Susan Howard – Dallas Decoder

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 174 — ‘Déjà Vu’

July 6, 2015 by Chris Baker 5 Comments

Dallas, Deja Vu, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Game of phones

What could be unholier than an alliance between J.R. Ewing and Cliff Barnes? In “Déjà Vu,” the sworn enemies agree to work together to keep Bobby and Pam apart. The scene where J.R. and Cliff meet in a dive bar and toast their partnership is one of the episode’s highlights, and not just because it’s one of the few times in “Dallas” history that Larry Hagman and Ken Kercheval are civil to each other on screen. The scene also demonstrates how their characters are beginning to change, if not grow. In an era when many of the show’s creative risks don’t pay off, here’s one that works.

“Déjà Vu” begins with the Ewings reeling after Jenna leaves Bobby at the altar on their wedding day. After the guests are sent home, J.R. and Bobby head to Ewing Oil and pull out all the stops to determine why she ran away — even ordering their secretaries to report to the office on a Saturday to help track down the runaway bride. (Why weren’t the secretaries invited to the wedding?) Later, J.R. receives a mysterious phone call from someone who wants to get together to discuss the situation. We don’t learn the caller’s identity until J.R. shows up in the bar and takes a seat across from Cliff, who tells him now that Bobby is free, he’s afraid he’ll reunite with Pam. J.R. agrees he and Cliff should do everything they can to stop such a reconciliation from taking place. “Maybe this is the one time a Ewing and a Barnes ought to work together,” J.R. says.

It’s fun to watch Hagman and Kercheval clink beer glasses, although this scene has more going for it than the novelty factor. For starters, the exchange shows how much Cliff has changed. Think about it: He’s the character in control here. Cliff calls the meeting, sets the time and location, and suggests the alliance with J.R. Since the eighth season began, we’ve seen Cliff become smarter and more successful, and now we know he can scheme with the best of them. J.R. has changed too: There was a time he wouldn’t have given his archenemy the time of day, but here he treats Cliff as an equal. (J.R. has always been more willing to join forces with Pam, who he probably considers a worthier adversary.) Some fans want Cliff always to lose and J.R. always to win, but I admire “Dallas’s” willingness to allow the characters to evolve. Besides, it’s not like they won’t slide back into their familiar roles eventually.

The title “Déjà Vu” points to Bobby’s backstory — Jenna also left him at the altar when the characters were younger — although I’m more interested in another blast from the past: the return of the terrific Sarah Cunningham as Maggie, the woman who raised Cliff and Pam. In the storyline, Cliff and Mandy visit Maggie to see what she knows about Jamie Ewing’s claim that Jock, Jason and Digger were equal partners in Ewing Oil. After Cliff arrives on her doorstep and pulls out some photos of Christopher, she invites him and Mandy into the backyard to discuss what’s really on his mind. “If I know my brother’s son, he didn’t drive three hours to Marshall on a Saturday just to show me baby pictures,” she says. That line alone makes me wish “Dallas” had used Cunningham more frequently. The actress is so natural and believable; the show would have benefitted from her homespun charm.

“Déjà Vu” also features James Cromwell’s first appearance as Gerald Kane, the pilot who approaches Pam with the bombshell news that he flew Mark Graison to a clinic in the Caribbean to seek a cure for his disease. Cromwell, who later received an Oscar nomination for his role as the farmer in “Babe,” is quite good in his scene with Victoria Principal. At the end of the episode, we learn Kane is secretly working for J.R. — a neat twist that probably would have been even more surprising if it had come later, once Cromwell’s character was more established. I wonder why the show exposed his connection to J.R. so soon?

Other “Déjà Vu” highlights include the scene where Ray assures Bobby that Jenna loves him — in a few years, Ray will be doubting Jenna’s love for him once they begin a relationship — as well as a nice moment when Maggie’s lawyer visits Cliff and suggests Digger must have been a gentleman. Cliff beams, reminding us that he sees his father differently than most of the other characters on this show. I also like the scene where Sue Ellen receives the call from J.R. informing her that Jenna has skipped town. After Sue Ellen hangs up, Miss Ellie and Donna eagerly ask her what J.R. said. As the music swells, Linda Gray keeps her back to Donna Reed and Susan Howard, looks into the distance and solemnly intones, “He said to send the guests home. The wedding is off.” It’s the kind of dramatic delivery that only occurs on soap operas, which is what makes it so wonderful.

This scene also leads to my biggest gripe with “Déjà Vu.” Once word reaches the Ewings that the wedding has been canceled, Ray volunteers to send the guests home, and Ellie agrees. It’s another example of how Ellie is being written differently since the show recast the role with Reed. Having Ellie defer to Ray makes her seem uncharacteristically delicate. This is a woman who once stared down an angry mob at a Ewing Barbecue, after all. Giving Reed the line where the guests are sent home might seem like a small thing, but it would have given her an opportunity to show some of the mettle we’ve come to expect from our beloved Mama.

Grade: B

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Deja Vu, Ken Kercheval

Look who’s scheming

‘DÉJÀ VU’

Season 8, Episode 13

Airdate: December 21, 1984

Audience: 19.5 million homes, ranking 4th in the weekly ratings

Writer: David Paulsen

Director: Leonard Katzman

Synopsis: Naldo blackmails Jenna into remarrying him by threatening to keep her from Charlie, whom he sends to Italy. Pam is approached by a pilot who claims he flew Mark to the Caribbean, but she doesn’t realize the man works for J.R. Cliff searches Digger’s old legal papers, hoping to find a copy of Jamie’s document.

Cast: Burke Byrnes (Pete Adams), James Cromwell (Gerald Kane), Sarah Cunningham (Maggie Monahan), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Jenilee Harrison (Jamie Ewing), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Fredric Lehne (Eddie Cronin), Shalane McCall (Charlie Wade), Daniel Pilon (Renaldo Marchetta), Priscilla Beaulieu Presley (Jenna Wade), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Donna Reed (Miss Ellie Farlow), Sherril Lynn Rettino (Jackie Dugan), Deborah Shelton (Mandy Winger), Danone Simpson (Kendall), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing), Deborah Tranelli (Phyllis)

“Déjà Vu” is available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Filed Under: Critiques, Critiques (Classic), Opinion Tagged With: Déjà Vu, Donna Reed, James Cromwell, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sarah Cunningham, Susan Howard

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘Be Nice to the Little Orphan’

July 1, 2015 by Chris Baker 3 Comments

Dallas, Do You Take This Woman?, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Hard knock life

In “Do You Take This Woman?,” an eighth-season “Dallas” episode, J.R. (Larry Hagman) is ranting in the Southfork living room, where Miss Ellie (Donna Reed), Clayton (Howard Keel), Bobby (Patrick Duffy), Sue Ellen (Linda Gray), Ray (Steve Kanaly) and Donna (Susan Howard) are gathered.

