Joan Van Ark – Dallas Decoder

The Dallas Decoder Guide to Surviving a Hostage Crisis

February 25, 2013 by Chris Baker 7 Comments

Blame Game, Dallas, Drew Ramos, Kuno Becker, TNT

Drew to the rescue

In “Blame Game,” TNT’s latest “Dallas” episode, Vicente Cano ambushes Southfork and holds the Ewings captive. Dumb move, Vicente. These people are experts at surviving hostage crises, as they demonstrated time and again on the original “Dallas” and its “Knots Landing” spinoff. Let them show you how.

Charlene Tilton, Cooper Huckabee, Dallas, Lucy Ewing, Payton Allen

Light her fire

Beware of cute boys with shaggy hair. The best way to survive hostage crises is to avoid them altogether – a lesson Lucy (Charlene Tilton) learned the hard way. When Payton Allen (Cooper Huckabee) showed up at Southfork one windy afternoon, she flirted with him shamelessly – until he took her whole family hostage. Eight episodes later, when Lucy saw Willie Gust at a roadside diner, she gave him a coquettish glance. His response: taking her hostage as he traversed Texas in his far-out custom van, waging a one-man crime spree.

Brian Dennehy, Dallas, Greg Evigan, Luther Frick, Willie Gust

Bear and B.J.

Don’t get star-struck. Once you find yourself in a hostage situation, you may notice that at least one of your captors looks familiar. In the Ewings’ cases, Willie (Greg Evigan) bore a striking resemblance to that one guy who used to ride around in a semi-truck with a monkey (or that one guy who raised a daughter with Paul Reiser), while Luther Frick (Brian Dennehy), Payton’s partner in crime, looked an awful lot like that one guy who’s been in everything. Don’t let this cause you to lower your defenses. Remember: These are bad men!

Dallas, Ginger Ward, Joan Van Ark, Karen Fairgate, Kim Lankford, Knots Landing, Michele Lee, Valene Ewing

Please, Karen. Not again.

Stay calm. Don’t let this picture mislead you. When Val (Joan Van Ark) threw a baby shower for her Seaview Circle neighbor Ginger (Kim Lankford) and armed robbers burst in and took everyone hostage, the ladies remained admirably restrained. The only reason they look panicked here is because Karen (Michele Lee) was threatening to recite her famous “Pollyanna speech” for the umpteenth time. Kidding! We love you, Karen. And you’re right: Nice should be the norm. If only the hostage-takers of the world felt that way!

Dallas, Linda Gray, Peter Ellington, Philip Anglim, Sue Ellen Ewing

Hurt her and you’ll answer to us

Keep your priorities straight. J.R. was hashing out a big oil deal with Bobby, Ray and Carter McKay when he discovered McKay’s nutty protégé Peter Ellington (Philip Anglim) was holding Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) at gunpoint in the next room. So what did J.R. do? He finished negotiating his deal of course! Once that was settled, J.R. let everyone know what was happening on the other side of the door so they could rescue Sue Ellen. Hey, don’t look so surprised. These are Ewings we’re talking about. Oil comes first. Always.

Abby Ewing, Dallas, Donna Mills, Knots Landing

Hi, bob

Always look your best. When villainous Mark St. Clair took Gary’s second wife Abby (Donna Mills) hostage in the back of a limousine during the final moments of “Knots Landing’s” 1983-84 season, her flaxen hair fell onto her shoulders. The following fall’s season premiere picked up moments later, yet Abby was now sporting a chic bob. How? Why? It was never explained. Perhaps she gave herself a trim to ensure she’d be camera-ready in case the press showed up to cover her eventual rescue. Now that’s thinking like a Ewing.

Abby Cunningham, Dallas, Donna Mills, Knots Landing

She never liked Val’s curtains anyway

Give Abby the weapon. Speaking of Abby: If you’re able to wrest control of your captor’s weapon and she happens to be nearby, by all means toss the instrument to her. She’ll know what to do with it. During Val’s baby-shower-from-hell, Abby used a fire extinguisher to blow away one of the bad guys (literally!). Later, during her own hostage crisis, Abby managed to grab St. Clair’s gun and turn it on him. In that instance, her rescuer Greg Sumner insisted she give him the gun. Just like him to waltz in and take over a show, isn’t it?

What’s the big deal?

Master the art of the fake-out. When J.R. (Larry Hagman) went to an abandoned theme park to negotiate the kidnapped John Ross’s release, the boy’s captor, B.D. Calhoun, thought J.R. was alone. Wrong! Bobby and Ray secretly tagged along and helped J.R. stage a daring rescue of his son. Years earlier, J.R. and Ray pulled a similar stunt when they helped Cliff negotiate Bobby’s release from a trio of dim-witted kidnappers. In that instance, Cliff was almost killed, which seemed to upset a lot of people. J.R. never understood why.

Command performance

When all else fails, sing! If your captors are anything like the bad guys the Ewings encounter, chances are they’re going to want you to sing. Don’t ask why; apparently this is something hostage-takers do. You could be like Sue Ellen, who sobbed her way through Barbra Streisand’s “People” for Frick and Allen, or you could play it like Lucy, who was forced to enter a talent competition by Willie and absolutely killed it with her rendition of “Silver Threads and Golden Needles.” It was a great performance, but we wonder: Why didn’t Lucy sing “Rescue Me” instead?

