Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘Back Off, Barnes!’

Barbecue Three, Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy

The barrier

In “Barbecue Three,” a sixth-season “Dallas” episode, Cliff and Jordan (Ken Kercheval, Don Starr) lead a mob of angry oilmen in confronting J.R. (Larry Hagman) at the Ewing Barbecue, where he stands on the patio with Sue Ellen (Linda Gray).

CLIFF: J.R., we want to talk to you.

J.R.: Well, Barnes, I’ve got a business. You know where my office is.

JORDAN: You don’t even answer your phone calls, J.R.

J.R.: Been real busy.

JORDAN: Too busy to talk to your friends?

J.R.: If y’all got something to say, say it.

Ray and Miss Ellie (Steve Kanaly, Barbara Bel Geddes) watch from the crowd.

RAY: Maybe you ought to go inside, Miss Ellie.

ELLIE: No.

Cliff and J.R. continue their faceoff.

CLIFF: We want to talk to you about the gas war.

J.R.: I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. If I want to cut prices, that’s my business, isn’t it?

JORDAN: No, J.R. It’s the business of every oilman in Texas.

CLIFF: J.R., the politicians are afraid of you. We aren’t. We want you to stop over-pumping those fields and put prices back where they belong.

Bobby (Patrick Duffy) steps in front of J.R.

BOBBY: Cliff, that sounds like a threat. You boys are starting to look like a lynch mob.

JORDAN: Bobby, what are you doing sticking up for J.R.? He’s ruining you too!

BOBBY: Jordan, I don’t like it any more than you do. But right now you’re talking not business, but family. That’s no way to solve problems.

Ray joins Bobby in shielding J.R. as one of the oilmen (Ken Farmer) in the crowd begins to speak.

OILMAN: My stations are losing a fortune, Bobby. One more week and I’m out of business. You best step aside.

BOBBY: If you want to get to J.R., you’re going to have to come through us.

CLIFF: Then that’s what it’ll be, because you’re not stopping us.

BOBBY: Back off, Barnes! All of you!

OILMAN: Not before we settle with J.R.

RAY: Just hold it right there! If there’s going to be any blood spilled here today, I guarantee you it won’t just be Ewing blood.

ELLIE: [Stepping forward] Good Lord, are you all crazy? Most of you are Jock’s friends!

JORDAN: Now, Miss Ellie, we don’t have any quarrel with you.

ELLIE: You’re a guest in my home. Until you come to your senses, I don’t want to see any of you. Now go home. Go home, all of you!

JORDAN: [Turning toward the cartel members] Come on, let’s go.

Pam and Donna (Victoria Principal, Susan Howard) step forward.

ELLIE: I’m calling Harv Smithfield. I’ve had enough of this insane competition between you two. I’m going to court to break Jock’s will. And then I intend to sell Ewing Oil.

Let’s Party Tonight on #DallasChat

Bobby Ewing, Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Lucy Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

Party people

I’ll host Dallas Decoder’s next #DallasChat on Twitter on Monday, July 1, from 9 to 10 p.m. Eastern time. Our theme: “Parties, People, Places.”

I’ll tweet a question every few minutes. Each question will be numbered and include the hashtag #DallasChat, so your responses should do the same. A sample exchange:

Q1. On the original #Dallas, which tradition did you prefer: the Oil Baron’s Ball or the Ewing Barbecue? #DallasChat

A1. Neither! I preferred the Ewing Rodeo. Love them cowboys. #DallasChat

Feel free to respond to what other people are saying and to engage in “side conversations” of your own.

Two tips:

• During the chat, enter #DallasChat in Twitter’s search field. This will help you watch the search results so you can follow the conversation. Click “All” to see all the related tweets.

• Don’t forget to include the hashtag #DallasChat in each tweet you send so others can see your contributions to the conversation.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts. See you tonight!

Tonight on Twitter: ‘Dallas’s’ Greatest Love Story

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing

Love is all around

I’ll host Dallas Decoder’s next #DallasChat on Twitter on Monday, June 24, from 9 to 10 p.m. Eastern time. Our topic: “The Greatest Love Story Texas Has Ever Known.”

The theme refers to one of the couples pictured here. Join the chat to find out which one.

As always, each question will be numbered and include the hashtag #DallasChat, so your responses should do the same.

Two tips:

• Enter #DallasChat in Twitter’s search field. This will help you watch the search results so you can follow the conversation. Click “All” to see all the related tweets.

• Don’t forget to include the hashtag #DallasChat in each tweet you send so others can see your contributions to the conversation.

See you tonight on Twitter!

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 107 — ‘The Big Ball’

Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Big Ball, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Miss Ellie Ewing, Patrick Duffy

Mama’s family

No matter how often I see it, the next-to-last scene in “The Big Ball” always gives me goose bumps. Punk Anderson stands before a packed ballroom of tuxedo-clad oilmen and their gussied up wives and announces the establishment of the Jock Ewing memorial scholarship. “I don’t know what old Jock would have said about this, but … maybe Miss Ellie could speak for him,” Punk says. The camera cuts to the Ewing matriarch, who is weeping at a table with her family. Silence. Slowly, Bobby rises and begins clapping, followed — one by one — by J.R., Pam and Sue Ellen. Finally, the entire room erupts as Ellie’s sons escort her to the stage.

The speech that follows proves worthy of the dramatic setup. “Jock Ewing was a great man, measured in the only true value of a man. Not in money or power, but in friends,” Ellie says. This is my favorite line in Leonard Katzman’s script. I don’t remember watching “The Big Ball” on the night it debuted in 1982, but I remember reading that statement a few years later in Laura von Wormer’s “Dallas” book. I’ve never forgotten it. I also love how Barbara Bel Geddes delivers the line and the rest of the speech. This is one of those moments when Bel Geddes makes me forget I’m watching an actress playing a TV character. In that moment, she is a Texas widow eulogizing her husband in front of their family and friends. It’s a beautiful, moving performance.

“The Big Ball” is the first “Dallas” episode set at the Oil Baron’s Ball, which became one of the show’s best-loved traditions. In later years, the ball is the setting for big, dramatic showdowns and even a food fight or two, but the affair depicted here is rather subdued. Not that I’m complaining. The real appeal of the Oil Baron’s Ball episodes has always come from seeing the entire “Dallas” universe in one room. From this perspective, “The Big Ball” doesn’t disappoint. In addition to Ellie and her sons and their significant others, this ball brings together Cliff, Rebecca, Clayton, Jordan, Marilee, Holly and an interesting newcomer: Frank Crutcher, played by the old western actor Dale Robertson, who had recently concluded a brief-but-memorable run on rival soap “Dynasty.”

The ballroom sequences contrast nicely with the scenes set in Emporia, Kansas, where Ray and Donna attend the funeral of Amos Krebbs. I don’t know where these scenes were shot — my guess is they were filmed somewhere in North Texas — but it looks and feels like a sleepy town in the Midwest. When Ray and Donna arrive at Aunt Lil’s house, notice the neighbors sitting on the front porch across the street. The guest stars lend an air of authenticity too: Kate Reid is utterly believable in her second appearance as humble, homespun Lil, while Timothy Patrick Murphy is terrific in his “Dallas” debut as cocky, restless Mickey.

