Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘You Have a Trashy Mouth’

Here they go again

Here they go again

In “Dallas’s” fourth-season episode “Start the Revolution with Me,” J.R. (Larry Hagman) comes home late to find Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) seated at their bedroom vanity.

J.R.: Well, you’re up late. Been out? [Places his cowboy hat atop the armoire]

SUE ELLEN: Why, yes, J.R., I have been.

J.R.: Anybody I know? [Removes his jacket, throws it on the bed]

SUE ELLEN: [Primping] You don’t really care.

J.R.: No, I don’t really care. [Sits in a chair behind her]

SUE ELLEN: J.R., you’ve been keeping yourself real busy lately. I heard you hired yourself a public relations woman.

J.R.: That’s right. Leslie Stewart.

SUE ELLEN: [Examining jewelry] You know, darling, I find it very interesting that you hired a woman to tell you how to run your business. It’s always been a Ewing creed that women were seen, not heard.

J.R.: Well, this woman is different. She’s intelligent, talented and creative – and she knows when to keep her mouth shut. [Loosens his necktie]

SUE ELLEN: Have you had her yet?

J.R.: [Sighs] Is that all you ever think about?

SUE ELLEN: No, darling. That’s all you ever think about.

J.R.: Leslie Stewart is a highly qualified professional. She’s doing a brilliant job.

SUE ELLEN: [Smiles] That means you haven’t had her.

J.R.: You have a trashy mouth. Do you know that?

SUE ELLEN: J.R., I know you better than anybody else. And if you haven’t had sex with Miss Leslie Stewart, that means the lady doesn’t want you, not that you haven’t tried. You might be losing your touch.

J.R.: You don’t know a damn thing about it. [Rises, grabs his jacket off the bed, heads for the door]

SUE ELLEN: J.R.? [He stops and turns to face her.] I know all about it.

He leaves, slamming the door behind him.

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 68 – ‘Start the Revolution with Me’

No truth in advertising

No truth in advertising

“Start the Revolution with Me” feels a bit like a 1980s version of “Mad Men.” Not only does this fourth-season “Dallas” episode feature lots of talk about advertising, it also shows the Ewings wrestling with changing gender roles, just like the “Mad Men” characters do.

In the episode’s first act, Leslie Stewart, J.R.’s new public relations guru, pitches him some proposed advertising slogans (sample: “Ewing Oil: People Before Profits”), which he scoffs at. “Do you think anybody’s gonna buy that?” J.R. asks with a chuckle. Leslie reminds him the ads will be published in newspapers in New York and London, not his hometown. “J.R., you’re not going to need Dallas. Ewing Oil is going to be an international power,” she coos.

I fell for Leslie during her debut in the previous episode, “Making of a President,” and she continues to fascinate me here. Like all the women on “Dallas,” Leslie is beautiful and feminine, but as “Start the Revolution with Me” demonstrates, she also has all the ambition and confidence of the Ewing men.

With Leslie, it’s important to not just pay attention to what she says, but also how actress Susan Flannery moves. In one of my favorite moments in this episode, Leslie sits at her desk with her arms outstretched behind her head. This confident pose brings to mind a real-life ’80s ad slogan (“Never let them see you sweat”), although Leslie probably doesn’t perspire to begin with.

J.R. doesn’t quite know what to make of Leslie – he flirts with her shamelessly, while she ignores him without apology – and the other women in his life seem a bit bewildered by her too. When J.R. sleeps with his secretary Louella and is unable to perform, she seems to blame Leslie, telling him, “J.R., you shouldn’t let Miss Stewart get to you like this.”

Sue Ellen also puts J.R. on the defensive. “You know, darling,” she quips, “I find it very interesting that you hired a woman to tell you how to run your business. It’s always been a Ewing creed that women were seen, not heard.” His response (“Leslie Stewart is a highly qualified professional. She’s doing a brilliant job.”) demonstrates the sheepishness he feels about handing control of his image over to a woman.

With so much emphasis on female empowerment, you have to wonder if the “revolution” cited in this episode’s title refers to J.R.’s cockamamie scheme to overthrow a foreign government or to the sexual revolution, which began in the 1960s and was still lingering when this segment aired in 1981. Indeed, Leslie’s arrival seems to herald a deliberate attempt by the “Dallas” producers to show how women were making progress as the show – and its audience – moved into the new decade.

In another telling scene in “Start the Revolution with Me,” after Dave Culver announces he’s going to accept the governor’s appointment to the U.S. Senate, Dave and his advisers agree Donna should replace him in the state legislature. Talk about revolutionary: This might not seem like a big deal today, but in 1981, just 12 percent of state lawmakers were women. (That number has since doubled.) Donna ultimately demurs, but it’s nice the producers showed her being considered.

Of course, not all the “Dallas” women are role models. This episode also shows Sue Ellen moving closer to an affair with Clint, another example of how the character seems only to find fulfillment in the arms of a man, while Pam continues to contemplate an affair with Alex.

Meanwhile, Lucy tells Mitch she wants to quit school so she can be a full-time wife to him. To Mitch’s credit, he urges Lucy to reconsider. “School’s important,” Mitch says. “You have to have something in your life that makes you feel complete and satisfied.”

Leslie couldn’t have said it better herself.

Grade: A

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cool heads

Cool heads

‘START THE REVOLUTION WITH ME’

Season 4, Episode 14

Airdate: February 6, 1981

Audience: 24.6 million homes, ranking 1st in the weekly ratings

Writer: Rena Down

Director: Larry Hagman

Synopsis: J.R. begins engineering a revolution in the Asian nation where Ewing Oil’s wells were nationalized. Leslie resists J.R.’s advances. On a business trip, Pam almost sleeps with Alex. Sue Ellen suspects someone is following her. Dave accepts an appointment to the U.S. Senate and suggests Donna replace him in Austin, but she declines.