What have the Ewings taught you about surviving a hostage crisis? Share your comments below and read more “Dallas Decoder Guides.”

Filed Under: Dallas Decoder Guide to ..., Features Tagged With: Brian Dennehy, Charlene Tilton, Cooper Huckabee, Donna Mills, Greg Evigan, Joan Van Ark, Kim Lankford, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Michele Lee, Philip Anglim, TNT

Oh, ‘Pioneers’! Soaps Tribute is a Sprint Down Memory Lane

January 21, 2013 by Chris Baker 5 Comments

Along came Polly

“There’s not a show on right now, at this moment, that isn’t soap,” Joan Van Ark declares during PBS’s “Pioneers of Television” tribute to the nighttime soap operas of the 1980s. She’s referring to the emergence of serialization as the dominant form of storytelling in prime time, and so she has a point. Carrie and Brody, Walt and Jesse, Don and Peggy. On television, no one’s story ends anymore.

This would seem to be the most enduring legacy of the ’80s soaps, but Van Ark’s trenchant observation is the closest “Pioneers” comes to addressing it. The 52-minute retrospective, which most PBS stations will air tomorrow night, recalls three shows – “Dallas,” “Dynasty” and “Knots Landing” (sorry “Falcon Crest” fans) – through the usual mix of talking heads and old clips. But with lots of ground to cover and so little time to do it, the interviews become sound bites and the clips become snips. This is a sprint down memory lane.

“Dallas” fans will appreciate the prominence given to Larry Hagman, who recorded his interview before his death last fall. We also get to hear from Patrick Duffy, Linda Gray and Charlene Tilton, although some of their stories and the scenes that accompany them will be all-too-familiar to “Dallas” diehards. Prepare to see Kristin pump J.R. full of lead for the umpteenth time, and to hear again how that bogus Irish Spring commercial provided the cover to film the dead Bobby’s reanimation in Pam’s shower. Isn’t it time to let the “Dallas” cast reminisce about something other than the show’s cliffhangers?

There are a few surprises. I had forgotten how Hagman’s role as a slick Texas businessman in the 1974 flick “Stardust” helped him slide into J.R.’s boots four years later. It’s also fun to see photos of the young, dreamy Hagman, and to hear him recall how he and Joan Collins dated as teenagers. Wisely, the “Pioneers” producers also give Hagman the last word, and his too-humble assessment of his performance as J.R. allows the program to end on a graceful, poignant note.

The most interesting moment overall comes when narrator Ryan Seacrest (yes, him) points out the ’80s soap were “among the whitest shows on television.” “Dynasty” is justly praised for casting Diahann Carroll in a starring role, and we’re reminded that “Knots Landing” once moved an African American family, the Williamses, onto the cul-de-sac, only to shift the characters to the backburner. Lynne Moody, who played Pat Williams, recalls how she grew frustrated with her lack of screen time and asked the “Knots Landing” producers to let her out of her contract. They agreed. Her tone suggests she regrets that decision a little now.

Unfortunately, “Pioneers” ignores the influence the soaps had on television’s depiction of women, which is probably the genre’s other significant legacy. Victoria Principal’s Pam Ewing was one of the medium’s first sexually liberated heroines, and “Dynasty” and “Knots Landing” deserve credit for showing women could be every bit as savvy as men in the world of big business. But “Pioneers” breezes past all that and instead gives us the usual blather about shoulder pads and catfights. At least we get to hear Michele Lee’s “Pollyanna speech” from “Knots Landing,” which feels more resonant today than it did two decades ago.

It might also have been nice if the producers had invited some of the stars of today’s prestige serials to comment on the ’80s soaps, the way Tina Fey paid tribute to Mary Tyler Moore and Lucille Ball during last week’s “Pioneers” tribute to comedic women. If nothing else, PBS should have let us hear from some of the stars of its own hit soap, “Downton Abbey.” After all, if it wasn’t for Bobby and Pam, would there be a Matthew and Mary?

Most PBS stations will broadcast “Pioneers of Television: Primetime Soaps” on Tuesday, January 22, at 8 p.m. Eastern. Watch the show, share your comments below and read more opinions from Dallas Decoder.

Filed Under: Opinion, Opinion Tagged With: Charlene Tilton, Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Lynne Moody, Michele Lee, Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal

The Dallas Decoder Interview: David Jacobs

December 3, 2012 by Chris Baker 20 Comments

David Jacobs

Before J.R. Ewing appeared on our television screens, he existed in the mind of David Jacobs. I was honored last week to speak to Jacobs, who shared his memories of creating “Dallas” and its most famous character, as well as working with the actor who brought J.R. to life, Larry Hagman.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this amazing character, J.R. Ewing, since Larry Hagman’s death. How did you envision J.R. when you created him?

I envisioned him the way he became but not as radical; Larry brought something of his own to the role right away. In the first “Dallas” script [after Pam turns the tables on J.R.], Larry’s last line is, “Well, I underestimated the new Mrs. Ewing. I’ll never make that mistake again.” And the script says he smiles. But Larry didn’t smile. He laughed. It was a small laugh, but he laughed. And that changed it. He took possession of the character at that moment. Because the smile would have said, “Oh, I have a worthy adversary,” whereas the laugh meant, “Hold onto your hats, this is going to be fun.”

It’s funny to think Hagman wasn’t the first choice for the role.

