‘Who Killed J.R.?’ What We Know (and What We Don’t)

April 2, 2013 by 73 Comments

Carlos Del Sol, Castulo Guerra, Christopher Ewing, Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Emily Kosloski, Harris Ryland, Jesse Metcalfe, J.R. Ewing, Ken Kercheval, Larry Hagman, Mitch Pileggi, TNT, Who Killed J.R.? “Dallas” drops tantalizing new clues in the “Who Killed J.R.?” mystery throughout “Let Me In,” the TNT drama’s latest episode. Here’s a look at what we know and what we don’t, along with some more wild speculation.

J.R.’S MASTER PLAN

What we know: In “Let Me In,” Bobby (Patrick Duffy) lets Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) in on a big secret: Before J.R. died, he was devising a master plan against the family’s enemies, Cliff and Harris (Ken Kercheval, Mitch Pileggi). Bobby shows Sue Ellen the evidence that J.R. left behind and gives her a helpful overview of her ex-husband’s scheme. Take it away, Bobby:

“J.R. knew that Cliff and Harris would join forces and come after us. That’s why he wanted us to have this – all pieces to the puzzle of his master plan to take them down, once and for all. Barnes Global financial history. Ryland’s trucking in Mexico. Christopher’s mother’s whereabouts. Somehow it’s all connected. John Ross, Christopher and I are trying to figure it all out. Connect the dots. Finish what J.R. started. We need to find a way to ruin them, before they ruin us.”

What we don’t know: Assuming Bobby is reading the clues correctly, we now know all the pieces belong to the same puzzle. The question is, how do they fit together?

Wild speculation: One Dallas Decoder reader offered a nifty theory last week. We know Pam (Victoria Principal) fled Southfork in 1987 after being disfigured in a fiery car crash. Suppose that incident is part of the conspiracy J.R. stumbled upon before his death? Remember: Pam crashed into a tanker truck. And who on “Dallas” is in the trucking business? Harris Ryland, of course! I have no idea why he would want to harm Pam, but this coincidence is too fun to ignore.

PAM

What we know: After learning Pam was last seen in Abu Dhabi in 1989, Bobby told John Ross and Christopher (Josh Henderson, Jesse Metcalfe) that his contact in the Justice Department is tracking her down but needs more time. Later, John Ross snooped around Pamela’s computer and found a copy of her grandmother Rebecca Wentworth’s will, which John Ross reviewed with Bobby, Sue Ellen and Christopher.

The will shows Rebecca left her estate – including her shares of Barnes Global – to her three children: Katherine, Cliff and Pam. Bobby determined the estate is in a living trust, which means if the Ewings can’t find Pam, Christopher will inherit her shares. “If we can get Pam’s shares, we can kick the legs out from under Cliff. Maybe his entire plan. That’s why J.R. wanted us to find Pam. That’s our move,” Bobby said.

What we don’t know: In a previous episode, we learned Katherine is dead. If this is true, who inherited her third of Barnes Global and why isn’t anyone asking about that? (Or does the living trust arrangement render that point moot? Help me out here, legal eagles.)

Wild speculation: I still like the idea that Katherine (Morgan Brittany) stole Pam’s identity before she died and that this whole thing is going to lead to nutty Ms. Wentworth. It seems unlikely, though, since Brittany recently told Dallas Divas Derby she hasn’t been contacted by the show’s execs. I’m also not sure the Ewings are going to find Pam alive. Given Cliff’s dark nature, isn’t it possible he offed Pam, perhaps in cahoots with her plastic surgeon Dr. David Gordon, who is expected to resurface before this season is over?

Another off-the-wall theory: Instead of bringing back Pam or Katherine, what if “Dallas” revives a member of the Barnes family who’ll be more familiar to today’s audience: Frank Ashkani (Faran Tahir), Cliff’s “adopted” son, who killed himself earlier this season? One Dallas Decoder reader recently suggested the pills Frank swallowed might not have been all that lethal. Could Cliff have conspired with Frank to fake his death so Frank could go to Mexico and kill J.R.?

‘LADY X’

What we know: After J.R.’s death in Nuevo Laredo, a Mexican border town, his friend Carlos del Sol (Castulo Guerra) told the Ewings that J.R. met a woman in a club near the hotel where he died. I previously dubbed this woman “Lady X.” In “Let Me In,” we learn her identity: Rhonda (Emily Kosloski), the club hostess. She tells Bobby that J.R. wanted to ask her about an American who frequented the club, which she said was owned by the local drug cartel. When Bobby showed her a picture of Harris, Rhonda identified him as the American in question.

“What would Ryland be doing with narco traffickers? Is that what his trucks are taking back and forth across the border? Maybe J.R. was on to that,” Bobby said. Carlos responded he would alert the Mexican federales and “let them know there may be a connection between the cartel and Ryland Transport.”

What we don’t know: Are Carlos and Rhonda telling the truth? All along, I’ve suspected Carlos is somehow involved in J.R.’s death. And what should we make of the odd expression on Bobby’s face after Rhonda tells him, “J.R.’s not the first man to invite me back to his hotel room. He just wanted to talk. Share a drink. He was kind to me. Gentlemen are in such short supply where I work. I’m so sorry, what happened to your brother.”

Wild speculation: What if Cliff is the killer and has secretly aligned himself with Carlos, a fellow billionaire, to frame Harris for the crime? Consider this: Why would Cliff, a global titan, need to join forces with Harris, a Texas trucking magnate, to bring down the Ewings? I know Cliff told Harris he wanted to take advantage of Harris’s “muscle” and friendship with the governor, but Cliff has demonstrated he has those kinds of resources and connections himself. Could Cliff be duping Harris?

On the other hand: The Rylands seem to have real connections to the Mexican border. Did you catch the Laredo address on the pill bottle Emma showed John Ross at J.R.’s funeral?

THE GUN AND THE LETTER

What we know: When J.R.’s private eye Bum (Kevin Page) gave Bobby, John Ross and Christopher the evidence that J.R. left behind, the package included a gun, which was accompanied by a letter from J.R. to John Ross. It stated: “Use what I’ve given you to take from them what they want to take from us. When you’ve done that, Bobby will know what to do.”

J.R. also left behind a letter to Bobby, which he refused to discuss with John Ross and Christopher. “This is between my brother and me – for now,” Bobby told them. Privately, Bobby told Bum to “pay off whoever you have to pay off so that everybody still thinks J.R. was killed by a mugger. When the time comes, we’ll take care of this ourselves – as a family.”

What we don’t know: Precious little. I don’t think the letter reveals the identity of J.R.’s killer; otherwise, why isn’t Bobby simply going after that person? Instead, I think the document somehow lets Bobby know that J.R. wasn’t the victim of a random crime. Or perhaps it reveals something else – like maybe some sort of family secret? Recall what Bobby said when he toasted his dead brother after receiving the note: “I knew you’d have at least one more left up your sleeve, J.R. It is a good one. I love you brother.”