Cast: Barbara Babcock (Liz Craig), Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Len Birman (Claude Brown), Jeff Cooper (Dr. Simon Elby), Jim Davis (Jock Ewing), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Joel Fabiani (Alex Ward), Susan Flannery (Leslie Stewart), Tom Fuccello (Senator Dave Culver), Meg Gallagher (Louella), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Ron Hayes (Hank Johnson), Susan Howard (Donna Culver), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Sherrill Lynn Katzman (Jackie), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Monte Markham (Clint Ogden), Leigh McCloskey (Mitch Cooper), Warren Munson (Paul Winslow), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Cooper), Martin West (Phil McKenna), Morgan Woodward (Punk Anderson)

“Start the Revolution with Me” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Dallas Scene of the Day: ‘J.R., You’re My Kind of Man’

Sitting pretty

Sitting pretty

In “Dallas’s” fourth-season episode “Making of a President,” J.R. and Leslie (Larry Hagman, Susan Flannery) dine in a Japanese restaurant.

LESLIE: I was certainly surprised to hear from you so soon, J.R.

J.R.: Well, things have happened, and I thought maybe we ought to talk a little business.

LESLIE: [Noticing his use of chopsticks] You handle those very well.

J.R.: When I was in the service, I spent a lot of time in Japan. You’re doing pretty good yourself. You ever been to the Far East?

LESLIE: No. The first time I ever used them was in Chinatown, New York City.

J.R.: [Laughs] How about a little sashimi? What do you say? [Places food on her plate]

LESLIE: Thank you.

J.R.: And that yellowtail looks real good. Yeah. [To server] Arigato gozaimasu.

LESLIE: Any octopus?

J.R.: Well, I’ve never really acquired a taste for octopus. You like it, do you?

LESLIE: Oh, I adore octopus. I think it’s unusual and exotic … and dangerous.

J.R.: Well, I like a lady whose tastes run to the bizarre at times. Besides octopus, what else?

LESLIE: You.

J.R.: You find me bizarre, do you?

LESLIE: [Laughs] No. Dangerous. [Sips from a cup]

J.R.: Well, should I take that as a form of flattery or –

LESLIE: Not really. If it’s flattery that you want, then I would suggest that we just finish our meal, say goodbye and I’ll pick up the check.

J.R.: Leslie, what’s your angle?

LESLIE: Honesty. At least with my clients. All I’ve ever heard about since I reached Dallas is J.R. Ewing. The more I heard about you, the more I wanted to meet you.

J.R.: Why?

LESLIE: Because they said that you are the biggest cheat, the bigger liar and the biggest double-dealer this town has ever seen, and I think that must be going some.

J.R.: You’re getting closer to picking up that check.

LESLIE: Really?

J.R.: You better think of something to say fast.

LESLIE: J.R., you’re my kind of man. Besides, if you were on the side of the angels, you wouldn’t need Leslie Stewart.

J.R.: [Smiles] You are some kind of woman, you know that?

LESLIE: You put your image in my hands, J.R., and I’ll build you a halo so big, your shoulders will buckle just trying to carry it around.

J.R.: [Chuckles] You know, I’m beginning to believe you can do what you say you can do.

LESLIE: People will come from all over the country – all over the world – begging to do business with you.

J.R.: Well –

LESLIE: Just leave it to me. Trust me. I’ll guide you. I’ll be at your beck and call, day and night.

J.R.: Why don’t we work on those night calls, right about now. What do you say?

LESLIE: Oh, I think I ought to draw up a tentative contract and bring it to your office tomorrow.

J.R.: Now, I still think we ought to seal the deal, right about – [Using her chopsticks, she puts a piece of sushi in his mouth.] What’s that?

LESLIE: Octopus. I can’t think of a better way to seal a deal with you.

Critique: ‘Dallas’ Episode 67 – ‘Making of a President’

She'll drink your milkshake too

She’ll drink your milkshake too

“Making of a President” introduces one of my favorite “Dallas” characters: public relations whiz Leslie Stewart, played to perfection by Susan Flannery. Leslie only sticks around for a half-season so she might not be remembered by some fans, which is a shame because she’s one of the most intriguing women ever seen on this show.

Leslie is J.R.’s equal in every way. To begin with, both are schemers, as we see in the “Making of a President” scene where she charms Bobby into meeting with her, even though he’s trying to keep a low profile with his new alternative energy division. Later, we learn Leslie wasn’t really after Bobby’s business after all; she was just using him to meet J.R.

Leslie and J.R.’s other similarities are on display in the wonderfully written scene where they dine together in a Japanese restaurant. Here, we learn Leslie is just as worldly as J.R. (he learned to eat with chopsticks during the service, she did in New York), just as outspoken (she suggests he’s a “liar,” a “cheat” and a “double-dealer”) and also just as ambitious (she promises to build him “a halo so big, your shoulders will buckle just trying to carry it around”). Best of all, I love how Leslie refers to herself in the third person (“if you were on the side of the angels, you wouldn’t need Leslie Stewart”), just as J.R. is prone to do.

Like J.R., Leslie is also unapologetically sexual. At the end of “Making of a President,” she sleeps with her friend Justin Carlisle, then kicks him out of bed so she can focus on her business dealings. “I need room to maneuver,” she says.

From this perspective, Leslie resembles two other 1980s icons who were often described as “female versions” of J.R.: Alexis Carrington of “Dynasty” and Abby Cunningham of “Knots Landing.” The comparisons are apt, but remember: Leslie came along almost a year before Alexis arrived and a long time before Abby made her mark. Miss Stewart is the real trailblazer.

Not surprisingly, the Ewing men aren’t quite sure what to make of Leslie. During their Japanese dinner, J.R. hints he wants to sleep with her, while Bobby can’t resist commenting on Leslie’s physical appearance when he meets with her in his office. “You’re very knowledgeable and extremely attractive,” Bobby says. In both instances, Leslie smiles politely and changes the subject. Thirty years ago, what else could a woman do?

It might be tempting to feel sorry for Leslie, but the character is far too cool to want anyone’s sympathy, which is why casting Flannery in the role was genius. The actress joined “Dallas” after a lengthy run as heroine Laura Horton on “Days of Our Lives” and watching her in “Making of a President,” I get the feeling she’s thrilled to be playing against type. In many ways, Leslie was Flannery’s warm-up for Stephanie Forrester, the controlling matriarch she’s played on “The Bold and the Beautiful” since its 1987 debut.