We originally offered it to Robert Foxworth. The producers and I had a conference call with him and he wanted to know why J.R. was the way he was. And we said, you know, he’s made 10 times as much money for the family as his father ever did, yet his father still likes his brother better. Then Foxworth said, “Well, how are you going to make him more sympathetic?” And everyone in the room looked at me to answer that question. At me – this was probably the first conference call I’d been on in my life, and they were waiting for me to answer. And I said, “Well, we’re not. J.R. believes the way business works is, you screw them before they screw you. And he likes that. The process. He loves it.”

Was anyone else considered for the role?

No. After Foxworth passed, Barbara Miller, who was in charge of casting, said Larry Hagman wanted to come in. And my first reaction was, Larry Hagman? He was the Major [on “I Dream of Jeannie”]. I knew he was a good actor because I had seen him in “Harry & Tonto,” where he was just wonderful. And he has a very small role in “Fail Safe,” but it made a big impression on me. He was the translator [who tells the president of the United States about a nuclear disaster]. And Larry walks down the corridor to the president’s office and raises his hand to knock on the door – and he doesn’t. He smooths his hair back with his hand and takes a breath, and then he knocks. I always remembered that gesture.

J.R. (Larry Hagman) in 1978

But you didn’t think he was right for J.R.?

It was more like, “He really wants this role? Hmm.” So he came in the next day. I was sitting in [producer] Phil Capice’s office, with Phil and Mike Filerman, the executive I developed “Dallas” with, and of course Lenny Katzman. My back was to the doorway, and I noticed they all were looking past me, startled, almost. And I turned around and there, in the door was Larry Hagman, in a Stetson and boots. And he came in the room, in character with his Dallas accent. And within two minutes there was never any question J.R. would be played by anyone else.

Oh, wow! I don’t think I’ve heard this story.

It was an amazing performance. You know, he was an established actor. We wouldn’t have asked him to read for the role, but he did read in a sense. He just auditioned in character – for just a few minutes. And then he was back to being Larry Hagman. It was really shrewd of him – intuitively genius.

Now that Hagman’s gone, will you be sad to see this character you created come to an end?

Well, I’m sad that Larry’s gone. Yes, I created the character. And yes, I knew in the phone call with Foxworth the kind of unapologetic villain he should be. But don’t get me wrong: that guy belonged to Hagman. The synergy that created the character of J.R. was the synergy of actor and role more than it was the writer and the actor.

Do you have ideas about how you’d kill him off?

No. I haven’t thought about it. Who knows? I might come up with something brilliant if I thought about it. You know, when they brought back the show [on TNT], I thought about things that I would do differently, but Larry’s death is too fresh. It’s too raw.

How do you think J.R.’s death will affect the new show?

A lot of people have asked me that. I think they’ll probably get a [ratings] bump when they air the episodes that deal with J.R.’s death. But after that, to be perfectly honest, I think the “next generation” has to step up – like every “next generation.” I definitely think the show has the ingredients to stand on its own. Maybe they’re a little afraid of it, but maybe this will get them to do it.

Kind of like the mama bird pushing her baby out of the nest?

Exactly. And of course J.R.’s going to cast a shadow over it forever. But we’ll see.

Gary and Val (Ted Shackelford, Joan Van Ark) in 1979

How do you feel about Gary and Val’s upcoming visit to the new “Dallas”? You played with those characters for 14 seasons on “Knots Landing.” Now they’re going to be in the hands of other writers.

It’s OK. I’m not like [Aaron] Sorkin, whose characters speak Sorkinese and it’s brilliant. I always wrote very stylized dialogue and let fine actors like Joan Van Ark and Ted Shackelford make the words theirs. They’ll still be Val and Gary. So I don’t worry about it.

What do you think Leonard Katzman, the original “Dallas’s” longtime producer, would think of the new show?

He’d hate it.

Really? Why?

He just would. He hated the [original show’s “dream” season] after he’d walked away from it. That season has taken a rap that I don’t believe it deserves. It was trying to freshen up the act. But Leonard hated it.

Well, what about you? Do you like the new show?

I do. It’s great to see Southfork in H.D. and widescreen. Beautiful. I do wish they would slow things down. Mike and I were talking recently and said we could’ve gotten 10 shows from the first five. [Laughter] And not by stretching, but by making it more complex and by making the stories less plot-driven and more character-driven. I think it was Chekov who said plot is character. Whoever said it, I agree with.

Do you think there’s any chance of “Knots Landing” coming back?

No, I don’t think so. “Knots Landing” never had the ratings and the international appeal that “Dallas” had. “Knots” recreated would have to be five younger families living on the cul-de-sac – and not related to the older characters. Because if they were related it wouldn’t be believable. “Knots Landing” was always the hardest show to write because unlike “Dallas,” the conflict wasn’t built into the structure. You always wanted to ask the question: Why don’t they just move out? Why don’t they just stop talking to their neighbors like neighbors everywhere?

Getting back to “Dallas”: Your pilot script is dated December 10, 1977. Thirty-five years later, we’re still watching this show. How does that make you feel?