J.R.: I knew it. I knew that girl was trouble the moment she walked through the gate. But no, no, everybody said, “You’ve got to be nice to the little orphan because she’s family.” Well, I tell you, if that’s family, she’s not going to be in this house.

SUE ELLEN: J.R., calm down.

J.R.: Calm down? After what’s she done to us? Trotting out that phony piece of paper and having Clayton read it in front of everybody? I tell you, as far as I’m concerned, she is out of this house now. Tonight!

BOBBY: Now wait a minute.

ELLIE: This is my house, J.R. I will decide if she leaves, and when.

SUE ELLEN: Don’t you think we should at least talk to her about it first?

J.R.: Well, how? She’s got herself barricaded in her bedroom upstairs?

SUE ELLEN: She’ll talk to me. [Rises, exits]

J.R.: Well, good. Maybe you’ll find out what she’s trying to pull.

CLAYTON: How do you know she’s trying to pull anything?

RAY: How do you know that paper is phony?

J.R.: Well, how come we haven’t seen or heard about it before? Bobby, you went through Daddy’s papers with me. Did you see anything vaguely resembling that?

BOBBY: I didn’t see anything that mentioned Jason’s name. Mama, did Daddy ever talk to you about divvying up the company like that?

ELLIE: No, I admit he never did. And I never saw a document like that either.

J.R.: Clayton, you said that Sam Culver drew up that document. Donna, when you were going through Sam’s diaries and records and everything when you were writing those books, did you see anything?

DONNA: No, not that I remember. But then I wasn’t looking for anything like that, J.R. I mean, it could have been there. I just didn’t see it.

BOBBY: You still have the papers?

DONNA: I know where they are. It’ll take me some time to go through them.

J.R.: Well, we better do something — and damn quick. Can you imagine sharing Daddy’s company with Cliff Barnes?

Watch this scene in “Do You Take This Woman?,” available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes, and share your comments below.

Filed Under: Dallas Scenes of the Day, Dallas Scenes of the Day (Classic), Features Tagged With: Do You Take This Woman?, Donna Reed, Howard Keel, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Steve Kanaly, Susan Howard

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 172 — ‘Barbecue Five’

June 29, 2015 by Chris Baker 18 Comments

Barbecue Five, Dallas, Fern Fitzgerald, Jamie Ewing, Jenilee Harrison, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Marilee Stone

The middle

“Barbecue Five” ranks among “Dallas’s” best barbecue episodes because it delivers almost everything we expect from a Ewing hoedown. There’s a fight, a dunking in the Southfork swimming pool and a dramatic revelation, along with crowds of people dancing, drinking and sweltering under the Texas sun. The only thing missing is a scene of two characters sneaking off to the barn for a romantic interlude, although we do get to see Jeremy Wendell wearing a cowboy hat. That alone is worth the price of admission, as far as I’m concerned.

This episode is probably best remembered for the clash between Jamie Ewing and Marilee Stone. “Dallas” doesn’t do a lot of catfights, so when these scenes occur, they almost always feel justified. (The best examples: Pam striking Katherine and Donna socking Bonnie, the barfly who slept with Ray.) In this instance, Jamie spots Marilee pawing J.R. and confronts her. Insults are exchanged, and then Marilee slaps Jamie, who retaliates by pushing Marilee into the pool. This is the first time I find myself cheering for Jenilee Harrison, whose character I’ve found hard to embrace, although I also admire how Fern Fitzgerald plays the obnoxious, overbearing Marilee to the hilt. Of course, both actresses end up being upstaged by Larry Hagman, who delivers one of the immortal “Dallas” lines when J.R. reaches into the pool to retrieve Marilee and asks, “You all right honey? Did it go up your nose?” Why do I get the feeling Hagman is ad-libbing here?

It’s also fun to see how smoothly each scene flows into the next. An example: Lucy and Eddie are dancing, and as they move out of camera range, J.R. and Sue Ellen enter the frame. We listen to their conversation for a few moments, and then J.R. nods to Bobby and Jenna, and the focus shifts to them. It’s all seamless, with one exception: a shot of Ray and Donna kissing becomes a scene in which Sue Ellen, J.R. and Jeremy talk shop while strolling through the crowd — except when Steve Kanaly and Susan Howard lock lips, you can see Hagman, Linda Gray and William Smithers in the distance, waiting for their cue to begin walking and talking. This is a minor oversight, of course, and I don’t mind it in the least because it makes me appreciate how artfully director Gwen Arner orchestrates all the other transitions.

Like other barbecue episodes, “Barbecue Five” was filmed in the summer, which means the actors are forced to sweat through uncomfortable looking western-flavored costumes. Most of the women wear long dresses and cowgirl boots, while Hagman and Howard Keel each don sport coats and scarves. Also, notice how the back of Fredric Lehne’s shirt is soaked with perspiration when Eddie spins Lucy on the dance floor. Another tradition honored here: the dramatic, episode-ending revelation. Past barbecues have concluded with the news that Jock’s helicopter crashed and that Miss Ellie and Clayton have become engaged, while “Barbecue Five” ends with Jamie’s announcement that she’s entitled to a share of Ewing Oil. This signals the birth of one of “Dallas’s” most tiresome tropes during its later years, when the focus of the business storylines shifts from making deals to a never-ending game of musical owners.

“Barbecue Five” also gives us the memorable scene where J.R. and Mandy continue their cat-and-mouse flirtation while dining in a private box at Texas Stadium. Both characters are spying on each other — J.R. wants dirt on Cliff, while Mandy wants intelligence that she can report back to him — but their ulterior motives are slowly being overtaken by their mutual attraction to each other. We also learn a lot about Mandy here. She tells J.R., “I’ve always known I was beautiful,” yet the line makes the character seem more confident than conceited. A lot of that has to do with Deborah Shelton, who is so stunning, there’s no point in having her character pretend otherwise.