As groundbreaking as Leslie is, she isn’t “Making of a President’s” only device to expose the rampant sexism in the Ewing family. This episode also includes a scene where Jock dismisses the threat to his development project posed by the Daughters of the Alamo. “By the time those ladies finish sipping their tea and making sure their hats are on straight, we’ll have a permit,” he says.

We’re also treated to an amusing moment where Miss Ellie, still distressed over Jock’s relationship with Ray, comes home a little tipsy after having drinks with Donna.

“Miss Ellie, where in the hell have you been?” an agitated Jock asks. “Teresa’s been holding dinner for 45 minutes.”

“Well, then,” Ellie responds matter-of-factly. “I guess we better eat it.”

It’s the perfect response – delivered with aplomb by Barbara Bel Geddes – and a nice reminder that Leslie isn’t the only woman who knows how to handle the Ewing men.

Grade: A

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mama's home

Mama’s home

‘MAKING OF A PRESIDENT’

Season 4, Episode 13

Airdate: January 30, 1981

Audience: 27.1 million homes, ranking 1st in the weekly ratings

Writer: Arthur Bernard Lewis

Director: Gunnar Hellström

Synopsis: J.R. returns to power at Ewing Oil but finds his friends don’t want to do business with him, so he hires public relations executive Leslie Stewart to rehabilitate his image. Bobby starts an alternative-energy division. Clint tells Sue Ellen he still loves her.

Cast: Robert Ackerman (Wade Luce), Tyler Banks (John Ross Ewing III), Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie Ewing), Ivan Bonar (Milton), Jeff Cooper (Dr. Simon Elby), Jim Davis (Jock Ewing), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Joel Fabiani (Alex Ward), Susan Flannery (Leslie Stewart), Anne Francis (Arliss Cooper), Tom Fuccello (Senator Dave Culver), Meg Gallagher (Louella), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Jerry Hardin (Elroy Askew), Ron Hayes (Hank Johnson), Susan Howard (Donna Culver), Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Audrey Landers (Afton Cooper), Monte Markham (Clint Ogden), Leigh McCloskey (Mitch Cooper), Victoria Principal (Pam Ewing), Robert Sampson (Senator Pascomb), Paul Sorensen (Andy Bradley), Don Starr (Jordan Lee), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Cooper), Deborah Tranelli (Phyllis), Noble Willingham (Justin Carlisle), Morgan Woodward (Punk Anderson)

“Making of a President” is available on DVD and at Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

The Best & Worst of TNT’s Dallas: Season 1

The first season of TNT’s “Dallas” brought the Ewings back to series television after a two-decade absence. I loved it – mostly.

Performances

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT

The Great One

The new “Dallas” cast divides into two categories: Larry Hagman and everyone else. As the now-elderly J.R., Hagman was sometimes mischievous, sometimes moving and always magical. Trying to figure out how Hagman does what he does is futile, so I just sit back and enjoy the ride. Nominate him in a supporting category if you must, but if Larry the Great doesn’t take home an Emmy next year, we should all raise hell.

Dallas, Julie Gonzalo, Rebecca Barnes, Rebecca Sutter, TNT

Your next queen

Among the rest of the cast, give it up for Julie Gonzalo, who made Rebecca’s desperation palpable as the character’s world collapsed in the season’s final hours. Seeing Rebecca drag around Tommy’s dead body in “Revelations” reminded me of when Abby Ewing did something similar on “Knots Landing” – which is fitting since Gonzalo seems destined to claim Donna Mills’s crown as television’s next great queen bee.

Storylines

The war for Southfork was the ideal vehicle to re-introduce “Dallas,” not just because the storyline ensnared every character – even Gary got involved – but also because it helped keep alive the memory of Miss Ellie, whose ghost looms over the new show the way Jock’s did on the old one.

The most incomplete plot: Sue Ellen’s run for governor. The character’s foray into politics can be seen as a logical outgrowth of her civic activism on the original show (remember all those Daughters of the Alamo luncheons Sue Ellen hosted?), but I wish the new series had acknowledged some of the skeletons rattling around her closet. Given Sue Ellen’s scandalous past, shouldn’t voters have been more skeptical of her candidacy?

Episodes

Dallas, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, TNT

Scarred, inside and out

“Family Business,” the episode where J.R. returns the Southfork deed to Bobby, is as good as any of the best entries from the classic series. This intimate hour offered poignant performances from Hagman and Patrick Duffy, but no one moved me like Josh Henderson, especially in the scene where John Ross pours out his heart to Elena about his failure to live up to J.R.’s legend (“I spent my entire life missing him, wanting to be with him, wanting to be him.”).

“The Last Hurrah,” the Ewing barbecue episode, was the season’s biggest letdown. It brought together more original cast members than any other TNT entry – in addition to J.R., Bobby and Sue Ellen, we also saw Cliff, Ray and Lucy – yet these old favorites shared little screen time. On the other hand, allow me to defend “The Last Hurrah’s” much-maligned calf-birthing sequence, a metaphor I appreciated, even if the snarkmeisters at Entertainment Weekly didn’t.

Scenes

As fantastic as J.R. and John Ross’s tense-then-tender “shaving scene” was in “The Price You Pay,” nothing wowed me like Ann’s sting against smarmy ex-husband Harris Ryland in “Revelations.” What a great scene! I liked Brenda Strong’s character from the beginning, but this was the moment that made me love her. Somewhere, Miss Ellie is smiling.

Twists

Ann Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, TNT

Great twist!

The new “Dallas’s” twist-a-minute storytelling was often too much, but not always: The moment Ann exposed the mic she was using to record Ryland’s confession was terrific, and so was the big reveal at the end of “Changing of the Guard,” when the audience learned J.R. and Marta were in cahoots.

Meanwhile, what should have been the season’s biggest twist – the revelation that Rebecca is Cliff’s daughter – was no surprise at all, at least not to “Dallas” diehards. Gonzalo’s character’s first name was a huge tipoff, and once we discovered Cliff had become a high-stakes gambler, her “Changing of the Guard” reference to her poker-playing daddy became another big clue. Still, seeing Cliff emerge from his jet in the final moments of “Revelations” – and then hearing Frank Ashkani refer to Rebecca as “Miss Barnes” – was pretty damn cool.