You know, while it was on the air, it was sort of a guilty pleasure because I wasn’t running it. It was my first show. Afterward I ran “Knots Landing” and my other shows, and “Dallas” was in the hands of Lenny Katzman. But later on, I realized “Dallas” really was the model for all the shows that came after it. Before “Dallas,” there was a great fear of serialization in prime time. Mike and I thought continuing drama was exactly the right form for television. And the form of “Dallas” became the model for all the continuing dramas that followed and are now dominant. So it really did change television in a very not-so-subtle, real way. And I like that.

Well, I know I speak for a lot of fans when I say we’re thankful to you for creating this really fun, fantastic show.

And I’m thankful to Larry Hagman. His loss means something to me. He was a nice man. He was a terrific actor. Absolutely underrated. But God knows he left this earth doing what he loved. A lot of us might wish to go that same way. So I’m glad I was able to provide him with the vehicle that he would use to display his great talent, and I’m certainly grateful to him for being the driving force of a show that has meant a lot to me.

Share your comments below and read more interviews from Dallas Decoder.

Filed Under: Interviews, News Tagged With: Barbara Miller, David Jacobs, Joan Van Ark, Larry Hagman, Leonard Katzman, Mike Filerman, Phil Capice, Robert Foxworth, Ted Shackelford, TNT

The Dal-List: Kristin Shepard’s 13 Greatest Moments

October 11, 2012 by Chris Baker 11 Comments

Thanks for the memories, darlin’

Dallas Decoder kicks off its newest periodic feature, “The Dal-List,” with a look back at the 13 most memorable moments featuring “Dallas” vixen Kristin Shepard, played by the magnificent Mary Crosby.

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Rudy Millington, Terry Lester

Clothes call

13. Leaving Rudy. Feeling neglected by J.R. (Larry Hagman), Kristin turned to old flame Rudy Millington (Terry Lester) – and for a moment, it looked like she was going to allow him to make an honest woman of her. Then J.R. showed up, interrupting their post coital bliss. Before this embarrassing scene was over, Kristin had chosen J.R., leaving poor Rudy with a broken heart, no job – and possibly no pants. (“Return Engagements”)

Conundrum, Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby

Of vice and men

12. Scamming Judge Smith. A decade after Kristin’s death, an “angel” showed J.R. what life would have been like if he had never been born, including the revelation that Kristin became a cop. J.R. watched her bust grandfatherly Judge Smith (James T. Callahan) for solicitation – but it turned out the badge was fake: Kristin was really a con artist who preyed on powerful men. Guess she was destined to be bad. (“Conundrum”)

Dallas, Don Starr, Jordan Lee, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby

Daddy day scare

11. Bilking Jordan. After giving birth in California, Kristin sashays back to Dallas and makes a phone call. “The baby … looks just like you,” she coos. The audience is led to believe the person on the other end of the line is J.R. – so imagine our surprise when it turns out to be rival oilman Jordan Lee (Don Starr). It seems Kristin lied to Jordan, telling him he was her child’s father – just so she could bilk him for hush money. (“Full Circle”)

Bobby Ewing, Colleen Camp, Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Sue Ellen's Sister

Buckle up, Bob

10. Charming Bobby. Kristin (Colleen Camp) paid her first visit to Southfork just as Bobby and Pam (Patrick Duffy, Victoria Principal) were hitting a rough patch – so J.R. naturally encouraged his wife’s little sister to seduce his baby brother. Kristin obliged, charming Bobby with her clever wit and tight sweaters. Then Bobby and Pam made up, leaving Kristin free to pursue the brother she wanted all along. (“Sue Ellen’s Sister”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Power Play

See what develops

9. Exposing Lucy. The only person Kristin despised more than Lucy (Charlene Tilton) was J.R.’s protégé Alan Beam (Randolph Powell), so when Kristin saw Lucy and Alan canoodling at a roller disco, she did what came naturally: She reached for the nearest Polaroid and started snapping pictures. Kristin hoped exposing Lucy and Alan’s secret affair would get them in trouble. It didn’t work out that way, but it still caused lots of drama. (“Power Play”)

Dallas, Knots Landing, Krisitn Shepard, Joan Van Ark, Mary Crosby, Valene Ewing

Lap it up, Val

8. Befriending Val. After wearing out her welcome in Dallas, Kristin headed to Knots Landing, where she got busy wrecking the marriage of those nice young suburbanites, Kenny and Ginger Ward (James Houghton, Kim Lankford). Soon, Valene (Joan Van Ark) was confronting Kristin, who confessed she was pregnant and afraid for her future. It was a rare and moving glimpse into Kristin’s soul. Who knew she even had one? (“Kristin”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Linda Gray, Mary Crosby, Silent Killer

Sister, sister

7. Taunting Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) was suffering major post-partum depression when Kristin started flirting with J.R. So you couldn’t blame big sis for being suspicious when Kristin popped into her bedroom one evening to see if she’d be joining the rest of the family for dinner. “Were you thinking of occupying my chair?” Sue Ellen seethed. “Somebody will if you don’t pull yourself together,” Kristin sneered. (“The Silent Killer”)

Dallas, Divorce Ewing Style, Kristin Shepard, Linda Gray, Mary Crosby, Sue Ellen Ewing

Spill life

6. Drenching Sue Ellen. Oh, look: Sue Ellen and Kristin are in a posh restaurant, toasting their renewed friendship. Nice to see them getting along, isn’t it? Whoops, klutzy Kristin just spilled her cocktail in Sue Ellen’s lap. If she’s not careful, the Ewings are going to smell the booze and begin to suspect Sue Ellen has fallen off the wagon. Wait, what’s that you say? That was Kristin’s plan all along? What a hussy! (“Divorce, Ewing Style”)

Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Kristin Shepard, Larry Hagman, Mary Crosby

If smirks could kill

5. Seducing J.R. Once J.R. hired Kristin as his new secretary, it didn’t take her long to figure out his scheme to secretly mortgage Southfork. She threatened to spill the beans to Jock and Bobby – unless J.R. slept with her. Turns out she didn’t need to ask twice. “Kristin,” J.R. said as he took her in his arms, “with your mind and your body, it just might take me a lifetime to figure you out.” Cost him his life is more like it. (“The Kristin Affair”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Nightmare

Move over, Florence Nightingale

4. Mocking J.R. While recovering in the hospital from his shooting, J.R. was surprised to receive a visit from Kristin, who was still in town after his goons failed to run her off. “Don’t you worry, Kristin. When I get out of here, you’ll get yours,” J.R. warned. “I know I will,” she smirked as she looked his paralyzed body up and down. “But not from you. That’s for sure.” J.R.’s under-his-breath response after she left the room: “Bitch.” (“Nightmare”)

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Gone But Not Forgotten, J.R. Ewing, Ken Kercheval, Kristin Shepard, Larry Hagman, Mary Crosby

Is it really that black and white?

3. Scandalizing J.R. After giving birth to the son she claimed was J.R.’s, Kristin showed up at Southfork demanding more “child support.” Next thing you know, Cliff was fishing her dead body out of the swimming pool and claiming J.R. had murdered her. Before all was said and done, J.R. was being hauled into court to prove his innocence. Even in death, Kristin was still causing him trouble. That’s our girl! (“Gone But Not Forgotten”)

Dallas, Kristin Shepard, Mary Crosby, Who Done It?, Who Shot J.R.?

She bangs

2. Shooting J.R. No one knew whodunit when J.R. was gunned down in his office. Then the weapon was discovered in his bedroom closet. The cops arrested Sue Ellen, who figured out Kristin was framing her and made little sister confess. Of course, Kristin had a get-out-of-jail card: She was pregnant with J.R.’s love child. Fed up with her drama, J.R. finally exiled Kristin to California. Too bad she didn’t stay there. (“Who Done It?”)

Wait ’til you see him grown up!

1. Birthing Christopher. OK, we never actually saw this on screen, but so what? After miscarrying J.R.’s baby, Kristin got pregnant by sleazy Jeff Farraday (Art Hindle), who sold their child, Christopher, to Bobby after Miss Shepard took her deadly dive into the Southfork swimming pool. So when you think about it, Kristin is responsible for giving us Jesse Metcalfe on TNT’s “Dallas.” If that’s not a crowning achievement, I don’t know what is.

What do you consider Kristin Shepard’s greatest moments? Share your choices below and read more “Dal-Lists.”

Filed Under: Dal-Lists, Features Tagged With: Art Hindle, Charlene Tilton, Colleen Camp, Conundrum, Divorce Ewing Style, Don Starr, Full Circle, Gone But Not Forgotten, James Hougton, James T. Callahan, Jesse Metcalfe, Joan Van Ark, Ken Kercheval, Kim Lankford, Knots Landing, Kristin, Kristin Affair, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Mary Crosby, Nightmare, Patrick Duffy, Power Play, Randolph Powell, Return Engagements, Silent Killer, Sue Ellen’s Sister, Terry Lester, TNT, Victoria Principal, Who Done It?, Who Shot J.R.?

Critique: ‘Knots Landing’ Episode 30 – ‘Designs’

September 20, 2012 by Chris Baker 4 Comments

Stick it to him

In “Designs,” J.R. once again visits “Knots Landing” and once again, the results are disappointing. These crossover episodes are almost never as good as they should be.

On paper, occasionally sending “Dallas” characters to Seaview Circle makes perfect sense. “Dallas” was television’s most-watched series in the early 1980s, when “Knots Landing” was still struggling to find an audience. CBS, the network that aired both shows, probably encouraged the “Knots Landing” producers to make room for “Dallas” characters a few times each season to goose the spinoff’s ratings.

Since Bobby and Lucy are on friendly terms with “Knots Landing’s” Gary and Valene, it was plausible to have them show up in the cul-de-sac from time to time. But J.R. despises his Southern California relatives, which meant the “Knots Landing” writers had to keep coming up with excuses to bring him to town.

In “Designs,” J.R. offers to patent the cleaner car engine Sid Fairgate has been developing in his spare time. Yes, J.R. does business with part-time garage inventors. This surprises you?

To be fair, Diana Gould and Robert W. Gilmer’s script has J.R. tell Sid’s wife Karen he’s interested in the engine because “money is money. I don’t care whether it comes from burning oil or saving it.” It seems more likely J.R. wants to seize Sid’s project so he can kill it, but this is never made clear. I don’t mind a little ambiguity now and then, but since car engines are so far outside J.R.’s realm, it would be nice to have a better idea of what he’s up to.

The script also requires J.R. to spend almost all his time with the Fairgates, whom he barely knows and who aren’t exactly his kind of people to begin with. “Designs” also offers several scenes between J.R. and Sid’s scheming sister Abby, and like J.R. and Abby’s scenes in “A Family Matter,” their “Designs” alliance isn’t as much fun as you might expect. Donna Mills and Larry Hagman make a fine couple, but I’d still rather see J.R. fight with Val than fawn over Abby. Unfortunately, Hagman and Joan Van Ark share no scenes in this episode. Talk about your missed opportunities.