Wild speculation: Once again, I return to the theory that J.R. planned his own death. I know a lot of fans don’t like this idea, but it seems like you can use the available evidence to support it. Suppose J.R. knew that he was dying and decided to take advantage of the situation by arranging to have himself shot, then leaving instructions for Bobby – via the letter – to use the gun to frame Cliff, Harris or both for his “murder”? Perhaps Bobby’s last line in his recap for Sue Ellen is telling: “We need to find a way to ruin them, before they ruin us.”

Or hell, maybe it really was Kristin.

Who done it? Share your theories below and read more posts on Dallas Decoder’s “Who Killed J.R.?” page.

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‘Who Killed J.R.?’ 5 Questions Surrounding ‘Dallas’s’ Mystery

March 14, 2013 by 64 Comments

Bobby Ewing, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Jesse Metcalfe, John Ross Ewing, Josh Henderson, Patrick Duffy, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?Every “Dallas” fan has one thing on his or her mind: “Who Killed J.R?” Before the mystery is solved, a few other questions must be addressed. Will the answers lead us to one of the eight potential suspects I named earlier this week?

1. Why was J.R. in Mexico? In “J.R.’s Masterpiece,” this week’s “Dallas” episode, we learned our hero was shot and killed in a flophouse in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. According to the policewoman who investigated the crime, J.R. entered the country to go quail hunting. Later, his private eye Bum (Kevin Page) told Bobby, John Ross and Christopher that the quail hunt was a cover: J.R. was actually following a lead in his scheme to bring down Harris Ryland (Mitch Pileggi), the Texas trucking magnate who specializes in driving the Ewings crazy.

What business would Harris have in a place like Nuevo Laredo? The policewoman told the Ewings that the local drug cartels have started reaching out to “successful businessmen across the border for advice.” Bobby (Patrick Duffy) insisted J.R. would never do business with the cartel, and we don’t doubt him. Harris, on the other hand, might be the type to get mixed up in the illegal drug trade. After all, didn’t he try last season to blackmail Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) into laundering money for him?

2. Why was J.R. looking for Pam? Before J.R. entered Mexico, he went to Abu Dhabi to close an oil deal. But as Bum explained to Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe): “The reason he chose Abu Dhabi was because for the last several months, he’s been trying to find your mother.” Bobby’s stunned reaction: “You mean Pam?” Bum didn’t respond to Bobby; instead, he handed Christopher a document and said, “J.R. thought that once you’d seen this, you’d understand why it’s important for you to find your mama.”

Let’s pause here to remember that Christopher had two mommies: Kristin Shepard (Mary Crosby), his biological mother, who famously shot J.R. in 1980 and later drowned in the Southfork swimming pool, and Pam (Victoria Principal), Bobby’s first wife, with whom Bobby adopted Christopher after Kristin’s death. Assuming Kristin is really dead and that she isn’t the missing mama that J.R. was trailing, the question becomes: Why in heavens would J.R. want to find Pam, his longtime nemesis?

Some theories from Dallas Decoder readers: J.R. figured Pam, who abandoned Bobby and Christopher after she was badly burned in a fiery car crash, is the only person who might be able to talk her brother Cliff Barnes (Ken Kercheval) into finally ending his war against the Ewings. Or perhaps J.R. found evidence that Cliff had somehow bilked an unwitting Pam and/or Christopher out of their rightful share of the fortune they inherited from Pam and Cliff’s rich mother Rebecca Wentworth. (Could such evidence be included in the document that Bum handed Christopher?) Or maybe the aging J.R., seeking immortality, wanted to find Pam because he knew of her ability to dream dead Ewings back to life.

Whatever the reason, if Christopher resumes Uncle J.R.’s search and ends up finding Pam, don’t expect her to look like Principal. Earlier this month, as rumors swirled that Pam might return to “Dallas,” Principal issued a statement suggesting she will never resume the role.

3. Why did J.R. give John Ross a gun? After Bum handed Christopher the document about his mother, he gave John Ross (Josh Henderson) a box that contained J.R.’s gun. It came with this note:

“John Ross, if you’re reading this, it means I’m dead. And if I’m dead, that means Barnes is coming after you. You must crush him before he can win. I promised your Uncle Bobby that taking down Harris Ryland would be my masterpiece. I’d bet my last nickel Barnes will join forces with Ryland to destroy us. Use what I’ve given you to take from them what they want to take from us. When you’ve done that, Bobby will know what to do. And remember: You’re my son, tip to tail.”

Perhaps the most revealing thing about J.R.’s note isn’t his prediction that Cliff and Harris will join forces; it’s that J.R. wrote it in the first place. He knew his life was in danger, although this doesn’t necessarily rule out the theory that J.R. arranged his own death so it could be pinned on one of his enemies. If you buy that theory, you might think this is the gun that was used to kill J.R. But keep in mind: The coroner who examined J.R.’s body said he was killed with a “Saturday night special,” and that’s not the kind of gun John Ross received. On the other hand: Medical examiners on “Dallas” aren’t the most trustworthy people, are they?

4. Who is Lady X? When J.R.’s friend Carlos del Sol (Castulo Guerra) visited Southfork to update the Ewings on the investigation, he explained J.R. met a woman in a club near the hotel where he died. “Not your professional sort of lady, mind you, but there are witnesses to their assignation,” Carlos said. According to the policewoman who accompanied Carlos to the ranch, this mystery woman – let’s call her “Lady X” – asked J.R. to meet her near her workplace, which is how he wound up in the Hotel Colon. A witness saw someone follow J.R. to the hotel, but that person could not be found, the policewoman said.

So who is Lady X? Could she be one of the women I named as suspects earlier this week? Did she intentionally lead J.R. to the hotel, knowing he would be killed there? Did she pull the trigger herself? Does she really exist? Or did Carlos invent her because he’s involved in the killing and wanted to throw the Ewings off his trail?

5. What does Bobby know? Of course, despite what Carlos and the policewoman told the Ewings, we know J.R. was not the victim of a robbery. After Bum distributed J.R.’s “gifts” to John Ross and Christopher, he gave Bobby a sealed envelope. Bobby opened it, read the document it contained and walked out of the room, dismissing John Ross and Christopher’s plea for more information. “This is between my brother and me – for now,” Bobby said.

Outside the room, Bobby told Bum to “pay off whoever you have to pay off so that everybody still thinks J.R. was killed by a mugger. When the time comes, we’ll take care of this ourselves – as a family.” Bobby then walked into J.R.’s room, noticed the framed wedding photograph of J.R. and Sue Ellen, poured himself a glass of bourbon, sat on the bed and said: “I knew you’d have at least one more left up your sleeve, J.R.” He glanced at the document in his hand, half-smiled and continued: “It is a good one. I love you brother.”

So what did Bobby learn? During the “Dallas” cast’s panel discussion last week, Duffy revealed the show’s producers told him who shot J.R. so he would know how to play certain scenes, including this one. So whatever the document reveals, it holds a big clue to the identity of J.R.’s killer. I have my own theory, but for now, I’d rather hear yours. What do you think it says?

Who done it? Share your theories below and read more posts on Dallas Decoder’s “Who Killed J.R.?” page.