Other “Barbecue Five” highlights include Jeremy’s annoyance when Cliff crashes his private lunch (Ken Kercheval’s scenes with Smithers are almost as golden as the Hagman/Kercheval pairings), as well as Naldo’s dinner with Jenna and Charlie. Any appearance by Naldo usually elicits an eye roll from me, but I’ll be darned if I don’t find him kind of charming as he tells Charlie about idolizing Tom Mix during his boyhood in Italy. Meanwhile, with her exotic white-streaked hair, character actress Ronnie Claire Edwards is perfectly cast as Lydia, the psychic Pam consults in her quest to find Mark. I also like how Lydia tells Pam that a “tall,” “athletic” and “handsome” man will be coming back into her life. Gee, I wonder who she’s describing? Something tells me it isn’t Mr. Graison.

I also love “Barbecue Five’s” opening, when Sue Ellen brings Jamie to Ewing Oil for her first day of work as the receptionist. It’s routine now, but everything about this scene — Kendall teaching Jamie how to use the switchboard, Sue Ellen promising to return in the afternoon to take Jamie to lunch — seemed so glamorous when I watched this episode as a kid. How I wished I could work alongside J.R. and Bobby at Ewing Oil too!

Truth be told, I still do.

Grade: A

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Walk to remember

‘BARBECUE FIVE’

Season 8, Episode 11

Airdate: December 7, 1984

Audience: 21 million homes, ranking 3rd in the weekly ratings

Writer: Arthur Bernard Lewis

Director: Gwen Arner

Synopsis: J.R. woos Mandy. Naldo charms Charlie. Pam visits a psychic, hoping for clues about Mark’s death. Miss Ellie is upset when Clayton decides to continue commuting to Houston. Jamie begins working as a receptionist at Ewing Oil, and after J.R. angers her at the Ewing Barbecue, she shows the family a document that claims her father owned a piece of the company.

Cast: Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Ronnie Claire Edwards (Lydia), Eric Farlow (Christopher Ewing), Fern Fitzgerald (Marilee Stone), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Jenilee Harrison (Jamie Ewing), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Barry Jenner (Dr. Jerry Kenderson), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Omri Katz (John Ross Ewing), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Fredric Lehne (Eddie Cronin), Shalane McCall (Charlie Wade), Daniel Pilon (Renaldo Marchetta), Priscilla Beaulieu Presley (Jenna Wade), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Donna Reed (Miss Ellie Farlow), Marina Rice (Angela), Deborah Shelton (Mandy Winger), Danone Simpson (Kendall), William Smithers (Jeremy Wendell), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing), Deborah Tranelli (Phyllis)

“Barbecue Five” is available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Filed Under: Critiques, Critiques (Classic), Opinion Tagged With: Barbecue Five, Fern Fitzgerald, Gwen Arner, Jenilee Harrison, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Ronnie Claire Edwards, Steve Kanaly, Susan Howard, William Smithers

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 164 — ‘If at First You Don’t Succeed’

June 1, 2015 by Chris Baker 8 Comments

Dallas, If at First You Don't Succeed, Katherine Wentworth, Morgan Brittany

Take another shot

The final scene in “If at First You Don’t Succeed” is another example of how music helps tell the stories on “Dallas.” As Bobby sleeps in his hospital bed, Katherine enters the room, fills a syringe with poison and prepares to inject him. This is supposed to be the moment the audience realizes Katherine fired the gunshots that landed Bobby in the hospital in the first place, although I suspect most viewers who saw this episode in 1984 had long since figured that out. The revelation is gripping nonetheless, thanks mostly to composer Richard Lewis Warren, whose music conveys emotion in ways images alone cannot.

Consider how much work Warren’s score does here. The scene requires Morgan Brittany to enter the room, walk to the nightstand, set down her purse, retrieve the syringe, fill it with poison, squirt a little (an especially nice touch) and stare menacingly at Patrick Duffy. All of this takes a little less than a minute, which is longer than it sounds when you consider there’s no dialogue and we don’t see Katherine’s face until the last few seconds. Nevertheless, Warren’s visceral score — the whirring strings, the escalating keys — makes the scene positively Hitchcockian. The music holds our attention, every step of the way. Of course, don’t overlook Brittany, who has never looked more sinister. Also, during the freeze frame, notice how Philip Capice’s credit moves from its usual spot in the center of the screen to the lower third, as if Katherine has willed the show’s executive producer out of her way.

This climactic moment aside, the “Who Shot Bobby?” mystery turns out to be much less interesting than it seemed three decades ago. The storyline’s truest bright spot is the way it reignites Pam’s spark, giving Victoria Principal some of her best material since “Dallas’s” first two seasons. For example, when “If at First You Don’t Succeed” begins, Pam confronts J.R. outside the Ewing Oil building and accuses him of trying to frame Cliff for the shooting. It’s one of J.R. and Pam’s great clashes, especially when she vows to join Cliff’s side in the Barnes/Ewing feud. “I’m not going to rest until all our family scores are settled,” she says, leaving J.R. looking more than a little unnerved. Later, when Sue Ellen visits Pam at home and tries to defend her husband, Pam is aghast — and she doesn’t hesitate to show it. Sue Ellen becomes equally indignant and suggests it might be time for the Barneses and the Ewings to go their separate ways, prompting Pam to snap, “Then why don’t you start, Sue Ellen, by leaving here right now?”

Too bad Donna’s storyline doesn’t hold up as well. I like how the writers have Bobby name Donna his proxy at Ewing Oil, if only because it’s good to see a “Dallas” woman in a position of authority for a change. Unfortunately, Donna comes off as a bit of a nag when dealing with J.R. at the office. She does give him this episode’s most memorable line, though, when she wonders how Cliff’s arrest is affecting Pam. J.R.’s memorable response — “I don’t give a damn about Pam” — is one of those times you know exactly what he’s going to say before it rolls off his tongue. A nicer moment comes when Clayton visits the Krebbs’ home to say goodbye to Ray and Donna before leaving to join Miss Ellie on their honeymoon in Greece. Before Clayton climbs into his Rolls Royce to head to the airport, Donna tells him she loves him, and he says it back to her. I don’t know if this exchange was scripted or if Susan Howard and Howard Keel ad-libbed it, but I’m glad it’s here.