Given how much I love Hagman’s “Knots Landing” debut in the first-season episode “Community Spirit,” I’m as surprised as anyone to find his subsequent visits so lacking. For J.R., maybe one trip out west was enough.

Grade: C

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Backseat affair

‘DESIGNS’

“Knots Landing” Season 2, Episode 17

Airdate: March 26, 1981

Audience: 16.3 million homes, ranking 18th in the weekly ratings

Writers: Diana Gould and Robert W. Gilmer

Director: Nicholas Sgarro

Synopsis: Sid rejects J.R.’s offer to patent his design for a cleaner car engine. Abby sneaks a copy of the design to J.R., but she makes him sign a contract that protects her brother’s interest in the project. J.R. and Abby consummate their deal by having sex.

Cast: Tonya Crowe (Olivia Cunningham), Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing) James Houghton (Kenny Ward), Bobby Jacoby (Brian Cunningham), Barry Jenner (Jeff Cunningham), Kim Lankford (Ginger Ward), Michele Lee (Karen Fairgate), Claudia Lonow (Diana Fairgate), Constance McCashin (Laura Avery), Donna Mills (Abby Cunningham), Don Murray (Sid Fairgate), John Pleshette (Richard Avery), Arthur Rosenberg (Dr. Harper), Ted Shackelford (Gary Ewing), Steve Shaw (Eric Fairgate), Joan Van Ark (Valene Ewing), John Volstad (bellhop)

Watch “Designs” on DVD and share your comments below.

Filed Under: Critiques, Critiques (Classic), Opinion Tagged With: Community Spirit, Designs, Donna Mills, Family Matter, Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman

The Art of Knots Landing: ‘The Loudest Word’

September 13, 2012 by Chris Baker Leave a Comment

Valene (Joan Van Ark) discuss her cancer surgery with Bobby (Patrick Duffy) in this 1981 publicity shot from “The Loudest Word,” a second-season “Knots Landing” episode.

Filed Under: Art of Dallas, Art of Dallas (Classic), Features Tagged With: Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, Loudest Word, Patrick Duffy

Critique: ‘Knots Landing’ Episode 26 – ‘The Loudest Word’

September 13, 2012 by Chris Baker 10 Comments

Enter the hero

Toward the end of “The Loudest Word,” Valene Ewing lies in a hospital bed, waiting to have surgery to determine if she’ll need a colostomy. The room is dark, and so is Val’s mood. Suddenly, the door opens and in walks Bobby Ewing. In that instant, we know everything is going to be OK.

Such is Bobby’s power. He’s our hero, and when this “Knots Landing” episode debuted in February 1981, it showcased his innate goodness in a way “Dallas” hadn’t done in awhile. At the time, Bobby had gone off the rails a bit over on the parent show. His rocky tenure running Ewing Oil had just ended and he was about to embark on a political career, unaware his neglected wife Pam was contemplating having an affair.

These developments added some interesting wrinkles to Bobby’s persona, but let’s face it: The character is at his best when he’s the white knight, which is the role he fills in “The Loudest Word.”

When Bobby enters Val’s hospital room and she confesses how frightened she is, he tenderly comforts her. Later, he delivers Gary a proverbial kick in the rear, helping his older brother find the courage he needs to stand by Val when she needs him most. As an added bonus, Bobby has an exchange with Gary and Val’s neighbor Sid Fairgate – a kind of summit of prime-time soapdom’s all-around good guys. Patrick Duffy is terrific in each of these scenes. His trademark is delivering his dialogue with breathless intensity, and he does it beautifully when Bobby gives his tough-love pep talk to Gary.

Joan Van Ark and Ted Shackelford are also really good in “The Loudest Word.” Shackelford’s physical performance, in particular, is something to behold. In the scene where Gary goes berserk, the actor (it doesn’t appear to be a stunt double) destroys Gary and Val’s bedroom with frightening efficiency.

But the real star of “The Loudest Word” is scriptwriter Joseph B. Wallenstein, whose dialogue is poetic. When Karen Fairgate notices daughter Diana’s troubled response to Val’s crisis, she tells husband Sid, “I work so hard at remembering that she’s a young woman, sometimes I forget how much little girl is still left.” Another nice line: Gary recalls hearing Val’s doctor deliver her diagnosis and says, “I heard that word, ‘malignant.’ And it was the loudest word I ever heard.”

Great writing is one of “Knots Landing’s” hallmarks, and one area where it often outshines its parent show. No wonder the Ewings made so many trips west during “Dallas’s” fourth season.

Grade: B

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Last of the good guys

‘THE LOUDEST WORD’

“Knots Landing” Season 2, Episode 13

Airdate: February 19, 1981

Audience: 17.8 million homes, ranking 13th in the weekly ratings

Writer: Joseph B. Wallenstein

Director: Kim Friedman

Synopsis: When Val is diagnosed with colon cancer and faces the possibility of having a colostomy, Gary falls apart. Bobby arrives and is at Gary’s side when he learns Val’s surgery was a success and a colostomy wasn’t needed.