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‘Who Killed J.R.?’ Possible Suspects in ‘Dallas’s’ New Mystery

March 11, 2013 by 159 Comments
Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Who done it?

In “J.R.’s Masterpiece,” we learned Larry Hagman’s iconic character was shot and killed in a Mexican flophouse. The police investigation concluded J.R. was the victim of a burglary, but Bobby told Bum, his brother’s private eye, that J.R. was murdered. Who killed J.R.? Here are some potential suspects.

OLD ENEMIES

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Pre-emptive shot?

• Cliff Barnes. As J.R.’s oldest enemy, Cliff (Ken Kercheval) automatically earns a spot on this list, although I’m not sure why he’d want J.R. dead at this point. Cliff is now one of the world’s richest men. He has already beaten the Ewings: Cliff took away J.R.’s company at the end of the old show and recently helped his daughter Pamela seize 10 percent of the new Ewing Energies. Then again, maybe Cliff blames J.R. for the death of his adopted son Frank, who recently fell on his sword after betraying Cliff to J.R. Or could Cliff have killed J.R. to prevent him from rising again?

Dallas, Katherine Wentworth, Morgan Brittany, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Waiting to strike?

• Katherine Wentworth. There was no love lost between Katherine (Morgan Brittany), Cliff and Pam’s loony half-sister, and J.R. On the old show, she plotted with him to break up Pam’s marriage to Bobby, whom Katherine wanted for herself. When J.R. betrayed her, Katherine went off the deep end and shot Bobby, then tried to poison him before vanishing. (Pam also dreamed she ran over Bobby with her car, killing him.) Later, Katherine stalked Pam in the hospital after her car crash before resuming her life on the run. Could Katherine have been waiting all this time to spring a trap for her ex-partner-in-crime?

NEW NEMESES

Dallas, Harris Ryland, Mitch Pileggi, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Protecting secrets?

• Harris Ryland. J.R. ordered his private eye Bum to investigate Ryland (Mitch Pileggi), who has caused lots of problems for the Ewings, including blackmailing Sue Ellen. Could Ryland have gotten wind of Bum’s snooping and killed J.R. to prevent him from uncovering his misdeeds? Perhaps, although “Dallas” has been grooming Pileggi as its new villain so it seems unlikely he’ll turn out to be the killer. But what about Ryland’s overprotective mama Judith? She could be a suspect, although if she were going to kill someone, it would probably be a withering glance, not a gun.

Dallas, Mitch Lobell, Richard Dillard, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Disgruntled dad?

• Mitch Lobell. Lobell (Richard Dillard) was the Ewing family lawyer who helped John Ross and Veronica Martinez trick Bobby into selling Southfork to J.R. When Lobell got greedy and demanded millions of dollars in hush money, J.R. and John Ross blackmailed him with incriminating photos that could’ve sent his son Ricky, a recovering drug user, to jail. After J.R. seized control of the ranch, Lobell vanished without a trace. Has he been hiding in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to take his revenge against J.R.? Perhaps, but if he turned out to be the killer, would anyone remember him?

FRENEMY?

Carlos Del Sol, Castulo Guerra, Dallas, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Turncoat?

• Carlos del Sol. Carlos (Castulo Guerra) is a billionaire conservationist and one of J.R.’s old friends. When J.R. wanted to join Cliff’s high-stakes poker game in Las Vegas last season, Carlos agreed to front him the money. He’s also the father of the real Marta del Sol, whose identity was stolen by Veronica, the con artist who helped John Ross in his scheme to defraud Bobby. But isn’t it suspicious that Carlos turned up at the Mexican police station when the Ewings gathered there after J.R.’s murder? Even if he didn’t pull the trigger, something tells me Carlos knows more than he’s letting on.

WILD CARDS

Dallas, Pam Ewing, TNT, Victoria Principal

Dead?

• Pam Ewing. At the end of “J.R.’s Masterpiece,” Bum told Christopher that J.R. had been searching for his mother. The backstory: Pam (Victoria Principal) was disfigured in a fiery car crash and ran away from Southfork. Later, the audience learned she had a terminal illness and wanted to spare Bobby and Christopher the pain of having to watch her die. Suppose Pam went into remission and is still alive but, for whatever reason (shame?), doesn’t want to be found? Could she have killed J.R.? It’s extremely doubtful, especially since Pam was such a beloved heroine and Principal recently announced she won’t reprise the role.

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Alive?

• Kristin Shepard. Yes, she’s dead – but when has that ever stopped “Dallas”? Kristin (Mary Crosby) famously shot J.R. in 1980, only to later drown in the Southfork swimming pool. What if she somehow faked her death and went into hiding, waiting for the right moment to try another assassination attempt? Suppose J.R. found out Kristin was still alive and was on her trail? Bum told Christopher that J.R. had been tracking down his mother; what if he was referring to biological mama Kristin and not adopted mom Pam? This is my dream scenario; I don’t expect it to come true. But how cool would it be if it did?

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT, Who Killed J.R.?

Savior?

• J.R. Ewing. What if J.R. wasn’t murdered? What if his “masterpiece” plan was taking his own life so his death could be pinned on Harris, Cliff or one of his other enemies? I know it appeared someone off camera gunned down J.R. at the end of “The Furious and the Fast.” Could it have been Bum, acting on J.R.’s orders? I don’t love the idea of J.R. killing himself, but I do like the notion of him making a grand sacrifice to save the Ewings from some outside threat. This scenario would also solve the major dilemma with this plot: Who is “big” enough to take down J.R. Ewing – except for maybe J.R. himself?

Who done it? Share your theories below and read more posts on Dallas Decoder’s “Who Killed J.R.?” page.

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The Dal-List: Classic ‘Dallas’s’ 8 Most Moving Funerals

March 7, 2013 by 10 Comments
Dallas, Family Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Texas mourn

J.R. Ewing will be laid to rest in “J.R.’s Masterpiece,” a special “Dallas” episode that TNT will telecast on Monday, March 11. Raise a glass of bourbon (and don’t forget the branch!) as we recall the most moving funerals from the original series, as well as two Ewing funerals seen on its “Knots Landing” spinoff.

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, J.R. Returns, Larry Hagman

Surprise, surprise

8. J.R. Ewing. It’s easy to forget that J.R. (Larry Hagman) already had one funeral. In “J.R. Returns,” a 1996 “Dallas” reunion movie, he faked his death as part of a convoluted plot to wrest control of Ewing Oil from Cliff. The memorial service brought Bobby, Sue Ellen, John Ross and Christopher together at Southfork, along with Cliff, who announced, “I just came to make sure he was dead.” While John Ross (Omri Katz) was eulogizing his father, J.R. himself arrived – on the back of a truck hauling pigs, no less. “Hey, what’s going on? Bobby throwing a party?” he asked. It was silly, but what I wouldn’t give to have J.R. turn up as a surprise guest in “J.R.’s Masterpiece.”

