue Ellen delivers her “boots-parked-under-the-wrong-bed” remark, J.R. and Pam get into a nasty spat. (J.R.: “I’ve never heard a woman open her mouth more and say less.”) His most mischievous moment comes in the final scene, when J.R. and Bobby visit Harv Smithfield and tell him they want to call off their fight for Ewing Oil. I believe J.R. feels genuine regret, but when Harv tells the brothers that it’s legally impossible to end their contest, notice the slight, ever-so-subtle smile that break across J.R.’s face. My guess is this is Hagman’s way of signaling to the audience that even though J.R. feels bad about everything that’s transpired, he’s glad he’s going to have a chance to beat Bobby after all.

“The Road Back” also offers the classic scene where Pam takes Sue Ellen to a French fashion boutique to rebuild her wardrobe after the fire, only to watch in horror as Sue Ellen lustily accepts the glass of champagne offered by snooty Madam Claude. Says Sue Ellen when Pam suggests they should leave: “Pam, don’t be a nag.” This episode is also chockablock with casting trivia: Omri Katz makes his first appearance as John Ross; Dan Ammerman, who originated the role of Ewing family physician Dr. Danvers in the second-season episode “Bypass,” shows up here as the Farlows’ doctor; and daytime soap opera star Stephen Nichols (“Days of Our Lives,” “General Hospital”) and Fox News Channel anchor Arthel Neville have bit roles.

“The Road Back” also marks the debut of my favorite version of the “Dallas” title sequence music, the one that features the synthesized riff when the signature three-way split screens begin. The sound effect is pure ’80s, which his probably why I love it so. “The Road Back” is also the first “Dallas” episode to feature the work of cinematographer Bradford May, whose camerawork gives the show a rich, textured look. It’s a dramatic contrast from other years, especially toward the end of “Dallas’s” run, when the show looks flat and washed out. Sadly, May is with “Dallas” for just 27 episodes. I’m not sure why he didn’t last the whole seventh season — there are conflicting explanations for his departure — but one thing is certain: Thanks to him, “Dallas” finally looks as good as it is.

Grade: A

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Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Omri Katz, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

Hot heir

‘THE ROAD BACK’

Season 7, Episode 1

Airdate: September 30, 1983

Audience: 23 million homes, ranking 2nd in the weekly ratings

Writer: Arthur Bernard Lewis

Director: Nick Havinga

Synopsis: Bobby rescues J.R., Sue Ellen, John Ross and Ray from the fire and later brokers a truce between his feuding brothers. J.R. and Bobby tell Harv they want to call off the contest, but Harv informs them it’s legally impossible. Sue Ellen discovers the car accident wasn’t her fault. Mickey emerges from his coma. Mark fears the fire will reunite Bobby and Pam, while J.R. and Katherine agree to work together to keep them apart. Clayton tells the Ewings that Miss Ellie needs rest and won’t return to Southfork for awhile.

Cast: Dan Ammerman (Neal), Mary Armstrong (Louise), John Beck (Mark Graison), Morgan Brittany (Katherine Wentworth), John Devlin (Clouse), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Eric Farlow (Christopher Ewing), Dana Gibson (Ellison), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Gloria Hocking (Madam Claude), Anna Kathryn Holbrook (Ann), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Omri Katz (John Ross Ewing), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Betty King (Groves), Kay E. Kuter (Sampson), Michael Krueger (Henri), Timothy Patrick Murphy (Mickey Trotter), Arthel Neville (waitress), Stephen Nichols (paramedic), George O. Petrie (Harv Smithfield), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Kate Reid (Lil Trotter), David Sanderson (Buck), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing)

“The Road Back” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Dallas Cliffhanger Classics: Season 6

Dallas Decoder celebrates “Dallas’s” classic cliffhangers with weekly summertime flashbacks. Collect all 14 images and share them with your friends.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Omri Katz, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly, Sue Ellen Ewing