“If at First You Don’t Succeed” is also notable because it brings Deborah Shelton to “Dallas” as Mandy Winger, who arrives as Cliff’s love interest but ends up becoming J.R.’s longest-running mistress. This episode also marks the first appearance of Cliff’s painting of himself, an ideal accessory for Ken Kercheval’s self-centered character, along with the icky scene where J.R. seduces sweaty Sue Ellen in the Southfork exercise room. (Couldn’t these two find another spot in that big house to get it on?) Also, notice that when Katherine hears the radio bulletin that Cliff has been cleared in Bobby’s shooting, the newscaster (“John Shaw”) is the same one who announces Bobby’s shooting in this season’s first episode and his death during the season finale. Additionally, there are quite a few nods to “Dallas’s” past, including the scene where Sue Ellen tells Jenna about Dusty’s paralysis, a storyline from the fourth and fifth seasons, and Lucy’s visit to the Hot Biscuit, the roadside diner where Valene worked during the second season.

Scenes like these do more than reward the memories of longtime viewers. They also make “Dallas” seem like something more than a television show, as if the series has become its own little world. Aren’t you glad we get to inhabit it too?

Grade: B

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Get another room

‘IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED’

Season 8, Episode 3

Airdate: October 12, 1984

Audience: 24 million homes, ranking 7th in the weekly ratings

Writer: David Paulsen

Director: Leonard Katzman

Synopsis: Cliff is cleared in Bobby’s shooting when mystery woman Mandy Winger comes forward and reveals he spent the night with her. Bobby considers having risky surgery to restore his eyesight, upsetting Jenna. J.R. seduces Sue Ellen, who defends his actions to Clayton, Donna and Pam. Lucy is offered a waitressing job at a diner where Valene once worked. While Bobby sleeps, Katherine sneaks into his room and prepares to inject him with poison.

Cast: Norman Bennett (Al), Morgan Brittany (Katherine Wentworth), James L. Brown (Detective Harry McSween), Roseanna Christiansen (Teresa), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Jenny Gago (Nurse), Gerald Gordon (Dr. Carter), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Omri Katz (John Ross Ewing), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Shalane McCall (Charlie Wade), Bill Morey (Leo Wakefield), Joanna Miles (Martha Randolph), George O. Petrie (Harv Smithfield), Priscilla Beaulieu Presley (Jenna Wade), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Donna Reed (Miss Ellie Farlow), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Sherril Lynn Rettino (Jackie Dugan), Marina Rice (Angela), Mitchell Ryan (Captain Merwin Fogerty), Deborah Shelton (Mandy Winger), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing)

“If at First You Don’t Succeed” is available on DVD and at Amazon and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Filed Under: Critiques, Critiques (Classic), Opinion Tagged With: Deborah Shelton, Howard Keel, If at First You Don’t Succeed, Morgan Brittany, Patrick Duffy, Philip Capice, Richard Lewis Warren, Susan Howard, Victoria Principal, Who Shot J.R.?

The Dal-List: 18 Reasons to Love ‘Dallas’s’ Eighth Season

May 20, 2015 by Chris Baker 25 Comments

Middlin’ along

Dallas Decoder will soon begin critiquing the original show’s eighth season, which aired from 1984 to 1985. Here are 18 reasons to love it.

Side eye

18. Whenever Pam throws shade. She does it a lot this season.

Metaphor much?

17. When Bobby stops wearing shades. Those things are as big as Southfork!

In good hands with him

16. Dr. President David Palmer. Babe’s farmer shows up too.

Bitches be crazy

15. This nut finally gets caught. Even better: She gets away.

Genus: Hipsterous precursorous

14. Eddie’s wall of hats. Keep on trucking, dude.

Me, me, me

13. Mandy’s wall of Mandy. Keep it classy, honey.

Be nice, J.R.

12. Jamie’s makeover. “What’s next? Are we going to cap her teeth?”

Don’t poke out his eye

11. These lapels. All hail Sue Ellen, intergalactic space empress!

Never change, Ray

10. Ray’s workout gear. It’s also the outfit he wears to weddings, funerals, birthdays and bar mitzvahs.

Blonde ambition

9. This. I bet Jordan helped do her hair.

Groin show

8. Sue Ellen’s parting shot. Who kneed J.R.?

Far out

7. Road trip! Best part of this storyline: Philip Chan guest stars as Edward Chan.

Stay. Please.

6. Jenna goes to jail. She also gets out. (Can’t have everything.)

Eat your heart out, Harv

5. Scotty Demarest. “It is a sy-lun-suh.”

Swoon!

4. Cousin Jack. Best mole since Julie Grey’s.

Beats the sanitarium

3. “The Institute for Advanced Awareness.” Because if anyone needs their awareness advanced, it’s her.

Again with the metaphors

2. We don’t like tomato juice either. But we never turn down eggs and toast.

Death is but a dream

1. “Swan Song.” Who cares if the last few scenes are a dream? This is “Dallas’s” finest hour. (Or its finest hour-and-a-half, if you want to get technical about it.)

Why do you love “Dallas’s” eighth season? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

Filed Under: Dal-Lists, Opinion Tagged With: Charlene Tilton, Dack Rambo, Deborah Shelton, Dennis Haysbert, Fern Fitzgerald, Jenilee Harrison, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Morgan Brittany, Patrick Duffy, Priscilla Beaulieu Presley, Stephen Elliott, Steve Kanaly, Susan Howard, Swan Song

The Dal-List: 37 Reasons to Love ‘Dallas’

April 2, 2015 by Chris Baker 45 Comments

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Love to love them

“Dallas” debuted 37 years ago today. Here’s why we still love the Ewings.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal

Drive us crazy

37. “Digger’s Daughter.” Bobby marries Pam, Lucy and Ray take a roll in the hay and Jock calls J.R. a jackass. Could this show have gotten off to a better start?

Big house on the prairie

36. Southfork. To a lot of us, the white house on Braddock Road is more revered than the one on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing

Is blood thicker than liquor?

35. Bourbon and branch. Forget oil. This is what really fueled the Ewing empire.

Can’t touch this

34. Every time Jock asks for “a touch” of bourbon. Spoiler: It was always more than a touch.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

Stop or mom will shoot

33. “Ray, get me the shotgun out of the hall closet.” The quintessential Miss Ellie moment.