Chris Weatherhead, Dallas, Fathers and Sons and Fathers and Son, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Meg Callahan

Black cat down

7. Blackie Callahan. Blackie who? As “Dallas” neared the end of its run, the producers cast Denver Pyle as Blackie, an aging wildcatter who helped J.R. find oil in the town where Jock had his first strike. In the 1991 episode “Fathers and Sons and Fathers and Sons,” one of “Dallas’s” final hours, J.R. attended Blackie’s funeral, where his daughter Meg (Chris Weatherhead) realized J.R. had been paying Blackie royalties out of his own pocket. The scene was surprisingly touching, not just because it showcased J.R.’s softer side, but also because of Meg’s poignant dialogue: “I guess that’s what life’s all about. The young taking over from the old, shaping things their way.” How prophetic.

Abby Ewing, Dallas, Donna Mills, Knots Landing, Finishing Touches

Black widow

6. Gary Ewing. “Knots Landing” fans were stunned when Gary (Ted Shackelford) was suddenly murdered in 1984. Everyone on the cul-de-sac turned out for his funeral, which was seen at the end of the episode “Finishing Touches.” The sad affair brought out the best in everyone – except for Gary’s widow Abby (Donna Mills), who refused to make peace with his ex-wife Valene. As the minister read from Ecclesiastes, a lone guitarist strummed in the background and we saw Gary’s friends and neighbors mourning him quietly. Then the camera cut to … Gary, seated in what looked like a police station. It turned out he was alive and in a witness protection program. Thank goodness Miss Ellie never heard about any of this!

Dallas, Gary Ewing, Knots Landing, Love and Death, Ted Shackelford

Bachelor father

5. Valene Ewing. When Joan Van Ark left “Knots Landing” in 1992, the producers “killed off” Valene in a fiery car crash. CBS had slashed the show’s budget, so no departed stars came back for her funeral, which was seen in the episode “Love and Death.” But two important figures in Val’s were mentioned, at least: Lilimae was said to be not up for the trip, while Lucy was traveling in Europe and couldn’t be reached. At the memorial service, Val’s best friend Karen MacKenzie eulogized her as “the little engine that could.” It proved too much for Gary and Val’s little girl Betsy, who ran away in tears. She missed her mommy, but she was probably also afraid Karen was going to break into her “Pollyanna” speech.

Bobby Ewing, Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Jock's Trial Part 2, Ken Kercheval, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal

Digger departed

4. Digger Barnes. Poor, old Digger. After a life of hard livin’, Keenan Wynn’s tragic character was laid to rest in the last scene of the 1980 episode “Jock’s Trial, Part 2.” It was a fittingly humble affair. When the minister asked Digger’s sister Maggie if she’d like him to say anything special, she wearily responded, “No, please. Just the 23rd Psalm. It’s all he’d have had patience for.” The funeral was difficult for Pam (Victoria Principal), who had just discovered that Digger wasn’t her “real” daddy, and Cliff (Ken Kercheval), who slowly walked away from the gravesite before the final freeze frame. Maybe Cliff was sad – or maybe he was just ticked that so many Ewings showed up.

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Katherine Wentworth, Morgan Brittany, Pam Ewing, Patrick Duffy, Requiem, Victoria Principal

Fit for a queen

3. Rebecca Wentworth. Priscilla Pointer’s grande dame received a grand sendoff in “Requiem,” a 1983 episode directed by Hagman. He memorably showed three black limos arriving at the cemetery and allowed us to watch as the Barneses and Ewings exited the cars, one by one. In true “Dallas” style, Pam was accompanied by Bobby (Patrick Duffy) and half-sister Katherine (Morgan Brittany), who was secretly plotting to steal him for herself. The crowd also included a slew of recurring characters – including Punk and Mavis Anderson and Marilee Stone – and a throng of paparazzi. It felt like the kind of funeral that a Texas society matron would receive – but what was up with all those palm trees in the background?

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy, Tunnel of Love

Cry Bobby

2. April Ewing. When Bobby’s wife April (Sheree J. Wilson) was killed during their Parisian honeymoon, he buried her in the City of Lights. This always struck me as odd. Shouldn’t April have been laid to rest in Dallas or maybe Ohio, where she grew up? On the other hand, you can’t deny that the funeral, seen in the 1990 episode “Tunnel of Love,” is as sad as April’s death. Bobby is the only mourner there, although young cyclist Mark Harris (played by Duffy’s son Padraic and named for his “Man From Atlantis” character), who tried to help Bobby rescue April, watches from the distance. The fact that priest conducts the service in French reinforces the sense of isolation. Never before has our hero seemed so alone.

Dallas, Family Ewing, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Good grief

1. Bobby Ewing. Bobby’s burial in 1985’s “The Family Ewing” is exquisite. Everything feels right: It’s a fairly intimate gathering in a lush Southfork pasture, attended by the Ewings, the Barneses and close associates like Harv Smithfield. Even the wardrobe is perfect, right down to Pam’s Jackie Kennedy-esque pillbox hat. Director Nick Havinga allows us to hear the minister deliver the 23rd Psalm under Jerrold Immel’s solemn score, and then after the family disperses, we’re left with J.R. delivering his memorable speech at Bobby’s gravesite. “I wish I’d take the time to tell you how much I love you,” he says with wet eyes. Does it matter that this scene turned out to be part of Pam’s dream? Yes, but only a little.

What “Dallas” funerals moved you most? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

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Drill Bits: ‘Dallas’ Adds More Viewers in Week 6

March 6, 2013 by 4 Comments
Ann Ewing, Bobby Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, Elena Ramos, Gary Ewing, Jordana Brewster, Patrick Duffy, Ted Shackelford, TNT

Ewing watch

TNT scored 2.8 million viewers with its most recent “Dallas” episode, “The Furious and the Fast.” The audience for the March 4 telecast included about 890,000 viewers between ages 18 and 49, the demographic that advertisers pay top dollar to reach.

This is the fourth week in a row that “Dallas’s” audience has grown. It’s also the closest the show has come to matching the 2.9 million viewers that its two-hour second-season premiere attracted on January 28.

“Dallas” continues to get a boost from DVR users too. The previous episode, “Blame Game,” drew almost 2.6 million viewers on February 25, but by the middle of last week, DVR users had pushed the audience to 3.4 million. The haul included 1.2 million viewers between the ages of 18 and 49, a 10 percent increase from the previous DVR-fueled audience, and 1.5 million viewers between ages 25 and 54, a 15 percent increase.

TNT’s next “Dallas” episode, the star-studded “J.R.’s Masterpiece,” will be telecast Monday, March 11. The show’s competition will be mixed: CBS’s popular sitcoms “2 Broke Girls” and “Mike & Molly” are slated to be in reruns that night, while ABC’s “The Bachelor” will offer its season finale. Fox’s “The Following” and NBC’s “The Biggest Loser” will have fresh episodes too.

Larry Hagman Day

Speaking of J.R.’s masterpiece: Mike Rawlings, the real-life mayor of Dallas, has declared March 11 as Larry Hagman Day. Sounds good to me, although every day tends to be Larry Hagman Day in my world.