I also can’t help but feel touched by Steve Kanaly’s heartfelt performance in the scene where Amos is buried. Ray, who doesn’t want his Kansas relatives to know that he was really Jock Ewing’s son, kneels at his mother Margaret’s tombstone. “Probably better that it happened this way, Mama,” Ray says. “Nobody knows the truth. Chances are old Amos is probably headed in the opposite direction than you anyhow.” Besides serving as this episode’s other great speech, Ray’s monologue puts a nice punctuation mark on the saga of Jock, Amos and Margaret, which was revealed in the fourth-season classic “The Fourth Son.” The funeral might be for Amos, but Margaret is the one we end up mourning in this scene.

“The Big Ball” also features Jared Martin’s first appearance on “Dallas” since Dusty bid Sue Ellen farewell in the fifth-season episode “Starting Over.” I’ve always loved Martin’s chemistry with Linda Gray, but frankly their characters annoy me a little here. Dusty rides out to a Southern Cross pasture to find Sue Ellen, they have a heart-to-heart talk and then they return together to the house where — surprise! — he introduces her to his new wife. It makes for a dramatic moment, but couldn’t Dusty have found a kinder way to let Sue Ellen know he has married another woman? The disappointment ends up sending Sue Ellen back to Southfork, and not a moment too soon. After all, she does have a child to raise, doesn’t she?

Grade: A

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Big Ball, Dallas, Kate Reid, Lil Trotter, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

No place like home

‘THE BIG BALL’

Season 6, Episode 4

Airdate: October 22, 1982

Audience: 20.7 million homes, ranking 3rd in the weekly ratings

Writer and Director: Leonard Katzman

Synopsis: Sue Ellen leaves the Southern Cross after Dusty visits with his new wife. Ray and Donna go to Kansas for Amos’s funeral, where they meet Mickey Trotter, Ray’s angry young cousin. At the Oil Baron’s Ball, Miss Ellie meets Frank Crutcher and Pam discovers her mother is dating Clayton. After the ball, Ellie decides to have Jock declared legally dead.

Cast: Melody Anderson (Linda Farlow), Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Lois Chiles (Holly Harwood), Roseanna Christiansen (Teresa), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Fern Fitzgerald (Marilee Stone), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Alice Hirson (Mavis Anderson), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Audrey Landers (Afton Cooper), Jared Martin (Dusty Farlow), Timothy Patrick Murphy (Mickey Trotter), Priscilla Pointer (Rebecca Wentworth), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Kate Reid (Lil Trotter), Dale Robertson (Frank Crutcher), Don Starr (Jordan Lee), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Cooper), Morgan Woodward (Punk Anderson)

“The Big Ball” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 105 — ‘Where There’s a Will’

Dallas, John Baxter, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Robin Strand, Where There's a Will

Let us prey

Larry Hagman has no scenes with his main co-stars in “Where There’s a Will,” but this is still a terrific hour of “Dallas.” The fun comes from watching J.R. scheme to sneak a peek at Jock’s will before the document is unsealed for the rest of the family. Usually when J.R. hatches a plot like this, it takes a few episodes to execute it. Here, J.R. puts his plan in motion in the first scene and completes his mission right before the closing credits roll. The efficient storytelling reminds me of “Dallas’s” earliest episodes, before the show became serialized.

J.R. has two foils in “Where There’s a Will.” The first is Harv Smithfield, the Ewings’ ethical consigliere, who refuses J.R.’s demands to see Jock’s will. In one of George O. Petrie’s many great scenes during his long run on “Dallas,” Harv removes his pince-nez spectacles, looks his bull-headed client in the eye and tells him: “I was your daddy’s attorney before you were born, J.R. My allegiance is to his memory. I will follow his instructions to the letter. No one will see that will until such time as it is read to the entire family.”

J.R. pretends to respect Harv’s decision (“I admire your loyalty to my daddy. Believe me. I’ll never mention that will again.”), but the glint in Hagman’s eye lets us know J.R. isn’t going to give up that easily. Enter Foil No. 2: John Baxter, Harv’s new son-in-law and the latest addition to the Smithfield & Bennett law firm. After Harv turns J.R. down, we see J.R. call John and invite him to lunch at 1 o’clock. Seconds later, J.R. places a call to someone else — we don’t see who it is — and instructs the person on the other line to meet him at the same restaurant at 1:05. “You know what to wear,” J.R. says.

Once we see J.R.’s favorite call girl Serena show up at the restaurant and pretend to be an old Ewing family friend, we have a pretty good idea of what J.R.’s up to. Sure enough, J.R. is conveniently called away from the restaurant, leaving John and Serena alone. The next time we see them, they’re at the Ewing condo, where J.R. walks in on them in bed together. Leonard Katzman, who wrote and directed “Where There’s a Will,” gives this scene enough humor to amuse the audience without letting things devolve into slapstick. “I’m a firm believer in the sanctity of marriage — and I’m damned disappointed in you,” J.R. says before the shirtless John scoops up his clothes and dashes out of the room.

In the final act, J.R. summons John to the restaurant where this scheme began. (These scenes appear to have been filmed in a real-life white-tablecloth eatery with impressive views of downtown Dallas.) J.R. tells John he’ll keep his fling with Serena secret — if John shows him Jock’s will. Guest star Robin Strand is terrific in this scene. The boyishly handsome, fair-haired actor loosens his necktie as his character begins to feel the weight of J.R.’s pressure. When John tells J.R. that showing him the will would be “betraying a trust,” Hagman licks his lips and waits a beat before delivering J.R.’s next line: “Now, what do you call cheating on your wife? Or more to the point, what would Harv call that?”

Other highlights of “Where There’s a Will” include the scene where Ray tells Donna he’s decided to send money to his Aunt Lil, who is caring for his ill “father” Amos. Steve Kanaly does a nice job conveying Ray’s conflicted feelings, but I also love what Susan Howard does with Donna’s line, “You’re not going to call her and talk to her?” If another actress delivered this dialogue, it might make Donna seem like a nag, but Howard never makes her character seem like anything less than a wise, caring spouse. Patrick Duffy also does a nice job in the scene where Bobby politely brushes off Carl Daggett, the harmlessly sleazy chap looking to drum up business for his escort service.

This episode’s other highlight is the final sequence, when John brings Jock’s will to the darkened Ewing Oil office after hours so J.R. can finally see it. We don’t discover what the document says in this scene, but after we see J.R. smile, cast his eyes upwards and thank Jock, we know whatever’s in the will makes our hero happy. And by golly, hasn’t he earned it?

Grade: A

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Dallas, Donna Krebbs, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly, Susan Howard, Where There's a Will

The good wife

‘WHERE THERE’S A WILL’

Season 6, Episode 2

Airdate: October 8, 1982

Audience: 19.2 million homes, ranking 3rd in the weekly ratings

Writer and Director: Leonard Katzman

Synopsis: J.R. blackmails Harv’s son-in-law into showing him Jock’s will before the document is unsealed for the rest of the family. Lucy tells Pam she’s pregnant and that she’s decided to have an abortion. Sue Ellen visits the Southern Cross. Marilee offers Cliff a job. Ray learns Amos has fallen ill in Kansas.

