The Dal-List: 15 Great ‘Dallas’ Scenes Featuring Larry Hagman

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Once and future king

Larry Hagman made magic every time he appeared on “Dallas,” so coming up with a definitive list of his greatest scenes feels like an impossible task. Instead, let’s just call this a list of 15 performances I love.

Dallas, Digger's Daughter, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

The rose and the briar

15. Welcome to the family. On the day Bobby brings Pam (Victoria Principal) home to Southfork and introduces her as his new bride, J.R. cheerfully takes her outside for a pre-dinner tour of Miss Ellie’s garden, where he offers Pam a bribe to “annul this farce.” When Bobby approaches with a concerned look on his face, J.R. explains he’s just “talking a little business” with his new sister-in-law. “Mama don’t like business talk with supper on the table,” Bobby says. “Well, you know Mama. She’s so old-fashioned,” J.R. responds with a chuckle. It was the first time we heard his mischievous laugh, and it signaled the arrival of a different kind of villain. (“Digger’s Daughter”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

The smiling cobra

14. Poor Cliff. When his latest underhanded deal goes awry, J.R. is forced to sign over ownership of one of the original Ewing Oil fields to Cliff. “I can’t believe it,” Cliff says as he reclines in his chair. “After all these years, I finally whipped J.R. Ewing.” It’s a measure of J.R.’s power that we don’t feel happy for Ken Kercheval’s character at this moment. We feel sorry for him because we know this is a temporary setback for J.R. To wit: When Kercheval delivers the line about “finally” whipping J.R., Hagman responds with a slight smile. It’s more unnerving – and oddly, more satisfying – than any dialogue the writers might have come up with. (“Five Dollars a Barrel”)

Dallas, Joan Van Ark,J.R. Ewing, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman, Valene Ewing

Friendly enemies

13. There goes the neighborhood. When the residents of Knots Landing decide to fight Ewing Oil’s plan to drill near the local beach, J.R. comes to town to squelch the protest. Seeing this larger-than-life Texan in suburbia is a hoot. In one great scene, a frazzled Valene telephones Gary at work while cucumber-cool J.R. pulls a book off her kitchen shelf and flips through it. “I just love cookbooks,” he says. In another golden moment, J.R. takes a bite of the sandwich Val has just served him. “Hey, that is good. What do you call this?” he asks. “Tuna fish,” she hisses. Rarely have Hagman’s comedic sensibilities – and his crackling chemistry with Joan Van Ark – been put to better use. (“Community Spirit”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Secrets cry aloud

12. Here comes Kristin. My favorite Southfork dinner scene: The Ewings are entertaining Sue Ellen’s visiting mother Patricia and younger sister Kristin, who has barely concealed her attraction to J.R. When Kristin announces she’s considering putting off going to college, J.R. suggests she could fill in for his honeymooning secretary Louella. And instead of having Kristin stay at Southfork, J.R. recommends putting her up in the company-owned condo. In other words: J.R. sets up his soon-to-be-mistress with a job and a love nest, right in front of his whole family. No wonder Hagman looks like he’s having the time of his life playing this role. (“The Kristin Affair”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Truth and consequences

11. Sock it to him. My favorite Southfork cocktail hour: Ellie worries Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) didn’t get enough to eat at dinner. “She gets all the nourishment she needs from this,” J.R. says, waving around a liquor bottle. Next target: Pam. “She’s cracking up, slowly and surely. And who can blame her? I mean, she finds out that her daddy, Digger Barnes, is no relation at all. … And her mother’s a whore!” Bobby responds by punching J.R., and even though we know he deserves it, we kind of feel sorry for him. This was Hagman’s genius: Despite the awful things J.R. said, the actor delivered his lines with such joy, you couldn’t help but root for him. (“The Wheeler Dealer”)

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Miss Ellie Ewing

Mama dearest

10. He’s got your back, Mama. Hagman often said he only accepted the role of J.R. after the “Dallas” producers told him they had cast Barbara Bel Geddes as his mother. I believe it. Every time these two appeared together on camera, you could feel Hagman’s reverence for her. (Fun fact: Bel Geddes was just nine years older than Hagman.) In this terrific scene, J.R. stands behind Miss Ellie as she chastises the cartel for taking advantage of one of Ewing Oil’s misfortunes. Hagman doesn’t have a single line of dialogue here, but he doesn’t need one. Sometimes great acting means knowing when to let your co-star have the spotlight. (“Waterloo at Southfork”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Call waiting

9. Strike! J.R. is down because he hasn’t hit a gusher in Southeast Asia. The phone rings. “It’s the Associated Press,” Kristin announces. “They want to know something about an oil well.” Line 2 buzzes. This call is from Hank, J.R.’s man in the Orient. “Where the hell have you been?” J.R. demands as he takes the receiver. In the background: A drumbeat builds. Slow, steady. Bum. Bum. Bum. Finally, J.R. exclaims, “Yee-ha! We hit!” This scene is brilliant because it mimics a gusher: The news about J.R.’s strike trickles in before his joyful rupture. Hagman directed the sequence, proving he was just as clever behind the camera as he was in front of it. (“Mother of the Year”)