A Matter of Principal

In cast you missed it: Victoria Principal has dismissed the idea of playing Pam Ewing again. In a statement last week to Deadline, a Hollywood news site, Principal said she wishes to leave Bobby and Pam’s tragic love story “undisturbed and intact.” She added: “I made this decision a long time ago with a loving and respectful heart for ‘Dallas,’ Bobby & Pam and all faithful fans.”

What, No Prune Juice?

The latest addition to my husband Andrew’s “Dallas Drinks” collection: The Judith, a cocktail he created to honor Judith Light’s indomitable character, Judith Brown Ryland. The recipe calls for bitters and a tart lemon twist. How appropriate!

“Drill Bits,” a roundup of news about TNT’s “Dallas,” is published regularly. Share your comments below.

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Critique: TNT’s ‘Dallas’ Episode 16 – ‘Blame Game’

February 28, 2013 by 35 Comments
Blame Game, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, TNT

Once and again

I cringed when I saw J.R. and Bobby’s instant-messaging exchange in “Blame Game.” This episode was filmed after Larry Hagman’s death last fall, so I’m guessing the producers created the sequence using leftover footage of the actor. (J.R.’s presence during Ann’s sentencing appears to be recycled too.) I’m all for rescuing Hagman from the cutting room floor, but having J.R. send IMs to pester Bobby into watching an online video of a basketball-playing dog? That felt silly. It also reminded me of how the old show used one-sided telephone conversations to keep Jock around after Jim Davis died, which is one “Dallas” tradition I’d just as soon not continue.

By the end of “Blame Game,” though, I had a change of heart. I’m not sure why the show had Patrick Duffy shout Bobby’s responses to J.R.’s instant messages (even if J.R. was supposed to be down the hall, couldn’t Bobby have typed his answers?), but the revelation that the viral video was really a Trojan horse to erase Bobby’s notorious cloud drive was pretty nifty. J.R. pulled a fast one on Bobby, and “Dallas” pulled a fast one on its audience. I always fall for this show’s fake-outs, which either means I’m really gullible or the people who make the show are really clever. I’ll let you decide.

Overall, “Blame Game” is another solid hour of “Dallas.” The script comes from Gail Gilchriest, who also wrote last season’s “The Enemy of My Enemy,” the episode that brought Sue Ellen off the sidelines and got her involved in the Southfork oil saga. In “Blame Game,” Gilchriest once again demonstrates a knack for writing for “Dallas’s” first lady, giving Linda Gray some of her best material yet. I love the scene where Sue Ellen and Bobby lament the rivalry between their sons, as well the jailhouse pep talk Sue Ellen gives Ann. The friendship between these women has become one of my favorite relationships on the show. It feels believable, especially now that we know that Ann, like Sue Ellen, was once a less-than-perfect wife and mother. (As far as Ann’s release on probation: Yes, it’s a little convenient, but when has a Ewing ever gone to jail and stayed?)

I wish Sue Ellen hadn’t been so easily manipulated by John Ross into seizing Elena’s share of Ewing Energies, but I don’t really mind because it’s so much fun to see the return of the shrewd, bitchy Sue Ellen from the late ’80s. With J.R. exiting the stage, Sue Ellen is now poised to succeed him as John Ross’s mentor and the thorn in Bobby’s side. What a tantalizing prospect. Hopefully this will cement Gray’s place in the narrative for a long time to come. Likewise, I’m thrilled to see Pamela finally snag her piece of the company. Think about how entertaining the Ewing Energies’ board meetings will be once Sue Ellen and Pamela join the fray.

“Blame Game’s” other V.I.P.: Jesse Metcalfe, who has quietly become one of the new “Dallas’s” best performers. The actor has found the right balance between strength and sensitivity, much like Duffy did during the original series. I also like how Christopher has succeeded Bobby as “Dallas’s” resident action hero. In “Blame Game,” Christopher makes a valiant attempt to turn the tables on the thug holding him at gunpoint at Ewing Energies. Later, he shields Elena when Vicente points his gun at her. Jesse Bochco does a nice job directing both sequences, and he gets a big assist from “Dallas” composer Rob Cairns, whose score during the showdown with Vicente feels even more cinematic than usual.

It’s also nice to see Kuno Becker’s Drew Ramos take down Vicente, although the body count on this show is beginning to trouble me. During the past 10 hours of “Dallas,” Marta, Tommy, Frank and Vicente have died; Harris was gunned down but survived. On a lighter note, since Becker arrived a few episodes ago, I find myself looking forward each week to his scenes with Jordana Brewster. Drew brings out Elena’s feistiness in a way only a sibling could. Do I dare suggest these two are “Dallas’s” best brother/sister act since Victoria Principal and Ken Kercheval?

The rest of the “Blame Game” hostage crisis yields mixed feelings. In addition to the Sue Ellen/Bobby scene, I like the moment when Vicente realizes the Ewing cousins have traded romantic partners since his last encounter with them. (“You Ewing boys share after all! I love it!”) Likewise, it’s impossible to not cheer when John Ross and Christopher come together to overpower Vicente’s henchmen. As much fun as it is to see the Ewings squabble, it’s always more satisfying when they band together.

My gripes: The hostage sequences are too compressed. “Blame Game” invites comparisons to the classic “Winds of Vengeance,” an early “Dallas” episode where the Ewings are held hostage. (Fans of “Dallas” producer Cynthia Cidre’s previous series, “Cane,” will recall that show did a family-held-hostage episode too.) But the reason “Winds of Vengeance” succeeds is because the slower pace of 1970s television allowed the tension to build steadily. “Blame Game” squeezes its crisis into a roughly 15-minute period, and some of that time is taken up by Ann’s sentencing.

This is also one of those times I wish the new “Dallas’s” Southfork interiors more closely resembled those seen on the old show. The living room where the Ewings are held captive in “Blame Game” looks nothing like the one where the “Winds of Vengeance” hostage crisis unfolds. The only time you feel the history of this house is when you see it from the outside.

Of course, it’s not like I haven’t become attached to the new Southfork set too. The “Blame Game” scene where Bobby bursts into J.R.’s bedroom and finds it empty is surprisingly poignant. The brief glimpse of J.R.’s empty table is what moves me. This is where our hero glanced at Miss Ellie’s picture before signing over the Southfork deed to Bobby last season. It’s where he told John Ross to never take advantage of the family when they’re in the trouble, and where he learned to use his tablet. How sad to think we’ll never see him sit there again.

Grade: B

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blame Game, Christopher Ewing, Dallas, Jesse Metcalfe, TNT

Captive audience

‘BLAME GAME’

Season 2, Episode 6

Telecast: February 25, 2013

Writer: Gail Gilchriest

Director: Jesse Bochco

Audience: 2.6 million viewers on February 25

Synopsis: During mediation, Christopher agrees to give 10 percent of Ewing Energies to Pamela, who refuses to share it with John Ross. J.R. erases Bobby’s cloud drive and leaves Southfork unannounced. When Vicente stages an ambush on Southfork and tries to kidnap Elena, Drew shoots and kills him. Sue Ellen uses the morals clause in Elena’s contract to seize her shares in the company.