Long walk

32. Pam’s middle screen during the opening credits. It never changed! For almost a decade, she never stopped crossing the Southfork lawn.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman

Fishy

31. J.R.’s first visit to “Knots Landing.” J.R.: Hey, that is good. What do you call this? Valene: Tuna fish.

Smirky

30. Kristin Shepard. So much more than the answer to a trivia question.

About face

29. Sue Ellen’s 180s. No one does the slow, dramatic turn better.

Clean scream

28. The cleaning lady who found J.R. Her reaction alone made it worth waiting eight months to find out who shot him.

Moment of truth

27. “It was you, Kristin, who shot J.R.” The most famous line in “Dallas” history.

Daddy’s decree

26. “Real power is something you take.” Or maybe this is the show’s most famous line. Six words that encapsulate the Ewing creed.

He sizzles

25. Breakfast on the patio. Would you like some insults with your bacon?

Them pipes!

24. The musical stylings of Miss Afton Cooper. She can steal us away anytime she wants.

Bleeds it leads

23. Headlines like these. The editors of The Dallas Press: The only people more obsessed with the Ewings than we are.

Snake in the grass

22. “Hey, Ray. … You getting good mileage on Donna’s car?” So nice of him to be concerned, isn’t it?

Dallas, Donna Culver Krebbs, Susan Howard

Wind ’em up

21. Donna vs. Bonnie. “Dallas’s” best barroom brawl.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing

Will power

20. Daddy’s will. Pitting your hyper-competitive sons against each other in a yearlong battle for control of the family empire? Sounds like a plan!

Watch out, wallpaper

19. “I’m going to drink myself into oblivion.” And she damn near did.

Paging KITT

18. The synthesized seventh-season theme music. We half expect Knight Rider to come roaring into the credits.

Bobby Ewing, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Eric Farlow, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Oh, that lighting!

17. Bradford May’s cinematography. The Ewings never looked as gorgeous as they did from 1983 to 1984.

J.R. Ewing here

16. The phone at the Oil Baron’s Club. Be careful with that thing or you’ll poke out Dora Mae’s eye!

Charlene Tilton, Christopher Atkins, Dallas, Lucy Ewing, Peter Richards

Yes, sparklers

15. Lucy’s modeling career. There’s nothing about this picture I don’t love.

Dallas, Katherine Wentworth, Morgan Brittany

Hat attack

14. Katherine Wentworth. How can you blame a gal for going a little nuts over Bobby Ewing? Also: the hats!

Turban renewal

13. When Sue Ellen changed into this outfit to go to the movies. What, you mean you didn’t wear something similar when you saw “Porky’s II” in 1984?

The best loser

12. Cliff Barnes. As essential to the “Dallas” mythology as any Ewing. Ken Kercheval is brilliant.

Drip drop

11. “Marilee, you all right, honey? Did it go up your nose?” Best pool dunking ever.

Buzz kill

10. When Bobby flat lines, jolting Pam. Gets us every time.

Who says cowboys don’t cry?

9. … And then when Ray loses it. Few things move me more than this moment.

What a dream

8. The dream season. Look, we love Bobby as much as anyone, but this is one of “Dallas’s” best years — especially where the leading ladies are concerned.

Mr. Clean

7. Bobby’s return. Was the dream explanation a cop-out? Sure, but who’s going to complain about seeing Patrick Duffy in the shower?

The long goodbye

6. Pam. Give the lady her due: Fans spent twice as long clamoring for her return as she spent on the show.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Omri Katz

Word

5. “John Ross, this is Ewing Oil.” Chills.

A star is born

4. Brad Pitt’s hair. Also: “Randy”!

Dallas, J.R.'s Masterpiece, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Woman of the hour

3. “J.R.’s Masterpiece.” Linda Gray’s tour de force. If you can watch this episode without bawling like a baby, you’re stronger than me.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Another star is born

2. “I am not my father!” Chills again!

Forever our hero

1. Larry Hagman. How we loved this man. What an actor! What a guy! We’ll never stop missing him, and we’ll always be grateful he shared his gift with the world.

Why do you love “Dallas”? Share your comments below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

Filed Under: Dal-Lists, Opinion Tagged With: Audrey Landers, Barbara Bel Geddes, Brad Pitt, Bradford May, Christopher Atkins, Digger’s Daughter, Fern Fitzgerald, J.R.’s Masterpiece, Jim Davis, Josh Henderson, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Mary Crosby, Morgan Brittany, Patrick Duffy, Steve Kanaly, Susan Howard, Victoria Principal, Who Shot J.R.?

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 160 — ‘Hush, Hush, Sweet Jessie’

January 28, 2015 by Chris Baker 30 Comments

Alexis Smith, Dallas, Hush Hush Sweet Jessie, Lady Jessica Farlow Montford

How sweet she is

What do I love about the final scene in “Hush, Hush, Sweet Jessie”? Oh, pretty much everything. The Ewings stand in the Southfork driveway, panicked because no one knows the whereabouts of Miss Ellie and Jessica, whose murderous past has finally come to light. Suddenly, Donna arrives in Ray’s pickup truck. She gets out, bloodied and shaken, and explains that she’s just come from the Krebbs’ home, where Jessica knocked her out, swiped one of Ray’s handguns, took Ellie and drove who-knows-where in Donna’s car. J.R. looks stricken. “We’ve got to find them,” he says. “Jessica has killed once. Who knows what she’ll do with Mama?” Duh-duh-duh!

Is this a moment of pure camp? Yes, of course. How could any scene that requires the audience to imagine Alexis Smith abducting Barbara Bel Geddes at gunpoint not be campy? And what about the way Donna announces her news? Shouldn’t she hop out of Ray’s truck and offer the most important facts first: “Hey, everyone, Jessica has kidnapped Miss Ellie!” Instead, Donna tells the story chronologically; this allows the episode to end with the dramatic revelation that Mama has been abducted, but it isn’t very realistic. There’s also this: After Larry Hagman delivers his “We’ve got to find them” line, we get a reaction shot from Howard Keel and Patrick Duffy, who stand side by side and turn their eyes to the camera in near perfect unison. It’s priceless.