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Omri Katz

The legacy

8. “This is Ewing Oil.” When J.R. finally goes too far with one of his schemes, the Justice Department forces the Ewings to sell their company. J.R. is giving John Ross one last look around the office when Jeremy Wendell, Ewing Oil’s new owner, enters and orders father and son off the premises. “Take this eyesore with you,” Wendell says as he reaches for Jock’s portrait. “Wendell!” J.R. shouts. “Touch that painting and I’ll kill where you stand.” Hagman takes the picture off the wall, holds it aloft and – with trumpets sounding in the background – says to young co-star Omri Katz, “John Ross, this is Ewing Oil.” The boy smiles. So do we. (“Fall of the House of Ewing”)

Dallas, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, J.R. Ewing, Sue Ellen Ewing

Lest the truth be known

7. Out of the frying pan… J.R. is fixing his breakfast plate in the Southfork dining room when he notices Jock comforting a distraught Miss Ellie. It seems Bobby has just told them he’s leaving the ranch because he’s fed up with J.R.’s dirty deeds. That’s when Sue Ellen chimes in, pointing out J.R. has driven away another Ewing brother. Dumb move, darlin’. J.R. responds with a vicious tirade, calling his wife a “drunk and an unfit mother” and announcing it’s time to send her back to the sanitarium. This is J.R. at his most menacing – which is remarkable since Hagman holds a strip of bacon the whole time he delivers J.R.’s venom-filled speech. (“A House Divided”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT

Sins of the father

6. Another close shave. An adult John Ross is in a barbershop getting shaved while J.R. tells him a story that demonstrates how J.R. loved – and feared – Jock. Quietly, J.R. takes the razor from the barber, holds it to John Ross’s neck, yanks off the towel covering his son’s face and reveals he knows the younger man is planning to double-cross him in their scheme to seize Southfork. Then J.R. says, “I don’t blame you for trying to screw me. I was never much of a father during your formative years. And I’d like to make up for that.” As J.R., Hagman could be tough, but he could also be very tender – sometimes all at once, as this scene demonstrates. (“The Price You Pay”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Revelations

5. Tears for Sue Ellen. After J.R. has a very pregnant, very alcoholic Sue Ellen committed to the sanitarium, our heroine escapes, steals a car, wrecks it and goes into premature labor. With the lives of both Sue Ellen and newborn John Ross hanging in the balance, J.R. sits with Bobby at his wife’s hospital bedside and recalls happier times. He concludes his moving monologue by saying, “Oh, Bobby. She’s got to live. She’s just got to.” With this line, Hagman purses his lips, shuts his tear-filled eyes and bows his head. It’s an early glimpse of J.R.’s humanity – and one of the few times the character cries on camera. (“John Ewing III, Part 2”)

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy

The brothers Ewing

4. Mourning Daddy. Jock’s death sends J.R. into a deep depression. He stops shaving, stops showing up for Ewing family dinners and even stops showing up for work. Finally, Bobby (Patrick Duffy) has enough. Barging into J.R.’s bedroom, Bobby yanks him off the bed, drags him across the room, makes him look at himself in the mirror and reminds him their Daddy built the company not just for them, but also for their children. “It’ll never be the same, Bob,” J.R. responds. Hagman’s delivery of this line never fails to move me. Before this moment, we’d seen J.R. break a lot of hearts. This time, he broke ours. (“Head of the Family”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Daddy’s little darlin’

3. Welcome to fatherhood. For months after John Ross’s birth, J.R. all but ignored the child because he secretly suspected Cliff is the father. Cliff thought the same thing and eventually filed a lawsuit to gain custody, prompting him and J.R. to take blood tests to determine the child’s paternity once and for all. On the night of one of Miss Ellie’s charity dinners, the results come in and prove J.R. is, in fact, the father. Armed with this knowledge, our tuxedo-clad hero enters the Southfork nursery, picks up his son, holds him close and kisses him. No dialogue is spoken. None is needed. The look on Hagman’s face – pride, relief, joy – says it all. (“Paternity Suit”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

The Ewing touch

2. Reminiscing. After a long day at work, J.R. comes home and finds Sue Ellen asleep in John Ross’s nursery, having dozed off while rocking him. She awakens and helps J.R. put the boy in his crib, and then the couple moves into their bedroom, where they recall their courtship. The dialogue beautifully captures the unique qualities Hagman and Gray bring to their roles. (Sue Ellen on J.R.’s eyes: “They always seemed to be hiding secrets. Things you knew about the world that no one else knew.”) The conversation also reminds us J.R. is not a hateful man. He loves many people, and none more than Sue Ellen. Theirs is the greatest – and most complicated – romance Texas has ever known. (“New Beginnings”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT

True confessions

1. Brotherly love. J.R. finally does the right thing when he ends the war for Southfork and returns ownership of the ranch to Bobby, but the drama isn’t over: Bobby suffers a seizure and is taken to the hospital for emergency surgery. Standing at his brother’s hospital bedside, J.R. holds Bobby’s hand and pleads with him to wake up. “I’m going to tell you something you never heard me say before,” J.R. says. “I love you, Bobby, and I don’t know who I’d be without you.” With this line, J.R. acknowledges what the audience has always known: He’s incapable of checking his own worst impulses; he needs Bobby to do it for him. This is a deeply moving moment in its own right, but it takes on added poignancy now that we know Duffy was at Hagman’s side when he died. It’s also comforting to know J.R.’s greatest fear – having to face life without his beloved baby brother – will never be realized. How sad for us, though, that we must now face a world without Larry Hagman. (“Revelations”)

What do you consider J.R. Ewing’s greatest moments? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dallas Decoder Guide to Entertaining, Ewing Style

Party on

The holidays are here and that means one thing: It’s party time! Martha Stewart will tell you the secret to successful entertaining is to always make your guests feel comfortable – but to hell with that. If you want to host a really memorable affair, let the Ewings be your guide.

Always on his back

The guest list: Put some thought into it. Do you have a mortal enemy who is obsessed with revenge against your family? By all means, move that person to the top of your invite list. No matter what Cliff (Ken Kercheval) did to the Ewings – he once prosecuted Jock for murder!– Miss Ellie never stopped inviting him to family functions. Why? Because she knew she could count on Cliff to enliven every soiree. Remember the time he incited a mob at a Southfork barbecue? Or the brawl he started at J.R. and Sue Ellen’s wedding reception? Of course you do. Face it: A day or two after your event, no one will remember how pretty your table centerpiece looked. But offer your guests some Cliff-style theatrics and you’ll create memories that’ll last a lifetime.

Off the wagon, in the doghouse

It’s all about tradition. Folks love to get together during the holidays to reminisce – and no one appreciated a stroll down memory lane more than Jock (Jim Davis). When Digger (David Wayne) showed up at one of the Southfork barbecues, Jock waxed nostalgic, recalling the collapse of their partnership decades earlier. He concluded his history lesson by declaring Digger had “been a loser every day of his life,” which sent the recovering alcoholic straight off the wagon. Jock’s tongue-lashing angered Miss Ellie and Pam (Barbara Bel Geddes, Victoria Principal), but Jock suspected the only reason Digger came to the party in the first place was to find an excuse to resume boozing. And as Jock told his family, “I generally try to accommodate my guests.”

Time to go, darlin’

Drink up! Memories shouldn’t be the only thing that flows at your gathering. The Ewings knew a little alcohol could really help guests loosen up and get in a celebratory spirit. For this, we have Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) to thank. Remember when she got tipsy at a Southfork barbecue and blabbed to everyone the intimate details of her marriage? How about the time the Ewings held a bash at the Oil Barons Club and Sue Ellen passed out after taking a nip or two (or three or six) of vodka? Then there was the time our heroine got smashed at Lucy and Mickey’s cookout, swiped J.R.’s keys and wrecked his car. OK, that last one ended up killing the joyful atmosphere at Southfork that evening – but at least it didn’t kill Sue Ellen’s future political viability.

Taste of success

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. No one should try to organize a big celebration on their own. Just ask Miss Ellie, who always counted on family and friends to help out – especially in the kitchen. Sister-in-law Jessica Montfort was a whiz at chopping veggies and Donna was an ace sous chef, while J.R. (Larry Hagman) and the rest of the Ewings were happy to serve as Mama’s taste-testers. For the real heavy lifting, though, Ellie relied on the hired help. The Ewings went through dozens of butlers and housekeepers over the years. Some were old, some were young, but remarkably, all of them were named “Raoul” and “Teresa.” Carmen the cook has been at Southfork for a long time too, although we didn’t see her until the Ewings moved to cable.

Guess what?

Parties are for surprises! Do you know someone who’s been dying to share a big secret with the world? Perhaps your event offers the stage they seek. Lucy blurted out her suspicions about Sue Ellen and Peter Richards’ affair at a get-together on the Southfork patio. Cousin Jamie chose a Ewing barbecue to reveal her stake in the family empire. James Beaumont announced he was J.R.’s illegitimate son at a Ewing dinner at the Oil Baron’s Club. The tradition continues: John Ross used Bobby’s birthday party to unveil his plot to drill for oil on Southfork, while Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo) decided the family’s final barbecue at the ranch was the ideal setting to tell Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) about her role in the scheme to break up him and Elena.