Cameos

Charlene Tilton’s appearance in “Collateral Damage,” when Lucy and John Ross reminisced about his boyhood antics while brunching at the Omni, was fabulous. Let this serve as the model for integrating old favorites into new storylines.

Less enthralling: The “Truth and Consequences” scene featuring Jerry Jones. Nothing against the Dallas Cowboys owner, but why remind fans of the dreadful 1998 reunion reunion movie “War of the Ewings,” which also featured a Jones cameo?

Homages

Dallas, Leonor Varela, Marta Del Sol, Veronica Martinez, TNT

Nut’s landing

The TNT series spent a lot of time honoring its predecessor. Among the best tributes: Ann’s penchant for shotguns and pearls (a la Miss Ellie), Marta’s deadly dive in “Collateral Damage” (shades of Julie Grey) and John Ross’s “Changing of the Guard” meeting with Marta at Cowboys Stadium, which evoked J.R.’s many stadium encounters in days of yore.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t also point out some of the historical liberties the new show took: Ellie’s commitment to a sanitarium after Jock’s death (when did this happen?), Grandpa Southworth giving the Ewing brothers the Southfork mineral rights (Ellie controlled them on the old show) and Cliff’s visit to Islamabad in the early 1980s (did he do it during the summer reruns?).

Villains

Carlos Bernard was effectively oily as Vicente Cano and Faran Tahir makes Frank a genuinely frightening dude, but my prize for best villain goes to Mitch Pileggi, whose Harris Ryland was creepy and charming all at once. Here’s hoping Pileggi will become the new “Dallas’s” answer to Jeremy Wendell, J.R.’s best adversary from the old show, played by the great William Smithers.

Supporting Players

Dallas, Margaret Bowman, Mrs. Henderson, TNT

Mrs. Henderson, Presented

Let’s hear it for the supporting actors – many of them honest-to-goodness Texans – who didn’t log a lot of screen time but made each moment count. My favorites: Richard Dillard, who was perfectly sleazy as Bobby’s double-dealing lawyer Mitch Lobell; Glenn Morshower as Lobell’s no-nonsense replacement, Lou; Brett Brock, who had real presence as John Ross’s private eye, Clyde Marshall; Kevin Page, who was oddly endearing as J.R.’s henchman Bum; and Margaret Bowman, who was a hoot as Southfork neighbor Miss Henderson.

Music

TNT’s heavy use of music on “Dallas” might be the new show’s best innovation of all. In “Hedging Your Bets,” J.R. and Sue Ellen reunited at the Cattle Baron’s Ball to the sounds of Justin Townes Earle’s gorgeous “Midnight at the Movies,” while Adele’s “Turning Tables” was the ideal soundtrack for Christopher and Rebecca’s “Changing of the Guard” wedding sequence.

The real highlight: the instant classic montage that concluded “Family Business,” when Bobby’s collapse and Rebecca and Tommy’s gun struggle played out as Johnny Cash’s “The Man Who Came Around” boomed in the background. And while Cash’s “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” was a fine choice to end “Revelations,” I hope the show doesn’t return to that particular well for awhile.

Costumes

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT

Cool zip

The zip-front dress Sue Ellen wore when she visited Ryland in “The Enemy of My Enemy” was the perfect garment for a woman who was exposing her vulnerabilities in a bid to help her son. I also liked how the dress showed Linda Gray, now in her 70s, could still be sexy and playful.

Sets

Loved the groovy spectrum artwork in Sue Ellen’s office. Hated the watercolor painting of Jock and Ellie that hangs in the Southfork living room.

Quips

As much as I enjoyed all the hilarious stuff that came out of J.R.’s mouth, Sue Ellen delivered the season’s best line in “No Good Deed” when she blackmailed the hapless medical examiner by reminding him, “You’ve been writing more prescriptions than Michael Jackson’s doctor – which is odd, since all of your patients are dead.”

Biggest head-scratcher: “We ain’t family, bro.” – John Ross’s putdown of Christopher in “Hedging Your Bets.”

Behind the Scenes

Much praise goes to the many talented folks on the other side of the camera, including Michael M. Robin, the most inventive director in the history of the “Dallas” franchise; cinematographer Rodney Charters, who makes the real-life Dallas look so good, the city should name a street after him; and the TNT Publicity Machine, which did a helluva job promoting the show in the months before its debut.

Of course, the biggest hat tip goes to Cynthia Cidre, the new “Dallas’s” creative force. After an uneven start, Cidre – with help from a team of talented writers – brought “Dallas” back to its roots as a character-driven family drama. Let’s hope they keep the momentum going in Season 2.

What do you love and loathe about the first season of TNT’s “Dallas”? Share your comments below and read more “Best & Worst” reviews.

The Best & Worst of Dallas: Season 3

“Dallas’s” third season offers lots to celebrate – and a few things to curse.

Performances

Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing

Can’t touch this

Larry Hagman and Linda Gray do mighty impressive work in Season 3, but even they can’t touch Jim Davis and Barbara Bel Geddes. Since I began re-watching “Dallas,” the nicest discovery has been how good Davis is as Jock, especially in third-season episodes like “The Dove Hunt,” when he stares down rifle-wielding Tom Owens, and “Return Engagements,” when the humbled Ewing patriarch is a surprise guest at Gary and Valene’s wedding.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

This either

Meanwhile, Bel Geddes brings her trademark quiet strength to “Ellie Saves the Day” and “Return Engagements,” but the actress also shows us her character’s vulnerable side in “Mastectomy, Part 1” and “Mastectomy, Part 2,” the episodes that won Bel Geddes an Emmy. She earned the award, but I can’t help but think how much sweeter her victory would have been if the equally deserving Davis had been honored too.

Storylines

Choosing the season’s best narrative is tough – Sue Ellen’s struggle with motherhood and Ray and Donna’s tortured love story are each strong contenders – but J.R.’s risky Asian oil deal gets my vote for most compelling plot. This storyline isn’t about exploring J.R.’s business acumen as much as it is about delving into his psyche: By revealing how far the character is willing to go to build Ewing Oil (he mortgages Southfork!), the show lets us know J.R. is every bit as compulsive as Sue Ellen. She may be powerless over booze, but he’s addicted to his own ambition.

Least favorite storyline: Lucy becomes engaged to Alan Beam to spite J.R. Really, “Dallas”?