Cast: Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Stephanie Blackmore (Serena), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Fern Fitzgerald (Marilee Stone), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Alice Hirson (Mavis Anderson), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Audrey Landers (Afton Cooper), Joseph Miller (bartender), Charles Napier (Carl Daggett), George O. Petrie (Harv Smithfield), Priscilla Pointer (Rebecca Wentworth), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Danone Simpson (Kendall), Robin Strand (John Baxter), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Cooper), Deborah Tranelli (Phyllis), Aarika Wells (Millie Laverne), Morgan Woodward (Punk Anderson)

“Where There’s a Will” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

The Dal-List: ‘Dallas’s’ 35 Greatest Moments (So Far)

Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Lucy Ewing, Miss Ellie Ewing, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing, Victoria Principal

Icons

“Dallas” debuted 35 years ago today. To commemorate its anniversary, here’s my list of the franchise’s 35 greatest moments.

Dallas, Digger's Daughter, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Gripping grin

35. J.R. meets his match. “Dallas’s” first episode ends with Pam turning the tables on J.R. (Larry Hagman) after he tries to make it look like she was cheating on Bobby with Ray. “Looks like I underestimated the new Mrs. Ewing,” J.R. declares as he watches his baby brother and sister-in-law drive away. “I surely won’t do that again.” Hagman then smiles, ever so slightly. It lets us know J.R. has finally found a worthy adversary – and he couldn’t be happier about it.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT, Venomous Creatures

Here we go again

34. Rivalry redux. When the truth comes out that Rebecca Sutter Ewing is actually Pamela Rebecca Barnes, J.R. pops into her office for a tête-à-tête. She turns out to be as ballsy as her namesake aunt, telling J.R.: “I must have done something right to deserve a visit from you.” J.R., for his part, shows he hasn’t lost his step. “You’re not the first Pam to fox her way into the henhouse,” he tells her with a sly grin. “I’m 1 for 1 on flushing out Pamelas. And I plan on being 2 for 2.” Fabulous.

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Full Circle, Ken Kercheval, Priscilla Pointer, Rebecca Wentworth

All is forgiven

33. The “licorice scene.” Cliff (Ken Kercheval) invites estranged mom Rebecca (Priscilla Pointer) to his apartment. Nervous small talk gives way to anger, as Cliff tells Rebecca how much her abandonment hurt him. She begins to leave, but Cliff stops her. “Mama,” he says, his voice cracking. “You didn’t take any licorice, and I remembered you liked it.” The music swells, mother and son embrace and we’re reminded why Cliff is the original “Dallas’s” most human character.

Ann Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, TNT, Trial and Error

True confessions

32. Ann testifies. After shooting ex-husband Harris, Ann (Brenda Strong) goes on trial. In stirring testimony, she recalls how he and his mother Judith tormented her, but Ann also concedes her own failings – including how her pill addiction led to daughter Emma’s abduction. “God had punished me by taking my baby,” Ann says through tears. Before this scene, I wondered how we could forgive Ann for her crime. Afterward, I wondered how we couldn’t.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Bobby Ewing, Clayton Farlow, Dallas, Howard Keel, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Miss Ellie Farlow, Patrick Duffy, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly, Sting

Adios, Ray

31. Ray rides into the sunset. After Ray (Steve Kanaly) returns to Southfork and helps the Ewings win a range war, they bid him adieu as John Parker’s piano music plays in the background. Ray’s final moments with Ellie, Clayton, Bobby and even J.R. are touching, but the most moving part comes when he looks around and declares, “There’s a part of me that’s never going to leave here.” When major characters depart “Dallas,” the show usually screws it up. Not this time.

Close Encounters, Dallas, Deborah Shelton, Linda Gray, Mandy Winger, Sue Ellen Ewing

Get smart

30. Sue Ellen meets Mandy. At the Ewing Rodeo, Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) runs into Mandy (Deborah Shelton), J.R.’s latest mistress, and offers her some advice: Get away while you can. It’s our first glimpse of a newly sober, newly wise Sue Ellen, but Mandy refuses to listen and turns to leave. That’s when Sue Ellen delivers a zinger: “Isn’t it strange how the mistress always thinks she’s smarter than the wife? If she’s so smart, why is she the mistress?” She’s got you there, darlin’.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, Pam Ewing, Reunion Part 2, Victoria Principal

Sale of the century

29. “Sold!” After Bobby marries Pam, a drunken Digger barrels onto Southfork and recounts everything Jock “took” from him – including Pam, for whom Digger demands $10,000. “She was a Barnes and now she’s a Ewing, just like the oil wells,” he says. Bobby and Pam watch in horror as Jock (Jim Davis) tosses a $100 bill at Digger, who scoops it up. “Sold!” he declares as he leaves. Harsh? Yes, but after this scene, there was no doubt which family Pam belonged with.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, End of the Road Part 2, Leigh McCloskey, Lucy Ewing, Mitch Cooper

Pomp and circumstance

28. The royal wedding. The marriage of Lucy and Mitch (Charlene Tilton, Leigh McCloskey) was doomed from the start, but man, aren’t their nuptials fun? The two-part episode gives us lots of “Dallas” firsts, including the first Southfork wedding, the first time someone gets dunked in the pool (Lucy pushes Mitch) and the first appearance of Afton, who sleeps with J.R. during the reception – in his own marital bed! No wonder Sue Ellen still holds a grudge.

Dallas, Quality of Mercy, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

Have mercy

27. Who killed Mickey Trotter? When the plug is pulled on his comatose cousin Mickey, Ray blocks the door to his hospital room so the doctors can’t enter and revive him. It’s the beginning of a medical mystery that yields riveting performances from Kanaly, Tilton and Kate Reid as Lil, Mickey’s mom. Only at Ray’s murder trial do we learn the truth: He did disconnect Mickey’s life support, but only because Lil didn’t have the strength to do the mercy killing herself.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly, Survival

Stop! Or Mom will shoot

26. Ellie grabs her gun. The Ewings are awaiting word on J.R. and Bobby after their plane crashed in Cato Swamp. Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) answers the door to find a snoopy reporter. “Ray, get me the shotgun out of the hall closet,” she says, then tells the newshound: “Anybody on my land, without invitation, is a trespasser. So unless I see your tail heading out of here … I’m going to blow it off.” It’s classic “Dallas”: Modern Texans defending old traditions like land and family.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Farlow, Pam Ewing, Winds of Change, Victoria Principal

Queens’ speeches

25. Pam’s surprise. After Bobby’s “death,” Ellie eulogizes him at the Oil Baron’s Ball, followed by Pam (Victoria Principal), who stuns everyone by announcing she won’t sell her shares of Ewing Oil to Westar as planned. J.R. is overjoyed, assuming this means Pam will sell them to him. She sets him straight: “I’m not selling at all. From now on, it’s going to be you and me. I’ll see you at the office, partner.” It’s one of many great moments from the unjustly maligned “dream season.”

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing, Requiem

Southfork soothsayer

24. Mama sees all. In 1983, when Sue Ellen tried to justify J.R.’s latest quest for power, Ellie delivered a spot-on prophesy: “Think ahead, Sue Ellen. Think 25 or 30 years ahead. I won’t be here then. And the fight won’t be between J.R. and Bobby. It’ll be between John Ross and Christopher. … Your loyalty to your husband is a wonderful thing. But you’re a mother too. And where will this all end?” Impressive, huh? Too bad no one ever thought to ask her where Pam is.