Oh, sit

Seating matters. Will your affair include a sit-down meal? Follow the example set by J.R., who always knows the perfect place for newcomers to the Southfork dinner table. He once told Ray, “You sit where Gary used to. You two have so much in common.” Later, on her first night at the ranch, J.R.’s daughter-in-law Michelle Beaumont asked him where she should sit. “Right there,” J.R. responded, pointing to an empty seat on the other side of the table. “Used to be Pam’s chair. I couldn’t stand her either.” J.R. also knew where guests shouldn’t sit. Just ask Clayton (Howard Keel), who got the stink-eye every time he sat in Jock’s old seat. No, seriously. J.R. cut Clayton a dirty look each time he came to the table. Every. Single. Time. For eight seasons.

The price of a clever wit

Keep the conversation lively. Miss Manners will tell you some topics shouldn’t be discussed in polite company – but Miss Manners never attended a Ewing fete. When this brood gets together, every subject is fair game. Once, when Miss Ellie worried that Sue Ellen didn’t eat enough at dinner, J.R. waved around a liquor bottle and said, “She gets all the nourishment she needs from this.” Moments later, he described Pam thusly: “Everybody can see that she’s cracking up, slowly and surely. And who can blame her? I mean, she finds out that her daddy, Digger Barnes, is no relation at all. And her real father is a saddle tramp and a thief. And her mother’s a whore! Who could find it in their heart to hate that poor little girl, huh?” Bobby responded by punching J.R. in the gut. He never could take a joke.

Everybody in!

Two words: “Swimming pool.” If you have one, use it. After all, if you’re going to party like the Ewings, your guests are going to need a place to cool off.

What have the Ewings taught you about entertaining? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Decoder Guides.”

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘We’re Ewings. We Stick Together.’

She's got this

She’s got this

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “Waterloo at Southfork,” J.R. (Larry Hagman) stands behind Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes), who has summoned Vaughn (Dennis Patrick), Jordan (Don Starr), Wade (Robert Ackerman), Andy (Paul Sorensen) and Cliff (Ken Kercheval) to J.R.’s office.

ELLIE: I’d like to thank you all for coming.

JORDAN: Well, it’s good to see you again Miss Ellie, but –

ELLIE: But you wonder why you were called here – at this time of night and by me. Is that right?

WADE: You do have us guessing, ma’am.

ELLIE: Well, you can stop guessing. I called you here to tell you that Ewing Oil is now prepared to pay back your loan … with interest.

VAUGHN: [Forced smile] Well … how nice.

ANDY: I knew Ewing Oil would be coming through.

ELLIE: Did you, Mr. Bradley? I suppose I should thank all of you gentlemen for the aid you gave my son.

JORDAN: Now Miss Ellie, you know it’s just business.

ELLIE: What I do know is that you are supposed to be Jock’s friend, Jordan. And yet the minute his back was turned, you took advantage of J.R.’s situation to charge an outrageous 25 percent interest to extend your loan.

VAUGHN: Now Miss Ellie, you don’t understand.

ELLIE: I understand perfectly. And what about you, Cliff? How long are you going to perpetuate this stupid Barnes-Ewing feud? Until we’re all dead and gone? Is it worth it to you?

CLIFF: Don’t expect me to apologize because J.R. got in over his head.

ELLIE: I don’t expect anything from you, Cliff. And I don’t apologize for what my son did. It’s a family matter. We may be wrong and we may be right, but we’re Ewings. We stick together – and that’s what makes us unbeatable.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘I Finally Whipped J.R. Ewing’

Laugh while you can

Laugh while you can

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “Five Dollars a Barrel,” Cliff (Ken Kercheval) is seated on the edge of his office desk when J.R. (Larry Hagman) enters.

CLIFF: Come right in. Did you come to pay your note early? It’s not due until tomorrow.

J.R.: [Steps forward] You know why I’m here.

CLIFF: I just want to hear you say it.

J.R.: [Another step forward] I need that extension.

CLIFF: [Smiles] Do you? [Walks behind his desk, sits] Well, I’m a man of my word. I have the papers right here. Sit down. [J.R. walks to Cliff’s desk, sets his hat on it] It’s all right here. Ten-day extension, at $200 million, 25 percent. But first, my lawyer drew that up. [Hands J.R. a document] It gives me total and permanent ownership of Ewing 6. [Hands a pen to J.R., who retrieves one of his own from his jacket’s inner pocket] You know you’re only buying a temporary delay because the price of oil is still dropping. And when this 10-day extension is up, there’s no more time. You can’t pay, you’re out. [J.R. signs the paper, tosses it onto Cliff’s desk, grabs his hat and begins walking away.] I can’t believe it. After all these years, I finally whipped J.R. Ewing.

J.R. turns, glares and smiles slightly as Cliff laughs uproariously.