Episodes

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy

Save them, Mama

Choosing the third year’s finest hour is tough. A strong case can be made for “A House Divided,” the finale that famously ends with J.R. getting shot (for the second time this season, after he’s ambushed in “The Dove Hunt”). But my ultimate choice is “Ellie Saves the Day,” the poignant hour that brings the Ewing empire to the brink of collapse. If you want to understand why Bobby fought so hard to protect his mama’s legacy on TNT’s “Dallas,” watch this episode.

Worst third-season entry: “Power Play.” Lucy romances Alan at a roller disco, Kristin captures their canoodling with some artfully framed Polaroid snapshots and Jock starts jive talking. “You dig?” he asks Lucy at one point. Um, no big guy. We don’t.

Scenes

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Kristin Shepard, Larry Hagman, Mary Crosby

Gusher!

So many choices: I love when Patricia Shepard predicts John Ross’s future in “The Silent Killer,” the pep talk Bobby offers a worried Jock in “Ellie Saves the Day” and the “Paternity Suit” sequence where J.R. picks up his infant son for the first time. There’s also Miss Ellie’s encounter with phony-baloney Marilee Stone and Linda Bradley (also from “Paternity Suit”), as well as the lovely beach scene where Gary and Val make amends with Lucy, which occurred on “Knots Landing” but is too good to not mention here.

Ultimately, my favorite scene is the “Mother of the Year” sequence that mimics the rhythms of an oil strike. J.R. sits in his office, staring at his telephone, depressed because he hasn’t hit a gusher in Asia. Then the phones begin ringing as news of his big strike trickles in, leading to J.R.’s joyful eruption (“Yee-ha! We hit!”). Brilliant.

The season’s most ridiculous moment: when Kristin “accidentally” pours her drink into her sister’s lap during their “Divorce, Ewing Style” lunch date. Sue Ellen, how did you not know you were being set up?

Supporting Players

Dallas, Donna Culver, Susan Howard

The best, fur sure

Susan Howard, who was still a guest star during “Dallas’s” third season, is the best supporting player, hands down. This is the year Donna is torn between honoring the memory of her dead husband and beginning a new life with Ray – and the actress does a beautiful job conveying her character’s torment. Besides Patrick Duffy, no one delivers breathy, soul-searching dialogue better than Howard.

Costumes

Forget about the metaphorical value associated with the jeans the rebellious Sue Ellen wears in “Rodeo” and focus on how good Linda Gray looks in them. Get it, girl!

The green spandex pants Kristin wears in the same episode might be the season’s most dated costume, but I’ll confess: I kind of love it.

Music

I also love, love, love John Parker’s “I’ll Still Be Loving You,” which is heard at the end of “Rodeo,” when Ray finally calls Donna after ignoring her letters. The tune, which becomes another of Ray’s anthems, is rivaled only by Jerrold Immel’s theme as my favorite piece of “Dallas” music.

Quips

Best: “Once I heard you were back in town, I just had some of my friends check out some of the cheaper motels.” – J.R.’s greeting to Val in “Secrets.” I could watch Hagman and Joan Van Ark go at it all day.

Worst: “And when I didn’t get married, I thought I was gonna die. But instead, I went to college.” – Lucy recalling her romantic history to Alan Beam in “The Heiress.” Oh, “Dallas.” Charlene Tilton is such a charming actress. Why do you insist on giving her ridiculous lines?

What do you love and loathe about “Dallas’s” third season? Share your comments below and read more “Best & Worst” reviews.

The Best & Worst of Dallas: Season 2

“Dallas” was still figuring itself out during its second season, which means there was plenty to hail and heckle.

Performances

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

Don’t mess with Mama

Although every member of the ensemble has great moments this season, no one is as consistently wonderful as Barbara Bel Geddes. Miss Ellie becomes a somewhat frustrating character as “Dallas” progresses – she too often casts a blind eye to J.R.’s shenanigans, in my view – but Season 2 is the year you do not want to mess with Mama. We see her demand J.R. clean up his act, order Julie to stay away from Jock and urge Pam to fight for her marriage. (There’s also Ellie’s encounter with the poor sap who makes the mistake of sneaking onto Southfork; see “Scenes” below.) In just about every second-season episode, Bel Geddes demonstrates how lucky “Dallas” is to have her.

Episodes

“Black Market Baby” is the most intriguing, “For Love or Money” is the saddest and “Royal Marriage” is a sentimental favorite, but “John Ewing III, Part 2” gets my vote for the season’s all-around best episode. Linda Gray is mesmerizing in the scene where Sue Ellen tearfully confesses her sins to Bobby, but Larry Hagman, Ken Kercheval and Victoria Principal all have terrific moments too.

Hands down, the season’s weakest hour is “Runaway,” the first – and so far only – “Dallas” episode to receive a “D” grade from me. Run away, indeed.

Scenes

Ten words of dialogue are all you need to describe Season 2’s best scene: “Ray, get me the shotgun out of the hall closet.”

The worst scene? The “Call Girl” sequence where Leeann Rees (Veronica Hamel) lures drunken Ben Maxwell (Fred Beir) into Pam’s bed while J.R.’s sleazy photographer furiously snaps pictures outside the window. What a farce. I half expect Mr. and Mrs. Roper to come charging into the room, wondering what all the commotion is all about.

Supporting Players

Dallas, Joan Van Ark, Valene Ewing

Knockout

I don’t care how many times I watch it, Joan Van Ark’s performance at the end of “Reunion, Part 2” always knocks me out. In the blink of an eye, Valene goes from anguished when she bids Gary adieu to enraged when she confronts J.R. for driving away his middle brother. With the exception of Linda Gray, no actress in “Dallas” history has better chemistry with Larry Hagman than Van Ark. What a shame she didn’t spend more time at Southfork.

My least-favorite guest stars: the three actors who portray the bad guys in “Kidnapped.” What’s the bigger crime here: holding Bobby hostage or the witless Edward G. Robinson imitations these villains-of-the-week deliver? Then again, what do you expect when performers are given lines like, “We may have the wrong goose – but he can still lay the golden egg!”