Ann Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, Revelations, TNT

Bra-vo!

23. Sting! When Harris tries to blackmail Sue Ellen into aiding his dirty dealings, Ann begs him to stop. Harris confirms his crimes and suggests he’ll ease up on Sue Ellen – if Ann sleeps with him. Slowly, Ann unbuttons her blouse … and reveals a hidden mic. “Extortion, blackmail and a confession to money laundering, all recorded,” she says triumphantly. Ann then slugs Harris and hints she’ll shoot him if he doesn’t leave the Ewings alone. She wasn’t kidding, was she?

Adoption, Dallas, Donna Krebbs, Susan Howard,

Armor on

22. Pow! Donna (Susan Howard) is none too happy when Ray begins an affair with barfly Bonnie. Fed up with his philandering, she dons her fur coat, heads to the saloon and offers Bonnie $15,000 to leave Texas. Bonnie agrees, so Donna cuts the offer by a third. “Now that we know what you are, let’s haggle over your fee,” she says. Bonnie tosses a drink in Donna’s face – and then Donna belts her. Who knew “Dallas’s” classiest leading lady possessed such a mean right hook?

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Ray Krebbs, Road Back, Steve Kanaly

Open flames

21. Bobby to the rescue. “Dallas’s” sixth season ends with J.R., Sue Ellen, John Ross and Ray trapped inside Southfork as flames sweep through the house. We knew they’d survive; we just didn’t know how. The seventh-season premiere supplies our answer: In “Dallas’s” most thrilling opening, quick-thinking Bobby comes home, soaks himself in the pool and dashes into the house, where he rescues everyone. We should’ve known: Bobby always saves the day.

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, Tangled Web

Face of fear

20. Sue Ellen’s discovery. Sue Ellen doesn’t want to believe it when Holly Harwood tells her she’s sleeping with J.R., but she agrees to come by the vixen’s house, where Holly says Sue Ellen will find J.R. in her bed. The audience watches as the fur-clad Sue Ellen arrives at Holly’s, slowly crosses the driveway (click clack go the heels), turns the front door knob and finally reaches the bedroom, where her worst fears are confirmed. It’s a brilliant, devastating sequence.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Brother Can You Spare a Child?, Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Farlow

Making peace

19. Cliff asks for forgiveness. After Dandy Dandridge accuses Cliff of trying to cheat him out of their big gas strike, Cliff begins to see his daddy’s feud with Jock in a new light. Summoning Ellie to a Dallas park, Cliff extends a long-overdue olive branch. “Digger was wrong, and I was wrong. If it’s not too late. I’d like to make peace. I’d like to ask you to forgive me,” he says. It’s my favorite performance from Kercheval and a consequential moment in “Dallas” history.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy, Wheeler Dealer

Honor thy daddy

18. Molotov cocktails. “Dallas’s” best cocktail scene: Ellie worries Sue Ellen didn’t get enough to eat at dinner. J.R. waves around a liquor bottle and declares his wife “gets all the nourishment she needs from this.” He then declares Pam is “cracking up” and calls her daddy “a saddle tramp and a thief” and her mama “a whore.” That’s when Bobby (Patrick Duffy) punches J.R., forcing a furious Jock to separate them. Don’t you wish your family gatherings were this much fun?

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, Mastectomy Part 2, Miss Ellie Ewing

Great performances

17. Ellie gets cancer. Ellie gets breast cancer in the 1979 “Mastectomy” two-parter, which won Bel Geddes an Emmy. It’s a brave performance from the actress, who had been treated for the disease in real life. Davis is equally moving as Jock struggles to comfort his wife. In one scene, he tells her it “doesn’t matter” that she’s lost a breast. “Because I’m not young anymore?” she snaps. “Don’t you think I care the way I look?” Rarely has “Dallas” felt so real.

Dallas, Family Ewing

Bye, Bobby

16. Bobby’s funeral. After Bobby “dies” saving Pam, the Ewings bury him in a lush Southfork pasture, near the treehouse that Jock built for him as a boy. All of Bobby’s loved ones are there, including Pam, whose Jackie Kennedy-esque pillbox hat reinforces the idea that “Dallas’s” version of Camelot is ending. As the gathering disperses, J.R. movingly tells Bobby he wishes he’d taken the time to let him know how much he loved him. It’s one of the few times we see J.R. cry.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Paternity Suit, Tyler Banks

Welcome to fatherhood

15. J.R. becomes a daddy. When the Ewings learn the results of the paternity test that proves J.R., not Cliff, fathered John Ross, J.R. enters the Southfork nursery, picks up his son, holds him close and kisses him. According to “Dallas” historian Barbara A. Curran, CBS received 10,000 positive letters in response to J.R.’s embrace of his son. Later, David Jacobs, the show’s creator, called it “Dallas’s” best scene: “Just a private moment between J.R. and 100 million people.”

Dale Midkiff, Dallas, Dallas: The Early Years, Jock Ewing, Miss Ellie Ewing, Molly Hagan

When they were young

14. In the beginning. “Dallas: The Early Years,” Jacobs’ 1986 prequel movie, ends at a 1951 Southfork barbecue, where Jock and Ellie (Dale Midkiff, Molly Hagan) embrace as a teenaged J.R. spars with bratty Cliff. Moments later, Cliff drags kid sister Pammy away from her new playmate: Little Bobby. Jerrold Immel’s theme swells, the camera pulls back for a bird’s eye view of the ranch and then the familiar shots from “Dallas’s” famous titles sweep across the screen. Perfect.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing, Waterloo at Southfork

Mad mama

13. Mama vs. the cartel. When J.R.’s latest plot backfires and the cartel takes advantage of him, Ellie comes to junior’s defense. She summons the group to the Ewing Oil offices, where she blasts them, one by one. “I don’t apologize for what my son did,” Ellie says. “It’s a family matter. We may be wrong and we may be right, but we’re Ewings. We stick together – and that’s what makes us unbeatable.” Foolish oil barons. Shouldn’t they know better than to mess with mama?

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Long Goodbye, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Prey, meet hawk

12. A classic clash. During Bobby and Pam’s separation, J.R. tells her if she doesn’t go through with the divorce, he’ll destroy Bobby, Cliff and everyone else she cares about. “You’ve known me long enough to know I don’t make idle threats,” J.R. says as he circles her. The chilling moment tells us much about their rivalry. Cliff might have been J.R.’s most persistent enemy and Jeremy Wendell might have been the most powerful, but no one threatened J.R. quite like Pam.

Blast from the Past, Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy,

Good morning indeed

11. Bobby’s back! (Or is he?). CBS announced Duffy would return to “Dallas” a few weeks before the 1985-86 season finale aired, but no one knew how he’d come back or who he’d play. In the episode’s last scene, Pam awakens and finds Bobby – or someone who looks an awful lot like him – lathering up in her shower. No matter how you feel about the notorious “dream” twist, you have to admit: It was nice to have Duffy back on the show – and in his birthday suit no less!