And yet despite all this, the scene is undeniably thrilling. The most valuable actors are Hagman, who makes J.R.’s concern easy to believe, and Susan Howard, whose halting, anguished delivery is pitch-perfect. She gets a big assist from the brilliant composer Richard Lewis Warren, whose underscore lends urgency to the entire sequence. I especially love how there’s no music during most of Donna’s monologue until she recalls awakening after Jessica knocked her out. Warren slowly brings in the orchestra when Donna says, “And then when I came to … they were both gone.” By the time she gets to this line — “Ray, she took one of your guns!” — the music has swelled. Can any “Dallas” fan watch this part without getting goose bumps?

The rest of “Hush, Hush, Sweet Jessie” is almost as good. Smith is as over-the-top as ever when Jessica finally unravels in Ray and Donna’s kitchen, but Bel Geddes, with her believably bewildered expression, manages to keep the scene grounded. Meanwhile, Katherine proves she can wheel and deal with the best of them when she agrees to buy Cliff’s share of Wentworth Tool & Die at a bargain-basement price, and it’s great fun to see Morgan Brittany deliver lines like “Oil, oil, everywhere, and not a drop for Cliff.” Also, how can you not love the long-awaited moment when Pam confronts Katherine after learning she forged the letter that broke up her marriage to Bobby? The slap Pam delivers must be one of the most cathartic moments in “Dallas” history, and isn’t it nice to see Victoria Principal demonstrate some of the spark that once made her character so compelling?

“Hush, Hush, Sweet Jessie” raises a few other questions that probably wouldn’t occur to anyone but “Dallas” devotees. Here’s one: At the beginning of the episode, Lucy speaks on the phone to Jackie, Cliff’s secretary. Is this the first, and perhaps only, time these two women interact? Here’s another: After J.R. confronts Clayton and Ray with Jessica’s diary in a Braddock parking lot, the three men hop into J.R.’s Mercedes and hightail it back to the ranch. Is this the first time we’ve seen J.R. and Ray share a ride since they palled around in the first-season episode “Winds of Vengeance”?

There’s also this: When the producers named this episode, they were surely offering a loving nod to the 1964 thriller “Hush … Hush, Sweet Charlotte,” which starred Bette Davis as a wealthy spinster driven mad by her scheming cousin, played by Olivia de Havilland. (Future “Dallas” star George Kennedy has a small role too.) The film, which received seven Oscar nominations, is now regarded by some as a camp classic. Did the “Dallas” producers know this episode would achieve a similar distinction?

Grade: A

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Through the looking glass

‘HUSH, HUSH, SWEET JESSIE’

Season 7, Episode 29

Airdate: May 11, 1984

Audience: 20.4 million homes, ranking 4th in the weekly ratings

Writer: David Paulsen

Director: Gwen Arner

Synopsis: Pam learns Mark knew he was dying and killed himself. Cliff reluctantly sells his share of Wentworth Tool & Die to Katherine, whom Pam slaps after she discovers Katherine’s role in ending her marriage to Bobby. Clayton tells Ray and Donna that Dusty is actually Jessica’s son. After J.R. uncovers evidence Jessica killed Clayton’s first wife, she kidnaps Miss Ellie.

Cast: Mary Armstrong (Louise), Christopher Atkins (Peter Richards), Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Morgan Brittany (Katherine Wentworth), James L. Brown (Detective Harry McSween), Roseanna Christiansen (Teresa), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Eric Farlow (Christopher Ewing), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Susan Howard (Donna Krebbs), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Howard Keel (Clayton Farlow), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Audrey Landers (Afton Cooper), Bill Morey (Leo Wakefield), Charles Parks (Fred Robbins), Edmund Penney (doctor), Priscilla Beaulieu Presley (Jenna Wade), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Debbie Rennard (Sly), Sherril Lynn Rettino (Jackie Dugan), Alexis Smith (Lady Jessica Montfort), Don Starr (Jordan Lee), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing), D.J. Zacker (Louis)

“Hush, Hush, Sweet Jessie” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Filed Under: Critiques, Critiques (Classic), Opinion Tagged With: Alexis Smith, Barbara Bel Geddes, George Kennedy, Howard Keel, Hush Hush Sweet Jessie, Larry Hagman, Morgan Brittany, Patrick Duffy, Richard Lewis Warren, Susan Howard, Winds of Vengeance

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘You’re the Dangerous One’

December 24, 2014 by Chris Baker 1 Comment

Alexis Smith, Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Lady Jessica Montford, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Sue Ellen Ewing, Unexpected

Takes one to know one

In “The Unexpected,” a seventh-season “Dallas” episode, Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes), J.R. (Larry Hagman), Sue Ellen (Linda Gray), Bobby (Patrick Duffy), Ray (Steve Kanaly), Donna (Susan Howard) and Lucy (Charlene Tilton) are in the Southfork living room, awaiting Clayton and Jessica’s arrival.

J.R.: Mama, would you relax? You look like you’re going to pounce on Lady Montford when she walks through the door.

Clayton and Jessica (Howard Keel, Alexis Smith) enter.

CLAYTON: Well, if that’s what she’s going to do, now’s the time to do it.

JESSICA: Better be careful. As Clayton can tell you, folks used to say I wrastle mountain lions down in San Angelo. And there’s one thing I want to get straight from the beginning. Please don’t “Lady Montford” me to death. I answer to “Jessie.”

CLAYTON: She’s also shy, I might add.

ELLIE: Welcome to Southfork, Jessie. [Approaches, takes Jessica’s hands.]

JESSICA: Thank you, Miss Ellie. I was so anxious to see what you looked like, I asked Clayton to show me a snapshot. The man didn’t have any.

ELLIE: Well, we’ll have to fix that.

JESSICA: You sure waited a long time before you asked someone to marry you, Clayton. [Patting Ellie’s hands] But I think she was worth waiting for.

ELLIE: Thank you, Jessie.

JESSICA: [Slipping her hands out of Ellie’s] You know, I thought he was going to stay single for the rest of his life. Either that, or marry someone half his age. [J.R. chuckles]

ELLIE: Jessie, I’d you to meet my family. This is my granddaughter Lucy.

LUCY: Hi.

ELLIE: And my daughters-in-law Donna and Sue Ellen. [They smile and nod] And my three sons, J.R. and Bobby and Ray.

JESSICA: Well, I’m certainly happy to meet you. [Chuckles] Now I know I’ve been away from Texas too long. I’d forgotten how handsome they grew the men in this state.