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 86 – ‘Five Dollars a Barrel’

Keep your grin up

Keep your grin up

In “Five Dollars a Barrel,” Cliff takes over J.R.’s bank note and offers him an extension on his loan – in exchange for ownership of the oilfield that split up Jock and Digger’s partnership decades earlier. J.R. all but laughs Cliff out of his office when he hears these terms. But by the end of the episode, with J.R.’s confidence fading, he goes to Cliff, hat in hand, and signs over the field to get the extension. “I can’t believe it,” Cliff says as he reclines in his chair. “After all these years, I finally whipped J.R. Ewing.”

It’s a measure of the power of the J.R. character that we don’t feel happy for Cliff at this moment. Quite the opposite. We feel sorry for him because we know he hasn’t whipped J.R. at all. This is a temporary defeat. J.R. is going to come roaring back – and when he does, he’s going to make Cliff pay for trying to humiliate him.

Watching Larry Hagman in this scene makes me appreciate how good he is, not that I need the reminder. When Ken Kercheval delivers Cliff’s line about “finally” whipping J.R., Hagman responds with a single, slight smile. It’s more unnerving – and oddly more satisfying – than any dialogue the writers might have come up with.

There’s also a lot of humor in “Five Dollars a Barrel,” and almost all of it flows from Hagman’s deadpan delivery. In the second act, J.R. is working at his desk when Sly buzzes him. “There’s a Mr. Cliff Barnes here to see you,” she announces. “Who?” J.R. responds.

In another scene, Ray arrives home after dropping off Donna at the airport and finds J.R. waiting for him in the yard, his boots propped up on the Krebbs’ patio table. “You getting good mileage on Donna’s car?” J.R. asks through a big grin.

It’s pretty remarkable that the same smile that seems so sinister at the end of the episode is so hilarious here – but that’s Larry Hagman’s genius.

Grade: A

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Splendor in the grass

Splendor in the grass

‘FIVE DOLLARS A BARREL’

Season 5, Episode 9

Airdate: December 4, 1981

Audience: 22 million homes, ranking 2nd in the weekly ratings

Writer: Leonard Katzman

Director: Irving J. Moore

Synopsis: Gary visits and gives his voting shares to Lucy, while Ray rejects J.R.’s offer to bail him out of his foundering deal. With the cartel’s help, Cliff takes over J.R.’s bank note and extends the deadline on his loan in exchange for ownership of one of the original Barnes-Ewing oilfields. Farraday agrees to sell Christopher to Bobby.

Cast: Robert Ackerman (Wade Luce), Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Peter Brandon (Greer), Lee de Broux (McCoy), J.R. Clark (Earl Holiday), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Art Hindle (Jeff Farraday), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Sally Kemp (Mrs. Rogers), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Jared Martin (Dusty Farlow), Leigh McCloskey (Dr. Mitch Cooper), Pamela Murphy (Marie), Dennis Patrick (Vaughn Leland), Priscilla Pointer (Rebecca Wentworth), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Ted Shackelford (Gary Ewing), Paul Sorensen (Andy Bradley), Don Starr (Jordan Lee), Robert Symonds (Martin Porter), Aggie Terry (Lori Rogers), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Cooper), Deborah Tranelli (Phyllis), David Tress (Walter Sher), Edward Winter (Dr. Frank Waring), Gretchen Wyler (Dr. Dagmara Conrad)

“Five Dollars a Barrel” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘But It Was So Beautiful, Cliff’

Never upset this woman

Never upset this woman

In “Dallas’s” fifth-season episode “The Big Shut Down,” Cliff (Ken Kercheval) is in his office at Wentworth Tool and Die, discussing the hospitalized Pam with Rebecca and Katherine (Priscilla Pointer, Morgan Brittany), who’ve dropped by on their way to the airport.

CLIFF: You don’t need to worry about Pam. Mama and I will visit her. Although I must admit: I don’t relish bumping into a Ewing every time we go out there.

REBECCA: Cliff, the only Ewings who ever come to see Pam are Bobby and Ellie.

KATHERINE: [Smiling] I can understand why Pam fell in love with Bobby.

CLIFF: [Snickers] I’m sure you can. I must say, it wasn’t the greatest day in my life.

REBECCA: Cliff, I don’t want a replay of your problems with the Ewings. Besides, if we don’t hurry, we’re going to miss the plane. You know what the traffic’s like on the expressway in the mornings.

As Rebecca speaks, Katherine looks around the room quizzically.

KATHERINE: You know, everything in this office looks so different. I guess because I was three feet high the last time I saw it.

CLIFF: No, I don’t think so. It’s probably because I just had the whole place redecorated.

KATHERINE: Oh, I remember. [Pointing] Daddy had an antique cabinet right there. It was wood with a bold grain, probably oak or something.

CLIFF: Right, you’re right, yeah. I had it moved out because I just like kind of an openness.

KATHERINE: But it was so beautiful, Cliff.

CLIFF: It’s in the storeroom. If you want it, it’s yours.

KATHERINE: [Sighs] No, I’m just surprised you moved it. It always seemed to belong right there. [Smiles icily] Well, Mother, let’s go.

Katherine grabs her purse from a chair and she and Rebecca head for the door.