Costumes

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Ken Kercheval, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Timeless

I loved the striped hoodie, green pants and knee-high tan boots Pam wears during the “Election” scene where Cliff persuades her to organize a fashion show fundraiser for his state senate campaign. You could put this outfit on Jordana Brewster on TNT’s “Dallas” and she’d look just as stylish as Victoria Principal does in 1978.

Pam also gets my vote for worst outfit: the weird “pants dress” she sports in “Black Market Baby.”

Music

Season 1 gives us Jerrold Immel’s classic “Dallas” theme music, but Season 2 brings us many of John Parker’s magical background tunes, including “The Only Lovers,” Bobby and Pam’s theme; “The Adulteress,” Sue Ellen’s bluesy signature; and “The Loyal Foreman,” Ray’s anthem. (If you don’t own it already, do yourself a favor and purchase Parker’s classic “Dallas” soundtrack today.)

Quips

Best: “Bobby, come on. Women marry homosexuals all the time. It seems to suit a lot of them.” – J.R.’s response in “Royal Marriage” after Bobby questions his insistence Lucy marry the closeted oil-and-cattle heir Kit Mainwaring.

Worst: In “Fallen Idol,” J.R. expresses his annoyance with Guzzler Bennett’s name-dropping thusly: “The next thing you know, the name of that actress is gonna be Farrah Fawcett-Guzzler.” Oh, J.R.! Leave the pop culture references to Sue Ellen.

What do you love and loathe about “Dallas’s” second season? Share your comments below and read more “Best & Worst” reviews.

The Best & Worst of Dallas: Season 1

“Dallas’s” first season is comprised of just five episodes, but there’s no shortage of things to cheer and jeer.

Performances

Dallas, Digger's Daughter, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Own it, honey

Sorry Mr. Hagman, but Victoria Principal owns Season 1. The actress makes Pam confident and charming, with a laugh that would make Julia Roberts envious. Pam is also unapologetically sexual, making her one of television’s breakthrough women characters. If you’ve forgotten how intriguing Pam is when “Dallas” begins – and how terrific Principal is in the role – go watch any of the first five episodes. She’s the best thing about each one.

Episodes

I tend to like my “Dallas” dark, which might be why “Digger’s Daughter” is my favorite first-season entry. Some of this has to do with the writing, but a lot of it has to with the weather: This episode was filmed in the real-life Dallas in early 1978, when the city was in the midst of its coldest-ever winter, and all those stark landscapes and lifeless skies make it one of the show’s moodiest, broodiest hours. It’s also remarkable how many “Dallas” hallmarks are present from the very beginning: the Southfork cocktail hour, J.R. and Bobby’s Cain-and-Abel shtick, J.R.’s daddy issues, everyone’s obsession with the firstborn grandson.

Some fans consider “Lessons” the season’s lowlight. I don’t. Yes, the episode’s main plot – Lucy is skipping school! – makes “Lessons” feel more like an “ABC Afterschool Special” than “Dallas,” but don’t overlook the many wonderful character-building moments here, including Miss Ellie and Pam’s coffee talk and the precedent-setting office scene between J.R. and Bobby. As an added bonus, “Lessons” concludes with that ’70stastic disco sequence, which only gets more fabulous with age.

Scenes

Hands down, the season’s best scene showcases two characters you’ve probably forgotten: Tilly and Sam, the gossipy caterers who appear in “Barbecue” and are never seen or mentioned again. Irma P. Hall and Haskel Craver are a hoot; imagine the cheeky, “Downton Abbey” vibe they would have lent the show if they had become regulars.

No scene qualifies as the first season’s “worst,” although hindsight being what it is, I could do without all those shots of Lucy and Ray cavorting in the hayloft.

Supporting Players

Dallas, Julie Grey, Tina Louise

Grey matters

Oh, how I love Tina Louise in “Spy in the House.” Of all of J.R.’s mistresses, Julie Grey will always be my favorite because Louise makes the character feel so heartbreakingly real. I can’t help but root for Julie, even when she doesn’t root for herself.

My least favorite guest star: Cooper Huckabee, who cackles his way through his role as Payton Allen, Brian Dennehy’s “Winds of Vengeance” sidekick.

Locales

I know this puts me in the minority among “Dallas” diehards, but I like the estate used as Southfork during the first season. The compound-style setting – one big house for Jock and Miss Ellie, surrounded by a series of smaller homes for each son and his wife – feels more credible as a wealthy family’s homestead.

Worst set: Sky Blue, the Braddock disco where the Ewings shake their booties in “Lessons,” is the least convincing nightclub I’ve ever seen. Was this place a Sizzler in real life?

Costumes

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Seeing red

Bobby’s leather jacket is iconic and also metaphorical: He’s wearing it at the beginning of “Digger’s Daughter” when he and Pam are nervously headed to Southfork to announce their nuptials. We wonder: Are the Ewings are going to tan Bobby’s actual hide when they discover he has wed a Barnes?

Worst wardrobe choice: J.R.’s garish red belt buckle. Of course, as gaudy as it is, at least it’s not covered in gold and stamped with the character’s initials like the one he sports on the new TNT series.

Behind the Scenes

Every time I watch these early episodes, I can’t help but wonder what direction “Dallas” might have taken if creator David Jacobs had retained control of the series after the first season. Jacobs is a television genius; if he had stuck around, I have no doubt this great show would have turned out even greater.

What do you love and loathe about “Dallas’s” first season? Share your comments below and read more “Best & Worst” reviews.

… And We’re Back

Announcement - And We're Back copy

Nice to be back

After taking a breather in August, Dallas Decoder is back.

This week, I’ll post “Best & Worst” reviews for each of the original “Dallas’s” first three seasons, as well as my wrap-up of the TNT series’ inaugural season.

Next week, I’ll resume critiquing the classic show’s episodes, picking up where I left off in the middle of the fourth season. I also plan to add some new features and drop older ones – and then before you know it, 2013 will be here and it’ll be time to dive back into TNT’s “Dallas,” which is slated to begin its second season in January.

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who reads Dallas Decoder. Your support means a lot to me. I hope you’ll continue to read and share your feedback – and if you haven’t already done so, please consider “liking” Dallas Decoder on Facebook and following us on Twitter and Pinterest.

Enjoy Labor Day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow!