BOBBY: Well, we thank you.

JESSICA: Now, all I want to know is, which ones are married and which ones play around, or both. [Chuckles] Oh, I’m only kidding, Sue Ellen and Donna. But I can’t remember which one belongs to which since there are three sons and only two daughters-in-law.

DONNA: Well, you’d have to fight me for the silver-haired one here.

JESSICA: No, I think I’d rather tackle another mountain lion. Sue Ellen?

SUE ELLEN: I’m married to J.R.

JESSICA: I see. Well, that leaves Bobby as the single one.

J.R.: Well, that’s only temporary. The ladies are lining up for him.

JESSICA: I’m not surprised. But on the way back from the airport, Clayton spent almost as much time talking about you, J.R., as he did about Miss Ellie. I have a feeling you’re the dangerous one.

J.R.: Well, yes, I have that reputation. But I’m kind to my family and close friends.

JESSICA: [Smiling] Then I think want to be your friend. [To Ellie] I especially want to be your friend.

ELLIE: [Smiling] I’d like that.

JESSICA: Sometimes I come on a little strong. If I do, slap me down. You know, Clayton, there was a nice young man out there struggling with my excess baggage. Did he make it?

CLAYTON: He’s here now. [Takes two shopping bags from Raoul, hands them to Jessica]

JESSICA: Well, there’s China and linen for the ladies — very British — and wool sweaters for the men. I hope I guessed the sizes right. Bobby, would you fix me a little bourbon and branch? Now where’s that special box?

CLAYTON: [Holds up a long wooden case] This one?

JESSICA: [Opens it, removes a sword] I think it’s appropriate to give this to the eldest male member of the Ewing family. It belonged to Henry’s great-grandfather. It hung over the mantel in our home. [Presents it to J.R.]

J.R.: [Hands his drink to Sue Ellen] Darlin’, would you please? Well, this is beautiful. [Takes the sword] Are you sure you want to give us a family heirloom?

JESSICA: Yes, I am. I want your family to know how important this marriage is to me.

ELLIE: Thank you, Jessica.

BOBBY: [Hands her a drink] Jessica?

JESSICA: Oh, thank you. [Raises her glass] To the Ewings … and to the Farlows.

Filed Under: Dallas Scenes of the Day, Dallas Scenes of the Day (Classic), Features Tagged With: Alexis Smith, Barbara Bel Geddes, Charlene Tilton, Howard Keel, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Patrick Duffy, Steve Kanaly, Susan Howard, Unexpected

The Dal-List: Classic ‘Dallas’s’ 13 Most Harrowing Kidnappings

September 15, 2014 by Chris Baker 6 Comments

Ann Ewing, Boxed In, Brenda Strong, Dallas, Emma Bell, Emma Ryland, TNT

Your turn, Annie

The Ewings discover Ann and Emma (Brenda Strong, Emma Bell) have been kidnapped in “Boxed In,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode. Fortunately, our favorite TV family has plenty of experience dealing with this kind of thing. Here’s a look at the 13 most harrowing kidnappings from the original series.

Charlene Tilton, Dallas, Greg Evigan, Lucy Ewing, Willie Gust

Far out!

13. Lucy (1978). When the Ewings refused to let Valene come to Lucy’s birthday party, Lucy ran away from Southfork and hitched a ride with Willie Gust (Greg Evigan) — and who can blame her? Willie had the tightest jeans, the most feathery hair and the grooviest custom van in Texas, right down to the wall-to-wall fake-fur carpeting. Too bad Willie was also a lunatic who ended up taking Lucy (Charlene Tilton) on a cross-Texas crime spree. Bobby rescued her, of course, but we never found out what happened to Willie. Was he really as psychotic as he seemed? Or were those jeans merely cutting off the circulation to his brain?

J.R. Duncan

12. John Ross (1979). Hey, remember when Sue Ellen nipped a little too much from her “special bottle” of Scope, escaped from the sanitarium, wrecked her car and gave birth to John Ross? And remember how Priscilla Duncan (Sheila Larken) quietly snatched the baby from the hospital? And then remember how happy we all were when Pam figured out what happened and reunited J.R. and Sue Ellen with their son? Well, hindsight being what it is, am I the only one who now thinks John Ross might have been better off with Ms. Duncan? Sure, she was nuts, but think of all the daddy issues the kid would’ve avoided.

Who shut up J.R.?

11. J.R. Ex-mobster Joseph Lombardi wanted answers when his son Nick Pearce plunged to his death after tussling with J.R. (Larry Hagman) on a high-rise balcony, so Lombardi sent his goons after our hero. They bound and gagged J.R. and brought him to a cheap motel, where Lombardi grilled him about the night Nick died. J.R. insisted it was all an accident — and fortunately Sue Ellen confirmed his account, prompting Lombardi to release him. It was cool to see Hagman act opposite the great Joseph Campanella, and we have to give Lombardi props for stand up to ol’ J.R. But would I want to see him kidnapped again? Fahgettaboudit.

Cuff him if you can

10. Bobby. “Dallas” has given us a lot of credibility-stretching storylines over the years (cough, cough Haleyville), but you know what I’ll never believe? I’ll never believe that Bobby James Ewing (Patrick Duffy) — that strapping, hunk of Grade A Texas beefcake — could be outmuscled by the clowns who kidnapped him during the middle of the show’s second season. For goodness sakes, Bobby is the kind of guy who can take on a barroom full of drunk cowboys and walk away without a scratch. The only thing more ridiculous than seeing him abducted is seeing the Ewings turn to Cliff Barnes to rescue him!

Darlin’ detained

9. Sue Ellen. Oh, for the love of Pete. Sue Ellen, what have you gone and done now? Did you really allow that creep B.D. Calhoun to slip you a mickey so he could photograph himself with you and send the pictures to J.R.? Didn’t you learn not to trust strange men during Pam’s dream the previous season? Actually, even though Sue Ellen should have known better, this subplot marked the beginning of a turning point in her marriage: Once J.R. vanquished Calhoun, he felt so bad about what happened to his family, he finally kicked that Winger tramp to the curb. Hmmm. On second thought, maybe Sue Ellen knew what she was doing all along.