CLIFF: You all have a safe trip.

REBECCA: I’ll call you later.

After Rebecca and Katherine exit, Cliff surveys the room with raised eyebrows.

The Dal-List: Kristin Shepard’s 13 Greatest Moments

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby

Thanks for the memories, darlin’

Dallas Decoder kicks off its newest periodic feature, “The Dal-List,” with a look back at the 13 most memorable moments featuring “Dallas” vixen Kristin Shepard, played by the magnificent Mary Crosby.

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Rudy Millington, Terry Lester

Clothes call

13. Leaving Rudy. Feeling neglected by J.R. (Larry Hagman), Kristin turned to old flame Rudy Millington (Terry Lester) – and for a moment, it looked like she was going to allow him to make an honest woman of her. Then J.R. showed up, interrupting their post coital bliss. Before this embarrassing scene was over, Kristin had chosen J.R., leaving poor Rudy with a broken heart, no job – and possibly no pants. (“Return Engagements”)

Conundrum, Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby

Of vice and men

12. Scamming Judge Smith. A decade after Kristin’s death, an “angel” showed J.R. what life would have been like if he had never been born, including the revelation that Kristin became a cop. J.R. watched her bust grandfatherly Judge Smith (James T. Callahan) for solicitation – but it turned out the badge was fake: Kristin was really a con artist who preyed on powerful men. Guess she was destined to be bad. (“Conundrum”)

Dallas, Don Starr, Jordan Lee, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby

Daddy day scare

11. Bilking Jordan. After giving birth in California, Kristin sashays back to Dallas and makes a phone call. “The baby … looks just like you,” she coos. The audience is led to believe the person on the other end of the line is J.R. – so imagine our surprise when it turns out to be rival oilman Jordan Lee (Don Starr). It seems Kristin lied to Jordan, telling him he was her child’s father – just so she could bilk him for hush money. (“Full Circle”)

Bobby Ewing, Colleen Camp, Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Sue Ellen's Sister

Buckle up, Bob

10. Charming Bobby. Kristin (Colleen Camp) paid her first visit to Southfork just as Bobby and Pam (Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal) were hitting a rough patch – so J.R. naturally encouraged his wife’s little sister to seduce his baby brother. Kristin obliged, charming Bobby with her clever wit and tight sweaters. Then Bobby and Pam made up, leaving Kristin free to pursue the brother she wanted all along. (“Sue Ellen’s Sister”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Power Play

See what develops

9. Exposing Lucy. The only person Kristin despised more than Lucy (Charlene Tilton) was J.R.’s protégé Alan Beam (Randolph Powell), so when Kristin saw Lucy and Alan canoodling at a roller disco, she did what came naturally: She reached for the nearest Polaroid and started snapping pictures. Kristin hoped exposing Lucy and Alan’s secret affair would get them in trouble. It didn’t work out that way, but it still caused lots of drama. (“Power Play”)

Dallas, Knots Landing, Krisitn Shepard, Joan Van Ark, Mary Crosby, Valene Ewing

Lap it up, Val

8. Befriending Val. After wearing out her welcome in Dallas, Kristin headed to Knots Landing, where she got busy wrecking the marriage of those nice young suburbanites, Kenny and Ginger Ward (James Houghton, Kim Lankford). Soon, Valene (Joan Van Ark) was confronting Kristin, who confessed she was pregnant and afraid for her future. It was a rare and moving glimpse into Kristin’s soul. Who knew she even had one? (“Kristin”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Linda Gray, Mary Crosby, Silent Killer

Sister, sister

7. Taunting Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) was suffering major post-partum depression when Kristin started flirting with J.R. So you couldn’t blame big sis for being suspicious when Kristin popped into her bedroom one evening to see if she’d be joining the rest of the family for dinner. “Were you thinking of occupying my chair?” Sue Ellen seethed. “Somebody will if you don’t pull yourself together,” Kristin sneered. (“The Silent Killer”)

Dallas, Divorce Ewing Style, Kristin Shepard, Linda Gray, Mary Crosby, Sue Ellen Ewing

Spill life

6. Drenching Sue Ellen. Oh, look: Sue Ellen and Kristin are in a posh restaurant, toasting their renewed friendship. Nice to see them getting along, isn’t it? Whoops, klutzy Kristin just spilled her cocktail in Sue Ellen’s lap. If she’s not careful, the Ewings are going to smell the booze and begin to suspect Sue Ellen has fallen off the wagon. Wait, what’s that you say? That was Kristin’s plan all along? What a hussy! (“Divorce, Ewing Style”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Kristin Shepard, Larry Hagman, Mary Crosby

If smirks could kill

5. Seducing J.R. Once J.R. hired Kristin as his new secretary, it didn’t take her long to figure out his scheme to secretly mortgage Southfork. She threatened to spill the beans to Jock and Bobby – unless J.R. slept with her. Turns out she didn’t need to ask twice. “Kristin,” J.R. said as he took her in his arms, “with your mind and your body, it just might take me a lifetime to figure you out.” Cost him his life is more like it. (“The Kristin Affair”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Nightmare