Changing of the Guard, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Leonor Varela, Marta del Sol, TNT, Veronica Martinez

Welcome back

10. J.R. returns. TNT’s first episode ends with John Ross visiting J.R. in the nursing home. The younger man is dejected because Uncle Bobby just sold Southfork to conservationist Marta del Sol. But wait, what’s this? J.R. is sipping champagne with Marta! It turns out the two are in cahoots. “Bobby may not be stupid, but I’m a hell of a lot smarter,” J.R. tells his son as he doffs his Stetson and flashes his grin. For me, this is the moment I knew “Dallas” was truly back.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, New Beginnings, Sue Ellen Ewing

Two of a kind

9. J.R. and Sue Ellen reminisce. After putting John Ross to bed, J.R. and Sue Ellen retreat to their room, where they recall their courtship in warm, nostalgic terms. For a couple that is usually at war with each other, this scene is about the characters taking off their armor – symbolized by Sue Ellen’s dressing gown and J.R.’s removal of his coat and tie – and showing each other they still care. You can’t understand their love story until you’ve seen this moment.

Bobby Ewing, Check and Mate, Dallas, Larry Hagman, J.R. Ewing, Patrick Duffy

Lose some, win some

8. Bobby beats J.R. After a yearlong contest for control of Ewing Oil, Harv Smithfield declares J.R. the winner. But wait, what’s this? Here comes Thornton McLeish with news that Bobby’s Canadian fields have come in, making Bobby the victor. The twist concluded one of “Dallas’s” greatest storylines, an arc that touched all the characters and made “Tundra Torque” part of every “Dallas” diehard’s vocabulary. We never like to see J.R. get beat, but when Bobby does it, we let it slide.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Ellie Saves the Day, Miss Ellie Ewing

To the rescue

7. Ellie saves Southfork. J.R. secretly mortgages Southfork to finance a risky deal, only to have it blow up in his face. With the loans due, the Ewings scramble to pay the banks but come up empty. After a stroll around the ranch, Ellie gathers everyone and announces she’ll raise the cash by allowing Ewing Oil to drill on the land. It’s an early example of an enduring “Dallas” theme: Sometimes you have to set aside your principles to protect your family.

Dallas, Fall of the House of Ewing, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Omri Katz

Don’t forget it, boy

6. J.R. schools John Ross. J.R. is giving John Ross one last look around Ewing Oil when Wendell, the new owner, orders them off the premises. “Take this eyesore with you,” he says as he reaches for Jock’s portrait. J.R. is incensed: “Touch that painting and I’ll kill where you stand!” J.R. takes the picture off the wall, holds it aloft and – with trumpets blaring in the background – declares: “John Ross, this is Ewing Oil.” I dare you to watch this scene without getting chills.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Executive Wife, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, Patrick Duffy

Word

5. Jock schools Bobby. Bobby, furious that Jock has yanked millions of dollars out of Ewing Oil without telling him, interrupts Daddy’s lunch at the Cattlemen’s Club. “You gave me the power to run that company, and damn it, I intend to run it,” Bobby fumes. “Let me tell you something, boy,” Jock huffs. “If I did give you power, you got nothing. Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take!” Six words that sum up the Ewing creed – and “Dallas” itself.

Dallas, Family Business, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT

The man

4. The man comes around. The TNT episode “Family Business” ends on a thrilling note: With Johnny Cash’s “The Man Comes Around” playing in the background, Rebecca shoots Tommy, while back at the ranch, seriously ill Bobby collapses. The most poignant moment of all comes before the montage, when J.R. glances at Ellie’s picture, takes a shot of bourbon and signs the Southfork deed, returning ownership to Bobby. In that instant, our hero grows. So does “Dallas.”

Dallas, J.R.'s Masterpiece, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Farewell, J.R.

3. J.R.’s funeral. “Dallas” bids farewell to J.R. with a moving, instant-classic episode featuring Emmy-worthy performances from Gray and Duffy. Who’ll ever forget Sue Ellen getting drunk in J.R.’s bedroom the night before his burial, or her heartbreaking eulogy? What about the poignant final scene, when Bobby spots J.R.’s hat and tearfully declares, “I love you brother.” This is the moment the TNT series rose to the occasion – and then surpassed it.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Pam Ewing, Swan Song, Victoria Principal

Saving the day, again

2. “Swan Song.” Leonard Katzman’s masterpiece. Donna reveals her pregnancy to Ray. J.R. threatens to send Sue Ellen back in the sanitarium. Pam nobly tells Bobby to go back to Jenna, but he chooses Pam instead. It culminates with the dramatic driveway sequence in which Katherine runs over Bobby, followed by his deathbed farewell, the most moving scene in “Dallas” history. It’s all so beautifully done, it’s almost enough to make you regret it turned out be a dream.

Dallas, House Divided, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Top gun

1. “Who Shot J.R.?” “Dallas’s” most famous storyline is also its greatest extended moment, and not just because it sparked a worldwide phenomenon. Nothing better demonstrates the show’s ability to create multi-dimensional characters who fascinate audiences and make us care. Despite his dastardliness, after J.R. was shot, we couldn’t help but feel sympathetic toward him as he struggled to regain his ability to walk and cope with his exile from Ewing Oil. Likewise, once Kristin was identified as his assailant – in a broadcast watched by 83 million people – how could you not feel sorry for her, especially after J.R. vowed to “handle” her his “own way”? Will “Dallas” ever top this moment? Who knows? I just hope the people who make the show never stop trying.

Now it’s your turn. Share your choices for “Dallas’s” greatest moments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

Critique: TNT’s ‘Dallas’ Episode 18 – ‘J.R.’s Masterpiece’

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, J.R.'s Masterpiece, Larry Hagman, TNT

Still here

It isn’t quite accurate to call “J.R.’s Masterpiece” the first “Dallas” episode without J.R. Ewing. Our hero is present, even if he isn’t physically there. We see Larry Hagman in the special opening credits, which offer a moving, mournful version of Jerrold Immel’s classic theme music and memorably end with J.R. disappearing into white light. Beyond that, we feel J.R.’s spirit in every scene, every line, every breath. It’s gratifying and even a little exhilarating to see the show honor this character so thoroughly. This will be remembered as the hour that Cynthia Cidre, Michael M. Robin and seemingly everyone else associated with “Dallas” rose to the occasion – and then surpassed it.

The two most unforgettable moments in “J.R.’s Masterpiece” belong to Linda Gray. In the first, Sue Ellen enters J.R.’s bedroom on the night before his funeral and removes from her purse the letter he sent her before his death. She sits at his table, looks at a framed photograph from their second wedding and smiles. Then she notices J.R.’s decanter of bourbon, emblazoned with his name. With the sad country tune “The Bottom” playing in the background, Sue Ellen pours herself a glass and contemplates it for a few moments, just like she did with the wineglass in “Venomous Creatures,” an earlier second-season episode. On that occasion, J.R. arrived on her doorstep and gave her the encouragement she needed to resist temptation. This time around, he isn’t here to save her. And so Sue Ellen downs the bourbon. Hard. And then she pours herself another glass. And then another.