The Dallas Decoder Guide to Politics, Ewing Style

Sue Ellen is the latest Ewing to hit the hustings. (Photo credit: Bill Matlock/TNT)

The Republicans are in Tampa and the Democrats are headed to Charlotte, but the real political heavyweights are in “Dallas.” Here’s a look at some of the gladhanders, grandstanders and gurus who’ve courted the Ewings’ support – and occasionally, their wrath – on the original series, its “Knots Landing” spinoff and TNT’s “Dallas” revival.

MAYNARD ANDERSON (Peter Mark Richman)

Maynard Anderson

Anderson was an oil industry darling whose appointment to a high-ranking Department of Energy post left Jock and J.R. giddy. But Andreson’s new job was jeopardized when his shrewish wife Melissa threatened to expose his affair with Jenna Wade, Bobby’s old flame. J.R. promised to help out his pal Anderson, which meant using Jenna to try to split up newlyweds Bobby and Pam. J.R.’s ploy failed and Jenna released Bobby from her clutches (for awhile, anyway); the audience never learned if Mr. Anderson actually went to Washington.

CLIFF BARNES (Ken Kercheval)

Cliff Barnes

Cliff had a talent for attracting trouble – his college girlfriend died after a botched abortion and he was arrested for Julie Grey’s murder and Bobby Ewing’s shooting – but he never let scandal get in the way of his ambition. Despite losing bids for state senate and Congress, Cliff was appointed to several cushy gigs, including oil industry watchdog and “energy czar.” Of course, Cliff was too busy trying to beat the Ewings to hold onto any job long. As we learned in the “Dallas” finale, if J.R. hadn’t been born, Cliff would’ve been president!

ALAN BEAM (Randolph Powell)

Alan Beam

Alan was a rising star at Smithfield Bennett, the law firm that represented the Ewings, but he wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he believed in – and above all, he believed in Cliff, whose congressional campaign he managed. (Alan even had the courage to wear a “Barnes for Congress” button to Jock’s birthday dinner!) Too bad it was all a ruse: Alan really worked for J.R., who wanted to sabotage Cliff’s campaign from the inside. The plan worked like a charm, but when J.R. and Alan had a falling out, Alan became a prime suspect in J.R.’s shooting. (FYI: He didn’t do it.)

COUNCILMAN MARTIN COLE (Allen Case)

Martin Cole

When the Ewings needed a candidate to run against Cliff for state senate, they recruited Cole, a Fort Worth city councilman who had the right platform (pro-gun, anti-abortion) and connections (he was married to Senator Orloff’s niece Nancy) but the wrong personality – which is to say he had none. With Cliff gaining in the polls, Jock ordered Cole to fire his speechwriter and buy more TV time; he also instructed J.R. to take Mr. Milquetoast shopping for snazzier suits. Cole won – not because of his image makeover, but because J.R. exposed Cliff’s skeletons.

SENATOR DAVE CULVER (Tom Fuccello)

Dave Culver

Dave, the son of political legend Sam Culver, pushed through a health-care reform bill as a member of the state legislature, but once he moved to the U.S. Senate, his main duty seemed to be flying home to tell the Ewings about the doings in Washington. Interestingly, the family never seemed to mind that Dave recruited Jock for his ill-fated mission to South America. This might be because the senator was one of the Ewings’ most reliable matchmakers: Dave introduced stepmom Donna to Andrew Dowling and hooked Bobby up with Kay Lloyd.

GOVERNOR SAM CULVER (John McIntire)

Sam Culver

Sam, a onetime Texas governor and speaker of the house, was one of Texas’s most powerful men. When Cliff was running the Office of Land Management and putting the screws to the Ewings, J.R. tried to blackmail Donna Culver, Sam’s young bride, into persuading her husband to oust Cliff from his perch. Instead, Donna confessed all to Sam, who forgave his wife and threw his support behind Cliff. Sam’s devotion to Donna was admirable, but he wasn’t perfect: After his death, she discovered Sam and Jock once staged a land grab that resulted in Sam’s uncle’s suicide.

SENATOR ANDREW DOWLING (Jim McMullan)

Andrew Dowling

Dowling, possessor of the thickest head of senatorial hair this side of John F. Kerry, disagreed with lobbyist Donna Culver Krebbs on every issue, including tariffs on imported oil and U.S. intervention in Nicaragua (how topical, “Dallas”!), but that didn’t keep him from sweeping the very married, very pregnant Donna off her feet. Later, when the Justice Department was about to lay the smackdown on Ewing Oil over J.R.’s escapades in the Middle East, Dowling tipped off the family, which really should have been Dave Culver’s job, but whatever.

WALT DRISCOLL (Ben Piazza) and EDGAR RANDOLPH (Martin E. Brooks)

Walt Driscoll and Edgar Randolph

Here we have a pair of hapless, mustachioed bureaucrats: Driscoll was one of Cliff’s successors at the Office of Land Management, while Randolph was a federal contracting official. Both men were blackmailed by J.R., both tried to kill him (Driscoll with a car, Randolph with a gun) and both turned suicidal, except Randolph couldn’t do that right, either.

SENATOR BOBBY EWING (Patrick Duffy)

Bobby Ewing

When the governor appointed Dave Culver to fill an empty U.S. Senate seat, his party tried to recruit Dave’s stepmom Donna to complete his term in Austin. She demurred, so party leaders turned to Bobby, who ran for the job and won in a landslide. Bobby then hired Cliff as his legal counsel, which might explain why he seemed so unfamiliar with the term “conflict of interest.” Not only did Senator Ewing preside over an inquiry into his father’s plan to build a resort on Lake Takapa, he also participated in a state investigation into the coup J.R. financed in Asia.

GARY EWING (Ted Shackelford)

Gary Ewing

Like Cliff, Gary didn’t let his private demons keep him from taking a stab at public service. Despite a record that included drinking, gambling, an arrest for murder (Ciji Dunne) and multiple marriages (including one to Valene when she was just 15), Gary – the middle Ewing brother – decided to run for state senator in his adopted home of California. He lost, although the electoral defeat probably stung less than the fact Gary’s wife Abby was sleeping with his opponent, Peter Hollister.