Welcome to the jungle

8. Pam. When an old back injury flared up during “Dallas’s” ninth season, Victoria Principal took a break from the show, leaving the writers scrambling to explain her absence. Their solution? Have Pam kidnapped by jungle mercenaries, of course! The subplot proves surprisingly effective, especially when we see Cliff’s determination to rescue his sister. (Their reunion after the bad guys release her is one of many great scenes between Principal and Ken Kercheval.) Looking back, I can’t help but wonder: Why couldn’t “Dallas” come up with a good storyline to explain Principal’s absence when she left the show for good two years later?

Dallas, Daniel Pilon, Jenna Wade, Priscilla Beaulieu Presley

Take her. Please.

7. Jenna. When Jenna (Priscilla Beaulieu Presley) fled Dallas on the day she was supposed to marry Bobby, she left behind a note that explained she had fallen in love with someone else and was running away. Except that wasn’t true: Jenna’s ex Renaldo Marchetta (Daniel Pilon) had kidnapped her and forced her to pen the letter to throw the Ewings off their trail. When this storyline aired during the winter and spring of 1985, I spent weeks on the edge of my seat, anxious to see how it would turn out. Little did I know things would end on such a tragic note, when Dreadful Jenna™ returned to Southfork. Oh, the humanity!

B.D. Calhoun, Dallas, Hunter von Leer, John Ross Ewing, Omri Katz

Captive audience

6. John Ross (1986). Here we go again. After B.D. Calhoun (Hunter von Leer) kidnapped and released Sue Ellen, he set his sights on John Ross (Omri Katz), J.R. and Sue Ellen’s son. Calhoun snatched the kid from a hotel pool in Los Angeles, where J.R. and Bobby sent their wives and boys to protect them from the threat Calhoun posed. The crazed mercenary forced little John Ross to make a hostage tape, which turned Sue Ellen into a blubbering mess when she watched it. Fear not, honey: The Ewing brothers eventually rescued John Ross, who would grow up to star alongside Emma Ryland in a much different kind of video.

Gagged, reeling

5. Lucy (1982). Well, what do you know? Lucy’s been kidnapped yet again. This time, the culprit is Roger Larson, the photographer who helped turn her into Texas’s tiniest top model. Unlike most of the other kidnappings on this list, Roger didn’t abduct Lucy for ransom or revenge — he was obsessed with her. He kept the Ewing heiress locked in a room plastered with the pictures he took of her. (Do stalkers do this in real life, or only on TV?) Bobby and Pam eventually rescued Lucy, but not before Pam told off Roger in one of Principal’s best scenes. Gee, like Sue Ellen, maybe Lucy should’ve gotten kidnapped more often too.

Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, Valene Ewing

Feet first

4. Lucy (Early 1960s). Lucy’s first kidnapping is an integral part of “Dallas” lore. It’s mentioned in the first episode, when Lucy recalls how J.R.’s “old boys” snatched her from Valene’s arms when she was a baby and brought her to Southfork to be raised by Jock and Miss Ellie. We finally saw the kidnapping in a “Knots Landing” flashback, where we learned the ugly mess probably could’ve been prevented: No, I’m not referring to the fact that Lillimae refused to let Val (Joan Van Ark) into her shack when J.R.’s henchmen were chasing her. I’m talking about the fact Val was barefoot when she was trying to outrun them. Good grief, Val. Buy some shoes.

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, Tyler Banks

Carry on

3. John Ross (1981). When Sue Ellen and John Ross went to live at the Southern Cross, J.R. was determined to get his boy back. He saw an opportunity when Sue Ellen took the child with her to Kristin’s funeral in New Mexico. Mother and son were gliding through a Love Field terminal when two of J.R.’s thugs approached. While one man distracted Sue Ellen, the other snatched the child. Suddenly, Dusty Farlow and a trio of Southern Cross cowboys swarmed the dude holding John Ross. “Give us the boy,” Dusty demanded — and of course the guy did. This might have been “Dallas’s” briefest abduction, but wasn’t it exciting!

Trunk show

2. Miss Ellie. Look everybody, Donna’s here! What’s wrong, Donna? You seem upset. What’s that, you say? Jessica called Dusty and told him Clayton’s wedding to Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) is off? And then Jessica knocked you out with the phone? And then she stole your car? And then she took Mama?! Geez, Donna, couldn’t you have given us that last bit of information first? No matter. Between Susan Howard’s pained delivery and Richard Lewis Warren’s tension-building score, the scene where the Ewings discover Mama has been abducted by loony tune Jessica is positively thrilling — even if Donna did bury the lede.

Grand theft auto

1. April. Every abduction on this list ends happily for the victim — except this one. The original “Dallas” kicked off its final season with the kidnapping of April (Sheree J. Wilson) during her Parisian honeymoon with Bobby. The storyline was a little complicated — the culprit was Hillary Taylor (Susan Lucci), a mystery woman who took April so she could assume her identity and make a big speech at an OPEC conference — and yet it was also a dramatic thrill ride. Fans expected Bobby to get his bride back by the time all was said and done — and so imagine our surprise when she was gunned down at the conference. It was a hell of a way to start the original show’s last season, telegraphing to the audience that this would be the year anything could happen on “Dallas” — and damn near did.

Which kidnapping did you find most harrowing on “Dallas”? Share your thoughts below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

Filed Under: Dal-Lists, Opinion Tagged With: Barbara Bel Beddes, Boxed In, Brenda Strong, Charlene Tilton, Daniel Pilon, Emma Bell, Greg Evigan, Hunter von Leer, Joan Van Ark, Joseph Campanella, Ken Kercheval, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Omri Katz, Patrick Duffy, Priscilla Bealieu Presley, Richard Lewis Warren, Sheila Larken, Sheree J. Wilson, Susan Howard, TNT, Tyler Banks, Victoria Principal

#DallasChat Daily: Who Stayed Too Long or Left Too Soon?

July 31, 2014 by Chris Baker 27 Comments

Let’s face it: “Dallas” didn’t always know when to say goodbye. Some characters hung around long after their storyline possibilities were exhausted, while other favorites still had lots of untapped potential when they were written out.

Consider the group pictured here: Lucy, Ray, Donna, Jenna, Kristin, Jeremy, Mickey, Holly and April. (I’ll let you decide which character belongs in which category.) This is just a sampling; you’re welcome to name other characters too.

Your #DallasChat Daily questions: Which “Dallas” characters stayed too long? Which characters left too soon?

Share your comments below and join other #DallasChat Daily discussions.