It’s a tense, wrenching scene on its own, but I also appreciate how it echoes one of my favorite moments from TNT’s other great “Dallas” episode, the first-season entry “Family Business.” In that scene, J.R. sits at the same table, glances at a picture of Miss Ellie and takes a swig of bourbon before signing the Southfork deed over to Bobby. In a show where the booze flows as freely as ever, both scenes are about J.R. and Sue Ellen turning to the bottle to find courage they can’t muster on their own. He needs it to do the right thing, she needs it to just get through the night.

Seeing Sue Ellen fall off the wagon is tough for me and other longtime “Dallas” fans who remember how hard she fought to get sober. But I’m also the first to admit that her relapse makes riveting television. I have no idea where “Dallas” will take Gray’s character after “J.R.’s Masterpiece,” but my guess is she won’t return to the path of self-destruction. Sue Ellen isn’t the woman she used to be. She’s wiser, more confident, more aware. We see this during the episode’s other great moment: her mesmerizing eulogy at J.R.’s gravesite, where she confesses her relapse to the other Ewings. “I’m a bit drunk right now,” she says. This line startles me even more than the one at the top of the hour, when the Mexican policewoman announces J.R.’s death. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Sue Ellen acknowledge her demons so forthrightly, which makes me think she’ll find the courage to reclaim her sobriety sooner rather than later.

As remarkable as Sue Ellen’s admission is, the most emotional part of her speech comes when she reads aloud J.R.’s letter. He writes, “For me to apologize now for all the wrongs I’ve done you would take up all the time I’ve got left. So I’m hoping it will suffice for me to say that I was never worthy of you.” The note ends with a request: “When I get back to Dallas, will you have dinner with me?” But that’s not what J.R. is actually asking, is it? He really wants to know if Sue Ellen will forgive him for all those “wrongs.” She knows this too, which is why it’s so heartbreaking when she kneels, touches his casket and sobs, “Yes, yes, J.R. The answer is yes.”

‘He Never Pretended’

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R.'s Masterpiece, Patrick Duffy, TNT

Grand scheme

The other eulogies in Cidre’s script are beautifully written, capturing the essence of each character’s connection to J.R. with an impressive economy of words. In his speech, Bobby says, “Throughout my life, it’s pretty much been easy for me to do good, because I could always count on J.R. to do bad. … Now I have to figure out just what I’m supposed to do in this grand scheme of things.”

When I wrote down this line and looked at it, I realized it could be seen as Bobby’s response to J.R.’s admission last season, when he told Bobby, “I don’t know who I’d be without you.” The line acknowledged what the audience always knew – that J.R. was incapable of checking his worst impulses and needed Bobby to do it for him. Now, hearing Bobby wonder aloud what he’ll do without J.R. raises the intriguing prospect that Patrick Duffy, always the unsung hero of this franchise, will soon be able to show us other sides to his character.

In the other eulogies, Ray recalls fearing how he could never make his father proud the way J.R. did, which isn’t exactly how I remember Jock’s sentiments toward J.R. and Ray, but the speech nonetheless reflects the deep-seated insecurities that always haunted Steve Kanaly’s humble cowboy. Ted Shackelford also does a nice job delivering Gary’s single line (“Every step backwards or forward I ever took in my life was because of J.R.”), which perfectly fits his tortured character – and probably every other Ewing.

The most unexpected tribute comes from Lucy. “Things I thought were so horrible that J.R. did just seem honest now,” she says. “He never pretended to be anything other than himself.” It’s surprising to hear Lucy offer admiration for J.R., yet you can’t deny the profundity of her statement. I’m also touched by the shot Robin, the director, gives us of Lucy weeping during the funeral. Given Charlene Tilton’s well-known affection for Hagman in real life, I have no doubt those tears come from the actress’s heart.

It would be wrong to overlook the newer cast members, who are every bit as impressive as the “Dallas” veterans during this sequence. Jordana Brewster’s tears move me when Elena recalls the pep talk J.R. gave her after her father’s death (“Honey, how are you going to make your daddy proud?”), and I also appreciate Jesse Metcalfe’s Duffy-esque stoicism during Christopher’s speech, when he remembers J.R.’s attempt to comfort him after Pam abandoned the family: “I don’t know why your mama left, Christopher. Especially when she had such a good, smart little boy like you. But you’re a Ewing now. So stop crying and behave like one.”

It’s somewhat surprising that Josh Henderson has no lines at J.R.’s burial. Then again, are any needed? The dazed expression Henderson wears throughout this episode and especially at the funeral tells us everything we need to know about what John Ross is feeling.

‘What You Choose to Recall’

Dallas, J.R.'s Masterpiece, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

The bottom

Not all of the dramatic moments in “J.R.’s Masterpiece” happen at the funeral. Duffy and Brenda Strong have a big fight scene that’s been a long time coming, as Bobby lashes out at Ann for keeping so many secrets from him during the course of their marriage. And as with all of the new “Dallas’s” best episodes, the smaller moments are touching too. Christopher comforts Sue Ellen when she breaks down in the morgue. Ray reaches for her hands as she returns to her seat after her eulogy. Bobby sits alone in J.R.’s room and notices his brother’s hat hanging on the back of the chair.

The lighter moments are welcome too. The best of these is seeing Sue Ellen commiserate with Cally and Mandy at the memorial, a surprisingly sweet scene that offers another reminder of how much Sue Ellen has grown. It’s also hard to not get a kick out of Ken Kercheval’s appearance, when Cliff crashes the memorial, ranting and raving about the Barnes/Ewing feud. As much as I’ve come to enjoy Kercheval’s performance on the new “Dallas” as the Godfather-like Cliff, it’s nice to be reminded of his character’s combustible side.

The other highlight of “J.R.’s Masterpiece”: the music. Merle Haggard’s “My Favorite Memory,” with its references to “what you choose to recall,” opens J.R.’s Petroleum Club memorial, setting the stage for the unexpectedly warm reminiscing that follows. I also like the foreboding strings at the top of the hour, when Bobby, Sue Ellen, John Ross and Christopher arrive in Mexico. Equally haunting: what sounds like Alison Krauss’s version of “Down to the River to Pray,” which is interspersed throughout the graveside eulogies. The most memorable song, though, remains Tara Holloway’s spectacular rendition of “The Bottom” during Sue Ellen’s relapse. Who will ever be able to listen to that song again without thinking of Linda Gray’s incredible performance in that scene?

As for the mystery that begins in the closing moments of “J.R.’s Masterpiece”? I’ll confess: When I read that Cidre, Robin and company planned to kill off Hagman’s character with another “Who Shot J.R.?” mystery, I cringed. I didn’t want my hero to go down in defeat. But the idea that J.R. spent his final days crafting a “masterpiece” scheme against his enemies – a grand plan that will now be carried out by his family – might mean ol’ J.R. will be able to go out on top after all.

All of the questions raised by the end of the episode are tantalizing. Why was J.R. tracking down Christopher’s “mother” – and which mother are we talking about: Kristin or Pam? Will John Ross end up using the gun that J.R. left him? Could there be significance to Christopher’s vow to help John Ross find J.R.’s killer so they can confront the bad guy (or gal) as “brothers”? What’s in the document that J.R. left for Bobby, and what should we make of Bobby’s tearful smile and last line: “I knew you’d have at least one more left up your sleeve, J.R. It is a good one. I love you brother.”