Cast: Kuno Becker (Drew Ramos), Emma Bell (Emma Brown), Carlos Bernard (Vicente Cano), Pablo Bracho (consul general), Jordana Brewster (Elena Ramos), Jesse Campos (Jose), Vanessa Cedotal (District Attorney), Damon Dayoub (Vicente’s henchman), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Julie Gonzalo (Pamela Barnes), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Josh Henderson (John Ross Ewing), Jason Kravitz (Pamela’s lawyer), Judith Light (Judith Ryland), Jesse Metcalfe (Christopher Ewing), Glenn Morshower (Lou Bergen), Mitch Pileggi (Harris Ryland), Freddie Poole (Ramon), Krishna Smitha (Shireen Patel), Brenda Strong (Ann Ewing), Rebekah Turner (Jury Forman), Wilbur Fitzgerald (Judge Wallace Tate)

“Blame Game” is available at DallasTNT.com, Amazon.com and iTunes. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

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The Dal-List: Classic ‘Dallas’s’ 10 Most Memorable Monologues

February 25, 2013 by 10 Comments
Ann Ewing, Brenda Strong, Dallas, TNT, Trial and Error

Testify!

Few will forget the courtroom testimony that Ann (Brenda Strong) delivered at the end of “Trial and Error,” last week’s “Dallas” episode. Here’s a look at the Barneses’ and Ewings’ 10 most memorable monologues from the original series and its “Knots Landing” spinoff.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

Curses!

10. Miss Ellie’s lament. With the Ewing empire on the brink of collapse, Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes) goes to the site of Jock’s first strike and curses his memory. “Damn it all, Jock. You couldn’t have been an insurance salesman. Or a shoe salesman. No, you had to have oil in your blood. In your heart. And now … our sons are fighting for their lives.” It’s one of the better moments from one of the show’s better later episodes. (“Judgment Day”)

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

She remembers mama

9. Pam’s discovery. Pam (Victoria Principal), believing Rebecca Wentworth is her long-lost mother, confronts the Houston matron in her opulent home. “I found you. You’re alive. And I’m so happy. I don’t know how to tell you how happy I am,” she says through tears. With every line, Principal seems to reveal a little more of herself, so much so that by the end of the speech, her lip quivers uncontrollably. Bravo. (“The Prodigal Mother”)

Dallas, Priscilla Pointer, Rebecca Barnes Wentworth

Runaway mom

8. Rebecca’s confession. After denying her identity, Rebecca (Priscilla Pointer) sits with Pam on a park bench and tells her the truth: She is, in fact, Pam’s mother. “I never divorced Digger,” Rebecca says as her voice begins to crack. “I was afraid that if I tried, he’d find me, and drag me back to that awful life. Pamela, I saw a chance for happiness, and I took it. Don’t blame me for that.” Pointer’s delivery is hauntingly beautiful. (“The Prodigal Mother”)

Dallas, Gary Ewing, Knots Landing, Ted Shackelford

No beach bum

7. Gary’s mea culpa. Gary (Ted Shackelford) begs Lucy to stay in Knots Landing and apologizes for his past sins, telling her he’s trying hard to be a better man. “I’m not a loser anymore,” Gary says. At one point, he becomes tongue-tied, as if he can’t find the words to convey his guilt and regret. In the DVD commentary, Shackelford laughs and suggests he paused because he couldn’t remember his next line. No matter. It still works. (“Home is For Healing”)

Dallas, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing

Bye bye, love

6. Sue Ellen’s kiss-off. In Linda Gray’s “Dallas” departure, Sue Ellen shows J.R. the scandalous movie she’s made about their marriage – and vows to screen it for the public only if he misbehaves. “If I feel that you’re not doing right by John Ross … or if I get up on the wrong side of the bed one morning. Or if I’m simply bored – then I’ll release the movie. And then, J.R., you will be the laughingstock of Texas.” Corny? Sure, but also mighty triumphant – and darn memorable. (“Reel Life”)

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Ken Kercheval

Never too late

5. Cliff’s regret. My favorite Ken Kercheval scene: Cliff summons Miss Ellie to a park and apologizes for perpetuating his father’s grudge against the Ewings. “Digger was wrong, and I was wrong. If it’s not too late. I’d like to make peace. I’d like to ask you to forgive me,” Cliff says. In an interview with Dallas Decoder, Kercheval fondly recalled his friendship with Bel Geddes. What a shame these two pros didn’t get more screen time together. (“Brother Can You Spare a Child?”)

Dallas, Jim Davis, Jock Ewing

American dad

4. Jock’s plea. After Pam suffered her first heartbreaking miscarriage, Jock (Jim Davis) sat at her bedside and begged her and Bobby not to leave Southfork. “Us Ewings, we’re just not an easy family to live with, as you found out. We’ve had things our way for so long that maybe – well, maybe it got in the way of our being just people. I guess that you don’t have no reason to really care, but I want to keep my family together.” Who knew the old man could be so soft? (“Barbecue”)

Dallas, Ray Krebbs, Steve Kanaly

He knows father best

3. Ray’s tribute. Ray (Steve Kanaly) tries to make Miss Ellie accept Jock’s death by reminding her of his humanity. “He was a man, just like anybody else. He had friends. He had lots of friends. But he had enemies, too. He was human, ambitious. He knew that the oil game was rough, hardball all the way. But he wanted what was best for his wife, and for his sons. And he did what he thought was right.” The most honest eulogy Jock ever received. (“Acceptance”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Honor thy daddy

2. J.R.’s promise. J.R. (Larry Hagman), after slipping into a depression over Jock’s death, addresses a portrait of his father. “I’m back, Daddy. And nobody’s going to take Ewing Oil away from me. Or my son, or his son. I swear to you. By God, I’m going to make you proud of me.” The combination of Hagman’s conviction, scriptwriter David Paulsen’s dialogue and Bruce Broughton’s rousing score never fails to give me chills. (“The Phoenix”)

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, Patrick Duffy

Exit the hero

1. Bobby’s goodbye. As Bobby (Patrick Duffy) lay dying in his hospital bed, he bids his family farewell. To Miss Ellie: “Oh, Mama. I’m sorry.” To Pam: “All that wasted time. We should’ve been married.” He seems to be looking at J.R. when he delivers his last words: “Be a family. I love you so much.” Duffy has never been better, and when the monitor flatlines and Principal leaps? Fuhgeddaboudit! Yes, the scene’s emotional impact is diminished somewhat by the fact it turned out to be a dream. Still, does “Dallas” get better than this? (“Swan Song”)

Which “Dallas” monologues moved you most? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

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The Dallas Decoder Guide to Barnes/Ewing Romances

February 4, 2013 by 13 Comments
Sexy

Sexy

John Ross and Pamela (Josh Henderson, Julie Gonzalo) are steaming up the screen on TNT’s “Dallas” this season. Everyone knows this isn’t the first time a Barnes and a Ewing have got involved with each other. But did you realize it’s also not the second, third or even fourth time it’s happened? Here’s a look at other Barnes/Ewing romances.