Move over, Florence Nightingale

4. Mocking J.R. While recovering in the hospital from his shooting, J.R. was surprised to receive a visit from Kristin, who was still in town after his goons failed to run her off. “Don’t you worry, Kristin. When I get out of here, you’ll get yours,” J.R. warned. “I know I will,” she smirked as she looked his paralyzed body up and down. “But not from you. That’s for sure.” J.R.’s under-his-breath response after she left the room: “Bitch.” (“Nightmare”)

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Gone But Not Forgotten, J.R. Ewing, Ken Kercheval, Kristin Shepard, Larry Hagman, Mary Crosby

Is it really that black and white?

3. Scandalizing J.R. After giving birth to the son she claimed was J.R.’s, Kristin showed up at Southfork demanding more “child support.” Next thing you know, Cliff was fishing her dead body out of the swimming pool and claiming J.R. had murdered her. Before all was said and done, J.R. was being hauled into court to prove his innocence. Even in death, Kristin was still causing him trouble. That’s our girl! (“Gone But Not Forgotten”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Who Done It?, Who Shot J.R.?

She bangs

2. Shooting J.R. No one knew whodunit when J.R. was gunned down in his office. Then the weapon was discovered in his bedroom closet. The cops arrested Sue Ellen, who figured out Kristin was framing her and made little sister confess. Of course, Kristin had a get-out-of-jail card: She was pregnant with J.R.’s love child. Fed up with her drama, J.R. finally exiled Kristin to California. Too bad she didn’t stay there. (“Who Done It?”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby

Wait ’til you see him grown up!

1. Birthing Christopher. OK, we never actually saw this on screen, but so what? After miscarrying J.R.’s baby, Kristin got pregnant by sleazy Jeff Farraday (Art Hindle), who sold their child, Christopher, to Bobby after Miss Shepard took her deadly dive into the Southfork swimming pool. So when you think about it, Kristin is responsible for giving us Jesse Metcalfe on TNT’s “Dallas.” If that’s not a crowning achievement, I don’t know what is.

What do you consider Kristin Shepard’s greatest moments? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Art of Dallas: ‘Missing Heir’

J.R. (Larry Hagman) watches Cliff (Ken Kercheval) recover the dead woman’s body from the Southfork swimming pool in this 1981 publicity shot from “Missing Heir,” “Dallas’s” fifth-season opener.

Drill Bits: TNT’s ‘Dallas’ Saddles Up for Season 2

Battle Lines, Bobby Ewing, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Elena Ramos, Jesse Metcalfe, John Ross Ewing, Jordana Brewster, Josh Henderson, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy, TNT

Mark your calendars

TNT’s “Dallas” won’t return with new episodes until January 28 – that’s 113 days from today, not that I’m obsessive enough to keep track of such things – but details about the second season are beginning to emerge:

Casting. Yesterday, TV Line reported Judith Light will join the cast as “an authoritative and controlling battle-ax who will fight to the death to protect the people she loves.” Speculation is the recurring character, whose name hasn’t been announced, will be the mother of Brenda Strong’s Ann Ewing.

It seems Ann’s wing of the family tree is growing: In the summer, TNT announced plans to elevate first-season guest star Mitch Pileggi, who plays Ann’s ex-husband/punching bag Harris Ryland, to a regular cast member in Season 2. And in a recent Ultimate Dallas chat, showrunner Cynthia Cidre confirmed another new character – Emma Brown, played by “Walking Dead” actress Emma Bell – will be Ann’s daughter.

Still no word on who’ll portray Drew Ramos, Elena’s brother, who Cidre discussed in an August TV Guide interview.

Storylines. In a press release last week, TNT revealed what we’ll see during the show’s two-hour season premiere:

Sue Ellen’s run for governor will be threatened by the secret that she bribed a medical examiner to help get John Ross off the hook for murder. Ryland will come to Ann claiming to have news about her daughter. Christopher will head to Des Moines to find the real Becky Sutter, while the woman he married will start to show her true colors as Cliff Barnes’ daughter. And J.R. will team up with John Ross to take over Sue Ellen’s loan to Elena and, in turn, gain total control over Christopher and John Ross’ new startup company, Ewing Energies.

Dallas, Enemy of My Enemy, Harris Ryland, Linda Gray, Mitch Pileggi, Sue Ellen Ewing

Back for more

Elsewhere, during a red carpet interview last month, Jesse Metcalfe said the second season will offer “some unexpected deaths” (egad!), while Patrick Duffy told TV Guide the aforementioned Becky Sutter will be “jumping into bed with people.”