Until we get the answers, we won’t know what J.R.’s masterpiece will be. But at least we know what “Dallas’s” looks like.

Grade: A+

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dallas, J.R.'s Masterpiece, TNT

Hat tip

‘J.R.’s MASTERPIECE’

Season 2, Episode 8

Telecast: March 11, 2013

Writer: Cynthia Cidre

Director: Michael M. Robin

Audience: 3.6 million viewers on March 11

Synopsis: Bobby, Sue Ellen, John Ross and Christopher learn J.R. was shot and killed during a robbery in Mexico. Sue Ellen falls off the wagon. After the funeral, Bum reveals J.R. had been searching for Christopher’s mother and that he went to Mexico to follow a lead on Harris. J.R. also leaves a gun for John Ross and a document for Bobby, who refuses to reveal its contents to John Ross and Christopher.

Cast: Kuno Becker (Drew Ramos), Emma Bell (Emma Brown), Jordana Brewster (Elena Ramos), Mark Cuban (himself), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Marlene Forte (Carmen Ramos), Julie Gonzalo (Pamela Barnes), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Castulo Guerra (Carlos del Sol), Josh Henderson (John Ross Ewing), Robert Anthony Hunt (minister), Jerry Jones (himself), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Jesse Metcalfe (Christopher Ewing), Kevin Page (Bum), Hugo Perez (Dr. Garcia), Mitch Pileggi (Harris Ryland), Cathy Podewell (Cally), Mayor Mark Rawlings (himself), Tony Sears (George GIilchriest), Ted Shackelford (Gary Ewing), Deborah Shelton (Mandy), Brenda Strong (Ann Ewing), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing)

“J.R.’s Masterpiece” is available at DallasTNT.com, Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Dallas Burning Questions: Season 2, Week 7

Goodbye, J.R.

Goodbye, J.R.

Here are the questions we’re pondering as we await tonight’s telecast of “J.R.’s Masterpiece,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode.

Who killed J.R.? In “The Furious and the Fast,” last week’s episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) went to Abu Dhabi to close an oil deal while his private eye Bum (Kevin Page) snooped into Harris’s past. Meanwhile, John Ross (Josh Henderson) was disappointed when his latest scheme against Bobby and Christopher (Patrick Duffy, Jesse Metcalfe) failed. In the final scene, J.R. called John Ross and tried to buck him up. “Don’t you worry, son. I’ve got a plan. It’s going to be my masterpiece,” J.R. said. The call was interrupted when John Ross heard two gunshots on the other end of the line. Who would want J.R. dead?

How will the Ewings cope? J.R.’s death is bound to put a lot of pressure on the Ewings, who are already in turmoil. Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) is cozying up to Gary (Ted Shackelford) in an attempt to undermine his alliance with Bobby. John Ross feels betrayed by Pamela (Julie Gonzalo), who sided with Christopher during their fight over Ewing Energies. Elsewhere, Ann (Brenda Strong) has allowed Emma (Emma Bell) to move into Southfork, which is sure to infuriate Harris (Mitch Pileggi), while Elena and Drew (Jordana Brewster, Kuno Becker) want to reclaim their father’s land from the Ewings so they can drill it. Will J.R.’s death bring these people closer together – or push them further apart?

What secrets will be revealed? J.R.’s funeral will bring a lot of familiar faces back to Dallas, including half-brother Ray (Steve Kanaly), niece Lucy (Charlene Tilton) and ex-wife Cally (Cathy Podewell), as well as Cliff (Ken Kercheval), his mortal enemy, and Mandy (Deborah Shelton), his longtime mistress. Once the memories start flowing, will the skeletons come tumbling out of the closet too?

What “Dallas Burning Questions” are on your mind? Share your comments below and watch TNT’s “Dallas” tonight.

The Dal-List: Classic ‘Dallas’s’ 10 Most Memorable Monologues

Ann Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, TNT, Trial and Error

Testify!

Few will forget the courtroom testimony that Ann (Brenda Strong) delivered at the end of “Trial and Error,” last week’s “Dallas” episode. Here’s a look at the Barneses’ and Ewings’ 10 most memorable monologues from the original series and its “Knots Landing” spinoff.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

Curses!

10. Miss Ellie’s lament. With the Ewing empire on the brink of collapse, Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) goes to the site of Jock’s first strike and curses his memory. “Damn it all, Jock. You couldn’t have been an insurance salesman. Or a shoe salesman. No, you had to have oil in your blood. In your heart. And now … our sons are fighting for their lives.” It’s one of the better moments from one of the show’s better later episodes. (“Judgment Day”)

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

She remembers mama

9. Pam’s discovery. Pam (Victoria Principal), believing Rebecca Wentworth is her long-lost mother, confronts the Houston matron in her opulent home. “I found you. You’re alive. And I’m so happy. I don’t know how to tell you how happy I am,” she says through tears. With every line, Principal seems to reveal a little more of herself, so much so that by the end of the speech, her lip quivers uncontrollably. Bravo. (“The Prodigal Mother”)

Dallas, Priscilla Pointer, Rebecca Barnes Wentworth

Runaway mom

8. Rebecca’s confession. After denying her identity, Rebecca (Priscilla Pointer) sits with Pam on a park bench and tells her the truth: She is, in fact, Pam’s mother. “I never divorced Digger,” Rebecca says as her voice begins to crack. “I was afraid that if I tried, he’d find me, and drag me back to that awful life. Pamela, I saw a chance for happiness, and I took it. Don’t blame me for that.” Pointer’s delivery is hauntingly beautiful. (“The Prodigal Mother”)

Dallas, Gary Ewing, Knots Landing, Ted Shackelford

No beach bum

7. Gary’s mea culpa. Gary (Ted Shackelford) begs Lucy to stay in Knots Landing and apologizes for his past sins, telling her he’s trying hard to be a better man. “I’m not a loser anymore,” Gary says. At one point, he becomes tongue-tied, as if he can’t find the words to convey his guilt and regret. In the DVD commentary, Shackelford laughs and suggests he paused because he couldn’t remember his next line. No matter. It still works. (“Home is For Healing”)

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Bye bye, love

6. Sue Ellen’s kiss-off. In Linda Gray’s “Dallas” departure, Sue Ellen shows J.R. the scandalous movie she’s made about their marriage – and vows to screen it for the public only if he misbehaves. “If I feel that you’re not doing right by John Ross … or if I get up on the wrong side of the bed one morning. Or if I’m simply bored – then I’ll release the movie. And then, J.R., you will be the laughingstock of Texas.” Corny? Sure, but also mighty triumphant – and darn memorable. (“Reel Life”)

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Ken Kercheval

Never too late

5. Cliff’s regret. My favorite Ken Kercheval scene: Cliff summons Miss Ellie to a park and apologizes for perpetuating his father’s grudge against the Ewings. “Digger was wrong, and I was wrong. If it’s not too late. I’d like to make peace. I’d like to ask you to forgive me,” Cliff says. In an interview with Dallas Decoder, Kercheval fondly recalled his friendship with Bel Geddes. What a shame these two pros didn’t get more screen time together. (“Brother Can You Spare a Child?”)

Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing

American dad

4. Jock’s plea. After Pam suffered her first heartbreaking miscarriage, Jock (Jim Davis) sat at her bedside and begged her and Bobby not to leave Southfork. “Us Ewings, we’re just not an easy family to live with, as you found out. We’ve had things our way for so long that maybe – well, maybe it got in the way of our being just people. I guess that you don’t have no reason to really care, but I want to keep my family together.” Who knew the old man could be so soft? (“Barbecue”)

Dallas, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

He knows father best

3. Ray’s tribute. Ray (Steve Kanaly) tries to make Miss Ellie accept Jock’s death by reminding her of his humanity. “He was a man, just like anybody else. He had friends. He had lots of friends. But he had enemies, too. He was human, ambitious. He knew that the oil game was rough, hardball all the way. But he wanted what was best for his wife, and for his sons. And he did what he thought was right.” The most honest eulogy Jock ever received. (“Acceptance”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Honor thy daddy

2. J.R.’s promise. J.R. (Larry Hagman), after slipping into a depression over Jock’s death, addresses a portrait of his father. “I’m back, Daddy. And nobody’s going to take Ewing Oil away from me. Or my son, or his son. I swear to you. By God, I’m going to make you proud of me.” The combination of Hagman’s conviction, scriptwriter David Paulsen’s dialogue and Bruce Broughton’s rousing score never fails to give me chills. (“The Phoenix”)

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy

Exit the hero

1. Bobby’s goodbye. As Bobby (Patrick Duffy) lay dying in his hospital bed, he bids his family farewell. To Miss Ellie: “Oh, Mama. I’m sorry.” To Pam: “All that wasted time. We should’ve been married.” He seems to be looking at J.R. when he delivers his last words: “Be a family. I love you so much.” Duffy has never been better, and when the monitor flatlines and Principal leaps? Fuhgeddaboudit! Yes, the scene’s emotional impact is diminished somewhat by the fact it turned out to be a dream. Still, does “Dallas” get better than this? (“Swan Song”)

Which “Dallas” monologues moved you most? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

The Dal-List: The 5 Most Egregious Ewing Arrests

Ann Ewing, Bobby Ewing, Brenda Strong, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, False Confessions, Jesse Metcalfe, Patrick Duffy, TNT

Family tradition

In “False Confessions,”  TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode, Bobby (Patrick Duffy) tries to protect Ann by telling the police he shot Harris. Like John Ross’s arrest for Marta’s murder last season, this latest incident is part of an old tradition of Ewings getting in trouble for crimes they didn’t commit. Here’s a look at the five most egregious Ewing arrests from the original “Dallas” and “Knots Landing.”

Cally Harper Ewing, Cathy Podewell, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Under the gun

5. The Ewing: J.R. (Larry Hagman)

The crime: Cally Harper’s “rape”

The arrest: When J.R. went to Arkansas on a hunting trip, he met backwoods beauty Cally and became smitten. After they spent the night together, her shotgun-toting brothers showed up, followed quickly by Sheriff Hanks, who charged J.R. with rape.

The real criminal: J.R. was guilty of many things, but his relationship with Cally was consensual. The real bad guys were Hanks, who refused to allow J.R. to make a single phone call from jail, and the justice of the peace, who sentenced him to 10 years in prison. Of course, J.R. did himself no favors when he interrupted his trial to declare, “You people got to be kidding. Hell, I can buy this whole town with the change I got in my pocket!”

Level of egregiousness (scale of 1 to 10): J.R.’s arrest gets a 5, but the egregiousness of this silly storyline deserves a big, fat 10.

Dallas, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

Dial “M” for murder?

4. The Ewing: Ray Krebbs (Steve Kanaly)

The crime: Mickey Trotter’s death

The arrest: After Ray’s cousin Mickey was paralyzed in a car crash, someone pulled the plug on his life support system. The police arrested Ray, who had blocked the door to Mickey’s hospital room so the doctors and nurses couldn’t revive him.

The real criminal: In dramatic testimony at Ray’s trial, his aunt Lillian Trotter, Mickey’s mother, confessed she wanted her son to die with dignity and decided to pull the plug. Lil didn’t have the strength to do it, so she asked Ray to help her. Ever the obedient nephew, Ray obliged.

Level of egregiousness: 6. Ray was technically guilty and the judge sentenced him to five years in the state penitentiary – but immediately suspended the sentence because he said Ray was such a nice guy. Seems like sound legal reasoning to me.

Gary Ewing, Knots Landing, Ted Shackelford

He usually loves bars

3. The Ewing: Gary (Ted Shackelford)

The crime: Ciji Dunne’s murder

The arrest: Gary befriended Ciji, an aspiring singer, but when her star began to rise, his self-esteem began to plummet. Gary went on a bender and woke up the next morning on the Knots Landing beach, not far from Ciji’s seaweed-strewn body. The police suspected he killed her during a booze-fueled rage and hauled him off to jail.

The real criminal: Chip Roberts, Ciji’s boyfriend. Eventually the cops figured out Chip murdered Ciji when she became pregnant with his child and refused to have an abortion. Ciji had also discovered Chip was really a con artist named Tony Fenice.

Level of egregiousness: 7. The Knots Landing police should’ve known better than to arrest Gary. All they had to do was call Sheriff Washburn back in Braddock. He could’ve told them: Never arrest a Ewing!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, Who Shot J.R.?

Ready for her close-up

2. The Ewing: Sue Ellen (Linda Gray)

The crime: J.R.’s shooting

The arrest: There was no shortage of suspects when an unseen assailant gunned down J.R. in his office. When Jock discovered the weapon in J.R. and Sue Ellen’s bedroom closet, he turned it over to the cops, who decided it was all the proof they needed to arrest Sue Ellen for the crime.

The real criminal: Kristin Shepard, Sue Ellen’s sister, who wanted to get back at J.R. for trying to run her out of town. Sue Ellen figured out Kristin had framed her by planting the gun in the closet. (But no one ever answered the question: How did Kristin know Jock would go snooping there?)

Level of egregiousness: 8. Arresting Sue Ellen was a travesty of justice! The only way she’d ever shoot J.R. would be if he – oh, I don’t know – tossed one of her lovers off a high-rise balcony. But what are the odds of something like that happening?

Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing

Jailhouse Jock

1. The Ewing: Jock (Jim Davis)

The crime: Hutch McKinney’s murder

The arrest: When Ray began building a home on Southfork, the construction crew uncovered the remains of the long-missing McKinney, one of Ray’s predecessors as ranch foreman. Sheriff Washburn’s investigation determined McKinney had been shot with Jock’s gun, not long after Jock and McKinney had had a knock-down-drag-out brawl in a local saloon.

The real criminal: Digger Barnes, who killed McKinney when he discovered he had impregnated Digger’s wife Rebecca and was planning to run away with her. Digger confessed his crime on his deathbed, where he also told Pam that McKinney was her biological father.

Level of egregiousness: 11. Throw Jock Ewing in jail? That’s something you just don’t do. When a reporter asked the old man how he felt about being arrested, Jock huffed, “I’m mad as hell, boy.” Who could blame him?

Which Ewing arrests do you consider the most egregious? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”