 

Star-crossed

Star-crossed

BOBBY AND PAM

The Barnes: Pam (Victoria Principal), a scrappy working-class gal

The Ewing: Bobby (Patrick Duffy), playboy scion of a mega-rich oil-and-cattle clan

Met cute? Of course. When Pam was a child, her Aunt Maggie brought her to the Ewing barbecue, where pig-tailed Pam flirted with little Bobby (“Dallas: The Early Years”). When Pam and Bobby grew up, they had a whirlwind romance before their spur-of-the-moment wedding in New Orleans.

Their obstacles: How much time you got? Bobby and Pam dealt with career struggles, a kidnapping, old flames, a tabloid scandal, a messy adoption, a forged “Dear John” letter, a divorce, a remarriage, a 31-hour dream and a horrifying car crash. Of course, the biggest obstacle of all was J.R., who made breaking up the couple his life’s work.

Happily ever after? You do watch this show, right?

 

Scandalous

Scandalous

CLIFF AND SUE ELLEN

The Barnes: Cliff (Kercheval), an ambitious politician eager expose J.R.’s corruption

The Ewing: Sue Ellen (Linda Gray), J.R.’s neglected wife

Met cute? Sorta. Cliff and Sue Ellen were introduced by his friend Buzz Connors, who also happened to be the lawyer she hired to help her adopt a black market baby. (Don’t ask). Upon meeting Cliff, Sue Ellen told him, “You’re much more attractive than your reputation.” His response: “You’re far too pretty to be a Ewing.”

Their obstacles: Sue Ellen and Cliff became lovers, and she was ready to leave J.R. to be with him. But when Cliff realized their affair could ruin his political career, he dumped her.

Happily ever after? Nope. After Sue Ellen divorced J.R., she had another fling with Cliff, but the second go-round turned out no better than the first.

 

Sentimental

Sentimental

DIGGER AND MISS ELLIE

The Barnes: Digger (Keenan Wynn), washed-up wildcatter

The Ewing: Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes), the beloved Ewing matriarch

Met cute? Perhaps. We never saw Digger and Ellie meet, but their backstory is the stuff of legend. Digger’s daddy worked for Ellie’s father, who owned the Southfork ranch. Digger and Ellie grew up on the ranch as sweethearts – until dashing Jock arrived and swept her off her feet.

Their obstacles: Bobby and Pam’s marriage brought Digger and Ellie back into each other’s lives. While Ellie was recovering from breast cancer, she drifted apart from Jock and sought comfort from Digger, who still carried a torch for her. Digger offered to whisk Ellie away, but she turned him down when she realized she still loved Jock.

Happily ever after? Hardly. Not long after Ellie and Jock reconciled, Digger drank himself to death.

 

Suspect

Suspect

CLIFF AND JAMIE

The Barnes: Cliff, revenge-obsessed-politician-turned-revenge-obsessed-oil-executive

The Ewing: Jamie (Jenilee Harrison), a long-lost Ewing cousin

Met cute? Not really. Cliff stalked Jamie on the sidewalk, which is how he seemed to meet a lot of women.

Their obstacles: After Jamie turned up at Southfork and claimed she was owed a piece of Ewing Oil, cunning Cliff pretended to fall in love with her so he could get his hands on her share of the company. Cliff and Jamie had a quickie wedding, only to lose their court battle against the Ewings a few episodes later.

Happily ever after? Kind of, for Cliff at least. When Cliff cheated on Jamie, she left him and was killed in a rock climbing accident. Through a complicated turn of events, this meant he somehow ended up inheriting a piece of Ewing Oil anyway.

 

Jimmy who?!

Jimmy who?!

JIMMY AND LUCY

The Barnes: Jimmy Monahan (James Canning, then Philip Levien), Cliff and Pam’s cousin; technically not a Barnes, but darn close

The Ewing: Lucy (Charlene Tilton), Jock and Ellie’s spunky granddaughter

Met cute? Yes. Pam wanted to fix up Jimmy with Lucy, but she knew her rebellious niece would never go for it. Instead, savvy Pam suggested Jimmy attend the Ewing Barbecue and act like he wasn’t interested in Lucy. It worked like a charm.

Their obstacles: Uncle Digger. Just when it looked like Jimmy was about to get lucky with Lucy in the hayloft, Digger got drunk – which meant Jimmy had to drive him home.

Happily ever after? Only as friends. After the barbecue, Jimmy helped Lucy sneak around so she could see her estranged mama Valene. He was never heard from again.

What are your favorite Barnes/Ewing romances? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Decoder Guides.”

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The Dal-List: 10 Classic Clashes Between J.R. and Pam

February 1, 2013 by 14 Comments
Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Julie Gonzalo, Larry Hagman, Pamela Rebecca Barnes Ewing, TNT, Venomous Creatures

2 for 2?

The confrontation between J.R. and Pamela (Larry Hagman, Julie Gonzalo) in “Venomous Creatures,” one of this week’s new “Dallas” episodes on TNT, was an instant classic. The scene demonstrated how Gonzalo can hold her own against the legendary Hagman, but it also evoked memories of J.R.’s showdowns with the original Pam (Victoria Principal). Here’s a look at some of those moments.

Dallas, Digger's Daughter, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Fight or flight

10. Let the games begin. J.R. and Pam’s first fracas set the stage for all the fights that followed. On the day she arrived at Southfork, he gave her a friendly tour of the ranch – then offered her a bribe to leave: “I’m willing to spend some money now to avoid any inconvenience. But if you insist upon being driven away – which you surely will be – you’re going to come out of this without anything, honey.” Pam ignored J.R.’s offer, but maybe she should’ve taken the money and run. Think of all the pain she would’ve been spared! (“Digger’s Daughter”)

Dallas, Barbecue, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Fall gal

9. Legend of the fall. J.R. and Pam’s most controversial encounter: During her first Ewing barbecue, pregnant Pam retreated to a Southfork hayloft for some much-deserved alone time. Suddenly, a drunken J.R. showed up, crawled (slithered?) toward her and apologized for “going too far” during her early weeks at Southfork. While trying to get away from him, Pam slipped, fell and lost her baby. Some fans remember J.R. pushing Pam, but when you watch this scene, it’s pretty clearly an accident. J.R. was bad, but he wasn’t evil. (“Barbecue”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Love and Marriage, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Stud or dud?

8. Stud finder? If there was sexual tension between J.R. and Pam, it was strictly one-sided. When he suggested her demanding job at The Store might prompt lonely Bobby to reclaim his reputation as Dallas’s top stud, Pam declared that Bobby “isn’t standing at stud anymore. … He left the field wide open for you. Of course, from what I hear, that still leaves the field wide open.” J.R.: “Anytime you want to find out, it can be easily arranged.” Pam: “Don’t bother, J.R. Even if I weren’t married to Bobby, you aren’t man enough.” OK then! (“Love and Marriage”)

Dallas, Pam Ewing, Quandary, Victoria Principal

Bag it, J.R.