Meanwhile, tweets from Texas, where production on the second season began two weeks ago, suggest Christopher and Elena (Metcalfe and Jordana Brewster) will have a Southfork swimming pool scene, while John Ross (Josh Henderson) and Christopher will be spending plenty of time at the nifty new offices of Ewing Energies.

Also: the Dallas Morning News spotted Strong and Henderson filming a scene at a Dallas art gallery, where Ann “commissioned a painting for her new offices,” as well as a sequence where one of the new characters takes a helicopter ride.

Returning favorites. Dallas Decoder readers will recall Ken Kercheval recently told us he’ll appear in at least one second-season episode. There also have been reports Audrey Landers will reprise her role as Afton, the mother of Julie Gonzalo’s character, Pamela Rebecca Barnes. Cidre has also promised Linda Gray will be in all 15 second-season episodes.

Sue Ellen vs. Carrie

TNT will show “Dallas’s” second season on Monday nights at 9, where its competition will include the CW’s “The Carrie Diaries,” which is slated to take over “Gossip Girl’s” time slot in January. The “Sex and the City” prequel follows Carrie Bradshaw’s teenage years in the 1980s and stars hyphenate-phobic AnnaSophia Robb as the title character. In the Sue Ellen-vs.-Carrie showdown, our money is on Miss Texas.

‘Dallas’ on DVD

If you need a refresher on the first season of TNT’s “Dallas,” don’t worry: the DVD will go on sale beginning January 8 (that’s just 92 days from today – again, not that we’re keeping track).

Extras will include deleted scenes, audio commentary on the “Changing of the Guard” pilot, “Ewing Family Love Oak” and “Dressing Dallas” featurettes and a “Who Shot J.R.?” retrospective.

In addition, TNT will show episodes from “Dallas’s” first season during the weekend before Season 2 starts.

Cidre Speaks

In a new profile, Cidre tells the Hollywood Reporter the show that inspired her most when she was younger was “The Avengers,” while her guilty pleasure is “The People’s Court.”

The “Dallas” executive producer also reveals she doesn’t “love” writing. “It’s a language thing, it comes out backwards. I know exactly what I want to say, it’s just hard for me to find the words.”

Honey, we know the feeling.

“Drill Bits,” a roundup of news about TNT’s “Dallas,” is published regularly. Share your comments below.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘Mama, You Didn’t Take Any Licorice’

He remembers, Mama

He remembers, Mama

In “Dallas’s” fourth-season episode “Full Circle,” Cliff (Ken Kercheval), dressed in a three-piece suit, nervously straightens his apartment when there is a knock at the door. He opens it, revealing Rebecca (Priscilla Pointer).

REBECCA: Hello.

CLIFF: Hi. Come on in.

REBECCA: You look wonderful.

CLIFF: You too. Maybe I should have known who you were when you came in the office the other day but then, I don’t know. You didn’t look exactly like I expected you to.

REBECCA: Oh?

CLIFF: No. You look kind of um … poised.

REBECCA: [She smiles, then notices the spread on his coffee table] Oh, Cliff. You didn’t have to go to that trouble.

CLIFF: No, it’s no trouble. I’ve got some coffee going. I’ll check to see if it’s done. [Walks into the kitchen] Uh, it’s done. [Peering into the living room] You want some coffee? How do you take it?

REBECCA: Black, please.

He pours two cups, carries them into the living room on saucers and hands one to her.

CLIFF: We can sit down.

REBECCA: You’ve done very well for yourself, haven’t you Cliff?

They sit on the sofa.

CLIFF: Uh, I’ve done OK. I’ve bounced around a bit, from job to job.

REBECCA: But you put yourself through law school.

CLIFF: Yeah, I did that. [Not making eye contact] But that’s a long time ago. Now Pam. Now, let’s see. Now, I don’t think she told me where she found you.

REBECCA: The first time was in Houston.

CLIFF: [Looks at her, then looks away] Did you live there very long?

REBECCA: Yes, we…. We, we sound like two strangers, don’t we? I didn’t want it to be that way. [Moves toward him, but he rises and stands]

CLIFF: It wasn’t my decision. You ran out on me. I was barely 5 years old and you pretended to be dead and you left me with a baby sister and a drunken father. Why?

REBECCA: It wasn’t like…. It’s so, it’s so hard to explain.

CLIFF: I can imagine it’s hard to explain. A mother running out on her own two kids. I don’t know how in the hell a woman can do that. [Screaming] Do you have any idea what it’s like to be 5 years old and be told that your mother’s dead only to find out the truth is that she didn’t want you! That she was only thinking about herself!

REBECCA: [Grabs her pocketbook, rises and walks toward Cliff, who stands not looking at her] I, I didn’t expect you to forgive me anymore than I can forgive myself. [Voice cracking] But, oh how I prayed that you could try.

CLIFF: I have tried! [She opens the door.] Mama. [Grabs a bowl from the coffee table, holds it out for her] You didn’t take any licorice and I remembered you liked it.

He walks toward her and they embrace while sobbing.