Cast: Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), James Houghton (Kenny Ward), Kim Lankford (Ginger Ward), Michele Lee (Karen Fairgate), Claudia Lonow (Diana Fairgate), Constance McCashin (Laura Avery), Donna Mills (Abby Cunningham), Don Murray (Sid Fairgate), Patricia Murray (Sandy), John Pleshette (Richard Avery), Arthur Rosenberg (Dr. Harper), Ted Shackelford (Gary Ewing), Steve Shaw (Eric Fairgate), Joan Van Ark (Valene Ewing)

“The Loudest Word” is available on DVD. Watch the episode and share your comments below.

Filed Under: Critiques, Critiques (Classic), Opinion Tagged With: Joan Van Ark, Knots Landing, Loudest Word, Patrick Duffy, Ted Shackelford

The Best & Worst of Dallas: Season 3

September 6, 2012 by Chris Baker 13 Comments

“Dallas’s” third season offers lots to celebrate – and a few things to curse.

Performances

Can’t touch this

Larry Hagman and Linda Gray do mighty impressive work in Season 3, but even they can’t touch Jim Davis and Barbara Bel Geddes. Since I began re-watching “Dallas,” the nicest discovery has been how good Davis is as Jock, especially in third-season episodes like “The Dove Hunt,” when he stares down rifle-wielding Tom Owens, and “Return Engagements,” when the humbled Ewing patriarch is a surprise guest at Gary and Valene’s wedding.

Barbara Bel Geddes, Dallas, Miss Ellie Ewing

This either

Meanwhile, Bel Geddes brings her trademark quiet strength to “Ellie Saves the Day” and “Return Engagements,” but the actress also shows us her character’s vulnerable side in “Mastectomy, Part 1” and “Mastectomy, Part 2,” the episodes that won Bel Geddes an Emmy. She earned the award, but I can’t help but think how much sweeter her victory would have been if the equally deserving Davis had been honored too.

Storylines

Choosing the season’s best narrative is tough – Sue Ellen’s struggle with motherhood and Ray and Donna’s tortured love story are each strong contenders – but J.R.’s risky Asian oil deal gets my vote for most compelling plot. This storyline isn’t about exploring J.R.’s business acumen as much as it is about delving into his psyche: By revealing how far the character is willing to go to build Ewing Oil (he mortgages Southfork!), the show lets us know J.R. is every bit as compulsive as Sue Ellen. She may be powerless over booze, but he’s addicted to his own ambition.

Least favorite storyline: Lucy becomes engaged to Alan Beam to spite J.R. Really, “Dallas”?

Episodes

Bobby Ewing, Dallas, J.R. Ewing, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy

Save them, Mama

Choosing the third year’s finest hour is tough. A strong case can be made for “A House Divided,” the finale that famously ends with J.R. getting shot (for the second time this season, after he’s ambushed in “The Dove Hunt”). But my ultimate choice is “Ellie Saves the Day,” the poignant hour that brings the Ewing empire to the brink of collapse. If you want to understand why Bobby fought so hard to protect his mama’s legacy on TNT’s “Dallas,” watch this episode.

Worst third-season entry: “Power Play.” Lucy romances Alan at a roller disco, Kristin captures their canoodling with some artfully framed Polaroid snapshots and Jock starts jive talking. “You dig?” he asks Lucy at one point. Um, no big guy. We don’t.

Scenes

Gusher!

So many choices: I love when Patricia Shepard predicts John Ross’s future in “The Silent Killer,” the pep talk Bobby offers a worried Jock in “Ellie Saves the Day” and the “Paternity Suit” sequence where J.R. picks up his infant son for the first time. There’s also Miss Ellie’s encounter with phony-baloney Marilee Stone and Linda Bradley (also from “Paternity Suit”), as well as the lovely beach scene where Gary and Val make amends with Lucy, which occurred on “Knots Landing” but is too good to not mention here.

Ultimately, my favorite scene is the “Mother of the Year” sequence that mimics the rhythms of an oil strike. J.R. sits in his office, staring at his telephone, depressed because he hasn’t hit a gusher in Asia. Then the phones begin ringing as news of his big strike trickles in, leading to J.R.’s joyful eruption (“Yee-ha! We hit!”). Brilliant.

The season’s most ridiculous moment: when Kristin “accidentally” pours her drink into her sister’s lap during their “Divorce, Ewing Style” lunch date. Sue Ellen, how did you not know you were being set up?

Supporting Players

The best, fur sure

Susan Howard, who was still a guest star during “Dallas’s” third season, is the best supporting player, hands down. This is the year Donna is torn between honoring the memory of her dead husband and beginning a new life with Ray – and the actress does a beautiful job conveying her character’s torment. Besides Patrick Duffy, no one delivers breathy, soul-searching dialogue better than Howard.

Costumes

Forget about the metaphorical value associated with the jeans the rebellious Sue Ellen wears in “Rodeo” and focus on how good Linda Gray looks in them. Get it, girl!

The green spandex pants Kristin wears in the same episode might be the season’s most dated costume, but I’ll confess: I kind of love it.

Music

I also love, love, love John Parker’s “I’ll Still Be Loving You,” which is heard at the end of “Rodeo,” when Ray finally calls Donna after ignoring her letters. The tune, which becomes another of Ray’s anthems, is rivaled only by Jerrold Immel’s theme as my favorite piece of “Dallas” music.