7. Tea for one. When Bobby “died,” Pam joined Ewing Oil as J.R.’s new partner, bringing the animosity between them to new heights. Within minutes of her first day on the job, J.R. minced no words letting Pam know how he felt about her new career: “I don’t want you in my sight, much less my offices!” Pam didn’t miss a beat. She ignored J.R.’s huffing and puffing, buzzed her secretary Phyllis on the intercom and ordered “a cup of tea – a cup of herbal tea.” Pam then turned to J.R. and asked if he wanted anything. He didn’t. (“Quandary”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Nothing's Ever Perfect

Dream on, Pam

6. Truce? In your dreams. After spending months fighting with J.R. at Ewing Oil, Pam decided their war wasn’t worth it and sold him the share of the company she controlled. After signing the papers, Pam told him, “It’s all yours, J.R. I hope this does mean that we can all live in peace now.” His response: “We’ve got nothing to fight about anymore.” Ha! This scene aired six months before Bobby stepped out of Pam’s shower. Looking back, the moment J.R. and Pam made nice should’ve been the first clue our heroine was dreaming. (“Nothing’s Ever Perfect”)

Dallas, Fallen Idol, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Hold the butter

5. Dining with the devil. For purely selfish reasons, J.R. didn’t want Bobby doing business with shady college chum Guzzler Bennett, so J.R. invited Pam to lunch to enlist her help in stopping Bobby and Guzzler’s project. When Pam wondered how she might persuade Bobby to call off the deal, J.R. told her, “You’re a very clever woman, Pam. You’ll think of something.” I also love her cutting response to his attempt to butter her up at the start of the scene: “J.R., please don’t make me lose this good food.” (“Fallen Idol”)

Dallas, Ewing Inferno, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Sting like a bee

4. Slap! J.R. and Pam’s fights almost never turned physical. Emphasis on “almost.” While Pam waited alone for Bobby inside his office one day, J.R. popped in to say hello. She wasn’t in the mood for his insincerities. “Save that nonsense for somebody who doesn’t know you,” she said, then chastised him for his latest extramarital fling. “Climb down off your soapbox, honey,” J.R. responded before accusing her of sleeping around. Before all was said and done, Pam had stomped away, leaving J.R. with a big red mark on his cheek. (“Ewing Inferno”)

Dallas, If At First You Don't Succeed, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman

Change of tune

3. Get your feud on. When Cliff was arrested for Bobby’s shooting, Pam accused J.R. of framing her brother. Cue J.R.’s eye-roll: “I’m getting kind of tired of that old song. Mean, nasty J.R. beating up on poor, innocent Cliff Barnes.” Pam’s response: “I’ve never believed in the Barnes/Ewing feud, J.R., but now I’m going to join it. I’m going to do everything I can to help Cliff – and I’m not going to rest until all our family scores are settled!” Something tells me Pam’s namesake niece would be proud of auntie here. (“If at First You Don’t Succeed”)

Dallas, Legacy of Hate, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Babble on, honey

2. True lies. Just to mess with her, J.R. sent Pam on a wild goose chase to the Caribbean to find her presumed dead lover Mark Graison. When she found out, she stormed into J.R.’s office and demanded an explanation. J.R. played dumb. “You’re babbling like a lunatic,” he said, adding: “I never liked you a hell of a lot, you know that, Pam? But I never thought you were stupid until now.” Principal is fantastic here – and so is Hagman. Pam knows J.R.’s lying. The audience knows he’s lying too. Yet somehow, we kinda believe him. (“Legacy of Hate”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Long Goodbye, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Choose or lose

1. The choice. J.R. rejoiced when Pam left Bobby, but when he found out she was thinking about reconciling with him, J.R. knew he needed to act fast. He showed up on Pam’s doorstep and tried to persuade her that a divorce was in her best interest. “How nice! You’re concerned about my happiness,” she said, sarcasm dripping from every word. J.R.’s matter-of-fact response: “Oh, no. I don’t give a damn about you or your happiness, honey. But I do care about what’s good for me.” As Pam stood with her back to him, J.R. circled her, explaining she had two options: divorce Bobby and bring the Barnes/Ewing feud to an end, or return to him and watch as “all hell [breaks] loose.” Hagman is downright chilling, and as Pam, Principal looks visibly shaken. We can sympathize; in this scene, J.R. scares us too! (“The Long Goodbye”)

What do you think are J.R. and Pam’s best confrontations? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

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Drill Bits: ‘Dallas’ Returns, But Some Viewers Don’t

January 30, 2013 by 23 Comments
Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Sue Ellen Ewing, TNT, Venomous Creatures

He showed up. Did you?

Mondays are a bitch: “Dallas” opened its second season in its new Monday time slot this week – and a lot of fans didn’t show up.

The two-hour premiere drew 2.98 million viewers on January 28. As the Hollywood Reporter pointed out, the numbers were down 58 percent from the series debut last summer and 32 percent from the first-season finale. Ouch.

There could be a couple of explanations for the decline. TNT showed “Dallas’s” first season during the summertime, when the competition on other channels tends to be lighter. This week’s premiere – which actually consisted of two one-hour episodes, “Battle Lines” and “Venomous Creatures,” that were telecast back-to-back – faced fresh episodes of “The Biggest Loser” and “The Bachelor” on the broadcast networks.

Also worth noting: “Dallas” was a hit with DVR users last year. The series averaged 4.2 million viewers on Wednesday nights, but once people who recorded the show and watched later were counted, “Dallas’s” weekly haul surged to 6.1 million viewers. Perhaps ratings for the second-season premiere will get a big boost once DVR users are included?

And don’t forget: “Dallas” has a history of bouncing back from ratings dips. Back in 1978, CBS moved the original “Dallas” to Saturday nights for its second season. ABC’s “Fantasy Island” crushed the show, prompting CBS to restore it to its original Sunday berth before shifting it to Fridays, where it remained for the rest of its run.

Say You Want a Resolution?

It’s no secret “Dallas’s” longtime fans are clamoring for the return of Pam, the classic show’s heroine, immortalized by Victoria Principal. And if fans can’t have Pam, they at least want to know what happened to the character, who fled Southfork in 1987.

We may soon get our wish.

Check out this tantalizing exchange from Jesse Metcalfe’s recent conference call with reporters and bloggers:

Reporter: Will we learn any more this season about what happened with Pam in the last 20 years, where she’s been and what happened with her and Christopher?

Metcalfe: Yes. Yes we will. Unfortunately I can’t tell you much more than that. I’m sorry.

OK, fellow Pam fans. Start salivating.

Dress Like ‘Dallas’

If you love the styles worn by the women of Southfork, you’re in luck: HSN has opened an online Dallas boutique featuring clothing and accessories inspired by Sue Ellen (Linda Gray), Ann (Brenda Strong), Elena (Jordana Brewster) and Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo). The show’s ace costume designer, Rachel Sage Kunin, selected the products in the collection.

Sorry, fellas. If you want to dress like John Ross or Christopher, you’re on your own.

“Drill Bits,” a roundup of news about TNT’s “Dallas,” is published regularly. Share your comments below.

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