J.R. EWING (Larry Hagman)

J.R. Ewing

When J.R. and Bobby were battling each other for control of Ewing Oil, J.R. tried to beat baby brother by opening a chain of cut-rate gas stations. After he plugged them on Roy Ralston’s talk show, the public clamored for J.R. to run for office (presaging Ross Perot’s use of “Larry King Live” as his political launching pad). Nothing came of this, but for awhile, Dave Culver was worried J.R. might run against him. When Dave questioned J.R.’s fitness for office (“All he knows about is oil!”), Ray reminded him about Jimmy Carter: “All he knew about was peanut farming.”

SUE ELLEN EWING (Linda Gray)

Sue Ellen Ewing

Sue Ellen is running for governor on TNT’s “Dallas,” despite the skeletons she stuffed in her closet during the original series. To recap: Sue Ellen was institutionalized for alcoholism; arrested for J.R.’s shooting; and embroiled in a series of ugly paternity suits, divorces and custody battles. Also, a drunken Sue Ellen was behind the wheel when Walt Driscoll smashed into J.R.’s car, and when J.R. was shot again, she did pull the trigger. The hits keep coming: Sue Ellen recently accepted a donation from sleazy Harris Ryland and blackmailed a coroner.

MISS ELLIE EWING FARLOW (Barbara Bel Geddes)

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow

Miss Ellie never held office, but she was the only “Dallas”-ite who seemed to possess the political savvy needed to get things done. In her role as a leader of the civic-minded Daughters of the Alamo, she stopped high-rise apartments from being built in Mimosa Park (by the way, did Sue Ellen name that place?) and converted an abandoned building downtown into a homeless shelter. Ellie wasn’t afraid to get personal either: When Jock wanted to build a resort on Lake Takapa, she threatened to divorce him!

DONNA CULVER KREBBS (Susan Howard)

Donna Culver Krebbs

Donna was a go-to political gal: She advised stepson Dave Culver, served on the Texas Energy Commission and became an oil industry lobbyist. Like all good public servants, Donna strove for consistency: While she was married to Sam Culver, she began an affair with Ray Krebbs, then married Ray and began seeing Andrew Dowling (while pregnant with Ray’s child). Donna divorced Ray, gave birth to their daughter Margaret, married Dowling and moved to Washington – where she hopefully found the happy ending that eluded her in Dallas.

KAY LLOYD (Karen Kopins)

Kay Lloyd

When the feds discovered J.R. tried to blow up the Middle East to boost domestic oil prices (no, really), the Justice Department shut down Ewing Oil and prohibited the family from using the company name again. Bobby went to work reclaiming the name with help from Kay, a Dowling aide who lived a fabulous lifestyle (chauffered limousine, swanky apartment, designer duds) despite the meager salary she must’ve received as a Capitol Hill staffer. Bobby and Kay became an item, but the romance died when she wasn’t willing to move to Dallas. (Can you blame her?)

SENATOR HENRY HARRISON O’DELL (Howard Duff)

Henry Harrison O’Dell

To reclaim the Ewing Oil name, Bobby turned to Jock’s old friend O’Dell, a powerful senator who was eager to help – but only if Bobby agreed to buy him a retirement castle in Scotland. (It turned out O’Dell wasn’t fond of the unnamed state he represented, which he called a “mosquito-infested swamp.”) Bobby was reluctant to play O’Dell’s game until Kay told him that’s how Washington works. In the end, Bobby got the Ewing Oil name back, O’Dell got his castle – and hopefully, the senator’s constituents got a more honorable representative.

SENATOR “WILD BILL” ORLOFF (Norman Alden)

“Wild Bill” Orloff

State Senator Orloff was a friendly, backslapping good old boy who did just about anything the Ewings asked of him. Did his eagerness to please have anything to do with the fact the Ewings bought Orloff the house he shared with his pretty little wife Dorothy? Good-government crusader Cliff thought so. When J.R.’s disillusioned secretary/mistress Julie leaked a copy of the trust deed to Cliff, he exposed the Ewing-Orloff shenanigans and Orloff was forced to resign his seat. But he and Dorothy kept their house.

STEPHANIE ROGERS (Lesley-Anne Down)

Stephanie Rogers

When Cliff emerged as a public hero after leading an inquiry into an Exxon Valdez-style oil spill involving a Ewing Oil tanker (honestly, how did this company stay in business?), he toyed with the idea of running for governor. Enter Stephanie Rogers, the British-accented PR whiz who promised Cliff she would further polish his image and get him elected. When that didn’t happen, Cliff fired Stephanie, who disappeared faster than anyone could say, “Fake Alexis.”

GREG and ABBY SUMNER (William Devane, Donna Mills)

Greg and Abby Sumner

Sumner was a California state legislator running for U.S. Senate when Gary’s wife Abby offered him a campaign check from J.R. Sumner declined the money but won the seat, only to resign weeks later to go into business. Later, Sumner and Abby married and he went after an appointment as trade representative to Japan – which she got instead.

SHERIFF FENTON WASHBURN (Barry Corbin)

Fenton Washburn

Washburn was your stereotypical big-bellied Texas sheriff. Although the Ewings owned him, Washburn didn’t hesitate to exert his authority when the family ran afoul of the law: He arrested Jock for Hutch McKinney’s murder, hauled J.R. in for questioning in Kristin Shepard’s death and threatened to arrest Sue Ellen for manslaughter after the car accident that paralyzed Mickey Trotter. He responded slowly when Miss Ellie was kidnapped, which might explain why the next time the Ewings needed the police, there was a new sheriff in town: Burnside (Ken Swofford).

GOVERNOR MARK WHITE (Himself)

Mark White

White attended the 1985 Ewing Rodeo, giving him the distinction of being the only real-life politician to appear on “Dallas.” (Rival soap “Dynasty” once hosted Gerald Ford and Henry Kissinger.) Of course, White’s cameo ended up being part of Pam’s dream, which might explain why his speech to the rodeogoers was so hilariously brief (“Thank you. Thank you. It’s really great to be with y’all up here today. Thank you.”). Think about it: a politician who limits public pronouncements to just 16 words? If that’s not a dream, I don’t know what is.

What has “Dallas” taught you about politics? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Decoder Guides.”