Quips

Best: “Once I heard you were back in town, I just had some of my friends check out some of the cheaper motels.” – J.R.’s greeting to Val in “Secrets.” I could watch Hagman and Joan Van Ark go at it all day.

Worst: “And when I didn’t get married, I thought I was gonna die. But instead, I went to college.” – Lucy recalling her romantic history to Alan Beam in “The Heiress.” Oh, “Dallas.” Charlene Tilton is such a charming actress. Why do you insist on giving her ridiculous lines?

What do you love and loathe about “Dallas’s” third season? Share your comments below and read more “Best & Worst” reviews.

Filed Under: Best & Worst, Best & Worst (Classic), Opinion Tagged With: Barbara Bel Geddes, Charlene Tilton, Divorce Ewing Style, Dove Hunt, Ellie Saves the Day, Heiress, House Divided, Jerrold Immel, Jim Davis, Joan Van Ark, John Parker, Knots Landing, Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, Mastectomy Part 1, Mastectomy Part 2, Mother of the Year, Power Play, Return Engagements, Rodeo, Secrets, Silent Killer, Susan Howard, TNT

The Best & Worst of Dallas: Season 2

September 5, 2012 by Chris Baker 7 Comments

“Dallas” was still figuring itself out during its second season, which means there was plenty to hail and heckle.

Performances

Don’t mess with Mama

Although every member of the ensemble has great moments this season, no one is as consistently wonderful as Barbara Bel Geddes. Miss Ellie becomes a somewhat frustrating character as “Dallas” progresses – she too often casts a blind eye to J.R.’s shenanigans, in my view – but Season 2 is the year you do not want to mess with Mama. We see her demand J.R. clean up his act, order Julie to stay away from Jock and urge Pam to fight for her marriage. (There’s also Ellie’s encounter with the poor sap who makes the mistake of sneaking onto Southfork; see “Scenes” below.) In just about every second-season episode, Bel Geddes demonstrates how lucky “Dallas” is to have her.

Episodes

“Black Market Baby” is the most intriguing, “For Love or Money” is the saddest and “Royal Marriage” is a sentimental favorite, but “John Ewing III, Part 2” gets my vote for the season’s all-around best episode. Linda Gray is mesmerizing in the scene where Sue Ellen tearfully confesses her sins to Bobby, but Larry Hagman, Ken Kercheval and Victoria Principal all have terrific moments too.

Hands down, the season’s weakest hour is “Runaway,” the first – and so far only – “Dallas” episode to receive a “D” grade from me. Run away, indeed.

Scenes

Ten words of dialogue are all you need to describe Season 2’s best scene: “Ray, get me the shotgun out of the hall closet.”

The worst scene? The “Call Girl” sequence where Leeann Rees (Veronica Hamel) lures drunken Ben Maxwell (Fred Beir) into Pam’s bed while J.R.’s sleazy photographer furiously snaps pictures outside the window. What a farce. I half expect Mr. and Mrs. Roper to come charging into the room, wondering what all the commotion is all about.

Supporting Players

Knockout

I don’t care how many times I watch it, Joan Van Ark’s performance at the end of “Reunion, Part 2” always knocks me out. In the blink of an eye, Valene goes from anguished when she bids Gary adieu to enraged when she confronts J.R. for driving away his middle brother. With the exception of Linda Gray, no actress in “Dallas” history has better chemistry with Larry Hagman than Van Ark. What a shame she didn’t spend more time at Southfork.

My least-favorite guest stars: the three actors who portray the bad guys in “Kidnapped.” What’s the bigger crime here: holding Bobby hostage or the witless Edward G. Robinson imitations these villains-of-the-week deliver? Then again, what do you expect when performers are given lines like, “We may have the wrong goose – but he can still lay the golden egg!”

Costumes

Cliff Barnes, Dallas, Ken Kercheval, Pam Ewing, Victoria Principal

Timeless

I loved the striped hoodie, green pants and knee-high tan boots Pam wears during the “Election” scene where Cliff persuades her to organize a fashion show fundraiser for his state senate campaign. You could put this outfit on Jordana Brewster on TNT’s “Dallas” and she’d look just as stylish as Victoria Principal does in 1978.

Pam also gets my vote for worst outfit: the weird “pants dress” she sports in “Black Market Baby.”

Music

Season 1 gives us Jerrold Immel’s classic “Dallas” theme music, but Season 2 brings us many of John Parker’s magical background tunes, including “The Only Lovers,” Bobby and Pam’s theme; “The Adulteress,” Sue Ellen’s bluesy signature; and “The Loyal Foreman,” Ray’s anthem. (If you don’t own it already, do yourself a favor and purchase Parker’s classic “Dallas” soundtrack today.)

Quips

Best: “Bobby, come on. Women marry homosexuals all the time. It seems to suit a lot of them.” – J.R.’s response in “Royal Marriage” after Bobby questions his insistence Lucy marry the closeted oil-and-cattle heir Kit Mainwaring.

Worst: In “Fallen Idol,” J.R. expresses his annoyance with Guzzler Bennett’s name-dropping thusly: “The next thing you know, the name of that actress is gonna be Farrah Fawcett-Guzzler.” Oh, J.R.! Leave the pop culture references to Sue Ellen.

What do you love and loathe about “Dallas’s” second season? Share your comments below and read more “Best & Worst” reviews.